


Knight of Hell Dean

by cacoethes_scribendi, ereynolds



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Baby Clothes, Baby Sam, Crib, Diapers, Forced infantilism, Gen, Infantilism, Pacifier - Freeform, bottles, dub-con, non-con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-28
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-02-15 02:04:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 130,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2211654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cacoethes_scribendi/pseuds/cacoethes_scribendi, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ereynolds/pseuds/ereynolds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After waking up as a Knight of Hell Dean leaves Sam to keep him safe. 4 month later Sam has run himself ragged searching for a cure and looking for Dean at the same time. Mentally/Physically exhausted, and malnourished, Sam finally crosses an immoral line. Unbeknownst to Sam,  Dean has been keeping tabs on his little brother's activity.<br/>And when he finds out of Sam recent activity, it's the final straw for Dean-he pops in on an unsuspecting Sam.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Knight of Hell Dean

**Author's Note:**

> Hmm Hello All, this is an attempt at writing. I should warn you that I really suck at writing stories. I don't know the first thing about writing a beginning, middle and an end. I can not come-up with believe dialog between the characters. This was just an idea/scene that pop in my head. And I am inviting anyone who likes it or can go with (explore it better/write it better) it are welcome to take it and run with it.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After waking up as a Knight of Hell Dean leaves Sam to keep him safe. 4 month later Sam has run himself ragged searching for a cure and looking for Dean at the same time. Mentally/Physically exhausted, and malnourished, Sam finally crosses an immoral line. Unbeknownst to Sam, Dean has been keeping tabs on his little brother's activity.  
> And when he finds out of Sam recent activity, it's the final straw for Dean-he pops in on an unsuspecting Sam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm Hello All, this is an attempt at writing. I should warn you that I really suck at writing stories. I don't know the first thing about writing a beginning, middle and an end. I can not come-up with believe dialog between the characters. This was just an idea/scene that pop in my head. And I am inviting anyone who likes it or can go with (explore it better/write it better) it are welcome to take it and run with it.

Knight of Hell Dean

Sam chew anxiously on the object in his mouth (refuse to the name the object cause it will make it all to real) to calm his nerves as he awaits Dean's arrival from shopping. He fidgets in bed (cause it's still a bed not what Dean build) knowing this had to work, not sure how much longer he could hold out.

Before submitting and admitting defeat…no dam it, he's a Winchester, we do not roll over and quit. John and Dean never gave up no matter how high the odds were stack against them. Even when Dean was going thru the motions after Sam let Lucifer out of the cage Dean did not give up, he proved that when he gank "Zachariah" right there in the green room (Sam still winces every time he remembers how stupid he was then ) maybe Dean's right maybe he should.. no, just no… Sam shakes his head none of this makes sense and how this would help both of them.

Stick to his original plan it took weeks after carefully planning and playing it out and baited his time, he succeed in obtaining the materials for this . He carefully peered thru the bars and look down at his handiwork carefully conceal among the strewn… ( gulp)…soft plush toys and play mat… he shook his head and look around his room and sigh pitifully, this had to work this was a one shot deal, if it didn't ….he shudder at what the consequences might be. If it fail there would be no second chances, Dean will be prepare and not allow him out of his sight 24/7. So failure was not an option here.

"Sammy I'm Home' Dean called out as he descent the stairs into the bunker, groceries bags in hand. Sam head snap up and look toward his bedroom door, this is it, he took a deep breath and exhale slowly as he can hear Dean walking down the hallway to him. Sam needed to calm down otherwise Dean will pick upon it. As the door handle turns and the door click open, Dean walked in and smile at Sam. Sam lower his gaze and for once glad that his hands were covered in mits otherwise they be twitching in plain sight.

"Hey Sammy did you have a nice nap" Dean spoke gently and softly.  
If it weren't for the black eyes Dean had as he walk in and then flick back to green. Sam would believe this was his big brother back to normal. But after 4 weeks of utter embarrassment and humiliation, he knew nodded his head to Dean's question, still not looking up letting his hair fall in his face to hide him.

"Sammy, how many times have I told you to look at me when I am talking to you " Dean quirk, Sam slowly tilted his head up and look at Dean, trying to look as innocent as possible. "That's better, there's those big baby eyes I like to see" Dean cooed at Sam. Sam cringe a bit and felt his cheeks warmed to the endearment, "Now ready for lunch baby boy" Dean asked , Sam was about to shake his head no, but realize he had to have Dean step closer towards him. He nodded his head and ( Sam hated this part) lifted his arms to Dean. Dean chuckle and step towards Sam, Sam watched anxiously as Dean step over the pink fluffy rabbit, and step next to the green frog as he fully step on the play mat with colorful numbers. Sam held his breath and then "SLAMMED" Dean staggered back as though he hit something in front of him.

"What the…?" Dean mutter confused, and step forward again slowly one arm raised in front of him and then he felt the invisible barrier in front of him. He quickly look at Sam with questioning eyes, Sam exhale the breath he was holding and look down at Dean's feet, Dean followed Sam's gaze. He saw his left boot underneath the green frog then he noticed it, a curve neon pink line disappearing under the frog….he kick the green frog out he way and saw the curved line continue under the mat? Dean lean down and pick-up the mat and quirk his eyes toward Sam "Devils' trap, really Sammy, you know they can't hold me", the room gave a shake as Dean spoke to Sam. Sam spat the disgusting pacifier from his mouth

"No Dean, not this time, not just a simple Devil trap….look up" Dean did and also in light neon blue(hidden perfectly in view- sky blue ceiling) he saw another symbol an Enochian Sigil with wording around the edge.

"Did you know when the Key of Solomon and the word of Enoch are opposite pole of each other they created a locking mechanism an ultimate cage for high level ranking demons like yourself" Sam said.

"Very nice Sammy point score for you this time, hmm but how do you plan on getting out your crib? The locks are in place on either side"  
Sam rolled his eyes at Dean "give me a little credit Dean, do you think I would not have contingency plans for all this" Sam huffed.  
"Contingency, huh Sammy big word for you" Dean repliedbr /  
"Shut up" Sam growled, he then sat back and put his right hand to his mouth and pulled off the blue baby mitten and from it a paper clip fell on his lap, with his right hand free he reached and pull off the left mitten. Sam heaved a sigh and ran his fingers thru his hair hauled his way to one end of the crib (caged it was a cage not a crib Sam thought to himself) reached thru the bars and pick the lock for a few seconds then it click open. Then proceed to the other end of the crib, and unlock that lock too, then he slid over to the middle of the bars push the two beige buttons lift up and then it audibly click too with trembling arms Sam lower the bars. He almost sigh with a sob, but held back, it was not over yet, he still had work to do./p

"Very good Sammy' Dean remark watching Sam the whole time with concern in his eyes, if the past 4 weeks had not happen he would have believe it was genuine, for now he would just ignored Dean's looks but since that Morning waking up in this comedic situation (more like F-up situation) Sam just laughed at Dean's comment boarding on hysteria.

"Sammy you all right there Buddy?" Dean asked, Sam just gave another huffed laugh, swung his legs over the edge of the crib.

"Think that's a good idea Sammy? You haven't been on your feet in a...

"Who's fault is that!" Sam angrily cuts Dean off...Sam takes a deep breath again slides his body more closer to the edge, his feet dangling a good twelve inches from the floor.

Great Sam thinks he's going to have to turn over onto his stomach and lower himself to the ground that way until his feet touch the carpet floor. This is embarrassing as he feels his t-shirt he is wearing ride half way up, but yes he touched ground, his legs a bit shaky. He instantly regrets it the moment he lets go of the mattress and rail, he's legs start to tremble in protest, they buck under him and falls down on his ass "squish" his bottom made, he's grateful for the soft padding, but scrunches his face in disgust, reminded of the utter humiliation Dean has put him through these past weeks. Sam glances over at Dean who is standing and staring right back arms crossed smiled. "Need some help there buddy?"

"As if" Sam retorts.

"so now what Sam, you manage to trap me, got out of your crib, did'ya think past that.?" Sam didn't respond to Dean, at this point he was gauging the distance to the door, he had a wide berth around Dean, so he didn't have to worry getting too close to the circle holding Dean. It's walking out that seems to be the problem.. Sam realizes what he has to do to get out into the hallway. Sam sags against the crib biting his lower lip, not looking forward to what he was about to do, he sigh again, leans forward, places his hands flat on the ground and pushes himself up on to his knees and holds himself steady, breathing in out telling himself this is normal. Head down he put his right hand forward, left knee, then left hand forward then right knee...he can do this, if he has to crawl out he will.

"awww Sammy you look adorable, and you put up such a fuss about it, when I wanted you to crawl" Dean chuckled... Sam glared at Dean but continued crawling past him to his goal...his arms started to tremble a bit as he got closer to the door and felt himself getting heavy with..no wait, he is not tired and sleepy...there no way in hell, he's...he's...and then a yawn escape him, just as he neared the door he plop back down on his bottom and rubs his right eye with his fist. Then he freezes as he hears Dean tuts, Sam looks over his shoulder Dean standing there arms still crossed but shaking his head grim expression on his face.

"looks like someone didn't take a nap, like he was supposed to" the tone in Dean's voice sends a shiver down Sam's spine, he quickly looks up to the ceiling Sigil still in place and looks down and Devil's trap still in place. Sam huffs to himself, why does he still react to Dean's voice? Sam steels himself leans forward again and crawls out the door, he knows exactly where he is going first and is so relieve to crawl into the bathroom down the hall, he can't believe it , he's ready to burst with emotional break down, but not yet time to celebrate he goes to the cabinet sink and looks for what he needs sees the scissor they keep in there. Sam lets out a sigh of relief again looks down and starts cutting down the side of the diaper he is in (currently wet- which explains the squish sound earlier)  
He looks towards the shower and thinks how good it will feel to clean up and wears some sweats, knows it's going to be difficult standing there, as he hoist himself off the floor grabbing on to the sink, testing his legs again after giving them a bit more circulation, still shaky but this time he might be able to stand a bit more longer. He steps over the soggy diaper and starts his trek to the tub just as he is about to reach it...

"oh Sammy' Dean's voice whispers next to his right ear a strong arm circles around his waist.

Sam goes rigid, fear building in the pit of his stomach "wha...wha...how?" Sam stammers weakly

"two words Sammy...watercolor markers" Dean says to Sam as he hauls him up with ease. Sam tenses and feels the flight/fight adrenaline come in but immediately deflates, he's been here before, he can't break Dean's hold not matter how hard he fights, he slumps against Dean chest.

As soon as Dean feels the fight leave Sam he gently whisper in Sam's ear "hold on tight baby" Sam slowly brings his arms up and wraps them around Dean's neck, keeping his face tuck in Dean' shoulder. Dean teleports to Sam's room, walks over to the large changing table/bathinet that converts to be used as a baby bath. Dean easily flips off the top and underneath is a concave plastic foam mat where he lays Sammy there is a neck rest at the end and underneath there is a small basin he can pull out to wash Sammy's hair.

As Sam lays there Dean opens the right side bassinet drawers and places them to right mini shelf next to Sam. Yellow baby wash cloth, baby body wash, baby shampoo with detangling conditioner.

Dean leans forward to Sam "okay baby" as he pulls Sam half way up, "arms" he tells Sam. Sam obeys and lift his arms as Dean slips off the yellow tee. Sam lays back and gazes up at the ceiling..he feels the first tear slip down the corner of his eyes. He feels a callous thumb pad gently wipe the tear. Sam looks at Dean and tries one more time to reason with him "Dean please" he whispers.

"it's okay Sammy, I know you're tired, hungry and icky. Let's get you clean up, dress and fed then down for a late afternoon nap" Dean tells Sam.  
Sam lays still,completely undressed as Dean picks up the small pitcher next to him already filled with warm water and starts from Sam's neck, tipping the pitcher forward going slowly down, his body as water pours out and slowly cascades down, there is a run off next to the plastic foam that lead to a drain where the water drains down, Dean does this two more times and then puts the pitcher down. He reaches for the wash cloth picks up the baby wash, squeezes a small amount. Dean begins to wash Sam. He gently scrubs his neck then down to his shoulders down one arm then the next arm. Chest next moving down his torso. Sam keeps his eyes closed the whole time, his cheeks flushed red. Sam feels as Dean finishes the left leg, then he picks up the pitcher again and once again water cascades down Sam's body. Sam wonders briefly how the pitcher never empties until Dean's finish bathing him, must be part of his new then feels Dean tap his thigh and Sam understand what that means, with Dean's help he flips over, belly down, back expose now, there is a face rest where Sam puts his face in (like the ones you see on massage tables) Dean begins the whole process again, water down Sam's back, gently begins washing , back of neck shoulder blades, down his back, over his butt, down the back of his legs and rinse. Sam is a deeper shade of red as Dean finishes. He feels the tap again and again Sam flips back. Sam settles in the neck rest comfortably as he feels the face rest removed beneath his head. Sam knows what's coming next and really it would be actually nice and welcome if Dean didn't...and there he goes, he feels Dean's hand cup over his eyes as he pours water over Sam's grabs the baby shampoo with detangler and very quickly and efficiently washes Sam's hair, as he goes to rinse, Sam lets out a sigh with a small yawn, Dean's heart warms and he chuckles "almost done baby, then we'll get you dress and then instead of our usual lunch together, a warm bottle and right to bed" Dean's informs Sam.

Sam is mortified he let out that yawn and his mind reeling with confusion. That should not have been as relaxing as it felt. He also noticed that he does tires easily these days from the hours of 11am to 12noon. Sam knows this is from Dean's day one rules enforcement...which starts to conditions the body and then the mind.

After 4weeks of nap time at exactly 11am wake up time at 1pm ,then lunch time with Dean. Which is why his body is feeling extremely tired, it's been condition to know it's suppose to be asleep now. Thank god his mind hasn't succumb to this treatment otherwise he wouldn't be able to read and interpret the tell tales signs and ...huh? When did Dean, flip back the bathinet to a full comfortable changing table and slip a thick Terry bath towel underneath him and apparently almost finished drying him with a second towel.

He must of been really deep in thought. "hey Sammy back with me" Dean asked. Sam raised his eyes browse up in confusion. Before Sam can ask him what does he means, Dean spoke again, "you dose off there for a few minutes, your lids were half way closed, just hold on 5 more minutes then you can settle down" Sam scrunched his face in annoyance to tell Dean off and again Dean interrupts "oh, oh, someone getting cranky and fussy for missing nap time and lunch"

"screw you Dean I'm not...before Sam could finish his sentence, Dean's face darkened "be careful with your words Sammy you are already in a lot of trouble, with the stunt you pull, causing you to mess up your schedule, it's the only reason I'm not punishing you now, but once you have been fed and fully rested, we are having one serious talk little boy and it will involve a spanking" Dean's voice was stern and authoritative.

Sam paled at Dean's words "Dean, listen you...we can't go on like I'm really two " "hush now baby" Dean interrupts Sam "let's get you diaper and dress.

Dean slips the diaper underneath Sam (Sam cringed not again) Dean rubs the baby ointment all around Sam's private parts and underneath his butt. Pulls up the front of the diaper over Sam's front and closed it and pulls the tab over. Sam face is scarlett red. He grabs the powder blue onesie pulls it over Sam's head and quickly pulls Sam's arms thru, before Sam could protest, snaps the three buttons shuts, does not put on pants since Sam is going right to sleep, just slips on some white ankle baby socks and of course places the baby blue mittens back on.

Dean leans down and whisper something quick and Sam watches as the blue satin at the wrist end re-ties itself back in to a perfect bow. Sam looks up at Dean with questioning eyes and Dean replies " now I'm the only one who can remove them, kind of like a protection spell" Sam face falls at this news.

"now up baby" he lift Sam with ease and walks over to the big rocking arm chair. Dean sit down with Sam in his lap, he lowers Sam a bit so he can feed him easily his bottle. Dean reaches for the bottle on the small table next to the chair, it's a baby formula for adult babies he located on the internet. It's had vanilla and cinnamon flavor plus all the nutrients his baby brother needs and his tummy will feel full to go to sleep. He lowers the rubber nipple to Sam' mouth. Sam clamps his mouth shut and glares at Dean, no way Sam thinks.

Dean sigh "okay Sammy we can do discipline now, if you want" Sam's eyes go large and shakes his head no. "then open up and drink Sammy" Sam resigned himself this time he tells himself opens up and closes his mouth around the rubber nipple and begins to suck gently. If he was really 2 years old, he would hum his appreciation as it does taste good (an explosion of flavor on his tongue)

"there's a good baby, I knew you like it" Dean softly tells Sam. Sam just sighs and starts to close his eyes, when Dean notices the bottle has about less than a quarter and can tell Sam is out, he gently pulls the bottle out of Sam mouth. He smiles fondly down at Sam as he makes this cute sound and attempts to 're-latch on the bottle. But Dean knows better he'll start sucking air soon and that won't be good for Sam tummy. Dean gets up carefully with Sam and carries him to his crib, the front is still lower so he easily puts Sam down, Dean arranges the extra pillows behind Sam, so Sam can stay on his right side, while he sleeps. He pulls up the soft blue comforter over Sam tucks him in and before he leaves puts the pacifier back in. He turns the light low "good night Sammy" Dean stands in the door way leaves the door open and makes his way to the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a re-edit version of my first hopefully better- I remove some not a lot and added new wordings


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 4 to 5 weeks ago.... how it started and what happened?? AS Dean investigates how Sam was able to research the new devil trap and Enochian Seal combo. He sits back and remembers how it started and what would lead up to confronting Sam.

Chapter 2- Flashback and memories

Dean enters the kitchen and picks up the bags he left on the counter before walking to Sam's room. He places the stuff away and starts to brew coffee. He deeply inhales the aroma..mmm fresh ground Costa Rican (it should be fresh he pop in and back directly from that Costa Rica market place off the coast) medium bodied blend perfect when relaxing in the afternoon and catching up on some reading material (yes he does read, he just doesn't like to admit it).

The timer beeps telling Dean coffee ready, he pours himself a cup and walks into the library and settles down in one of the chairs at the table picks up a book written in old Babylonian language and skims it quickly, hmm well that doesn't look promising Dean thinks, there are some text written on the Mark of Cain and sightings by scholars in those times but some of the theories they written on the Knights of hell are way off...Dean ponders for a moment and flicks his wrist to the book case across the room and a book comes flying off the third shelf towards him and he catches it. He flips it open and smiles this seems more like it, it's in Aramaic.. huh when did Sammy learn Aramaic?

There are definitely no online courses for this, but if he were to check in Sammy's Laptop, and he finds what he thinks he'll find... then when Sam wakes up that little boy is in a world of trouble. Dean's eyes flashes black and he looks towards the corner of the room and sees the heavy lock wooden chest next to the mantel.

He stares directly at it and then you hear it. an audible click, the lids flips open and out comes Sam's laptop and it floats towards Dean. Dean does not reaches for it as it floats before him, instead he lets it lower down to the table carefully as it lands, the laptop lid lift open. Dean leans forward and lowers his head until he is at eye level with the key board, he does not want to put his finger prints on it for a reason and he tilts his head to the side and he gently blows on the key board and a cool air comes out between Dean's lips and a cold mist covers the keyboards.

Hmm… no finger prints appear but you do see a round shape shadow on some of the keys. Dean thinks just for a minute and then right next to the laptop a box full of crayons and markers appear, "Sammy's art box" is printed on the side, Dean reaches in pulls out the box of Crayola water color markers, he had gotten for Sam , when Sam had ask for markers a week ago. He pulls one out and see the perfect round top of the marker he holds it over the keys and lowers it down, perfect fit on the shadow shape.

Okay that being confirmed he quickly turns on Sam's laptop and start typing quickly he knows his little geek brother is extremely smart except when being hurried, then he'll make a mistake and Sam had to have done this in a hurry especially, since he is rarely out of Dean's sight. Sam had earned privileges over the past 4 weeks like being left alone while Dean cooks breakfast, lunch, and dinner, or when Dean showers. Well that's one of the punishments he'll deal out to Sam. Now Sammy would have deleted his browsing history and other software history. But would he have time to go into the hard drives.

Not if he was nervous and scared of being caught, only one way to find out, this is where Dean is actually happy he has these new Demon powers.

Dean starts typing really fast and looking thru number codes on the screen and there it is, you see the screen flickers and the last thing that was on the laptop pop up. Dean's eyes narrow at a Hebrew and Arabic alphabet tablet which are ancestral language to Aramaic. With enough reference with both languages, you could make a decoder.

Dean leans back in the chair and sighs, this means Sammy been planning and calculating for 2 weeks. You gotta give it up to the little brat, when he wants to he can bluff with the best of them. Unless your Dean, he can read people easily, especially Sam. Dean did sense something was up this past week. Sam was quieter than usual, still stubborn and sullen at times but a little more quiet and distracted. Dean knew when Sam goes quiet it means Sam is thinking and going over something in his head he's seen it enough time when they would go over a difficult case.

Sam would go pensive and quiet which always meant to Dean, Sam was gathering all the puzzle pieces together and trying to make sense of the picture in front of him. Dean allowed it to play out to see how far Sam was going to go with whatever he was concocting. If Dean had not found this amusing, he would have been piss off at Sam for all the rules he broke. I mean he's still mad but still proud of the kid. But that was the whole point of this... so Sam did not have to think, stress, worry, self doubt, sacrifice and the list goes on... Dean passes his hand down his face.

Dean looks around the whole library and snaps his fingers and everything that was out, has been put away, Dean smiles, 5 months later and he was a complete natural with all his abilities and then some, of course he does not abuse them maybe in the beginning a bit he did, of course he was still learning and the Mark of Cain really had more control, Dean's conscious was barely holding on to who he once was...huh he thinks was it just a short time ago when he didn't care what happens to him or anyone else around him and over the top extreme carefree and careless attitude, not to mention, the craving to kill and destroy, that was the number one reason he had to get away form Sam when he woke up. The blood lust was controlled with the help believe it or not by Crowley... he needed Dean to clean house a bit. There were other factions in hell who had leaders who needed to be reminded who was the "King of Hell", although Dean's was no one's dog to command (he remind Crowley) he did see the logic and the fun in killing other demons. But before he was allow to go and start hunting down these factions, Crowley needed to make sure Dean knew how to tap into his powers and use them...

Training somewhere in Akron , Michigan small population...

Crowley had been surprise how easily Dean was able to learn his powers within a few short days. He thought it would be weeks before Dean was comfortable enough to do basic tricks- like teleporting, don't get Dean wrong the first day 3 times he tried, he ended up in the wrong place and sometimes at the wrong time- almost gave a couple of peoples heart attacks- not that he cared then, but Crowley did because that's how you leave a trail and Moose can easily track you! Crowley had shouted.

The 4th attempt he nailed it, not only could he teleport himself but he could teleport the "Impala" with him inside it as well... "Very impressive" Crowley commented it. "3 days since you woke up and you are teleporting like a natural. "

"Well then let's move on to psychokinetic ..."before Crowley could finish that sentence he found himself flung across the motel room and stuck on the wall. "Huh" Dean muses so that what that feels like from this side, he could actually feel the pressure surrounding Crowley and if he gives a small push (it's the best way to describe the connection from his mind to Crowley) his can feel his invisible grip tighten.

"Okay squirrel, I get it you have that down too now drop the barrier" Crowley tells Dean, Crowley feels it tighten instead. Dean steps up close to Crowley, eyes completely black "Now why would I do that?" Dean ask smiling

"Because I am the last bit of conscious you have left to guide you so you don't lose yourself completely" Crowley responded no fear in him.

Dean cock his head to the side at Crowley's answer and smirk " You know as well as I do, who I was died in that Warehouse, when Metatron stab me"

"If that were true, you wouldn't have left the bunker for the sole reason of Protecting Sam and I be already in pieces instead of having this conversation with you, as lovely as it is" Crowley came back with. ' No Dean there is still you in there and I do feel the struggle you have about wanting to kill everything in sight for the pure pleasure of it and that part that is still you won't allow it, but it's getting harder isn't it's? It's been a couple of days since you woke up and still no kill right, I can feel the thirst hovering wanting release"

Dean face twitches...Crowley continues "and I just happen to know of a very close by faction, actually getting ready to spring a trap for baby brother, who is hunting clues about you down"

Emotions play across Dean's face but finally he smiles that cocky grin "Well let's go Gank some demons bitches" Crowley drops from the wall, Dean spins around and walks out the motel to the impala outside. Crowley waits a minutes pulls out a handkerchief and pats his forehead "that was bloody close" he mumbles to himself.

Sam parks outside a red brick warehouse factory in "Saginaw, Michigan" he looks down at his notes and confirms this is the place all sightings have confirmed Demon activity in the area.

He takes a deep breath, he has hardly slept this week since Dean's body disappeared, he mentally prepare for the fight ahead because he won't let Dean down this time. He step out the red "Z28 Camaro" he bought with the fake credit card-with his hacking skills, he made sure it was a platinum card, so he wouldn't have problems with the dealership.

As he gets out the car he does one last weapons check- Demon knife, Angel blade hidden inside the left and right side jacket's pockets, Holy water flask outside right jacket's pocket and last his Taurus gleaming in the fading sun light, he slips in the back of his jeans.

As Sam silently approaches the side door to the building he starts to hear sounds, he draws his eyebrows together in concentration, pulls the door open quickly and steps inside, it's a long corridor and the sounds are coming down the right, he walks over quickly pulls the demon blade out as he approaches the end of the corridor the sounds are getting louder, he makes a left turn.

There are a set of double doors at the end of this hallway. He start running to the doors cause he can finally make out the sounds, these are screams he is hearing and to go with it a light show emanating around the edges of the Double doors. Sam runs through the doors without pause in time to see a Demon hanging off the First Blade in midair and the person holding the weapon has his back turn to Sam but there is no mistaking who is standing there..."Dean?" Sam whispers.

Dean pulls out the Blade from the Demon, and the body drops, Dean straighten up, rolls his shoulders back and cracks his neck, he turns around and faces Sam.

Blade in hand, Mark burning bright on his arm, eyes fully black, Sam feel his heart stop, drops to his knees in shock sees the carnage around him 10 dead bodies litter every which way across the warehouse storage floor.

"Hello Sammy", Sam heads snaps up to the nickname this thing called him and the shock is gone, fury reflects in Sam's eyes and he gets up quickly demon blade ready and runs to this mockery of his big brother!

"GET THE HELL OUT OF MY BROTHER YOU ABOMINATION!" Sam Screams with a rage Dean's never seen or heard before, he lunges with the knife and Dean side steps easily out the way.

A smiles tugs at the corner of his mouth, Oh Sam wants to play, well okay Dean thinks let see what the kid's got, for every lunge, thrust, slice, Dean dodges, sides steps, and blocks with ease.

He can't help but grin as he watches Sam gets angrier and flustered. The angrier Sam gets the more his moves are starting to get erratic and sloppy, which is disappointing to Dean.

Rule one in fighting "John" told his boys "never let your emotions get the best of you, keep yourself calm, collected and focus, otherwise you'll leave yourself open to the enemy".

Dean is not even using any Demon powers right now. He's been using his normal human strength with Sam, he could have taken Sam down any time, and he's even left himself open for a perfect kill shot.

Dean sees Sam gets more and more frustrated and is reminded of Sam when he was sparring with Dean and couldn't take Dean down. "Come on Sammy put the pieces together I'm toying with you" Dean is thinking falling back to training strategies' to get Sam to respond and focus, when he doesn't see Sam getting it or thinking. He is just getting more violent. Dean's black eyes flash back to green and looks at Sam sadly he's caught both of Sammy wrist in his hands.

This startles Sam and he jumps back a look of confusion on his face, but quickly snaps out of it and lunges again to Dean, but before he could take a step forward. Dean snaps his finger and Sam is slam up against the nearest wall.

Sam yells in anger, Dean walks up to Sam and stands in front of him then he leans down towards the ground and picks up the demon blade, Sam dropped, he holds it in a downward position, then flicks it upwards. Sam is still yelling and Dean watches him.

"You Son of a Bitch, I am going to rip your lungs out, I am going to tear you apart, limb by limb, and enjoy doing it, I will make you pay in pain for desecrating my brother's body and possessing it, you hell's spawn bitch" Sam hollers.

Dean stops twirling the knife in his hand and snaps his head up toward Sam and walks fast and up close in Sam's space

"Now hold on a minuet, there geek boy, there is only one Dean Winchester...

"Which you're not!" Sam interrupts.

Dean steps back and looks at Sam , he should just leave and not care, but he does, he doesn't know why but he does. He holds out the Demon blade and quirks a smile at Sam.

"So you don't believe it's me, huh Sammy?" Sam Glares at the demon "Okay Sam, let's try this." He flips the demon killing blade towards himself.

"What are you doing?" Sam asks warily...

"Well Sam if I am possess as you think I am, then this should be easy, I stab myself, there should be flickering light show and I die"

Sam stares at this crazy demon trying to see what game it's playing.

"But if I am Dean then this will only make a bloody mess and if I do it right, there a chance that I might survive to get to an ER" it muses.

It holds the blade in the center of it's solar plexus, looks at Sam and smiles and right before he pushes it in, he winks at Sam. Sam feels his whole center being freezes with that one gesture..."Dean?" Sam whispers again but then the demon finishes stabbing himself fully

"NOOOOO" Sam Screams at the last minute, Dean takes two staggering steps back, head down knife fully inserted to the hilt. Sam breath hitches and turns his head away, tears glazing over his eyes threatening to spill over.

"Geeze Sammy make up your mind, you want me dead, you don't want me dead"

Sam quickly turns his face back towards Dean, who is standing there with the demon knife protruding out of his chest and a genuine Dean Winchester grin.

He pulls the knife out and releases his hold on Sam, Sam slides down the wall until he's sitting on his butt and his legs semi pull towards his chest, the palms of his hands fully flat on either side of him on the ground. He looks up at Dean and speaks weakly "what happen to you?"

"I tell you what did NOT" happen to me, I am not some possess vessel" Dean remark

"Dean!"

"What do you want me to tell you Sam, that you probably already figure it out"

Sam swallows "the Mark?"

"Did not let me die" Dean finished

"So now what?" Sam asked

"Nothing, we go our separate way, you go back to the bunker, be a hunter, or a men of letters and archive or hey here's an idea retire and get married and find that apple pie life you wanted so bad and I'll try and stay out of trouble" Dean quips.

Sam has this lost and confuse look on his face "Dean you're not planning on staying like this are you?"

"Well the way I see it ,there is no cure unless A) I find Cain and have him take it back, that's not happening because he wants to die too. B) have you cut me into pieces and bury me like we did Abbadon since I can't die the Mark won't let me. I personally don't like option B so yeah I think I'll keep me just fine" Dean supplied.

"What about the demon cure, we discovered; we can go back to the bunker and try?"

"I already thought about it Sammy, number one I am not risking your life again..."But"...Sam was about to interrupt Dean. Dean held up his hand in a wait motion so Sam pressed his lips and then Dean continued "and number 2 it wouldn't it work".

"How do you know?" Sam ask

"Crowley..."

"Wait you trust Crowley now!" Sam interrupts Dean again.

"No" Dean respond "But he did confirmed; and I check it out. Sam I am not a human being possessed by a demon who's spent a hundred years in Hell getting twisted and corrupted, that's why the human blood injection won't work"

Sam is glaring with lips pressed into a thin line at Dean. Great Dean thinks Sammy angry bitch-face number 5 and in 3, 2, 1...

Sam jumps up from the floor "So what you are just gonna give up!? You are not even going to try!" Sam hollers at Dean.

Dean rolls his eyes at Sam's rant "your just gonna roll over and be Crowley new servant boy!"

"Hey now that was uncalled for!" Dean's own anger flaring.

"And have you thought about the blood lust crave to kill!" Sam continues "the least you can do since you refuse to get the cure, is to come back to bunker and put yourself on Lock down before you hurt innocents!"

Dean had been quiet through all of Sam tirade but now "That's very cute Sammy" Dean shaking his head "you dictating to me" Dean's eyes glitter and then his eyes flash black then to green and then to black and back to green.

Sam forgotten who he was talking to, through his whole spiel, he stumbles backwards and Dean takes two steps towards him.

"You seem to be forgetting whom you are speaking to little brother and think that you know more than me. I told you Sam I researched this already, this past week. If you stopped and think about that plan, you'd see the flaws. You are right about the urge to kill, destroyed lives, but if I lock myself down as you put it, I die."

"But you can't go and kill innocent lives" Sam protested.

I don't plan to, I plan only to kill the baddies Sam, Wendigos, werewolves, vampires, shape-shifters, everything we ever hunted, but now I'll have an advantage. This will keep my blood lust under control." Dean finished.

"So then that's it, you plan to live the rest of your life this way, and let's not forget it's an immortal one. How long Dean to you really think you can hold out like this? Before you give in completely to insanity and can't start telling the difference between right and wrong?" Sam asked.

"Cain went on rampage for what a thousand years, before he even got complete control over the blade and mark?" and that was only cause he got bored and met the right person. Look Dean we got an arsenal of knowledge back in the bunker and we barely scratch the surface, who's to say we won't find something in there? If you just come back with me…" Sam's eyes pleading,

Dean felt something stir inside him and realize it was time to go.

"Sam you can do whatever you want, but me I've accept this and your gonna

"Don't say it" Sam implores

"Have to"

"Stop" Sam yells

"Let me"

"You don't get a right to say it!"

"Go" Dean disappears right after.

Sam collapses to the floor

"Please don't go" Sam whispers in the empty warehouse.

The dead bodies are all gone, Dean had disperse them when he blip out. Sam lays there for about 5 more minutes and starts to get up.

"Okay, okay" he nods his head, "fine, if you don't' care for a cure, then I'll do it. I don't care how long, or what lines I'll cross I will save you Dean, that's a promise." Sam stands tall and determined and walks out the building.

Dean is about to find out he is not the only stubborn Winchester who will go to any lengths to save a brother. As he slams the door shut to his car, put the shift into 4th gear and peals out of there. Two other beings walk out of the building, watching the car speed away.

The female turns to the guy "I don't think this was a good Idea"

They guy replies calmly "As long as you kept us invisible, we were okay".

"I still don't see what purpose does it serve or how it helps our cause" the female replied.

"It will serve a great purpose in saving Dean"

"Saving Dean?! the women yells "he has the Mark of Cain, Castiel, there is no saving him, he tainted himself when he took it on!"

"Yes Hannah, but Dean is still the righteous man and after what I've seen here, his heart still beats." Castiel informs Hannah.

"But barely", she retorts "Sam is right about this how long before his heart caves and his soul and heart turns black too"

"However long it takes we will be here for Dean" Castiel tells Hannah. She sighs but agrees she is starting to learn to trust her instinct (is that what Castiel called it)? She sees Castiel staring after Sam

"What's wrong? She asked.

"I fear Sam is travelling a dark paths" Cas tells her.

"When doesn't that child get's himself in to trouble" Hannah answers, Castiel sighs and agrees. He will monitor Sam activities and wait and see's what happens. Cas realizes Hannah was talking "I'm sorry Hannah what was that?" Castiel asked.

She huffed "I said if it wasn't for the elder brother looking after that boy, he would have gone dark side as Zachariah and Azazel were hoping or he would have died a numerous times while growing up. So I guess that is one thing Heaven and myself can be thankful for Dean Winchester".

"Hannah, might I kiss you?" Castiel asked

"What! Hannah stammers, "Its a celebratory kiss." Castiel tells her.

"For what?" Hannah Ask.

"I think you might have found a way to save both Dean and Sam" Castiel explains.

"Um yes" she replies, Castiel leans down puts his arms around her and kisses her while he swings her around.

"Oh my" she murmurers, this helping the Winchester might not be such a bad idea she thinks. Castiel pulls backs and smiles

"Let's go back" you hear the sounds of wings and they are both gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay re-edit this hope it's better this time around


	3. Chapter 3 Dean needs to step in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean appears and realizes how bad Sam has fallen off the path

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay here is chapter three once again I apologize for my writing style, structure I did type this on Microsoft word and then highlighted it to cut and paste hope this works better. if not truly sorry.

Chapter 3  
1 month later  
Cas appears in the Library Bunker and takes one look around and sees the chaos the place is in. All the books are litter everywhere there are scrolls on table tops on the floors. There is a map of the states hanging haphazardly on the far side right wall with red dots scatter across.  
At the end of the table you see one Sam Winchester face down on the table, one arm on the table and one arm dangling on his side. Cas walks over to him and calls 

“Sam” Sam does not move, Cas looks uncomfortable and reaches out and gently taps Sam on the shoulder and calls out loud again “Sam” Sam barely stirs. Cas sighs and gives a little harder shake “SAM”!

Sam jerks up “I’m up” he says groggily and look still out of it, his hair is in complete disarray, his eyes are rimed dark red, with dark shadows under his eyes and Cas tries not to stare but there is spit hanging from Sam lips drooling down his chin and still connected to the table.

“You have a little uh… Castiel makes a hand movement to Sam’s face.

“What….huh?” Sam responds scrunching his face trying to make sense of who is standing in front of him and what are they saying?

“You have something on your Face” Cas says it more loudly and slower for Sam’s benefit.

“What?” Sam once again response, finally Cas points to his face and Sam reaches up carefully and then he feels it, he quickly jerk his other arm across his face cleaning the dripple with his sleeve

“Sam when was the last time you slept?” Cas asked, Sam looks down at his watch and looks around as if the answer is there somewhere, finally looks back up at Cas.

“uh about 2 hours ago” Sam answers still confused, Cas steps up close and leans in , he’s seen Dean do this a lot when Sam is answering but not all totally there. He pats Sam on the cheek and asks “hey Sam are you with me?”

Sam startles and jerks back almost falling off the chair “Yeah Cas I’m with you, I’m awake” Sam finally looks fully awake and annoyed.” How long you’ve been here?”

“5 minutes” Cas answers.

“I didn’t hear you come in?” Sam says.

“You were asleep on the table when I arrived” Cas mentions.

“Oh I must of crashed” Sam yawns and stretches and looks around once more searching for something and he starts moving papers around the table near him

“Aha” he says as he removes a stack of paper and you see a small 4oz paper cup half filled with black coffee. He eyes it and then gulps it down fast, then makes a face.

“Crap that was awful” he tells Cas, 

“Coffee that is cold always tastes pretty bad” Cas tells Sam.

“That was not coffee that was a double shot espresso” Sam informs Castiel. 

“So what brings you around Cas? Any news on Dean or where he is or did you find something on the Mark?” Sam bombards Castiel with questions.

“We are still researching on the Mark Sam, but as of yet we cannot find anything that can help remove it”. Castiel gives the news to Sam.

“What about Deans’ whereabouts” Sam quickly asks.

“I have been able to keep a track of him, but we have learn to stay a bit far from him as it does makes him a bit aggressive” Castiel cough the last part out.

Sam has walked over to the wall map and looks at Cas expectantly with a red marker in hand.

Castiel sighs “Atlantic City, New Jersey” Sam quickly dots the city on his map. Castiel looks around the place one more times and clears his throat.

“How are you doing Sam?”

“Huh... oh I’m fine” Sam replies with ease, still looking at the map studying it. Sam is wearing dark sweat pants and his gray long sleeve, sleep shirt since the last time   
Cas was here about three weeks ago.

“Okay let me rephrase the question, how much sleep or rests have you gotten in the past week?” Sam looks over his shoulder to Cas and genuinely looks confused,

“I already told you I crashed about 2 hrs. ago” Sam tells him.

“That’s it? You’ve gotten a total of 2hrs of sleep in the past 7 days?” Castiel looked incredulous at Sam.

“Cas it’s not like it’s the first time we’ve burn the midnight oil before researching a difficult case” Sam replies.

“Beside what’s up with the 3rd degree?” Sam asked annoyed. 

“Sam do you recall our agreement, when we first began this 4 weeks ago?” 

“What?”

“I said I was willing to help and lend heaven’s help in researching as we do has an archive of hidden books on lore, magic and spells. But only if you do not become obsessive or in danger your health in any way” Castiel reminds Sam.

“Yes, I know and in 4 weeks Cas with a handful of Angels at your disposal, you and them can’t even find a spell to bind/ trap Dean at least even if you cannot remove the Mark” Sam seethe. “So forgive me if I not going to sit on my ass and wait around to see when and if your kind find something that will help me get my brother back” Sam concludes.

Sam starts ruffling thru papers on the desk and pulls out and a hand full and shoves them to Castiel.   
“See this is what I’ve found at least to get Dean here and secure” Sam looks at Cas expectantly.

Castiel looks through paper work, knowing in his heart that he is only doing this to humor Sam and to make sure, he isn’t doing something stupid. Which of course he is, He looks up at Sam eyebrows raise.

“Sam, we’ve discuss this before” Cas begins “You can’t summon Dean and trap him in a devil trap”

“Why not” Sam asked sullenly 

“Because the 1st time we tried, Dean tore the roof off that warehouse remember and even then I told you it would not work. He only came to humor you; he easily could have fought the pull.” Castiel reminded Sam “and even if you manage to trap your brother in what seems a new type of Devil Trap you discovered” Castiel tilts his head, “how do you plan on quenching his bloodlust? Trapping him will only give you less than a week to cure Dean, otherwise he will die permanently.”

“I can’t believe I’m hearing this, you are perfectly all right allowing Dean to roam out there, causing mayhem and destruction and possibly hurt innocent bystanders” Sam yells in frustration.

“Sam we have been keeping a very close eye on your brother and Dean is yet to a kill or hurt a human life” If anything he is abstaining from killing if he can, and if the call is too great he find a werewolf, or a skin walker or even Demon factions to quench the need to kill”

“The key word here is “yet” Cas and if you think I am going to wait for that…Sam gets interrupted when we hear a flutter of wings and a girl is standing next to Castiel. She glances over to Sam and leans in a bit closer to Castiel.

“Um we have a small problem” she whisper to Cas, Sam watched them warily

“Hannah I’ve said if any news good or bad to please wait until I returned” Cas is also watching Sam.

“Yeah but this time it couldn’t wait” She tells Cas urgently “We need to go now, because something we’ve been fearing might just come to pass”

Sam looks at both angels now eyes narrowing picking up on clues “wait does this has to do with Dean?” Castiel looks at Hannah and she gives Cas a look that says, they need to discuss this elsewhere.

“Sam I am sorry but we need to go I will contact you once I’ve concluded this”

“No, no, no you tell me now does this has to with Dean” Sam look a little bit more forceful but desperate, knowing that both angels could just blip out and not answer. Hannah takes pity on him and answers

“I’m sorry Sam but your brother is being hunted by your own kind”

The look on Sam face as realization sinks in “Hunters” Sam Whispers.

“We will take care of it Sam” Castiel assures him, Sam look like he was about to argue and thought better of it and just shook his head 

“All right Cas” Sam concedes, Cas looks at Sam and nods before he disappears.

The moment he does, Sam quickly walks over to the map and see the point distance from Kansas to New Jersey, hmmm 1,403.4 miles in current traffic he looks at his watch about 21hr 9 min, if he pushes it he can make it in about 18hrs, 15 if he doesn’t sleep or stop. He walks over to the what used to be Dean’s private desk and reaches in the lower drawer and pulls out a bottle of pills still full as Dean rarely used them only in emergency- the label said “Alert” informing the consumer “need that extra energy to stay awake”. Sam remembers lecturing Dean on them and Dean assuring his little brother not to worry, he is not addicted to them nor does he plan on using them unless it’s in extreme cases. Dean loved his coffee and whiskey more than the pills. Sam reads the label do not consume no more than 4 tablets within 24hrs. He drops 4 tablets in his hands and pops them in his mouth picks up the half bottle of water on one of the table and gulps back. Okay he has a brother to catch up to. He walks down the hall way quickly to gets dress and pack. 5 minutes later you see Sam walking outside the bunker duffle in tow, keys in hand and unlocking the Red Camaro that is currently his. Sam has this fierce determine look on his face that he has not shown since hunting down the Trickster (aka Gabriel). He will give the hunting community one warning and warning only. Whatever happens after that, it falls on them. Sam guns the engine and hits the gas. 

3 month later:

Sam stumbles into the motel he just check in, his right arm is in a sling there is a bruise on his upper left cheek. He drops his green jacket by the door which was hanging half off anyways, does not bother to pick it up. He groans as he flumps on the bed staring at the ceiling. 20 winks he tells himself then he’ll be back on the road to the bunker and start mixing up the ingredient together. He finally got the last ingredient took a little longer as he did not want to really hurt the person and left them at the hospital once he was done and made sure they were attended to right away. He sigh, this had to work according to his research in the catacombs he broke into 3 weeks ago, he was so exhausted once this was over he can rest. He closed his eyes and gave a loud sigh.

He was unaware that there was someone in the room with him, sitting in the corner in the shadows watching him, arms crossed lean back legs crossed, he tsked and shook his head side to side. He uncrossed his legs and stood up and walked over to Sam sleeping form and stood in front of him. Anger curled in his stomach watching Sam, waiting for some reaction from the kid “comes on” he yelled in his head. Finally some stirring and in 3,2,1 Sam’s face and body finally tense up, finally the intuition, sixth sense their dad drilled into them to listen to, kick in, then Sam snap his eyes open and sprang into action. He knew / felt someone standing in front of him, so Sam instinctively knew to drop down and swipe the legs from the person, unfortunately so did the being and side stepped Sam’s move, which mad Sam lose his balance and drop completely flat on his stomach. Before he could roll over and jump back the being slammed him back down and held him there twisting his good arm behind his back and held him there. Sam fought to toss him off to no avail, he lean down and whisper low “hold still”  
Sam froze at the deep gravelly voice he heard behind him.

“Since the moment you walked in you were easy prey, you didn’t bother to double lock the door, drop your jacket with your only weapon hidden inside on the floor. Left the window curtains open slightly, exposing yourself and the room” he then flips Sam over to face him.

Sam stare at two angry green eyes, lips set in a tight line and jaw muscle tightening.

“Dean?”

“Well it isn’t the tooth fairy…oh and if it was, she’d already taken all 32 of your teeth” Dean replied a bit angrily.  
Sam was getting piss off too, he tried to flip them around like before, but this time Dean held him down firm and caught his leg.

“Nu uh, not this time tiger” Dean mocked him.

“Get off me! What are you doing here?!” Sam yelled

“Might ask you the same question” Dean replied.

Dean realized Sam face was pinched in pain and thought maybe lying on the floor with a dislocated shoulder was not the best place to be. He quickly gets Sam off the floor and helps him sit down on the bed. He stands back up and looks down at Sam. He cocks his head to the side and really, really looks at Sam and his eyes narrow. 

Sam hair which is usually looks silky and soft is hanging limply; his face is riddle with some old fading cuts, plus new ones and new and old bruises. His eyes are completely dark smudges, but his pupil look like they’ve been blown, he has a really bad scruffy beard and he lost a ton of weight. Its’ been 4 month since the last time he’s seen Sam and the kid deteriorated to a freaking scarecrow, screw that scarecrows have more stuffing than he does right now.

“Sam I am only going to ask you once, and you better answer truthfully or there will be consequences, What have you’ve been up and doing, today specifically ” Dean voice is low but authoritative and firm. Sam looks up at Dean Notices his piercing green eyes staring directly at him, arms crossed, stance tall.

Why does this look and feel vaguely familiar and he can feel himself automatically starting to squirm under that gaze….and then it hits him and just “no” no way. He’s 31 not some 8yr.old snot nose kid afraid, cause he got caught doing something he’s not supposed to. And where’s does Dean gets off acting all high and mighty he’s the one with the mark and turned Demon, and who disappeared for 4 months!

“I’m waiting Sam” Dean no nonsense voice. Sam’s eyes narrow and feels his anger surging.

“Really Dean, I’m waiting” Sam Seethes thru gritted teeth and he be damn if Dean was going to make him feel small. Sam stood up his full 6”4 and got in Dean Personal space. “You Don’t get the right…” before Sam could finish his sentence, dark spots started dancing before his eyes and the room began to spin, he could feel his legs trembling with the sheer weight of wanting to buckle under him. Damn it he stood up too fast and he has been up for 72 hours straight. Not to mention these past month sleeping an hour here and there. He locks his knees to keep from falling down, not now, he’d be damn if he gives Dean the satisfaction to see him weak. 

He felt his body sway, great lock knees not working Sam thinks and he feel beads of perspiration's on his forehead forming.  
“Sammy?” Dean voiced concern. Sam looks back to Dean, huh... when did he look away? He’s hunched over, starting to make swallowing noises, knowing what coming up and wants to badly run to the bathroom, but if he does, if he even attempts to move he will fall flat on his face. He can feel his whole body start to tremble because he refuses to unlock his knees.

Sam feels strong arms encircling his waist and looks over to Dean holding him. Green eyes staring at him in what looks like shock? “Sam when was the last time you ate?” Dean asked.

“Oh god Dean not now” Sam voice quavers, “I need….please…” Sam looks to the bathroom, Dean gets its’ and starts to help Sam, but the moment Sam takes a step, that was all she wrote, his legs folded and he felt the bile in his throat lurched, he lock his jaw in hoping to keep in but it spilled thru his lip down his chin, shirt front then the floor. Once the first wave hit and escaped Sam knew there was no stopping the flow that was coming up fast now. He felt shock and embarrassed and braced himself for the mess he was about to make, then magically he saw a trash can appear in front of him, and he felt himself being lower to it.

“It’s all right Sammy, I gotcha” Dean Voice whisper close to his ear. Sam heaved everything which was not much in to the trash can, it was more bile and acid than anything, his stomach muscle cramping really bad because he started to dry heaved. Oh God make it stop he thought, but it just kept coming with a pounding headache to boot. Sweat and tears trickle down his face and to make it much worse since he was heaving strongly his nose decide to add to his misery as it began to leak too and join the tears and sweat.. Great after 4 long months of researching, collecting, and looking for his brother, now Dean shows up and he is a complete mess. HE finally stops and his sags completely against Dean, he tries to pull away, but feels Dean gently but firmly hold him not allowing him to move. One arm encircling him still the other on his back rubbing circle and he wants to cave in to the soothing movement, but he feels disgusted with himself covered in his own mess.

“M’okay Dean just help me up” Sam mumbles at the same time he swipes his arm across his face to cleanup some of the vomit, spit and snot. Which now he feels he’s smeared a bit more, he hangs his head down in shame and embarrassment, wanting to hide. 

“Kid you are far from all right” Dean answers. 

“I just need to cleanup, just help me walk to the bathroom I’ll do the rest” Sam tells Dean, Dean sighs knowing Sam pride and dignity was talking more than his calm and rationalize side.

“okay Sam at the count of three, 1, 2, 3” Dean tighten his hold on Sam with his arm around his waist as Sam attempts to push up with his legs. Christ! It was seeing a new born colt trying to stands on his legs and failing miserably. Dean tugs up trying to give Sam the benefit of the doubt, but his legs will not hold him up. Sam’s legs literally are folded under him and Dean is holding Sam up by his waist, which he is actually trying to push away from him and seriously force his legs to unfold, to stand up not just lag there. Dean can feel the tremors run thru Sam’s body with the intense effort Sam is doing.  
That’s it! Dean grips him tighter and with his other arm he swoop it under Sam legs and lifts him up bridal style and braces himself for what he know what is coming next.

“DEAN!” Sam yelps “What are you doing??!!” With his right arm in the sling he uses his left arm to push against Dean. “Stop, Put me down!” Sam struggles

Dean sighs at Sam attempt to get down, he pushes, hits, bucks and squirms in Dean’s arms “Sammy, hold still” Dean Growls’ he walks quickly to the bathroom. 

“No, please Dean, down” Sam whines, crap he sounds like a toddler wanting down, his struggling growing weak. Dean marches to the bathroom door, it opens before him, he walks in, stops at the sinks pickup one of the wash clothes turns on the faucet sink waits for it to get warm, holds the cloth under the stream and with one hand wrings out the excessive water and leaves it damp enough, while still holding Sammy in his arm against him, Dean does this with such ease, it’s stirs a memory and a feelings for him.

He walks over to the toilet and gently sets Sam down on it, Sam stiffens at the immediate loss of contact, he shakes his head from this feeling not knowing why he reacted like he was vulnerable when Dean put him down, but immediately realizes what Dean is doing and tries to stop him.   
Dean has tilted Sam’s face up and placed the wash cloth on his forehead, Sam reached up with his hand to take the cloth away “Dean I can do it my….” The words die on Sam’s lips and he drops his hand back down in his lap. Dean was looking at him, no not just looking at him but giving him “the look” after 18 years of Dean raising him, it left its mark, that it was just an automatic reaction from Sam when Dean gave him that look, stay quiet and behave.

“Good” Dean said automatically after Sam settle down, he began to scrub gently his forehead then down the side of his face stopping and folding the cloth to get a clean square each time he clear a spot on Sam’s face. By the time gets to Sam’s lower face area he goes to the sink again, rinse the cloth with hot water and, wrings it clean one more time goes back to Sam and starts to clean the spit and vomit from Sam lips and chin, he does Sam’s neck last. Dean stand back and looks at Sam flannel and shirt well can’t clean that. 

“Well looks like we need to change your shirt, where’s your duffel bag Sam?”

“Hmmm? Sam replies blinking his eyes at Dean, Crap kid getting tired Dean thought, no he takes that back, kid’s been tired for the past god knows how long now.

“Your bag Sammy” Dean asked again louder.

“Car” Sam replies, Dean runs his hand down his face, “you left your bag in the car with your weapons?”

“No, clothes in bag, weapons in trunk” Sam frowns with a pouts.

“You mean to tell me you walked in to this room weaponless?!” Dean looked at Sam incredulous.

“No, I have two weapons on me, my gun and the Demon knife” Sam tells Dean.

“Where?”

“Uh” Sam scrunches up his face thinking, looks down at himself, thinking they’ll appear there. “Oh” Sam brightens “they’re in my jacket.”

“Your Jacket” Dean looks at Sam, “the jacket you drop on the floor by the main door?” Sam nods tiredly; he’s so tired he just wants to go to bed.

“Christ Kid! Are you trying to piss me off” Dean runs his hand thru his hair, Sam jerk back at Dean voice and looks up, his hazel eyes glazing over with tears.

“M’sorry De’n” Sam voice quavers, crap Sam must be finally mentally exhausted to have revert back to 5 year old Sammy Dean thinks.

“Nah it’s okay Sammy, I just want you to be safe” Dean tells Sam in a calm voice. Sam nods his head “M ’tired De’n” Sam yawns.

“Yeah I know kid” Dean looks down at Sam one more time and thinks if he teleports to the car back and forth he knows Sam will fall flat on his face. Dean looks around the small bathroom and thinks Sam needs a clean room and soft bed, not to mention clean clothes to change into. Dean nods and knows what he has to do. 

He stands on Sam left side and reaches down again, places Sam left arm around his neck and lift him up gently cradling him against his chest. Dean frowns at the weightlessness of Sam, he knows Sam is a full 3 inches taller than him and should be weighing a 220+ pounds of muscle. He would be using his demon powers to carry Sam if he did weigh that, but right now Sam weigh nothing, Dam kid what have you done to yourself, Dean thinks.  
Sam still protest a little when he feels himself being pick up again but does not have the strength to fight it this time just rest against Dean chest. Dean carades his hand thru Sam limp hair “Shhh Baby, it’s okay we are going home” Dean tells a sleepy Sam, Dean stands in the middle of the motel room, pulls Sammy close to him and….blip…. Dean is in the bunker in his room.

His room looks exactly the way he left it untouched hmmm that won’t do he walks with Sam in his arm to his closet and the doors open up automatically, he step back as clean set of sheets and blanket with comforter come out he looks at the bed and the bed strips itself off the old set. The new sheets were fix on, pillows fluffed out, Dean walked over and gently laid Sam down on his memory foam bed face up. He walk back to his closet and look in one of the bottom shelves and pulls out a x-large navy blue sweatshirt and white t-shirt that was Sam. Dean learned since a long time ago to always keep an extra set of clothes for Sam with his stuff, cause ya never know. He walked back to Sam, who was already laying curled on his side. Dean smile down at Sam then breathing out knowing what he had to do. “Okay Sasquatch, let’s sit you and get that dirty shirt off ya” Dean tells a sleepy Sam.  
Dean sits down next to Sam, slips his arm under Sam’s shoulders and sits him up. Sam’s head lolled to the side then dips down “okay” Dean says softly and realizes Sam has finally crashed and was out for the count, hmmm no problem Dean mused it’s not the first time he has to undress and dressed conked out Sam. He gently pulls the red flannel off Sam’s left arm then stops at the right arm with the sling. He un-latches the sling carefully and pulls it off, Sam stirs a bit, “Shh, shhh, shhh” Dean softly soothes Sam and continues to remove the rest of the flannel. Next came the soiled shirt Sam is wearing. He lean Sam’s head on his shoulder, Dean leans back a bit, so that Sam can lean forward and not roll off, he reaches down to the hem of Sam’s shirt and pulls up.

Once he gets the shirt half way up almost to his armpit, he lift Sam’s left arm up and gently pulls it out the short arm sleeve, then does the same but more carefully with the injured arm. Okay that was the easy part Dean thinks now comes the fun part. He places his hand behind Sam’s back and gently starts to lower Sam down again on the pillow. He grabs the rest of the shirt bunched around Sam’s neck, stretches it as much as he can and pulls it over Sam’s head carefully. Great he still got it Sam didn't even stir this time. He drops the soiled shirt to the floor. Grabs the clean shirt and repeats the process, but this time putting it on. Bunches up the shirt stretches the collar and pulls it over Sam head, pulls his arms thru. Dean decides to leave Sam in just his shirt since he’ll be covered up with a blanket and a comforter…Dean gets up and he goes to Sam feet he takes of the boots he is wearing, then pulls of his jeans. Sam is now laying in just his t-shirt and boxers. Sam starts to curl again to his side indicating he is cold. Dean picks up the sheet pulls it over Sam, then the blanket, then finally the comforter. He tucks it around Sam’s shoulder and under his chin. He carades his fingers thru Sam limp greasy hair. Geeze Kid we are going to be having one seriously long talk once you wake up, Dean thinks, before he can think about he leans down and places a kiss to Sam’s temple, Sam actually smile in his sleep and makes a cute gurgle sound as he snuggle closer into the blankets. 

Something warms spread throughout Dean’s chest and heart and Dean finds himself chuckling and smiling for the first time since this whole mess began. And before he can sit down next to Sam, he hears a flutter of wings.

“What do you want Cas?”

“We need to talk”

“Can’t it wait?”

“No” Cas replies” this has to do with Sam and you especially now that I seen that we can save you and at the same time heal Sam.” Castiel intones. 

“So start talking” Dean tells Cas

“Not here, we should talk in the library and witness yourself, how far Sam fallen off the path”

Dean looks at Sam hesitantly, not wanting to leave him alone.

“He will not waken Dean, Sam has not been fully sleeping in the past 4month, his body has finally cave to exhaustion, but if you still fear him waking, you and I can easily hear him” Cas is hinting at his Angel’s grace and Dean new powers.

“Yeah, you’re right” Dean stand up and rubs the back of his neck “Come on”

Angel and Demon walk out of the room down the hallway and into the library.

Dean freezes in his tracks and looks in shock at the library. “What the hell happen here?!”

“Sam happened here” Cas replies.


	4. Chapter 4 Stage one - Baby Brother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean sets up Stage one of his plan for his unsuspecting little brother.  
> Sam does not understand what is going on with Dean, but is happy Dean is back in the bunker. Thinking this will play into Sam's plan to save Dean. Dean has other ideas...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for being patient and sticking by this story, which started off as just a prompt but has escalated to a chapter story. Because of all the wonderful comments.  
> Okay I have a surprise for all of you, I got a Beta reader. Her name is cacoethes_scribendi, she offer to graciously look over my story and correct all the grammar mistakes and structure I have.  
> So big round of applause for Miss. cacoethes_scribendi she too is currently working on her own story, but still took the time out to help me. YAY!

Chapter 4: Baby Brother:

Sam awakens feeling rested, warm and very comfortable. His eyes snap open “this can’t be right” he thinks immediately. He sits up fast, “oh shit” he thinks “was I knocked out?” He looks around trying to get his bearings. For a moment he is confused, the last thing he remembers is checking into that ratty motel to rest for 1 or 2 hours before heading out again. It takes him a moment to register that he is in Dean’s room back in the bunker. “How did I get here?” he wonders. Suddenly it comes rushing back to him, “Dean” he thinks. He flips the covers off and is about to stand up when he feels a hand on his chest. He looks up, “Dean!” he exclaims.

“Whoa, whoa easy there Tiger” Dean tells Sam “you’re not fully recovered.”

Sam looks at Dean, he feels confused and hesitant “how long have I’ve been out?” he asks. “12hours.” Dean informs him.

“What! That can’t be right, oh god my stuff!” Sam splutters, trying to get up but is held in place by Dean. “Dean let go!” he shouts.

“Sam, calm down, take a deep breath and exhale” Dean instructs.

Sam calms down ready to listen, but is still a bit restless. He needs the ingredients left locked in the trunk of his car. The first cycle of the full moon should be tonight. If what Dean tells him is accurate, he fell asleep at 11pm so it must be around noon. There is still much to plan but it seems, for the first time, that luck is on his side. If Dean is here, he doesn’t need to summon him, he just needs to find a way to keep him here a bit longer. “Wait what is Dean doing here?” Sam wonders looking up at his brother with eyes full of question. 

Dean looks at his little brother and can almost hear the wheels turning in his head along with the questions that are probably bubbling away. He wants to handle this carefully. After hearing the detailed report from Cas and Hannah last night he knows this is his fault and his responsibility to fix. The last 12hours have been easy and surprisingly relaxing, something he hasn’t felt since waking up with the Mark on his arm. He still feels the burn but not as much as he did, it feels duller now. For the first time he feels fully in control instead of the other way around.

Dean runs his hand over the back of his neck while moving to sit on the chair next to the bed. He pauses for a minute and then speaks “I know you are bursting with questions, so first of all, your car is here. I put it in the downstairs garage. Sam is about to speak, but Dean continues. “Wait for me to finish. The answer to your next question is –yes, I know about the ingredients you’ve been collecting these past 2 weeks. The next answer is –No you are not performing your little ritual tonight. In fact any other night for that matter” Dean’s voice takes on a tinge of anger “What the hell have you been up to Sam?!”

Sam’s eyes narrow into angry slits “what the hell have I’ve been doing?” Sam matches the anger in Dean’s voice. “I have been trying to save your ass Dean!!!” Sam yells “or did you forget that you are a Demon? For months I’ve been researching how best to remove the Mark without killing you. Now that I’m close you want me to stop?! No Dean. Whether you want me to or not I am saving you” Sam concludes.

“Are you finished?” Dean asks calmly, as Sam looks at Dean suspiciously. “Now here’s how it’s going to be Sammy. You are not getting out of bed until you are fully recovered and you’ve put some weight back on. You are not allowed any reading material unless approved by me first. You are not allowed to step foot in the library since you showed complete disrespect by almost destroying it. You are not allowed to wander the bunker alone under any circumstance. You will get a full 8 hours of sleep every night and a 2 hour nap in the early afternoon. Do you understand?” Dean finishes. 

“Okay here it comes”, Dean thinks “bitch-face number 1.” He’s not seen it since Sam’s teen years. Sam does not disappoint.

“Not allowed?! Where do you get off telling me what to do? In case you’ve forgotten Dean I’m not a child anymore and we are not living in motel rooms while dad is away! I am a fully grown man capable of making my own decisions” Sam is yelling by the end kneeling on the bed face to face with Dean. 

“Now if, you’ll excuse me” Sam attempts to get off the bed but Dean’s hand shoots out and grabs Sam’s arm.

“Adult? See that’s where you are wrong Sammy” Dean replies his facial expression has Sam’s stomach curling and makes him feel a bit nervous. “You’ve proven that you cannot be left alone to take care of yourself. You neglect to follow the basic standards of care and hunting, endangering not only yourself but others as well. In doing so you have given up all privileges as an adult, little boy.” As Dean finishes his sentence his eyes flash black then back to green.

Sam realizes his predicament and tries to pull out of Dean’s grasp. “Dean let go” he yells, pulling and twisting. Dean sighs realizing there is only one way ahead and knows that Sam will most likely fight him tooth and nail about it. However, Cas is right. Deep down he knows this is the only way. Sam has to relinquish his stubborn independence and let Dean take care of him. 

As he watches Sam struggle to get loose he sees what Castiel meant about Sam’s aura/soul essence with his new demon eyes power. Dean does not need to use them since he’s always known Sam’s heart. He’s a big kid at heart which explains the use of his big puppy dog eyes to get his way, the little bit of clinginess when sick or injured and his need of his big brother for comfort when scared, lost or hurt. 

Right now it’s Sammy not Sam trying to get loose by throwing a tantrum because he is tired, hungry and hurting. “Time to put a stop to this and get back to what I do best. Taking care of Sam” Dean thinks. He takes a deep breath and instantly feels calm and peace in a way he hasn’t since Sam left for college. “So let’s start stage one” Dean thinks. ”Get Sam changed and comfortable, and explain his new role.”

“Sam stop it right now’ Dean’s voice is stern but calm. Sam, who has been struggling and working himself up to frenzy, freezes and looks at Dean.

“Good” Dean praises, Sam face flushes a shade red when he realizes what he’s done. Damn it why does he still react to Dean’s voice! 

“Now let’s start again” as Dean speaks he reaches over to Sam and puts one arm around his shoulder and the other under his knees to lift him up in one swift motion. When Sam feels himself being lifted into the air he lets out a yelp and grabs on before he can lose his balance. “Not again” Sam thinks.

“Dean, you don’t need to pick me up I can walk just fine now” Sam says softly.

“Oh really Sam? Let’s see, you’ve lost more than 50lbs, you’ve hardly slept in 4 months. Last night was the first time you allowed your body to sleep for 24 hours. I’m pretty sure that if you try standing on those sticks you call legs right now there will be a repeat performance of last night.” Dean huffs out to Sam as he starts walking out of the room and down the hallway.

“Where are we going?” Sam asks. “Dude you stink, where do you think we’re going” Dean smirks causing Sam to redden. They walk into one of the larger bathrooms which has a large enough bathtub for Sam to fit his ginormous ass in. The tub is already filled, steam vapor curling up in the air. Dean walks over to the bench and sets Sam down on it. He reaches for the hem of the shirt Sam is wearing and Sam jerks in response to the touch. 

“Dean what are you doing?” he questions. Getting you ready for a bath” is the response. “Dean I get why no shower, you’re afraid I’ll fall flat on my face, but dude I can handle taking a bath” Sam argues.

Dean shakes his head “you don’t get it Sam, from this point on I’m in charge and you will do as I say” He quickly removes Sam’s white T before he can protest but when he goes to remove his boxers that Sam really throws a fit. 

“Dean! wait…don’t…hey Stop!!” Sam pushes against Dean’s chest to no avail, blushing profusely he realizes he’s sitting butt naked on the seat. He crouches over himself, crosses his arms in an attempt to cover up.

“Dude you’ve got nothing I ain’t never seen before” Dean scoffs as he places his hands under Sam. He picks him up and sits him on his hips before walking over to the tub and lowering Sam in.

Sam is beyond pissed off and embarrassed by Dean’s blasé attitude.“Gee thanks for the help” he says sarcastically “do you mind giving me some privacy now or do you plan on staying and helping me wash up too?”

“Yes” Dean responds matter-of-factly and proceeds to pick up the cup that he had already set on the side to scoop up some water. 

“Wait…what?!” Sam’s splutters as water falls on his head. “Dean Stop!” he tries to grab Dean’s hands or swat them away, as Dean rinses his hair again.

“Sam stop, you’re splashing water all over the place” Dean tells him sternly.

“I’m splashing water?!” Sam voice incredulous “that’s it! What the fuck is going on with you Dean?” 

‘Sam I promise that once I’m finished here I’ll explain exactly what is going on here. Besides, it’s not like this is the first time I’ve seen you naked or bathed you” says Dean. “Yeah, last time was when I was 7!” Sam argues. “Dude you were 10 and I still bathe you on occasion when you’re hurt or injured.” Dean reminds him.

“Yeah but that is different man” Sam replies with a sulk.

“Not really Sam, look just relax and sit back okay?” 

Sam looks at Dean for a moment, then with a bit of hesitation, he relaxes and lets his head fall back like he’s done countless dozen times in the past. Dean smiles and continues to wash and rinse Sam’s hair, carefully not getting water or shampoo into Sam’s eyes.

Sam is surprised that Dean knows what brand of conditioner he uses. It feels odd as Dean massages his scalp. It’s very relaxing and lulls him into a sense of déjà vu and begins to stir up warm memories of a time long forgotten and taken for granted whilst growing up. 

When Dean is done, he reaches for the wash cloth. As he lathers it up Sam reaches for Dean’s hand and speaks softly “I can do the rest myself and if you are afraid I’ll fall in, you can stay here and watch. It will be totally creepy, but you can check that I don’t drown while I wash” Sam smiles, a really genuine smile that reaches his eyes.

“Sam I’ve already told you, I’m giving you a bath, so just stop fussing and relax dude.”

“Why?” Sam looks confused.

“Because I want to and because you need it” Dean tells him.

“What are you talking about? Dean I’m fine.”

“Sammy, please just let me finish.” 

Sam looks at Dean biting his lower lip and finally huffs and sits back again. “Fine, but on one condition, I do the lower half. Okay?” Sam is glaring slightly and Dean smiles and concedes this time since he knows that Sam is unaware of the up-coming long haul. He also does not want to upset Sam, he’s really thin, weak and in fragile health. He needs to get the kid dry, warmly dressed and fed before they have their chat. He extends his hand to Sam who finally allows him to carefully scrub his neck, down his shoulders and right arm. Sam inhales, ready for the possible twitch of pain due to the previous night’s dislocated shoulder, thanks to a hunter. When he feels no pain he looks up at Dean. Dean can already guess that Sam is aware that his shoulder doesn’t hurt anymore. He continues to wash Sam’s arms. “I healed it” he explains. He does Sam chest and abdomen then stops as promised.

“You what?” Sam finally asks.

“I healed it”

“I thought Demons didn’t have the ability to heal?” 

“Apparently they do, they just don’t like to expend energy on that when it’s so much easier to torture and destroy life” Dean explains. 

He makes Sam turn around and starts scrubbing down his back and stops before going down further. He rinses Sam off before rinsing the wash cloth and giving it to Sam. Sam makes quick work of washing his legs and private parts. Dean switches the dirty sudsy water to clean clear water again which impresses Sam. He puts his hands either side of the tub holding on to the sides and takes a deep breath as he leans lowering himself all the way underwater. When he pulls up his hair is completely slicked back and water droplets run down his face. A big white terry towel is hung in front of him and he sees Dean holding it up for him and extending his other hand to Sam. Out of habit Sam grabs Dean’s hand and pulls himself up. Dean automatically wraps the towel around Sam’s shoulders and holds onto him as Sam steps out of the tub. They walk the few steps to the seat. Sam plops down, the large bath towel hangs down to his calves he is grateful for the warmth it gives. He looks up as he feels another towel being wrapped around his head. Dean dries Sam’s hair gently and Sam is actually enjoying this moment, giving in and sighing. Dean Chuckles lightly. 

Sam scrunches his face and tells Dean that it’s better to use a blow dryer for his hair to dry properly. He pauses looking down and back up to Dean “but I lost it some time ago in my room” he explains rather mournfully.

“You mean this one?” Dean says as he holds out a dark red hand held dryer.

“Where did you find it?” Sam exclaims.

“I was in your room last night and let me tell you it was not easy” Dean chuckles.

Sam looks ashamed “I know.”

“It looks like World War Three happened in there and you lost.” Dean quips, ”but” he looks over at the clock in the wall, “with Cas’ help we were able to get it cleaned up and remodeled. By now I’m pretty sure Hannah has finished the last touches” Dean tells Sam.

“Whoa wait what do you mean remolded?” Sam asks.

“Sam the room looked like a wreck and besides doing a quick fix it I thought we would add some color to your dismal grey wall.” Dean smiles, “the angels might have gotten bit carried away, but it’s really nice and comfortable.”

“Oh god Dean what did they do?”

“Wait till you see it but for now, you need to get dressed and eat something” Dean tells Sam.

Dean hands Sam his clothes, some grey sweats, navy blue shirt and his red hoodie. With Dean’s help Sam finishes getting dressed.

“Let’s head over to the Den and get something inside you” Dean states.

“What Den?” Sam actually quirks a smile “last thing I remember I was doing some Mojo in there and it didn’t exactly go as planned. I had to do a containment field to hold whatever I let loose in there and promise to get back to it later” Sam finished.

“Yeah I found it or should I say it found me” Dean deadpanned to Sam’s amused face.

“Next time you want a live eating, walking plant, rent a movie to watch. Took me and Cas to kill it.” Sam let out a laugh “It’s not funny Sammy, you are in a lot of trouble for almost destroying the bunker” Dean intones “but the den, library and kitchen are back to normal.” Dean finishes.

He comes up behind Sam and throws him over his shoulder in a fire man’s lift. 

“DEAN!” but Sam is not mad this time he is laughing and Dean grins as he teleports form the bathroom to the den.

“Wow never going to get tired of seeing you do that” says Sam. Dean sits him down in the comfortable arm chair. There is a steaming bowl of broth and a French bread loaf next to it on the table. For the first time in a while Sam’s stomach growls loudly and his mouth waters at the simple sight.

“Thought you should start off with something easy on your stomach” Dean tells Sam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I am working on Chapter 5 now and hope fully in one week we will have it up.  
> Thank you all again for your support and love.


	5. Chapter 5 stage 2 baby brother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean starts stage 2 for Sammy's new role.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank my kind beta writer who has help me improve this and keep going.
> 
> Still trying to figure where I am going with this... I am trying to finish cause I have another story playing in the back of my head. I really want to write a lot of Baby Sam stories which I believe there are not enough of. I am hoping to start a movement to fix this?  
> Well wish me luck I hope I inspire writers to read and hopefully join me in my crusade.
> 
> Once Again i want to thank you all for your support and love that keeps me going.

Chapter 5 Stage Two Baby Brother:

Sam struggles as he walks and leans against the hallway for support on the way to his bedroom. He can’t believe Dean would even do what he has, it pisses Sam off beyond belief. He has to remind himself it isn’t Dean, or rather it is but not 100% Dean. The ‘twisted soul’ black eyed version of his brother was not the caring, loving, smirking, wise ass cracking big brother that he remembers. If it was him then this topic would never had been broached, maybe in jest, but not like this. It hurts Sam and makes him feel so, so….. “God damn it” he says out loud. He’s so pissed off that he can’t even think of the word to express how he’s feeling, both now and when Dean explained the house rules and his new role to him. “Explained” Sam scoffs, more like told him. 

He had had no say and would not be going anywhere, no correction; he would not be allowed to go anywhere. Sam wanted to feel the anger surge again at that last thought but he was just so tired right now, that last blow out with his brother had worn him out. 

It had been such a nice afternoon with Dean, why did he have to ruin it. “No” he thought “not with Dean.” He was just lulled into thinking that it was with the familiar camaraderie they’d shared. He was so happy with the laughing and joking, and he’d missed Dean so much, that he gotten misty eyed and told him. It was a moment so normal, so “them”. It was an unspoken rule that he was allowed to have, as Dean deemed them, “chick flick moments”. Dean was supposed to reciprocate without question and then break the chick flick infused moment with a jest or joke or a good natured ribbing. Not, …not …Sam takes a deep breath not wanting to remember what Dean did instead……

\---Flash back---  
Sam took a sip of the broth and relished the taste on his tongue. Even though it was such a simple meal it was made by Dean for him. In his mind and heart that equaled love. He picked up one of the bread pieces that had been already sliced for him to dip into the broth. This type of perfect moment had been missing these past four months and it gave Sam hope for the future. This proved to him that his big brother was in there and that it was possible to break through the mark of Cain. Maybe as soon as he got some strength back he could convince Dean to go through the new blood trial he'd discovered. It was tricky process of summoning the original bearer, Cain, and tricking him to take the mark back. He'd miss the full moon tonight but there would be another one in 4 weeks. He was pretty sure that Dean wouldn't leave any time soon, not while Sam was not feeling well. If Dean was in what Sam deemed his mother hen mode, then he’d play it to his advantage.

Dean watched Sam as he ate his soup, he could hear the kid’s thoughts too. He looked down as he shook his head. Dean needed to stop him in his tracks before he even started. He was trying to think the best way to approach this when Sam provided the perfect opening.

“Hey kid, what’s up?” Dean asked as Sam looked up at him and smiled.

“Nothing's up, it’s just…..” Sam tried to take a breath before speaking. He was feeling a bit overwhelmed, still reeling from the “Dean’s here, he’s really here” realization. Sam could feel his eyes glazing over with tears. 

“I just missed you so much” Sam said through tears “I guess I am having a bit of a hard time believing you are really here and you're not some hallucination.”

Dean crossed the two step space between them and pulled him into a hug. Sam was startled at first, but then relaxed into his brother's embrace. What really took him by surprise was Dean lifting him up and then sitting him on his lap.

As Dean settled himself down on the couch, he propped Sam up so that he could rest his head on his shoulder, the rest of him lay comfortably on Deans’ lap and couch. Had Dean done this earlier Sam might have fought him due to his pride, but since they’d been really effectively communicating and sharing. He chalked it up to Dean allowing him a longer chick flick moment so he relaxed more into his brother. He sniffled his shirt and enjoyed the warmth, smell, and comfort of him. It had been so long since Dean had allowed these heartfelt moments that he took comfort from. 

Dean was holding him close and rubbing his back and speaking in low tones and soothing words. “S’okay Sammy, I’m right here, not going anywhere” Dean murmured as he rocked him a bit. Sam give a small huffed laugh through the tears because, damn it, he'd really missed Dean. He he knew that he was spiraling out of control these last few months and, although he wouldn't admit it out loud, he had started to scare himself again.

“Shhh, shhh, you’re not alone baby. I’m here now and I’m gonna take care of you. Not gonna let you ever feel like you're flailing in the dark again” Dean soothed.

Sam gave a small laugh at Dean’s endearment but was comforted by it too. “Dude, I thought that endearment was too girly for you to say after I hit 12” Sam teased, waiting to hear Dean’s smart mouth comeback to end the moment. Instead he heard “I never should have stopped” as his hair was ruffled.

“Um, wait, what?” Sam looked up at Dean with curiosity. “Not what you were expecting?” Dean questioned, eyes brows raised. “Um no” Sam admitted feeling just a bit unsettled.

“I think it’s time that we have that discussion I promised” Dean said, raising Sam a bit on his lap. Now Sam really started to feel uncomfortable. He made an attempt to slide off Dean's lap but was held in place.

“Okay Dean, what is this about?” Sam asked. Dean decide to be blunt, “I know what you’ve been up to Sam these past four months and let me tell you half of it was not easy to hear.”

“What are you talking about?” Dean sighed at Sam's attempt to be evasive and not forth coming. 

“Number one you went after hunters.”   
“Only after the ones that threatened to kill you!” Sam retorted. “Doesn’t matter, I could handle them” Dean responded. 

“But then you would have taken a human life!” Sam argued. “Would not have been the first time Sam, and it would have been in self-defense. You on the other hand sought them out to trap them and took their lives.” “I gave them a fair warning” Sam's voice was cold. “And got hurt in the process. If Cas had not shown up at the last one…” Dean said without finishing. “When do we not get hurt in this line of work?” Sam scoffed. 

“Two. You tortured Demons when you were made aware that the vessels were still alive. That’s not like you Sam.” “Demons lie, besides some scarifies are necessary” Sam didn't hesitate to answer. 

He wouldn't allow Dean to make him feel guilty, not after the stunts Dean had pulled to save him in the past and even more recently. Dean had done everything to save him, no matter what. Dean was worth that too and he would do whatever it took to get his brother back. He wouldn't fail again. 

Dean grabbed Sam's chin and forced him to meet his eyes. “Let me make this clear to you. You have never failed me and I would move heaven and earth for you. I know you're hurting but I am back Sam. Now that I am back you will not be taking any more unnecessary risks. Do you understand?”

Sam blinked “How did you.....” he paused “I didn’t share that out loud?” “I can hear almost everything you're thinking now” Dean said matter of factly, seemingly not the least perturbed sharing the fact with Sam.

Sam scrambled back so fast it took Dean by surprise and he lost his grip. Sam landed on his ass but immediately hauled himself up. His balance was still shaky but with the surge of adrenaline that came from the anger and embarrassment he felt, he was able to keep his stance.

“And when were you planning on telling me” he shouted. “I just did” Dean replied without missing a beat.

“So, wow,” Sam huffed, as he started to pace a little not sure what to make of this new information or how to deal with it. It was maddening knowing that Dean could read his thoughts, all his thoughts.

“If it’ll make you happy, I don’t hear all thoughts. I’m still pretty new at this. Sometimes I just get a sense of a person's feelings. I think you call it empa, …empa, something?”

“EMPATHY!” Sam yelled “and no, it doesn’t make me feel better. I don’t’ want you to hear my thoughts. That's an invasion of privacy of my privacy!”   
The emotions Sam felt made him shake and he lost his balance. Dean held up his hands in placation “Sam, sit back down. Let's not get distracted. We need to finish our talk.” With that he leaned over and helped Sam to sit on the bench.

Sam took a deep breath “Okay so you know all that I’ve done. It doesn’t change the fact that we need to remove the Mark from you” Sam huffed. “Yes it actually does, because I’m keeping it Sam.”

“You what?” Sam couldn't believe his ears. “I’m keeping it. There is no need for you to try to contact Cain. I’ve been in touch with him recently. He understood and I kept my promise to him.” 

“What Promise?” Sam asked. “He’s been alive over 2,000 years Sam. He wanted to, no needed to, rest, he earned it.” 

Sam was getting upset again. He was breathing hard and looked at Dean like he'd lost his mind. 

“Hey, hey just chill man. That's is what I meant earlier today. You need to relax Sam and not worry about anything. I’m taking care of it. Okay buddy?”

“No Dean it is not okay! Just hold on a minute. You already contacted Cain and you are okay keeping the mark?! See Dean, I’m having a hard time trying to process this. You seem to be totally relaxed about it, but what I see is that you just damned yourself to Hell again!”

Sam was trying hard not to hyperventilate. “Okay, with the death of Cain that door was closed. When one door closes another one opens”, he rationalized. “How could Dean be so calm about this whole thing! And if a door didn't open? He’d blast one open if he had too.” 

“SAM” Dean's stern voice cut into his thoughts. Dean knew that Sam was listening now. This wasn't how he'd hoped the conversation would go but he could still fix things.

“No Sam.” 

Sammy made a bitch-face him and thought “you stop it” at Dean. He was getting madder and another idea started to form. He quashed it before Dean could get glimpse. Too late, he realized as he heard “SAM. Stop this now.”

“No Dean, there is still one more viable option. The same being who created the damn Mark in the first place. Lucifer. I know there is a way to communicate with him.”  
.  
“Sammy, I said no.” 

“I’m not leaving you like this Dean!” Sam cried.

“Yes you are.”

“No Dean I’m not. He insisted. “Yeah you heard me.” He stood closer to Dean and huffed “I am doing this whether you want me to or not and I don’t need your permission.” Sam spun on his heels to leave but was stopped by Dean with his hand on Sam’s wrist.

“See Sam that’s where you are wrong. I told you before you are not allowed to go anywhere near grown up stuff. I don't deem demonology books or ancient scripture as acceptable reading material”. 

“Are you kidding me?”

“No Sam. I’m not and I think I've let this go on long enough. It's time you that learn your place.” Before Sam could say anything Dean spun him around again and landed five hard swats to his rear. 

Taken by surprise, Sam let out an undignified yelp. “You...You HIT ME” Sam glared.

“No, I Simply gave you a few swats to your bottom to put you in your place and to make you listen.” “My place” Sam spluttered “I’m not freaking three!”

“No. You're more like a two year old” Dean told him calmly “who now needs to be put in time out and then back to bed for a nap.” Incensed Sam tugged on his writs to get Dean to let go. Dean simply picked him up with ease and carried him over to the corner where a light blue cushion stool stood. 

“Dean!, Stop it! This isn’t funny” Sam struggled to get out of Dean’s hold on him. “Never said it was a joke Sammy” he replied placing him down on the stool. The moment he stepped back, Sam tried to get up but with a gentle push from he was made to sit back down. 

Sam glared at Dean “if you think I’m just going to sit here you got a another thing coming.” He made another attempt to stand up but was held down by Dean.

“That’s exactly what you are gonna do Sam or you will be one sorry little boy.” Dean had not lost his temper and had kept his voice even and firm. However, something in Dean’s voice gave Sam pause. He looked up at Dean. Something about this situation niggled at the back of his head, something he should remember from childhood. The memory refused to form and he couldn't link it with what was happening right now. 

Seeing that he had Sam's attention Dean let go of his brother's arms and stepped back a little to cross his own. He made sure that he made direct eye contact before speaking. “Now you will sit there for 10 minutes and think about what you did to earn corner time.”

“What?” Sam huffed. 

“Even though you’ve been giving me attitude I don’t think it warrants a spanking. But so help me Sam, if you get up that is exactly what you are looking at.”

Sam was dumbfounded. He didn't know how to react, his mouth went dry trying to find the words that were lost at Dean's apparent threat.

Dean cleared up the dishes from the coffee table before turning to walk away. He stopped and glanced back at Sam. “I mean it Sam. If you place one foot out of there..” he left it at that and walked away to the kitchen.

Sam was spiraling emotionally. This couldn't be happening. Was this some weird f-up dream he was having? Why was he still sitting there? He could so easily get up and leave. What was he afraid of? Was it that Dean would follow through? He gulped at that thought. Dean couldn't mean it? What was going on with Dean? Why was this happening? There were too many questions running through his head and they were mixed with anger. Sam took a deep breath and focused. This was ridiculous. He huffed again, this was stupid and he was going to his room to research. He glanced one more time where Dean had walked and got up. He walked around the bend to the door way that led back to the hallway, but ran into Dean who stood there shaking his head.

“Sammy, Sammy, Sammy. I thought you knew better?” Dean’s eyes had gone black and this time did not change back to green. Sam quickly took a step back but it wasn't fast enough. Dean grabbed him and hauled him over his shoulder then walked purposely to the couch. He sat down and pulled Sam over his. He put his arm around Sam's waist. Sam kicked and squirmed trying to get a hold of something to get free. He bucked hard when he felt Dean’s hand come down hard “that hurts” he thought. A barge of swats followed one right after the other, not allowing Sam to catch his breath. Damn it was starting to sting and burn but he’d be damned if he cried like a child. He kicked his legs to try and hit something, anything and to get Dean to release his hold.

“Sam settle down or this will go on much longer.”

“SCREW you Dean, you have no right…”

“I have every right little boy, I gave you a warning and I always follow through. You know better Sam.” 

“I’m NOT A CHILD!”

“Your actions have proven otherwise.”

“STOP! Dean!” Sam voice cracked. He held his breath to try and get a grip of his sniffling. “No damn it. I will not break” he thought.

“Dean, please, stop” Sam begged, his voice starting to break a little. “Please” he said in a smaller voice. His breath hitched and he hadn't realized that his eyes had glazed over. He felt the first tear drops fall. “Please, please” Sam thought “let it end soon” he could feel himself growing smaller inside and breaking bit by bit. “I’m not, not…a child” he thought futilely and felt the dam break turning the quiet crying into pitiful sobs.

Dean finally stopped. He had been listening to Sammy the whole time. It had taken all of his strength not to cave into Sammy's broken thought and feelings. He did not want to do this to him but he needed to get through to him. God help him, this was the only way. 

Since Sam was young their father had figured that sometimes a good spanking would reduce a huffing stubborn headed teenager to a compliant sorry little boy. One who just wanted forgiveness and hugs, especially when he'd been out of line. It didn't make it any easier, John had loved his sons and hated to spank them, especially Sam. One, he was the baby of the family and two, his cries and tears could break any man’s heart. Dean and John had both believed that. However, John had told a 14 year old Dean, that in order to keep Sammy safe he needed to make sure he listened to the boundaries Dean and John had set up. That was when he had been given the responsibility and permission to deal out punishment to Sam. Sam had started pushing his luck with Dean as John had warned he would. “Sammy will test you to see how far you will let him get away with stuff. It’s your choice what you will allow Dean and what you will not allow.” And, oh boy, did Sam test Dean when he hit 11 and Dean was 15. Sam did what he'd done with John. He'd question ”why” when told “no”. 

Unlike John, who would allow Sam to pull him into an argument which led to confrontation, Dean nipped it in the butt, right away. In Dean’s mind was “aw hell no, I raised you, fed and clothed you, wiped your butt, cleaned up your snotty nose, scraped knees and elbows. You will not disrespect me.” From that point on Sam knew never to cross Dean. 

Dean knew that was who he needed to be for Sammy. If he had remembered that after picking Sam up from Stanford, maybe, just maybe, half the stuff Sam had suffered through would never have happened. Dean sighed, that was a lot of “maybes” to be thinking about. It was in the past, water under the bridge. 

He was here now and he would make sure that he didn't make the same mistakes with Sam again. It wasn't not gonna be easy, he knew that it would be hard for Sam. He’d given a lot of free reign to Sam’s independence in over 8 years (not including the 4 years at Stanford). Gaining that parental authority again, Dean knew he was in for a battle. But Dean knew what to do to make it easier on Sam and in the end this was for Sam. No matter how hard Sam fought Dean, he knew that Sammy knew in his heart that he needed Dean to be that parental figure for him that he always had been. They had just never acknowledged it. He had allowed Sam to have brief moments of comfort here or there. That was going to change, starting now.

He gently pulled up Sam from his face down position on his lap and wrapped him in a hug. He rubbed his back. “S ’okay now Sammy, its over.”

Sam was hiccuping through shuddering breaths and trying his damnedest to control the water works. He felt humiliated and embarrassed that he responded to Dean's touch after being hauled over his lap and spanked as though he was still a snot nosed brat. Half his mind was thinking about what just happened. He was arguing with himself, agreeing that the punishment was just. “Where did that come from?” he wondered, finally calming down. The tears were slowing down and he tried to get up, but was held in place.

“Nu uh Sammy, not done yet” Dean informed him. “You know how this works.” Sam looked at Dean incredulously “I’m not gonna tell you why you hit me” Sam said. 

“I didn’t hit you. I spanked you.” 

“Same thing!” Sam pushed against Dean really hard wanting to get free from his hold.

“No, there's a difference and you know it. We can go down the list of why you were spanked or we can go for round two. Your choice ” Dean warned. 

Sam swallowed and looks at Dean, “why are you doing this?” he asked weakly.

Dean studied Sam and saw that he wasn't trying to trick him. He pointed towards the stool and flicked his wrist to make it slide towards them, then put Sam on it. This time Sam didn't fight and just sat watching Dean. 

Dean clapped his hands and began to speak. “These last four months have been really hard on you. You haven’t made the wisest choices. This is my fault, you should never had been left alone. For that I take full responsibility of your actions.” 

“Dean what are you talking about?”

“Ashley Hearst” Dean looked in Sam’s eyes. Sam looked startled for a moment but composed himself into the poker face Dean had taught him back when he was a teen. 

“Okay” Dean thought “let’s see how well you can maintain that game face”. “Judy Adam, Noreen Roberts.” Sam swallowed hard and blinked, but didn't move his gaze away.

“And lastly, Lilian Marsh” Dean finished. Sam looked away from the condemnation in his eyes. 

“No baby, I’m not judging you” Dean reached over to Sam and gently placed his hand on his cheek. Sam turned to face Dean, his eyes glazed again. 

“You want to tell me now?” Dean prodded gently. Sam’s let out a teary laugh “why? You know what happened.” “I want you to tell me.” 

Sam started playing with his hands nervously, looking everywhere but Dean.

“Sammy.”

“Didn’t hurt them Dean, I promise” Sam’s eyes are huge and pleading.

“Oh God Sammy, what did you do?” Even though Hannah had brought the news to Cas and Dean he hoped that maybe she had misread or misjudged what she had witnessed. He could see, hear and feel through Sammy’s eyes right now and he sees the realization dawn on Sam’s face.

“I’m sorry Dee, the spell required four pints of a virgin's blood, didn’t hurt them only took one pint from each” he said tears falling rapidly. 

Dean grabbed Sam and pulled him to him. “Not your fault, you didn’t know any better” he mumbled into Sam’s hair. “I made sure to take them to a hospital to recover” Sam said into Dean’s shirt. Dean could hear the childlike hope in Sam’s voice that would think he'd done something right. “I wasn’t bad?” Sam softly asked. “No baby, you made some bad choices that's all.” Dean was still hugging Sam and twisted to kiss his temple. Sam was twiddling his fingers. Dean pulled back to look at him.

“Sam I need you to listen to me okay” Sam nodded hesitantly. “From now on I will be making all the decisions concerning what is good and bad for you. You don’t have to worry about that any more, you just need to relax and let me take care of you. You need to trust that I know what is best for you” Dean tried to hurry as he could see Sam’s face scrunching in confusion and his chest tighten in protestation. 

“You will follow all the house rules put into place from our earlier conversation. No more books, laptop or research. If you break any rules or test my boundaries, you will find yourself swiftly over my lap again. For any rules you break there will be a just punishment doled out, from being grounded and losing privileges, to corner time, to a sound spanking. Do you understand Sammy?” Sam looked stunned and didn't know what to say.

Dean continued “for good behavior, there will be rewards, privileges earned, reading time, a possible new toy.” Sam froze at the last word “new toy?” he repeated “what do you think I am?” “What you’ve always been Sammy, Dean replied. Sam waited for the answer but he had a gnawing suspicion. 

“The baby of the family.” Sam felt a cold sensation in the pit of his stomach. He took a deep breath “what did you just say?” “The baby of the family” Dean repeated. Sam shoot from his sitting place and walked backwards keeping his eyes on Dean “you're nuts!”

“No Sammy, this is how it will be from now on" Dean replied calmly. “I will, dress you, feed you, bathe you and essentially I will be looking after you. All you need to do is relax, sleep and have fun." 

“There's only one small problem with your plan Dean."

“I dont think so”. 

“Yeah the problem is that I AM FUCKING INDEPENDANT ADULT!"  
“No Sammy, I already told you. You revoked those privileges, when you stop taking care of yourself. You neglected your sleep, feeding yourself and hygienically cleaning up after yourself."

“You don't revoke being an adult. That's logically impossible” Sam snorted. “You do Sam. The moment you went to Stanford was a privilege. When I picked you up you were on borrowed time and I should have revoked your privileges at an earlier stage but I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt!"

“That's ridiculous people don't get privileges to be an adult, people just grow up” Sam said. “You don't Sam not really” Dean replied. “What are you talking about?” Sam asked. 

“You know damn well what I'm talking about, but if you need me to say out loud I will.”   
Sam was fidgeting now, not really comprehending where Dean is going with this. “Since you were a kid and through out teenage years, every time you got sick you regressed and clung tighter to me. I couldn't move more than 2 feet from you or you got upset. Hence I learnt having to do everything with one arm while I held you. When you're injured same thing, you wont let any doctor, nurse, fire man near you unless I'm there to soothe you and get you to listen to them.”

Sam jaw was clenched and Dean could see that he was visibly upset. “That's not fair! I was a kid and all kids are scared when sick or injured.” “Oh, I wish it was just that Sammy. Remember the first six months at Stanford?” Sam felt a little ill at that comment “what? You weren't even there.” “No, but pastor Jim was.”

Everything went silent “no, no he can't have known” flashed through Sam's thoughts. 

"You weren’t able to sleep and cried yourself to sleep for the first 3 months. You called Jim needing to unload and Jim called me and told me everything. I was so ready to come get you, but he stopped me. He reminded me that your future was at stake and asked me if I wanted to see you hunting permanently. He said that if I really loved you the way I said I did then I would let you go and help you to get over your sadness another way. I walked to the impala and opened the trunk and took out that stupid scrappy stuff dog you liked so much as a kid and when you were sick. I gave it to him telling him to lie to you. To say that I had dropped it off the day after you left and that he'd held on to it for another kid in the orphanage. Just tell him that and he'd accept I said.” 

Sam was stunned. Dean had known all this time? “I'm sorry kid that it had to burn in the fire too.” Sam nodded and regained his posture. “I'm not the first kid who leaves to college and gets home sick Dean” he said. 

Dean looked at him and realized that he'd really have to say something that would hurt the kid. “22 years old, after the windigo incident you stuck to me like glue. Later at Michigan lake Manitoc, after you swan dived into that cold ass lake with me to save Luke, you got the flu for a week. A very sick Sam becomes a clingy Sam” Dean intoned. “Would you like me to go through every little incident after that into well your supposed 30th year?”

Sam eyes were huge and filled with hurt “those were chick flick moments you let me have and you said we'd never bring them up” Sam whispered.

“Sorry Sammy, but they weren't. They were what you know they were.” 

“Which is?” Sam voice was soft. “A baby brother needing his big brother for comfort. You need me to take care of you. Hell you're most happy when I take over and look after you for the week after you're sick or the month it takes you to recover from a bad injury.” 

Sam was reeling. Those times were supposed to be kept quiet. To be never spoken out loud. That had always been the rule. Why was Dean changing that now? “I need to, to, take a walk” Sam said quietly. “Sorry Sam. No” was Dean's reply. 

Sam looked up “I need to get out and get some fresh air” he yelled. “No Sam, you're still not well and its cold outside right now” Dean informed him.

“I need some space Dean to think on everything you just said. Please I wont go far.” “Sorry Sammy, I can leave you here alone so you can get sometime to yourself while I get dinner ready”. Dean turned to head out to the kitchen again. Sam watched him disappear. He rubbed his hand down his face. “Okay”, he thought “I can deal with this. It isn't really Dean. Dean's brain was fried by the Mark of Cain. Yeah that it.” However, he couldn't help but feel hurt and betrayed by Dean's out loud declarations of his flaws. Sam thought “screw this” and turned to walk to his room. He felt his body begin to tremble with the day's exhaustion and leant against the wall.

\---End of flash back---  
Sam continues on his way to his room feeling hurt, dejected and very tired. He feels ready to collapse. He sighs triumphantly as he finally reaches up and turns the door handle. It clicks “what?” he thinks and tries again. “God damn it! It's locked!” he thinks putting his head against the door. Okay, he can't go back so he decides to walk to the next guest bedroom down the hall. He staggers a bit more but makes it. “Yes” he thinks. He doesn't know why but it feels like a victory. Maybe trying to show Dean that he can manage just fine and doesn't need any help. Sam opens the door and stands in the doorway for a bit. He bites his lower lip as he sees how cold and empty the room looks. Sam leans back and looks down the hallway towards Dean's door. “No” he shakes his head “that will just prove Dean's right” he thinks. He walks into the room and goes over to the closet. He opens it and finds a trunk. He flips it open, pulls out a white comforter and walks back to the bed. He collapses on top, not bothering to make the bed. He pulls the comforter over him and closes his eyes. He's mentally and emotionally exhausted. He curls into a tight ball and whimpers quietly to himself. “Fine” he thinks “I'm feeling sorry for myself. Who cares? I'm allowed to after everything that just happened. Stop, stop stop” he mentally scolds himself. He finally gives into sleep, telling himself everything will be better in the morning. 

An hour later Sam is breathing deeply and soundly. The bedroom door opens and Dean stands there watching Sam sleep. He walks in with a bag in tow. He gently lifts the comforter off of Sam, puts the bag next to him and sets to work.

He quickly and efficiently removes all of Sam's clothes. Sam stirs a bit feeling the coolness on his skin. Dean begins to hum “Hey Jude” slowly like a lullaby. Sam sighs in his sleep and quiets down. Dean reaches into the bag and pulls out a diaper. It's white and blue and with a balloon design on the waist line next to the tabs. He lifts Sam's hips with ease and slips the diaper under him. Before he closes it, he grabs some diaper ointment, spreads some on then pulls out baby powder and sprinkles some over the top. The whole time humming “Hey Jude”. He closes the diaper and then pulls out a white onesie. He pulls it over Sam's head and then slips his arms in the sleeves. As he tugs the onesie down Sam's torso he smooths it out and turns Sam to the side to make sure the back is smooth too. He pulls the back flap under Sam's butt and over to the front to snap the three buttons. He gently rolls Sam back on to his back and steps back to see the transformation. He smiles seeing how adorable Sam looks so far, even just in his onesie. There's much more to do and he pulls out a blue baby sleeper with covered feet. He quickly slips Sam's arm in then his legs and pulls the zipper up. The sleeper has covered hands which he can unfold over to cover Sam's,which he does. Sam snuffles a bit and curls up again. Dean chuckles and then starts folding Sam's adult clothes up and puts them away in the bag. 

Dean watches his brother sleep for a moment, bag in hand then zaps out of the room. He zaps back in, this time without the bag. He walks over to Sam in the bed slips his arms under and picks him up pulling him close to his chest. Sam curls in towards Dean which makes him smile. They teleport out of the room and into Sam's room. It is beautifully decorated. The walls are painted white with sunset pink highlighting here and there. The carpet is a soft powder blue and the ceiling was painted sky blue with clouds dotted around. He walks over to the white wooden crib. Sam is still sleeping comfortably against his chest as he lowers the side crib to lay Sam down. As he does Sam whines at the loss of contact. Dean places his hand on Sam's chest and he relaxes. Dean hums some more as he arranges Sam in his crib. He pulls the soft blue baby blanket over Sam who snuggles into it with a happy sigh. Dean steps back and realizes he's forgotten something. He walks over to the white baby dresser and picks up a yellow pacifier and walks back to Sam. He places it in front of Sam's mouth and as soon as it touches his lips he automatically latches on and begins to suck without prompt. Dean is in awe at Sam's natural baby characteristics.

This might actually be a bit easier than he thought. He just has to push a little and Sam slips into this natural state. Maybe that's what Sam was afraid of? He'll just have to show him that there is nothing to be afraid. He'll show Sam that he just needs to let go and allow himself the pleasure of being pampered, loved and protected. He smiles again at his adorable baby brother. He reaches up to the mobile of stars and moons hanging over the crib and turns it on. It plays their mother's lullaby, “Hey Jude”, softly and slowly.

Dean sighs and turns on the baby monitor, walks to the door takes one more look before leaving knowing that tomorrow is the first day for Sam in his new role. “Good night Sammy” he calls out softly and proceeds down the hall to his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoy chapter 5 and I will do my best to get chapter 6 up in running 1 to 2 weeks? your kinds words inspire me to believe in myself.


	6. Sammy's New Life step 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam wakes up and has a hard time adjusting, Dean there to help him figure it out and calm him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay sorry it's taken 3 weeks to post again. My poor beta reader has not been feeling well. But because she loves you guys she struggle thru and solider on. I did not get a chance to review it myself too excited to post.  
> So if there are any mistakes I apologize in advance, I hope you guys like it. I still don't know where I am going with this or how I'll end it. I did not know how hard it really is to write a story, I will never take for granted all you wonderful writers of AO3, FAN FICTION and LIVE JOURNAL and TUMBLR. you guys are heroes to us Fans in the Supernatural Fandom.

Chapter 6: Sammy’s new life step 1

Sam lazily stretches feeling warm and rested, he lets out a happy sigh and pulls the blanket closer around him. He doesn't want to wake up from the blissful slumber since he hasn't felt this good in a long time. “Maybe all I needed was a good night sleep”, he thinks as he turns over onto his stomach to pull the pillow over his head. He stops, is he chewing on something in his mouth? 

“Damn it!” Sam thinks “Dean had better not be playing another prank war with me. We are too old for this shit and they always escalate out of control!” As Sam scrambles to sit up to spit out the offending object he pauses. His hands seem to be covered by sleeves. He follows the colorful sleeve upwards and sees what he's wearing. It takes his brain 5 seconds to catch up. He quickly pulls the entire blanket off. Didn't he fall asleep with a white comforter? That doesn't matter right now because what he sees make’s his stomach curl uncomfortably. Is he wearing a sleeper with covered feet?

Sam tries to get up from the bed. He finally takes full notice of his surrounding and freezes. The lights are dimmed in the room, but he can fully make out everything, especially the bars he’s facing as he looks around. 

He crawls over to one side of the bed and reaches out with his covered hand. He stops and fumbles to pull back the covering from his hands, after which he reaches towards the bars and grips them as he looks out towards the room. Sam gulps as he looks left to right, either he’s still asleep and dreaming-and this would be a serious fuck up dream, or this is one hell of practical joke Dean is playing on him. 

The room he is in is completely decorated like a baby’s nursery. Sam can see a large rocking plush green arm chair on one side of the room with what he figures is some kind of changing table close by. On the other side of the room there's a white dresser, on which is a small lamp, the only light on, decorated with bi-planes on the shade. Close by is a large chest next to a three shelve bookcase. 

Sam grips the bars tightly, kneels and tries to make sense of where he is. “No, no, no it can’t be, it’s impossible” he thinks but when he sees the mobile hanging above him his heart sinks and cold dread starts to seep in. He drops his head to his chest and starts breathing rapidly. Everything becomes crystal clear as he remembers what Dean had said the night before.

“Shit this can’t be what he meant, can it?” Sam wonders. “Well I'm not be sticking around to find out!” he decides since it is too far out of his comfort zone, even for the stuff they’d run into over the years. He takes a firm grip of the top bar to pull himself out when he hears the door handle so lets go and drops back onto the mattress. “Wait, what's that on my butt?” he thinks but doesn't have time to dwell on it because Dean is opening the door and, not knowing what possesses him, he dives under the blanket. 

Dean pauses at the door way, just barely catching sight of Sam diving under the blankets. He grins at Sam's cuteness, turns on the lights and walks over.

“Well someone is up and full of energy” Dean good naturally quips.  
Sam cringes under the blanket, “this isn't real, this can’t be happening. I am going to wake up really soon” he thinks. Hearing Dean's chuckle he feels his face grow hot. Why is he hiding like some frightened kid under the blankets! Well this isn't garnering him adult points!

Dean reaches down and tugs on the blanket Sam is holding tightly on.

“Feeling playful baby” 

“Go Away!” Sam huffs out.

“Okay, not unexpected” Dean thinks. He was expecting a fight from Sam this morning. He reaches down again but this time pauses above Sam’s leg and rests two fingers on what he can feel is Sam’s thigh. Sam tenses as Dean starts making crawling motions with the two fingers up towards Sam’s hip, torso and begins to sing.

“The itsy bitsy spider crawled up the water pipe, down came the rain and washed the spider out.” As Dean nears the top of the blanket he grabs hold and pulls at “wash the spider out” part and the blanket tumbles free from Sam’s hands. 

“Eeep!” Sam shouts, immediately thinking “wait, did that come out of me?” as he scrambles back up against the crib. Dean would normally tease Sam for the sound he just made, but he understood the kid was just nervous and scared.

“Hey there Sammy” Dean smiles “ready for breakfast?” Sam tries to process everything, the scene, Dean’s attitude, what he's wearing. “Think Sam!” he yells at himself “say something to snap Dean out of this.” Sam looks around to see if he has any openings.

“Okay Sammy, enough dawdling let’s get you changed and to the kitchen for breakfast” Dean says reaching for Sam. He easily pulls him towards himself as Sam wakes from his stupor to finally start fighting.

“Dean, stop, this isn't funny anymore!” Sam yells. Dean just ignores the fidgeting and lifts him up to his hip and walks over to the changing table.

Sam pushing at Dean’s shoulders as he is carried. Sam starts to feel frustrated, “damn it. I'm taller than Dean, he shouldn't be able to lift me and put me on his hip so easily should he?” he wonders. Dean reaches the changing table and places Sam on it. As Sam feels himself being lifted and moved from Dean’s hip to the changing table he witnessed earlier he snaps “aw hell no!” He tries to lunge off the table but Dean puts a hand on his chest and without much effort eases Sam down onto the table. With his other hand he snaps a belt strap across Sam’s waist to help keep him in place.

Sam glares up at Dean with defiance and reaches the strap to undo it. Dean sighs “Sammy settle down, you don’t want to start today with a warm bottom do you?” Sam startles, stops, looks up at Dean and drops his hand. “Dean what’s going on?” he whispers with trepidation. “'S okay Sammy. We're gonna change you and get something good in your tummy” Dean replies as he reaches up to pull down the zipper of his baby sleeper.

Sam lays frozen at first when Dean pulls the zipper down, it’s when Dean reaches down to unsnap something that Sam reactions wake up again. “Dean what the hell man?!” he hollers reaching up to swat Dean's hands away and twists away. “I’m just checking to see if your wet baby.” 

“Wet?” Sam stops twisting and looks up at Dean confused. Then it hits him, remembering the sensation he felt earlier when he flopped on the mattress. He quickly looks down at himself and is frozen in shock as he sees that not only is he wearing a white onesie but, even worse, there is diaper material sticking out of the leg holes. 

While Sam is frozen in shock Dean unsnaps the onesie and sees that the diaper is puffy, meaning Sam did use it. “Good baby” Dean cooes at Sam  
“we’ll get you all cleaned up now.”

“Cleaned up?” Sam is confused then remembers that when he sat on the bed he felt a warm sensation on his butt which is now starting to feel cold and wet. The realization of what he's done hits him, or rather, what his body has done. He feels betrayed by it. “I actually peed in the damn diaper during the night! What the hell is wrong with me?” he wonders.

As Dean reaches up to undo the diaper and Sam snaps. He feels his mind and emotions start to short circuit with too much information to process. On instinct alone he starts to twist and turn, pulling hard at the strap. He doesn't care if Dean gets pissed, he doesn't care if it leads to some sort of punishment, he doesn't care about anything. All he can think is he wants to get out of there now, run away from the truth, the cold wetness on him. “Run, hide, humiliation” runs in circles in Sam’s head as he struggles to get off the dam contraption he’s lying on. He starts breathing hard and fast hearing himself wheeze. 

Meanwhile, Dean watches as Sam completely falls apart and realizes that the kid is having a full on panic attack. He quickly releases Sam and sits him up. “Hey, hey, it’s okay Sammy. Shush calm down, come on deep breaths” Dean coaxes, but he can see that Sam can’t hear him as he's in full on panic mode. Knowing what to do before the kid passes out he lifts Sam up and settles them both on the floor. He sits behind Sam with him between his spread legs leaning on his chest. Dean lowers his voice but speaks with authority into Sam’s ear.

“Breathe Sammy” Dean takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly keeping one hand on Sam’s chest the other wrap around his waist. Dean keeps breathing slowly and evenly until Sam starts mimicking him, finally relaxing with little shuddering breaths every few seconds. Once he feels Sam’s body relaxing he lifts them both up and turns Sam around to face him. Before Dean can react Sam is hugging him tightly, still trembling and making small hiccuping noises. Dean pulls Sam back a little and sees his face is full of tear tracks and his nose is running. He notices Sam trying to lean forward onto his shoulder, so he pulls Sam back towards his chest and offers comfort by rubbing his back for a few more minutes, walking back and forth with him until he hears Sam finally breath normally. Dean stops pacing and gently probes Sam’s mind, there is no more emotional distress, just a sense of subdue. He walks back to the changing table and this time carefully sits Sam down and waits. When there's no reaction he reaches for one of the face cloths and wipes Sam’s face and nose. Without any prompting, Sam blows when Dean covers his nose. “huh?” Dean thinks, “okay, this is odd” but seeing that Sam is still calmly sitting although still with shaky breaths he continues.

“Sammy, baby we are going to try this again.” Again no response. When Dean slowly lays Sam down he tenses but goes pliant again, laying completely still, onesie half way up his waist. Dean doesn't bother to put the strap back on and when he reaches for the first diaper tab Sam makes a distressed noise. When he does the second tab, Sam is a bit louder and his legs start moving restlessly. Dean stops for a moment reaches into one of the changing table drawers to pull out a pacifier holding it against Sam's mouth. Sam turns his head away and makes a small whimpering sound.

“Baby, I promise this will help make it better” Dean reassures Sam, who slowly glances at Dean then the pacifier and allows Dean to slip it in. Sam holds it in shuddering a bit but then begins to suck slowly, calming down a bit. He closes his eyes and exhales around the pacifier.

Dean goes back to taking off the wet diaper, quickly wipes him down thoroughly, grabs a fresh diaper and lifts Sam’s bottom to slip it under him. He grabs the baby ointment and starts spreading it quickly and efficiently. He notices Sam tense again, sucking furiously on the pacifier with his eyes closed and face red. He can feel the swell of emotions rolling through Sam so he quickly finishes diapering, and reaches for a new onesie. It’s white with little turtles printed all over, he carefully pulls it over Sam’s head and then pulls his arms through. He snaps the flaps shut, relieved that there is no distress or tension from Sam, who remains completely plaint and relaxed. Next he grabs the pastel green overall shorts and pulls them over Sam’s legs. He lifts his bottom, slips the crisscross straps up his back, pulls them over Sam’s shoulder to button them at his waist adjusting the pants legs and waist. Next he puts the baby white socks and soft pastel green booties to match Sammy’s baby outfit on him.

Dean steps back a little and observes at Sam. He looks adorable and cute as he continues to suck on his pacifier with his eyes closed. Dean senses Sam having an internal emotional fight with himself and just below which is a relaxed and happily sighing, Sammy. The relaxed surface Sam is now mediating using “seriously Sam. Yoga?” he smiles. It must be from his Stanford days with Jess but he's ok with that. “Let’s see if we can get Sammy out to play” he thinks.

He picks Sam up, “okay Sammy, let’s get some breakfast” he says startling Sam from his meditative state to look around confused. His arms automatically wrap around Dean and he sucks profusely on his pacifier stopping when he realizes what he is doing. Sam opens his mouth and lets the awful thing fall out. Dean catches it with one hand, not saying anything and puts it on the dresser while walking out.

They head to the kitchen; Sam is now angry and tense, but he is hungry and can’t wait to eat something. He could also go for a cup of coffee that he smells brewing as they walk in. Surprised when Dean walks past the bar stool chairs at the counter his eyes go wide when they reach the end of the counter. “Is that a fucking high chair!?” Sam thinks as Dean removes the tray in front and goes to sit Sam down. Dean stops Sam before he can react saying “no Sam” loudly and firmly. Sam automatically goes plaint which makes Dean smile thinking “yup, just a little push.” He puts on the baby straps and latches the tray to the chair. Sam blinks “what just happened” he thinks confused. He's still in a daze and doesn't notice Dean going to the cupboard to get a sippy cup before going to the fridge to fill it with juice.

He's jolted out of his daze when he hears the clunk as Dean puts it onto the tray. He looks at the sippy cup then raises his eyes up at Dean “you can’t be serious?” he asks incredulously. “Drink your juice Sammy, while I prepare your oatmeal” Dean calmly instructs.

Sam scowls at the cup. It’s silver and blue, and looks like it’s supposed to be some sort of spaceship. “Okay” he thinks, “I'm okay with juice since I drink it more than Dean being the healthy brother”. He looks longingly over at the counter where the coffee maker is sitting. “God, I could sure use a cup” he thinks before looking at Dean who is at the stove stirring the oatmeal. He looks at the straps, noticing how they go through the back of the chair so he can’t take them off. Maybe if he ask real nice, he clears his throat “uh Dean?”

“Yeah Sammy?”

“Um, I could sure use one of your famous fresh brew cups of coffee” Sam asks brightly. Dean turns around and walks over with oatmeal in hand, “sorry baby no” he replies.

“What? Why?” Sam asks dumbfounded. Dean pulls up a chair and sits beside Sam stirring the oatmeal to cool it off. “Babies don’t drink coffee” he says simply.

“I know that, but I’m not...” Sam doesn't finish his sentence because of the look that Dean is giving him. “Fine” he huffs and points to the juice. “I’ll drink the juice, but can I get it in a regular cup at least? There is no way I’m drinking from that” he scowls. Dean just stares at Sam without answering, “okay I take that as a no?” Sam says. 

“Now you’re getting it” Dean smiles then lifts a spoonful of oat meal to Sam's mouth. Sam stares at Dean with surprised look on his face then twists his head away from his brother “Dean what are you doing?” he asks. “It’s pretty obvious Sammy. I’m feeding you, your oatmeal.”

“No, Dean I can do it myself” Sam says as he reaches for the spoon but Dean moves it away remembering a three year old pouting Sammy wanting to feed himself and chuckles at the memory. Here is Sam now doing a perfect imitation of that old pout still trying to get the spoon. “Ah, ah, ah Sammy. You’ll make a mess, now open wide, here comes the plane” Dean cooes. 

Sam's face goes bright red as he looses it again. “Fine, Dean wants a two year old? I can do two year old me.” If he recalls correctly, from what his dad said, he drove John and Dean up the wall when he was two having just learnt to say ‘no”, throwing tantrums left and right when he didn't get this way.

“No” Sam pouts and twists away again. “Come on Sammy, I put berries in it” Dean tries. “Nooo” Sam whines as he huffs and twists. “No, no, no, no” he pushes at the tray and twists again. Dean sighs and then gets an idea “hey what in the world…” he trails off making Sam stop. “What” Sam turns around quickly, the moment he opens his mouth it's filled with a spoonful of oatmeal. Sam glares at a smirking Dean and swallows. “That’s not fair…” another mouthful and Sam swallows. “Quit it… mmph” more oatmeal and Sam swallows again.

“Dean” he tries and gets the 4th spoonful and swallows. Sam makes a bitch-face, clamps his mouth shut and crosses his arms. However, Dean has another trick up his sleeves and reaches under the tray. Sam watches him and then it hits Sam what Dean is about to do when he feels Dean’s fingers under his knee.

“DEAN, don’t!” she shouts too late as the sensation starts. Sam jerks back and locks his jaw damn it “no’ he thinks. Then he feels the shaking trembling in his tummy, the corner of his mouth curls upwards…he can’t, oh god he can’t…then laughter breaks free from him. The moment it does Dean is slips another mouthful of oatmeal into his mouth, repeating it twice. He waits for Sam to calm down a bit before he doing it again, after all he doesn't want Sam to choke on his food! 

“There all done” Dean announces at a pissed, embarrassed and angry at Dean for getting the better of him Sam. “I'm sitting in a freaking high chair, dressed in ridiculous childish clothes, wearing a diaper” at that thought he cringes “and to make it worse Dean denied me a cup of coffee!” Something snaps inside and he narrows his eyes looking down at his tray; the stupid sippy cup is still there. He doesn’t think just acts on how he is feeling. 

Dean is at the sink wetting a clean dish towel to wipe the oatmeal that had gotten onto his brothers face. Just as he is about to turn around something explodes next to him, shattering on the wall leaving is orange juice dripping down it. Dean turns towards Sammy who has a satisfied smirk on his face. As if on cue he picks up the empty dirty plastic bowl left on the tray.

“Sammy” Dean growls out in warning. Sam purposely ignores him and throws the bowl with all his might, watching it sail through the air and crash against the wall breaking into pieces. “God that felt so good” he thinks looking around for something else to toss. He startles when he feels the tray being removed and looks up and to see Dean with a familiar look on his face. Sam tries to remember it from his past, eyes widening, when he remembers a 2 and 3 year old Sammy knowing when he’s been bad on purpose. He wants to scramble back but there is nowhere for him to go strapped as he is in the high chair. Dean unsnaps the strap, the moment he does Sam tries to drop underneath Dean’s grasp.

“Oh no you don’t Sammy. You know what you did was wrong, there is no wiggling out of this.” He grabs Sam around the waist, lifts him up and walks purposely to the living room with Sam struggling the whole time trying to kick and squirm out of Dean’s hold. “No, no, no, no. Stop Dean. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it” he yells miserably.

“Oh, but you did Sammy boy and you know the consequences.” Dean walks over to the large couch and sits down arranging Sam face down over his lap. 

“Please, Dean. Please, don’t do this” Sam begs. “You should have thought about that before you went ahead and threw a tantrum” Dean states.

“I didn't throw a tantrum” Sam splutters squirming in Dean’s hold. 

Dean reaches under Sam, unbuttons the straps, slips downs the shorts and then reaches under one more time and unsticks the tab to the diaper. Sam gasps when he feels cold air hit his exposed bottom.

Sam lurches forward “noooo Dean!” his face crimson at the humiliation of being bare over his brother's knee. “This is not happening, not again!” he thinks frantically.

Dean was prepared for his younger brother's revolt and had tightened his restraining hold in preparation, easily keeping him in position. Not wanting to waste any more time, he just wants to get the discipline over with, he immediately begins swatting his brother’s buttocks hard and fast.  
A pained ‘OWW!” escapes Sam’s lips, before he immediately clamps down on it. “I'm an adult, not some snot-nosed kid, I can endure this. I will not cry this time” Sam vows.

The steady swats rain down over Sam's rear and the burning sensation begins to increase. “You will not throw a tantrum just because you don’t get your way Sammy.” Swat, swat, swat “you will listen when I give you a warning to stop.” Swat, swat, swat “you will not be rude and disrespectful” Swat, swat, swat “do you understand?”

“Go to hell Dean” Sam says through clenched teeth. “Been there, done that Sammy, think I’ll pass” Dean responds. Sam freezes as he realizes he spoke without thinking. Words that people usually toss so cavalierly without realizing how callous they are. For them there's a deeper meaning behind, Dean and Sam had both been to hell and it had nearly destroyed them mentally and physically. “I’m sorry Dean” Sam whispers.  
Dean knows that Sammy is apologizing for the “hell thing”, not his recent childish tantrum. “I know you are buddy.” Dean stops seeing that Sam's butt cheeks are a pinkish color and decides to shift his position exposing Sam's under curve and upper thighs. Dean begins going up and down covering the entire under curve and sit spots.

Sam is gripping the couch cushions tightly and wishing he has a pillow to stuff into his mouth to clamp down on something besides his teeth. The pain increased, “God it hurts so much” he thought realizing that if he breaks Dean would always have the upper hand. He sniffles a bit thinking that it isn't tears trying to slip out of the corner of his eyes.

“Dean, please…I’m sorry” Sam whimpers and finally the flood gates open. When Sam makes this admission he stops struggling and goes lax over Dean’ knees crying pitifully unaware that Dean has stopped and is now rubbing circles on Sam’s back.

“Shhh, it’s okay Sammy. I know you are, its all over.” He gently lifts Sam up and cradles him against his chest. Sam curls toward Dean and grips his shirt, still sobbing. “I’m s-s-sorry De’n d-d-d-didn’t meant it” he wails pitifully into Dean's shirt.

“'S okay Buddy, you’re okay now. You did good” Dean soothes as he starts to rock Sammy, shushing him and effectively calming him down. When Sam is quietly sniffling, Dean releases one arm and holds his palm face up a face cloth appearing in it. He gently pries Sam from him and starts to carefully wipe his tears, and now dry oatmeal. “There you go buddy” he says. 

Sam looks up at Dean and gives a small smile. He's about to say something when he realizes he is sitting half naked on Dean’s lap and tries to get up but, of course, Dean is holding onto him. “Dean please, if you don’t mind I like to get dressed” Sam says in a low voice, face bright red.

“Of course Sammy” Dean gets up and lays Sam down on the couch then grabs a bag that out of nowhere. Sam scrunches his face in confusion, looking up at  
Dean, until he sees what Dean pulls out. “Oh no, I am not doing this again” Sam quickly sits up and tries to get away before Dean can stop him but Dean is faster and grabs Sam's wrist before he can go any further.

“Okay Dean this has gone far enough I've endured and allowed whatever delusional grandeur's you're having” Sam angrily tells Dean then snatches with his free hand the throw blanket from the side of the couch to cover up.

“No Sammy. I've allowed you to act up this far and have accepted your form of communication but since you can’t behave properly and continue to misbehave…..” Dean says pulling the blanket away from Sam, picks him up and puts him down on the couch.

“Dean!” 

“No Sam” Dean’s voice is firm “you will settle down and behave now, or every night before bedtime there will be a spanking until the message sinks in. Do I make myself clear little boy?”

Sam freezes and looks up at Dean, he clears his throat and tries to speak but can’t. “Sammy I asked you a question” the tone of Dean's voice tells Sam that he'd better answer or else.

Sam swallows and tries again “Dean please, can we just talk” he says with pleading eyes. “No Sammy, we've talked about it already and now you will listen and behave. You will be quiet and not fuss.” He reaches into the diaper bag pulls out another pacifier this one is blue.

Sam’s eyes go wide “No Dean I don’t ...” but Dean holds it close to Sam’s mouth which he promptly closes, shaking his head with pleading eyes.

“Open up baby.” Sam shuffles trying to look anywhere but at Dean. “Now Sammy.” 

Sam whimpers recognizing Dean’s tone. He'd heard it not just the 18 years he grew up with Dean but even after Stanford. It made him automatically fall in line knowing when he'd pushed Dean far enough to give the “listen little boy and do not question me” warning tone. Sam knows he's lost the battle because he never was able to ignore that tone. He looks at Dean, his features are patient but he has that expectant “now” look in his eyes. Sam miserably relents, very slowly opens his mouth and lets Dean slip in the pacifier. He doesn't suck it at first but just holds lets it sit in his mouth and looks woefully at Dean.

Dean eyes soften and his heart swells with love for his baby brother. “Awww baby, its’ okay. I know this has been tough morning for you, but you are doing so good” Dean gently reassures Sam. 

Sam just makes more sad noises behind the pacifier. “I know baby, I know, you’re probably just a bit tired after such a busy morning” Dean grabs the diaper and other baby stuff and starts to re-diaper Sam. Sam again blushes as Dean lifts his bottom up and slides the diaper underneath him then administers more baby cream. Sam starts to suck on the pacifier immediately; “it does offer some kind of comfort” he tells himself.  
Dean redoes the onesie and puts the overall shorts back on Sam. He picks him up and walks into the library where set up in one of the corner is a large colorful play pen. He places Sam inside it. Sam looks up at Dean with wide eyes.

“Baby, I want you to be a good boy and stay inside your playpen while I go back to the kitchen and clean-up. When I get back I’ll have a surprise for you before nap time. Can you do that for me Baby?” Sam blinks at Dean not knowing what to say or if he is allowed to talk with the pacifier in his mouth. 

“Baby I asked you a question” Dean’s tone is light but waiting for an answer to see if Sam understands. Sam shakes his head vigorously, Dean smiles and pats his head saying “good baby.” Before leaving he straps a baby monitor to the playpen then walks to the kitchen which is right next to the library.

Sam sits there confused and looks around while still unconsciously sucking on his pacifier. He sees the playpen has toys, soft blocks and stuffed animals. He hesitantly gets closer to some kind of plastic contraption that has the numbers 1-5 on it with blue, green, red, yellow, orange colors. It has two buttons below each number. Sam looks around, curiosity gets the better of him and he gingerly reaches out and pushes the first button. The lid on the number flips open and a sesame street character sitting in a bathtub says “one! I have one rubber ducky!”

Sam closes his eyes as if asking for peace of mind, praying the serenity prayer to grant him serenity for things he can’t control. He exhales around the pacifier nods once, opens his eyes and looks down again at the contraption. For the hell of it he pounds the last number and up pops another sesame street character. Bert? he thinks unsure says “five! there are five pigeons!” He drops his head that’s what he thought it would say. Sam sighs and looks around again and sees the baby monitor and thinks either Dean is laughing his ass off in the kitchen after hearing Sam push the stupid toy buttons or he is taking this whole scenario seriously. If it’s the latter Sam’s screwed, forget that he's gone past screwed, he’s fucked. 

Sam runs his hands through his hair, trying to review the past two days. “I’m sitting in a life size play pen what is there to review” he thinks. As he rubs his face he touches the offending object still in his mouth. He quickly pulls it out and looks at it. “That's twice I've accepted the stupid pacifier” he thinks as he studies it.  
“Of course” he rationalizes, “it was out of fear of what would happen if I didn't allow Dean to slip it in.” However, if he's honest with himself, his behavior during and after he was calmed and plaint scares the crap out of him. Sam searches within himself wondering where it came from. Stockholm syndrome? No, there's no way two days would have him acquiesce to Dean’s control. Also, he's still mentally capable of discerning that his situation isn't pretty, so it definitely can’t be that. He doesn't know what to think as he holds the foreign object close up finally tossing it to the corner of the pen so he doesn’t have to see it. A small part feels a tiny bit of loss, when he realizes it his eyes widen “see right there!” he thinks “why would any part of me, small or big, want that disgusting thing?” He takes a deep breath and stops that train of thought form going down that track, he over analyzes like Dean has told him countless of times. He decides to get back to the real matter at hand…..escape and save Dean. 

He realizes he needs to figure out what Dean’s game plan is. If this was a monster or hunt Sam, with Dean’s help, would research and look for motive and weakness. “Why is Dean doing this, what’s his gain or purpose?” he wonders sighing in frustration, he’s got nothing. Sam leans against the playpen, pinches the bridge of his nose tries to see the whole big picture, a trick he picked up from Dean. All Sam sees is Dean acting like his usual protective 'Big Brother' mode or rather like Big Brother come Mother Hen on steroids. Could the Mark mix and mess up Dean’s sense of “keep Sammy safe” into this twisted version game he was now playing?

“No, that doesn’t make sense” he thinks as he closes his eyes to run recent events through his mind. He sees Dean four months ago, standing in that warehouse with dead bodies littering the ground, power rolling off of him. When Dean turned he saw black eyes and a cold grin. That doesn't add up with how Dean is now. “What could have changed since then?” he wonders thudding his head against the playpen. “Something's missing” he realizes “but what?”

When Dean disappeared he went on a hunt to find a cure for Dean. He tried to locate Cain but even with Cas' help he couldn't track him down and the summoning ritual was a bust. Then he'd remembered the historical supernatural stash at that arrogant jerk Sinclair's invisible house. He'd went there too, it was scary and creepy, and had called Cas who'd brought Hanna so they were able to get in and out fast, but not without Sam getting injured first. Hannah had been very angry once they got outside and was practically yelling at him. Then she reached down to where he was sitting next to the car and healed the open gash across his forehead thanks to the no god werewolf –the monsters Sinclair had collected had gotten out of the cages and were running amok in there.

Two months later had yielded nothing. “No that’s not right” he corrected himself. He had found something he just didn’t like it so he'd saved it as back up. When it was coming up to the third month he decided he had no choice as the whole hunter community was tracking Dean down. That was a mess. “What happened next?” he tries to remember. 

Oh yeah, third month Dean popped up again and just waltzed in on him in the motel which led him to now.  
God this would be so much easier if he had paper and pen to write everything down. He could tack his ideas on the wall and step back to probably see something. Instead he has to do it mentally which is exhausting him. He starts to feel tired, yawning and rubbing his eyes.

“Looks like someone ready for their nap” Dean says walking back into the library with something in his hand. Sam startled when he spoke, he'd been so lost in thought he hadn't heard him come in. He warily watches Dean approach. “Did you have fun with your new toys” Dean asks prompting Sam to look at Dean as though he'd lost his mind. “Dude I pushed the buttons only to see what would happen and by the way I'm cable of counting to 5” Sam scoffs. Dean ignores the last part of Sam's sentence deciding only to focus on the first part. 

“So you like to push the buttons huh baby? We’ll get more toys with buttons, lights and sounds.” Sam grimaces at that but gets an idea. 

“Yeah Dean, I would really love to push some buttons, right now and you know what has a lot of buttons and lights too and very educational for me?” Sam asks in a purposely over excited voice. Dean looks at him unamused, knowing where this is going “a laptop, more importantly my laptop” Sam finishes. 

“Cute Sammy but laptops are for grown ups” Dean smiles as he reaches down for Sam. Sam deflates and allows Dean to pick him without struggle nor attitude.

They walk back to the nursery where Dean sits on the large plush armchair arranging Sam on his lap. Cradling him comfortably in his arms he finally shows Sam what he had in his hand. It's a bottle of milk and he proceeds to lower it to Sammy who clamps his lips down. “No way” he thinks “there's no way in hell I'm drinking that. This has gone on far enough and has to stop now. This is where I make my stand. Dean can beat me black and blue, but I'll be damned if I drink from that bottle. 

“Come on Sammy is not that bad, you know you really want to baby” Dean coaxes. Sam looks up at him puzzled but doesn't attempt to ask what the hell Dean means. Oh, he wants to but he knows what will happen if he opens his mouth.

Dean hears Sam thoughts and smiles warmly at Sam. He's not going to trick Sam this time because this time Sam will willingly take the bottle. He knows what he needs to do and begins to rock in the armchair holding the bottle off to the side while he caresses his fingers through Sammy’s hair. He speaks softly “remember when Dad decided to wean you off the bottle you were two and you were so inconsolable it took me and Dad turns to rock you to sleep every night for seven days. You can imagine how that was with Dad trying to hunt. One night it was 3 am and I was so tired but you wouldn't stop crying. You'd stop but start up again every 5 minutes. Dad came home and showered quickly then took you in his arms and told me to get some sleep. I was so exhausted that I went to bed and blanked out. When I woke up later Dad was asleep in his bed with you by his side, and do you know what you were holding? Your bottle, Dad never threw it away. In my six year old mind I thought 'oh if we don’t see each other breaking and giving in then it's still okay to give you a bottle.'”

Sam looks at Dean not understanding “don’t most toddlers take couples of weeks or months to completely, wean off? he thinks. Dean, still hearing Sammy's thoughts, muses “true but like I said I believed as long as Dad didn’t see then it was okay to give you a bottle when you needed to be comforted, put down for a nap or at bed time” Dean gave Sam a knowing smile. 

Sam knew where Dean was going with this and drop his face to hide from Dean. Sam was 5 when he finally stopped the bottle because some 1st grader made fun of him for being a cry baby. He knows it wasn't his fault. After attending Stanford he read up on psychology topics, in particular broken home topics and co-dependent issues. He'd wondered about some of his quirks and what other 18 year olds would consider weird and freaky behavior. He did research when he needed to make sense of chaos or subjects that he needed answers to. So after long hours and note taking, his behavior made sense to him finally. Growing up he'd shown classic symptoms of not having a stable environment or a mother so of course it would make sense that he would go past the normal stages of bottles weaning and other stuff he needed to suck on, it had given him a sense of comfort and stress relief. 

“Sam its okay to derive comfort from drinking from a bottle. Why would you deny yourself the simple joy of indulging and forgetting for a moment the heavy burden of this world especially if it brings you a sense of peace and happiness you haven’t felt in a long time?” Dean asks still rocking Sam and caressing his hair. When he closes his eyes and starts to hum a melody, Sam peeks up recognizing the “Metallica- The unforgiven” tune. 

A sense of nostalgia washes over Sam and he feels completely relaxed for the first time in a long time. A sense of Déjà vu of home fills him. Dean, John and the impala were always home. No matter where they were their scent and warmth always made Sam feel safe, loved and protected which is why he could always relax and fall asleep whenever they were around. He had nothing to worry about the big bad things out there, they were not going to get him.  
Sam feels himself getting sleepy, his eyes lids droop and he feels a nudge to his lips. He automatically opens them and an old familiar feeling comes over him causing him to start sucking. The moment the milk hits his tongue, he jerks awake from his haze and quickly looks up to see the bottle feeling the rubber nipple is inside his mouth.

“What happened when did he….??? Sam feels panic bubble to the surface.

“'S okay Sammy. Nothing to worry about, relax, don’t fight it just let it come naturally to you, like you just did a few minutes ago” Dean's voice is gentle and soothing, rocking him.

Sam feels like he’s slipping and sliding inside, a roll of emotions washing over and enveloping him. Part of him is tried just wanting to let go and be happy in Dean’s arms like he used to, the other part is scared thinking “what’s happening to me?”

Dean just keeps rocking and starts sing softly and slowly. Sam stops panicking and look in wonder at Dean. The crib mobile turns on by itself and plays as Dean begins to sing the words to the only Lullaby Sam has known:

“Hey Jude, don't make it bad  
Take a sad song and make it better  
Remember to let her into your heart  
Then you can start to make it better  
Hey Jude, don't be afraid  
You were made to go out and get her  
The minute you let her under your skin  
Then you begin to make it better

And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain  
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders  
For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool  
By making his world a little colder  
Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah

Dean was not singing off key, but beautifully and soothingly. Sam's heart and soul were in sync and his heart swelled with pure adoration and love for his big brother.

His whole face takes on content soft look. His eyes take on an innocent childlike quality full of wonder. He cuddles closer to Dean and makes a soft sighing sound as he drinks his bottle. There's no fuss, he's pliant and happy with his eyes eyes closed.  
Within 15 minutes Sam is asleep and Dean carefully maneuvers himself up without waking him. He walks to the crib, the bar slowly lowering on its own. Dean carefully settles Sam down and pulls the baby blue blanket up to his shoulder. He steps back and raises the crib bar back up. Dean looks happily down at a sound asleep Sam and then quietly tiptoes out. 

As he knew he would be, Castiel is waiting for Dean just outside the nursery. “How’s Sam doing?” he asks.  
Dean runs a hand through his hair as he thinks for a moment before answering. “Well, you were right. So far this has helped me a lot. I thought it would be weird when you first approached and brought it up but I always knew Sammy was a special, and not in the dark way Azazel and Lucifer wanted us to believe or have Sam to think.” Dean's blood boils remembering what they put his baby brother through. “The Mark completely is sated there is no more urge or restless to kill something” he concludes.

“Well if we have to thank someone, it's Hannah. Had she not mentioned how you raised Sam and always kept him in line growing-up,I would have forgotten the number one thing that always defeats darkness” Castiel smiles at Dean. “But Sam is as still far off from accepting his new role?” Castiel finishes.

“I know Cas, but lets get back to business. Why are you really here?” Dean gives a knowing smile to Cas. 

Cas sighs “I didn't want to ruin the moment and you are not going to like it. I need your help Dean.”

Dean smiles brightly “when don’t you?” He throws an arm around Cas and starts walking to the kitchen with him, “let’s grab a beer first and some sandwiches. 

I’m starving before you start telling me what’s going on.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you all like Chapter 6, working on chapter 7 now this will have Sam attempting his first escape, and finding out the harsh truth of a certain Angel Sam prayed to for help only regretting later, when he find himself back in his room.


	7. Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam first attempt at escaping and finding out the angels involvement too.

Chapter 7: Escape!

Once again Sam finds himself enveloped in warmth and comfort upon awaking. He smiles contently and nuzzles his warm blanket against his cheek. His lips purse outward, he sucks air and realizes he’s missing something. His face contorts to a frown and he makes a unhappy sound. His mind is hazy and he feels an unsettling discomfort come over him as searches with his mouth and mind for what he's missing. As he tries to find out why he is so unhappy he's not sure if he whimpers out “I… need, I want, where… is my…my …my…Binky?”

Sam’s mind finally fully awakes after that last thought making him sit up fast and alert!  
“What the? Did I just???” Sam scrubs his face with his hands “did I just voice that thought?” he wonders.  
He breaks out in a sweat. He wonders where the thought came from and why he was even at ease with it when he awoke. Like it was all natural and normal he realizes.

Cold dread comes over Sam as his subconscious mind whispers “conditioning.” “No, no, no, no, no,… no way in hell,” he thinks. He needs to get the fuck out, like right now!

He crawls quickly over to the bars, sees the two buttons in the middle and reaches up to press them inward to lower them. He swings his legs over and hops off. He lands and then, kerplunk, he falls flat on his face. “Okay, didn't see that coming,” he thinks as he sits up. His legs feel a bit weak like he been running under water and just came out, the muscles are shaking and his circulation is numb. He does a self-assessment and realizes that its normal considering the past 2 days he has not really been on his feet, what with Dean carrying him and all.

He quickly runs his hands up and down his legs to get the circulation going then brings his legs up and does a few air bicycling moves. When he feels them warming up a bit he stops and leans over to the crib to grab the side and pulls himself up.  
He still has a slight shake but feels stronger as he stand up his full height to take his first steps. Everything seems okay so he starts walking towards the door then stops. He very slowly lifts his hand to the door knob and twists ever so slowly. When there's no click Sam sighs in relief.   
He slowly opens the door a crack to peek out. Seeing nothing outside he gently opens it more, slowly sticking his head out to look left and right. Seeing that the coast is clear, he walks with his back against the wall. He moves quickly but silently. 

He pauses before reaching Dean’s door, it’s open and he peers around the corner. It’s empty, he's about to pass by but stops and looks down at himself. Maybe a change of clothes is in order. It should only take a minute he reasons as he walks quickly over to Dean's dresser. He’s about to open the bottom drawers but pauses looking over his shoulder. He grabs the sheet of paper that is on the dresser and the pen on the nightstand next to it. He quickly scribbles something down, studies it frowning then smiles and adds one last line.

Opening the drawers he is rewarded with on old pair of black sweats. Although they might be a bit short on him it's better than what he is wearing now. He opens the next drawer up and grabs one of Dean’s t-shirts which will be fitted on him.  
He reaches down and unbuttons the overall shorts straps letting them down around his legs before he steps out of them. Now is the embarrassing part, he reaches between his legs and grabs the center of the onesie to unsnap the metal buttons…nothing…. they seemed stuck. “Okay,” Sam looks up with a grimace and rolls his shoulders. He tries again and pulls a little harder, one buttons snaps and the rest tears a bit. It's not the first time he has had to rip his clothes but this one time he will relish it.

He grabs the half hanging flap, he pulls ripping it off completely and smiles. He grabs the sweats, pulling them on but stops half way as realizes he still has on the stupid diaper. Upon seeing the diaper his bladder reminds him that he needs to go “great” he thinks “I'll need to make bathroom pit stop before leaving.” He drops the sweats which pool at his feet. As he grabs the tabs he hears someone clear their throat.  
Sam swallows slowly, straightens up and turns around. Dean is leaning against the doorway.

“Does someone want to play dress up?” Dean asks with a smile.  
Sam blushes, wanting to cover up since he is only wearing a diaper, having not had the chance to pull on the sweats and shirt. The collar of the onesie he tore is hanging loosely around his neck. “No” he mumbles in reply. “I'm not a little kid and I don't play dress up” he adds with a petulant glare.   
“Are you sure you're not playing dress up?” Dean asks with a frown “that's what it looks like to me. I mean you can't possibly be doing anything else can you?” He pauses before adding “you know, like deciding to do something naughty.” Dean leaves the rest unsaid.   
Sam looks blankly at him so Dean changes tactics and steps into the room “are you okay?” Dean asks sounding concerned, “I thought I heard you wake up and make some sad sounds.” 

Sam doesn't answer but takes a step back “what?.” He looks confused for a second before it dawns on him that Dean must have heard him through the monitor on the crib. “Damn stupid mistake”, he thinks “should have covered it.” “No, uh I’m find Dean, just stretching, that’s what you probably heard” he replies trying to sound sure of himself.

Dean takes another step forward and Sam takes a step back. They continue until Sam feels the wall behind his back.  
Sam grabs the paper that he left on the dresser as Dean raises a questioning eyebrow. “I don’t want to use this Dean but I will” Sam says with a firm voice.  
“It’s okay, Sammy”, Dean says putting his hands up in a placating gesture as he steps up to Sam. Sam gives Dean an ”I’m sorry” look and without hesitating slams the piece a paper on Dean's chest. Before Dean can react there is flash of light and he feels himself being hurled backwards to slam against the wall in the hall way.

Sam had drawn a devil’s trap but extroverted it. It was something he found while in the lower basement of the bunker where there was a whole bookshelf of all types of devils trap drawings with an explanation for each. This one repels demons and came in handy if the whole exorcism couldn't be said and the victim needed to be saved. It expelled the demon but left only a few seconds before it locked on to another body. Since Dean wasn't possessed it had flung him although Sam had not been expecting it to happen with that much force.

Sam is shocked as he can’t believe it worked. He runs over to Dean who is slumped on the floor. Worried that it might have had hurt Dean, Sam checks for any damages but sees none. He sits next to Dean for about a minute biting his lower lip and feeling a bit guilty. He finally make the decision to move, he grabs the sweats and pulls them on over the diaper which he’ll take off once he’s out of the bunker since he doesn't know how long Dean will be out. As he is walking he pulls on the black shirt, it’s a bit snug, but comfortable enough. He walks purposely down the corridor to the elevator that takes him to the garage below.  
He steps off the elevators and sees his car keys hanging on the wall with other keys and smiles.

As Sam slides into the Camaro, he inserts the key into the ignition and quickly turns it making the Camaro come to life. He pulls his legs in and stops noticing that he is still wearing the damn soft green baby shoes. “Okay, driving with these on will be a new experience” he thinks. “I've driven with bare feet and with socks before so this shouldn’t be any different” he reassures himself. He slams the door shut and puts the car into first gear. He pulls out of the garage and drives down the dirt path where he puts the car in second gear to zoom ahead. After driving for 10 minutes he closes his eyes briefly and whispers “Castiel”.

He hears the flutter of wings followed by “Sam what is wrong?”  
Sam huffs out a laugh at Castiel’s question, he looks to his right to the passenger seat where Cas is sitting. “That’s a loaded question” Sam replies sarcastically. 

Castiel looks at him confused. “Never mind Cas, just really glad you here. You’ll never guess where I’ve been.”

“I thought you were with Dean?” Cas replies. 

“Yeah I was, but…” Sam trails off and looks at Cas, “how did you know?”

“It’s where I just came from” Cas intones.

“Wh wh, what, wait, you were at the Bunker?” Sam blinks at Cas looking back and forth from the road to him.

“I sense you are a bit distressed” Cas tells Sam.

“A BIT?! CAS did you look around and see anything out of the ordinary” Sam shouts exasperatedly.

“No” Castiel answers. “No?” Sam echoes.

“Sam you seem upset, perhaps you should stop the car?”

“No, I am driving until I reach the next town” Sam states squirming a bit and try to re-adjust his sitting as he drives. “Or at least until I get to a gas station” he thinks to himself.

“Sam, I don’t think Dean will be too happy with you driving to a gas station.”

Sam wonders if something is off as he glances at Castiel. He gulps and asks “you spoke with Dean?”

“Yes, we were in the kitchen in the middle of discussing Heaven’s gates when we heard you waking up” Cas replies calmly.

Sam’s hands begin to sweat, his skin prickles with trepidation and his stomach turns to ice. He licks his lips before asking the next questions, watching Castiel out of the corner of his eyes.

“So you were in the kitchen with Dean and uh” he swallows “um aware of where I was?”  
Sam keeps his eyes on the road, hoping beyond hope that Castiel does not answer what he thinks he will answer.

“Of course Sam, Dean made sure to have the baby monitor on the loudest setting” the blue eyed angel responds staring at Sam.

Sam starts to breathe heavily, in out, not knowing where he’s going now or what will happen. He wishes he had something to ward or protect himself from Cas. Sam almost laughs at the last thought. He feels like he is in another of Gabriel's joke television shows or alternate universe reality and he's the last one in on the joke. 

It hits Sam that he has no one to blame but himself. He opened himself up to being re-captured. How stupid could he be…he thinks about everything his dad and Dean had taught him about hunting and escaping when captured. He'd researched and retained all the details and it was the last one that he'd forgotten. Dean had mentioned to him the day before those angels had helped remolded his room. And here he was calling for Cas- his brother’s best friend- of course Cas would be in on this! He can feel the frustration, anger at himself and tears welling up at the same time.

“Sam” Castiel voice startles Sam from his thoughts and he look down at his arm where Cas has placed a hand.

“I can see you are emotionally unsettled and upset…”

“Oh Cas I’m past upset” Sam huffs out between a laugh and a teary voice.

“I think it’s time to go home Sam.” 

“You think…” Sam laughs… “do I get a choice?” he asks softly.

“No” Castiel sighs dropping his hand from Sam's arm.

Sam really does not know whether he wants to laugh or cry. He doesn't slow down the car though. He wants to think he can get further but knows it’s useless. He waits to see what Cas' next move is.

“Dean can track you right now, can’t he?” Sam asks.

“Yes, but I asked him to give me the chance to bring you back home” Cas explains.

Sam nods his head understanding as he grips the wheel tighter “your move Cas.”  
Castiel really looks apologetic and Sam nods his acknowledgment. 

“Hannah you may proceed’ 

Sam looks quickly in the review mirror and sees the black haired female angel. “Of course” Sam thinks “Cas doesn't have enough angel juice to do what Hannah is about to do.” He can’t help but slam his hand on the steering wheel and his eyes spill over with tears. He angrily wipes them away.

The female looks at Sam with sympathy in her eyes as she reaches out with her hand to rest it on Sam’s shoulder. Sam tenses and waits. When nothing happens, he looks up and Hannah gives him a look “it'll be easier and safer if you pull the car over” she informs him. Before Sam can get any other ideas Hannah tells him 

“no Sam, I can still do it I was just thinking you didn’t want the car to crash.”

Sam shoulders slump and he pulls the car over to the side of the road. He puts his head down on the steering wheel and when he looks back up, he looking through the crib rails. Cas and Hannah are on the other side causing Sam to bristle with anger. 

“So how long have you two known?” he asks angrily. “Could you be more specific?” Hannah asks her head tilted to one side looking genuinely puzzled.  
Sam looks at them incredulous and spread his arms out “MORE SPECIFIC THAN THIS?” he shouts. 

Cas immediately understands what Sam is asking and informs Hannah. “Ah yes, he means his current situation how long have we known about it.” “I don't think so Castiel, a situation would means there is an ending insight, a resolution. Sam’s predicament is a permanent fixture “Hannah replies to Castiel's statement. “You are correct my apologies” Cas offers.

Sam can't believe what he's hearing, he looks back and forth between them “are they serious?” he thinks. Then Hannah's last statement hits him. “Wait, wait, permanent fixture?” He looks at both angels confusion clearly showing his eyes.

“Yes Sam” Castiel replies. “Was he not told”? Hannah whispers to Cas as though Sam was not in the room.

“Okay, this is getting weird, especially talking through the bars” Sam decides and crawls over to the rail to lower it. He swings his legs over and jumps down. Cas and Hannah are at his side in an instant making to help him. He steps back holding out his hands “stop, I can stand on my own” he practically yells.

“You are getting upset Sam” Hannah says before turning to Cas “maybe I should inform Dean to come in now?” she asks. 

Sam whips his head at that “no! Look, see, I’ve calmed down” Sam says, eyes pleading with Cas. “Just tell me what is going on, how are you guys involved and for how long.”

Cas looks at him and nods, “why don’t you sit down?” Sam agrees and leans on the crib bedding.  
“You wanted a way to save Dean and satiate the Mark, this is what we have come up with, you actually gave us the idea.”

Sam tries to understand and nods before waving his arms around “this is what you came up with? Changing my room into a nursery, having Dean humiliate me by taking over my decisions and having me wear….wear…” Sam can’t say the word so he quickly pulls the sweatpants to flash a part of the diaper he is still wearing “I think I'd know if I gave you an idea like this” he finishes with a puff.

Castiel is studying Sam and answers very carefully “the day you saw Dean for the first time after he’d been missing for a week, you were in that storage facilities. You were on your way because you heard of Demon activity, right?”

“I know I told you about it.”

“No, Hannah and I were there also” Sam looks confused so Castiel explains further “we were invisible to you and Dean.”

“Why?”

“I wanted to see something for myself and, if possible, confirm the rumors of Dean being turned into a Knight of hell.” 

“Wait you knew and didn’t tell me right away?! I prayed to you when Dean first disappeared! I get Crowley not answering the summons, but you deliberately ignoring me?!” Sam sounds hurt.

“Sam I am sorry but at the time I was grieving myself and would not have been much help to you and Heaven was in disarray after Metatron was captured. Then three days later rumors circled Heaven that a new Knight of Hell had risen. We sent Jacob to track Crowley and report back his findings. Two days later he found Crowley and reported what he saw and heard. Just like you, I was shocked to hear what had happened to Dean and I was ready to go to you once I heard, but the rest of his report gave me pause. Had I not waited to listen to the rest, I would only had brought you sad and bad news.” Sam waited for Cas to finish.

“Sam there had only been one answer from the moment I saw the Mark on Dean that first time. His death before the mark would corrupt him but by the time Metatron stabbed him, he’d already been transforming, if you recall. So when he died I should have realized that it was only a transitional death. Killing Dean helped the mark completely take over, or so I thought. When you reminded Dean that Cain killed for 2,000 years but then stopped because of Collette, you asked him what would keep Dean from going mad since he did not have anyone. But he did Sam.”

“I don't understand how that explains what's happening now” Sam says looking perplexed.

“Cain had Collette, the love he felt for her changed him and made him able to stop” Cas explains. Sam's stomach turns when he starts to get the picture.

“Can you imagine how much more Dean’s love for you is, you have been his, since the day you were entrusted to him when he ran with you in his arms from the fire that engulfed your home. The final proof for me that Dean was still somewhat in control was the confrontation you had with him in the warehouse. He could have kill you instead chose to let you live. Love had always been the answer Sam, we can’t remove the Mark but we can completely satiate it” Castiel finishes.

“Guys, I love my big brother and all and I would do anything to save him but this? This can’t be the only answer you’ve come up with! I mean Dean can still be here with me. why this weird game?” Sam asks.

“It’s not a game” Hannah repiles, “it’s a lifestyle, that has saved Dean and has kept you from causing more trouble and from getting yourself into trouble.” 

“Wait, what? Keep me out of trouble?” Sam doesn't understand.

Castiel sights “Sam you went off the rails during the last four months doing things you normally would never do.”

“You're one to talk! Remember a little stint, oh I don’t know, playing God and swallowing Leviathans?! Or Let’s not forget Dean’s track records of making rash decisions when it involves me dying! You don’t see me suggesting to put you guys in time out” Sam yells.

Cas understands where Sam is coming from and see how upset he is so he decides a different approach to get Sam to pause and think.

“You are correct Sam. Dean and I both have made decisions out of desperation instead of being rational. What helped was when we listened to people who could see the situation from the outside. Dean and I have both owned up to our mistakes and tried to make amends. But you would not listen to me or Hannah when we told you that you'd been acting, shall we say, irresponsible and neglectful of your safety and well-being. When you would not listen and refused to talk about it we decided there was only one option left. It’s been proven in the past the only person you ever listen to is Dean.”

Sam bit his lip as he listened to Cas' speech. It felt like a lecture and it didn't help that Hannah was looking at Sam like he'd done something really bad. 

“Okay, I might have crossed some lines here and there these past few months. Maybe I did lose sight of my health but, I still don’t see…ok maybe I do….wait that’s not what I meant” Sam says feeling like he was floundering. He wants to go back to sleep and start the whole day again for some strange reason.

Castiel pauses a moment to gather his thoughts before attempting to answer. He doesn't want to upset Sam by choosing the wrong words. He wants to reassure him that this is good for him and that he needs it. The boundaries and structure are something that a part of him yearns for. “I understand that you are not quite sure that you want this, but why hesitate? Humans call it 'age play' and from my research I found that some people take joy and comfort from it. We naturally thought this would make you finally feel safe and comfortable to be in your natural state of mind, without trying to hide it any longer.”

“MY What?!” Sam shrieks.

“Your natural state of mind” Castiel repeats.

Sam looks between the two angels trying to analyze what they just said. “Why does everyone keep insisting, that I am this eternal child?”

Hannah looks at Sam in surprise and replies “you are really not aware of your soul are you?” She receives a blank stare from Sam.

“Sam have you noticed that since the day I met you, or any other angel that has come in contact with you, we have always acknowledged your status?”

“What do you mean?” Sam looks confused.

“There has never been a time where any angel, including myself, has not greeted you with a hello child, kid, or boy. We or shall I say heaven and hell have never made a reference to you as an adult” Hannah finishes.

“Yeah I remember but I always thought you guys were just being sarcastic or insulting” Sam pouts crossing his arms.

“Sam if you could see with our eyes or with Deans’ eyes you would see your true soul form” Hannah gives him a warm smile to Sam’s questioning eyes.

“Just as angels and demons have a true form, so do souls. Yours represents an eternal innocent child despite the demon blood that ran through your veins. It’s why you feel the need to be close to Dean for love, comfort and protection. He’s always been the parent in this relationship, your guardian and protector” she finishes with a smiles as though that would make what she's just said better.

“Why?” Sam askes.

Now it's Hannah and Cas' turn to be confused “Why what?”

“Why is my soul that way or was created that way?”

Before either angel can reply Dean speaks up “thanks guys I’ll take it from here.”

Sam lifts his head and looks over to the doorway Dean is standing in. Sam's immediate impulse is to run but there's nowhere to go as he is inside the room with no other exit.

Dean strides forward. Sam sees the look on his face and quickly stands behind Cas.  
Cas looks amused. Sam had just insisted he was not a child but he was acting like one now. Dean reaches around Cas and grabs Sam by the elbow and pulls him forward. Sam stumbles a bit but Dean catches him and pulls him up into his arms and places him on his hip.

“Dean!” Sam yells and starts to push against him.

“Sammy, stop” Dean warns making Sam instantly stop his struggle. “This is so embarrassing” he thinks. He can’t face Cas or Hannah so he drops his head onto 

Dean’s shoulder thinking that it shouldn’t this easy for Dean to hold him on his hip. “It's as though I'm small instead of 6’4. For crying out loud Dean is only 6’1 and some centimeters” he thinks a little hysterically.

“Thanks guys for bringing Sammy home” Dean says rubbing Sam's back as he speaks with Castiel and Hannah. “Cas, I promise to discuss with you later the details I was able to pick up on your grace, after I feed Sam his lunch and put him down for an afternoon nap.”

Hannah looks a bit upset and Dean apologizes to her “I’m sorry Hannah I know this is important but unfortunately I was not expecting Sammy to have a mini adventure. That knocks us off schedule, otherwise I would have had everything ready for you and Cas.”

Sam is about to feel bad about what he just heard, but then thinks “did I just hear right? They were discussing a case and researching without me?” He lifts his head from Dean’s shoulder and starts to turn towards them until Dean holds him in place. 

“Settle down Sammy, you are in enough trouble as it is. We will discuss your behavior later” Dean’s tone leaves no room for argument.

Sam feels himself burn bright red, being scolded by Dean in front of Cas and Hannah. He wants to rest his head back on Dean’s shoulder but he'll be damned if he's going to let Dean chastise him in front of others and embarrass him as he sits rigid in Dean’s arms. Then he realizes he's not just sitting rigid because he's angry but because his bladder is making it’s presences known that it's full. He's been holding it as long as he can and he really needs to get to a bathroom now.

He needs to get down and go, so he shifts and squirm in Dean’s arms. Dean moves him up a bit more and realizing Sam is getting restless, so he'd better wrap things up with Cas and Hannah.

“So I better get started, but if you come back today after 8 pm we can begin again without interruptions.”  
“  
Of course Dean thank you again. I know it’s a been a bit difficult and once again we are asking for your help.”

“No don’t worry about it Cas, that what friends are for…” before he can continue Sam hisses out between his teeth “Dean!” and tries to get out of Dean’s hold. 

“Sammy” Dean’s voice contains a warning note.

“Please Dean” Sam whispers in a distressed voice.

“What baby?” the warning tone is gone and he now sounds concerned.

Castiel picks up on Sam’s distress and thoughts and immediately looks at Hannah “it’s time for us to go now Hannah. We will see you later Dean” and with that the angels leave.

Dean turns his full attention to Sam now that Cas and Hannah were gone. Sam is relieved that the angels have left and tries to put his legs down yelling “Dean please, I have to go!”

“Go? Go where?”

“Are you kidding me…to the bathroom!” 

“Oh Sammy that what the diaper is for.”

Sam stills at Dean’s answer “you can’t be serious?”

“I don’t see what the problem is you’ve already used it once.” Sam reddens at Dean’s comment saying “that was an accident. I was mentally exhausted and in deep sleep, after weeks of sleep deprivation. I wasn't aware of it happening” through gritted teeth. “There's no way in hell I’m doing it on purpose! Now let me go Dean.”

Dean readies himself for another challenge with Sam. He walks over to the armchair and settles down with Sam, comfortably seated across his lap.  
Sam looks confused and he tries to get up but Dean holds him on place. “Dean please” Sam whispers feeling the pressure and pain start to build in his bladder.

“S’okay Sammy just relax” he says as he shifts Sam so he can rub his back in an effort to offer comfort. He knows that this will be hard for Sam.  
Sam whimpers when he feels that he can’t hold it in much longer. He squirms wanting so badly to get out of Dean’s hold and run to the bathroom. “Is that too much to ask for?” he screams to himself as his grip tightens on Dean's shoulder trying to hold onto some small speck of dignity.

“I know it’s hurting baby just let it go.”  
“No” Sam whispers softly but with pain “please Dean don’t do this.” Sam wants to fight Dean but any movement will make him explode. All he can do is try to cross his legs a bit longer.

“This is not healthy Sammy, you need to let go now, you can give yourself an infection.”  
Sam laughs through tears “you think? So how about you just let me go?” Dean sighs and re-adjusts Sam across his lap. Sam is hoping that Dean is going to let him go until he feels Dean’s hand rub his lower abdomen gently but firmly. Sam’s eyes widen and he tries to twist away. 

“Dean stop!” Sam yelps but Dean just holds him in place with one hand and continues to massage Sam’s tummy.  
Sam feels tears of frustration building up as he struggles. “Damn okay. Maybe I shouldn't have neglected eating and working out I normally do” he promises whoever is listening out there to his prayers. He promises he’ll eat good again, he’ll sleep, he’ll take better care of his mind body and soul “in return just please don’t let him lose this one thing, please” he whispers silently in his mind. 

He realizes it was for naught as he feels the first spurt break from his bladder. “Nooo” he moans softly to himself. As soon as he feels the first spurt it's a losing battle for him and he feels justified in holding and hitting Dean at the same time. “This is his fault” he reasons as he feels the jet of pee hiss out and filled the diaper. 

The pressure finally eases in his bladder and he feels instant relief but humiliation at the same time. His pounding fist on Dean shoulder also weakens. Finally realizing he has tears streaming down his face, he collapses in Dean’s arms allowing his brother to shift him closer to cuddle and give him nonsensical soothing words.

“S’okay baby, such a good baby, you did so good” Dean speaks softly to Sam   
Sam just cries into Dean not wanting him to let go, not wanting the comfort to end. He feels very vulnerable and embarrassed.  
Dean just keeps rubbing his back and waiting for Sam’s sobs to subside until he's hiccuping. He also notices that Sam is sucking on his thumb but doesn't bring it to his attention knowing it's a nervous habit that Sam had until he was 12. He'd mostly stopped but he knows that Sam still did it on occasion when he was stressed out and thought no one was looking or he'd unconsciously bite his thumb when a case stumped him.

Dean stands with Sam in his arms and walks over to the changing table. When he tries to put him down he's rewarded with a death grip on him. “Okay, no problem” Dean thinks. He walks over to the crib and reaches for the stuffed dog, an exact duplicate of the stuffed dog Sam had when he was a toddler. The one he'd lost in the fire at Sam and Jess apartment.

“Hey Sammy, wanna do me a favor?” Dean asks gently to Sam who is still hugging him tight. Sam just sniffles at Dean’s question.

“Why don’t you hold on to this for me?” Sam carefully turns his head to the side and sees what Dean is holding. He doesn’t know why but he reaches for the dog and pulls it in close.

“Thank you” Dean tells him as they walk back over to the changing table. This time Dean is able to place Sam down on the changing table. Before Dean does anything else he pulls out one of the many pacifiers he has in one of the drawers and places it inside Sam's mouth without any fuss from Sam this time. He reaches up to Sam waist and pulls off his sweat pants. He undoes the wet diaper and pulls it off. Dean grabs one the baby wipes and proceeds to wipe his baby brother’s bottom clean. Once he's completely satisfied that Sam is fully wiped down he grabs a fresh diaper and slips it under Sam. Next he grabs the baby ointment and spreads it over Sam privates and then sprinkles some baby powder lightly over too.

He pulls the front of the diaper up and secures it with the tabs making sure its snug and comfortable for Sammy with a quick check by running his fingers around the leg area of the diaper and adjusting it too. “Perfect” Dean thinks as he looks at Sam seeing him holding on tightly to the dog and sucking his pacifier. He's surprised to see Sammy staring at him instead of having his eyes closed.

Dean smiles at his baby brother “hey buddy ready to get some lunch?” Sam nods slowly. “Ok, let’s get you into something comfortable” Dean reaches to remove the AC/DC black shirt Sam but Sam automatically hugs the shirt and looks at Dean with pleading eyes.  
Dean chuckles a bit remembering that when Sam was little, he'd surround himself with comforts that represented home and love to him. Sometimes that meant Dean’s shirts or one of their dad’s older flannels.

“Okay, you can keep that on for now Sammy even if it’s a little snug. Lets get some overalls on ya though” Dean says grabbing the jean overalls he had on the side. He pulls them on Sam who's completely docile as watches Dean the whole time. When Dean finally buttons the last strap, he helps Sam sit up and Sam looks down at the colorful train design on the front pocket of the overall. He reaches up to touch it gingerly and looks at Dean. 

Dean smiles and reaches for Sam who automatically extends his arms towards Dean. Dean is surprised but happy. He picks Sam up and they head out of the nursery into the kitchen with no fuss from Sam. He sits him in the beige and blue cushion high chair, straps him and clicks the tray in.

Sam keeps hugging the stuff dog and sucking on his blue pacifier. Dean walks over to the fridge pulls out some bread, peanut butter and strawberry jelly to make Sam a sandwich which he cuts into triangles before placing it onto the plastic plate with stars and dividers. He grabs an already peeled and sliced apple plus some carrots sticks.

 

He places the plate on the tray and Sam looks at Dean as he reaches carefully to grab one of the small triangles. He pauses as he realizes he still has his pacifier in and looks up to Dean for help. Dean smiles and takes out the pacifier and places it on the tray next to Sam’s plate.  
Sam nibbles on the sandwich at first before placing the whole thing in his mouth realizing he's really hungry. “Thank God Dean made me two sandwiches” he thinks as he inhales the rest of his lunch.

To his dismay he hears Dean laugh a bit “well someone really has a big appetite.” Sam blushes red remembering his current situation then he feels something damp cover his face. He blinks up to see Dean sighing when he sees that he has a wash cloth. He wipes the crumbs off Sam’s lips before wiping Sam’s hands.

Sam is a bit embarrassed because he realizes he did eat kind of messily, like some kind of messy toddler. He doesn't know what is going on in his head anymore and the more he tries to think the more his brain just wants to shut down. He reminds himself he's just too tired to fight right now. He feels like he's in a daze and has done since Dean made him use the diaper. He feels ashamed at the memory, not because Dean forced him to use it, but because afterward a part of him felt content to just let go and let Dean take care of him like he was a… a.. an infant. He can feel this side of him bubbling under the surface so happy to have Dean hold him, take care of him, clean and change him and take all his worries away. It made him feel so good and relaxed no tension in him what so ever.

Dean breaks Sam from his thoughts “hey Sammy, how about you finish your juice and then we can go to the living room for some downtime?”  
Sam looks down and sees another sippy cup. This one looks even more infantile than the last. “Please Dean” Sam whispers.

“What sweetheart?” Dean's voice sounds concerned.

“Di’fent cup” Sam mumbles.

Dean smiles at Sam’s cute vocabulary, “Sammy, no, just finish your apple juice and then we can head over to the living room” Dean gently chides him.

Sam scowls at Dean. “Great, fine” he thinks “so maybe I shouldn’t complain since wasn’t I was just sucking on the pacifier a few moments ago. That was different though” he thinks “because I just wanted the whole diaper fiasco forgotten and what better way to move it along faster than to just going along with it?” 

Sam takes a deep breath and reaches for the stupid cup “huh” he wonders “where did Dean find such a large sippy cup for my hand to be able to hold easily?” As he lifts it towards his mouth he stops and blinks, “duh” he thinks, “it’s big enough for me to hold”, he drops the dog and reaches with his other hand to untwist the top so he can drink it like a regular cup. Sam smiles to himself “point one win for me”.

Dean sighs as he watches Sam trying to untwist the top from the cup, “the key word is try” Dean thinks “Sam is about to get a surprise”. Sam gives a quick twist to the top only to notice it doesn't twist. He grips tighter and tries again only he gets the same result.

“It shouldn’t be this hard” Sam thinks, then he sees Dean looking at him arms crossed in front of his chest. Sam narrows his eyes putting two and two together.

“What did you do to the cup” Sam asks angrily.

“I didn’t do anything to it” Dean reaches for the cup and untwists it easily “see” he says. He twists it shut before handing it back to Sam who tries again and fails. 

“You obviously did something to it” Sam yells now clearly upset “otherwise I should be able to untwist it. I know I’m not that weak” he finishes sullenly.

“It’s been baby proofed” Dean answers looking at Sam’s sullen look.

“What” he looks confused.

“After the stunt you pulled, which could have gotten you hurt had Cas and Hannah not been close by, they went ahead and baby proof the whole bunker.”

“Baby proof the whole…wait…wait. They cast some angel mojo spell so that what ….I can’t uh unlock door or something?”

“Something like that” Dean shrugs.

“Something like that!” Sam voice is incredulous “so now what, you guys are planning keeping prisoner here?”

“No, they are making sure you don’t get hurt while you are on the mend” Dean says.

“By locking down the whole bunker against me!?”

“No, by baby proofing the whole bunker” Dean repeats carefully. Sam's expression is confused.

“That means anything like cabinets, drawers, doors and thing any normal toddler can get into mischief or hurt with” Dean further explains to Sam.

Sam looks above as if asking for strength “okay how can me untwisting a stupid juice cap be dangerous?” Sam asks between his teeth.

“Untwisting any cap like medicine or thing with smaller caps can get swallowed easily” Dean explains matter of fact.

“So the spell is just general? How comes it doesn’t affect you opening up the cap?” Sam asks brows furrowed.

“No, the spell is designed to detect any child-like/innocent entity or presence” Dean smiles.

“That doesn’t make sense!” Sam yells ending in a huff.

“Sure it does Sammy” Dean smiles “just don’t think on it too hard” he teases Sam.

“You’re a jerk” Sam huffs.

“Wee bitch” Dean replies automatically “lets get you settled in the living room. You might enjoy your juice while watching a movie?”

Dean removs the tray and unstraps Sam from the high chair. He lifts Sam up and they walk to the living room. He sits Sam on the couch and walks over the TV to turn it on. He grabs one of the nearby DVDs and puts it on. Sam watches as the title comes on his eyes going round. “Dean you've got to be kidding me, a Disney Movie?!” 

“Yeah, thought you might want to sit back and relax to something lighter.”

“I thought our definition of light is when you wanted to watched a monster genre Godzilla movie” Sam replies.

“Well this is more kid friendly.”

“DUDE! You and Dad were always watching slashed horror movies since I was 8!”

“Yeah and I remember me and dad paid the price when you’d wake up screaming with nightmares and more later when you found out monster were real. Let’s just say it wasn’t one of our prouder moments” Dean smiles ruefully.

“Okay, I get that but we never did kid movies” Sam grouses.

“Well now we do.”

“By the way what the hell is this?” Sam’s face is scrunched up starting at the screen.

“What was that Sammy?”

Sam looks at Dean wondering if he's deaf “What. The. Hell. Is. This.” Sam says slower enunciating carefully.

Dean crosses his arms and looks at Sam “is there a better way to ask Sammy?”

“What da fuck is wrong with Dean” Sam thinks but then he sees Dean’s eyes narrow. Dean relaxes and sighs deciding to let that thought slip since Sam didn't say it out loud and by the looks of it Sam's not getting it.

“Sam if I was proud of one thing it was your politeness at a very young age. You minded your 'please' and 'thank you’s' without being prompted. We made sure that you never swore up until you were 16 and then Dad and I barely tolerated it when you did” Dean reminded Sam.

Sam’s raises his eye brows at Dean then realizes with a sinking feeling what Dean was hinting at. Sam's face reddens with embarrassment and anger. It's outrageous Dean thinks his language needs to be curbed, look who is talking!

“This is bull shit Dean!” Sam explodes but regrets it the instead the words leave his mouth.

Dean strides over to him in three steps, grabs Sam by the arm pulling him up to deliver one swat to his diaper and denim covered bottom. Sam doesn't know why it didn’t hurt, but he sniffs nonetheless and looks down at the ground. “What was wrong with me?” he thinks. He felt…he felt…God he doesn't know what he felt but he didn’t like it. There is a tightness in his chest and there's hotness on his skin meaning he's red in the face. Then he feels Dean’s hand on his chin.

“I understand that this is new to you and you think it's not fair but as a kid you never once swore and as of now you will not do it again. I know I was not the best role model in that regard but if you recall I didn't tolerate it then and I will not tolerate it now. Do you understand?”

“Yes Dean” Sam whispers his eyes watering a bit.

“Good” Dean smiles “now c’mere” he pulls Sam gently down with him as he sits on the couch and has Sam nestle next to him. Dean put his arm around Sam's shoulders and pulls him closer.

Sam rests his head on Dean’s chest and sniffles a bit but then feels Dean’s hand massage his head. He begins to relax a bit looking down at his other hand he notices he is still holding the sippy cup. He automatically brings it to his lips and almost drops again but then opens his mouth to take a small sip realizing how thirsty he is. 

He puts the whole top into his mouth and takes a full gulp. He carefully looks up at Dean through his bangs and notices Dean watching the TV, not glancing down or smirking in triumph. 

Sam sighs and finally nestles closer and fully relaxes. “Ok” he thinks “this is not so bad, its almost like our usual movie nights but without the rated version of movies we tend to watch.” Of course they are usually 8 or 9 o’clock at night not 2 o’clock in the afternoon. They were both in their usual spot, or rather they'd start at either end of the couch but by the time the movie ended Sam would be close to Dean leaning on his shoulder he'd have his head on Dean's lap asleep. Not much different now, except that they are already close together. He looks at the screen and notices a blue character jumping around trying to avoid laser hitting it? He realizes it looks interesting and has a kind of sci-fi theme to it. “I can get on board with this” he thinks. “Oh looks like it stole a ship and the other aliens on the spaceship don’t look too happy” he muses taking another sip from his cup, this time leaving it in his mouth as he puts his full attention on the movie.

Dean feels the moment Sam relaxes and starts to enjoy the movie and he glances quickly down to see Sammy drinking from his cup with no more complaint. He smiles inwardly and feels warm and contend as he leans back further into the couch and settles in for a comfortable hour and half with Sam in his arms.

At 3.30pm when the movie finishes and it's time for Sammy to take his second nap. Dean looks down at Sam to find him yawning and his juice is finished. He should have put him down at 3pm but this is new for him too trying to get Sammy on a schedule. In the past he would have no problem figuring this out. It’s been awhile but he can see himself easily fit back into that pattern. He passes his hand through Sammy’s hair as he thinks tomorrow will be a better day for both of them. He'll write the schedule down tonight and will keep to it until Sam is used to it.

He looks down at Sam again and notices him looking up owlishly through blinking eyes.  
“Okay baby, someone is ready for his afternoon nap” Dean says getting up picking Sammy up with him. Sam settles his head on Dean's shoulder and wraps his arms around Dean. They walk through the kitchen and stop by the fridge. The door automatically opens and Dean reaches for the pre-made bottle of milk with one hand. 

He holds the bottle in his hand and feels as it warms up to the right temperature.  
He walks into Sammy’s room and settles down with Sam in the arm chair. He nestles his brother against his chest and gently lowers the bottle to his brother's mouth.

Sammy purses his lips for a second but then relents and allows Dean to slip the rubber teat into his mouth. He begins suckling right away and looks at Dean as he drinks realizing his hand is over Dean’s on the bottle. He doesn’t know why but he finds it comforting. He keeps flexing his fingers around Dean’s hand and Dean chuckles quietly enjoying the moment watching his baby brother with love and tenderness.

Slowly Sam’s eyes start to close and his hand lays lax against Dean's. When Sam finishes the bottle Dean gently pulls it out and lift him up to lay his head over his shoulder. He gently pats Sam’s back after five minutes Sam lets out a burp. Sam snuffles a bit and then goes back to sleep.  
Dean gets up and walks over to Sammy's crib and puts him tummy down. This time he doesn't forget Sammy’s pacifier and decides on a new hoping that it will distract his brother when he wakes so he won't be so fussy. He grabs a clear blue pacifier that has low colorful lights that blink on and off in a pattern. 

He watched Sam a moment longer and realizes he left the doggy in the high chair. He snaps his fingers and the dog is now next to Sam. “There that should keep him happy when he wakes up” Dean smiles to himself. He pauses for a second and snaps his fingers a second time making two small slim black padlocks appear at either end of the crib’s rails.

“There” Dean thinks “if Sam pushes the buttons again the crib won’t lower down 'cause the padlocks are in place to keep him from doing that. That should keep Sam safe and wait for me to come to get him out.”

Dean needs to get back to the library and finish the research he promised Cas. He found the spell that Metatron used to close Heaven's gates and what he did with Cas’s grace. Dean cracks his neck and heads out of the nursery. He knows Cas will be back at 8pm when Sam has been put down for the night. After the news he gives to Cas most likely he will be rearing to go and see for himself. Maybe he can get Hannah to baby sit while he and Cas go see the gates of Heaven together. All they will be able to do is look, they can’t do anything else. That part will be hard part to tell Castiel because unless they know of an archangel still around Cas will not be able to get his grace back. 

Of course it will be a difficult journey and they may not get a break but, he smiles for the first time, they might if the rumors he heard underground are true. Only one way to find out. Dean rubs his hands excitedly. Time to get to work. How does one summon an old Hindu goddess-he smirks- not a problem for a Knight of Hell.  
TBC


	8. Trial and Error

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean remembering growing up with Sammy and their Dad.  
> And realize somewhere along the way he'd switched roles with Sam. He used to be the one their dad would go to for research before Sam.  
> and it should have stay as part of Dean protect and keep Sammy safe protocol. Instead of shoveling all the responsibility on him, well as he figures its never too late to take that role back. 
> 
> Sam on the other hands is having a hard time processing this side of Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank you all for being super duper patient with me. As it took me 3 to 4 months to update. I was almost ready to give up, but thanks to my beta and friend Laura aka " Cacoether_Scribendi" she did not let me quit and kept my moral high, even when she was going through a very hard work month at her job.  
> And thank you to all the fan readers that left comments with so much encouragement to continue as well. you guys have been super nice!

** Chapter 8 Trail and Error: **

Dean sits back and rubs the bridge of his nose remembering why he hates research. Even if he could speed read through it, it was still a pain in the ass.  He knew that he was good at it but realized that he had become lazy about this aspect of hunting, especially when he had someone who loved it like it were chocolate.  “Like a geeky little brother” Dean remembers fondly.  However, now was the time to let Sam rest and take back his role as a big brother.

He did all of this before Sam had found out about monsters, he had done the research for Dad and looked for hunts.  Being really good at it, he remembers when their father left for a hunt and when he got back Dean would have three hunts lined up waiting for him.

It also helped that Dean had Bobby and Pastor Jim were good tutors in research and he'd learnt a lot from them when John had left Dean and Sam with them.  He remembers when Caleb had called him a natural and insisted that Dean was a geek.  Dean had to remedy that quickly since the last thing he needed was for people to think he loved reading and researching.  Sure, he didn't mind putting the puzzle pieces together especially if it meant ganking the monster of the week faster, but Dean was 13 and needed to maintain a certain image with the other cool kids Caleb hung out with.  Hence, that was how Dean’s relaxing attitude towards research began.  John had nearly kicked his ass, so Dean found a middle ground: when dad was there he researched or finished faster when he was not there and called for new intel from Dean.

Sam’s tutor was, of course, Dean starting when Sam had turned 9.  “Huh” Dean muses to himself as he walks down memory lane.  “I wonder if Sam even remembers that it was me who taught him, how to read and write Latin, how to do research, how spot hunts in the news and paper, and how to shoot his first gun at 9?” When Sam was 8 and discovered the truth about the supernatural world, John did not start off Sam training right away, the kid gloves came off but he only wanted him to learn the basic stuff first. 

Of course, John made mistakes with Sam in the beginning, he took for granted sometimes that Sam knew stuff at an early age like Dean did.  He assumed that Sam knew at 9 what Dean already had known, especially how to shoot a gun….Dean sighed remembering the whole .45 fiasco again with Sam being scared of the thing in his closet.  It would later turn out to be a rat. 

That was one of the first times Dean had wanted to smack his dad upside the head.  When the loud “BANG” went off in the room, startling Dean awake, he found Sam cowering under the blanket crying and the gun on the floor.  John had come running into their room with his own gun drawn before realizing what had happened and what he had done wrong.  He at least had the decency to look guiltily at Dean while Dean was trying to coax his baby brother out from under the blankets and glaring at John.  The kid had not yet learned to hold a gun or shoot one.  It had been a miracle that Sam had not hurt himself.

Thank God the neighbors hadn't call the cops that time.

It was amazing that John didn't scar Sammy for life with guns that time and now he was such a natural with them.  Dean rubs his hand down his face wondering how many trial and errors John and even he himself had with Sam over the years.  “Some times, even to this day even though the kid might be 30 freaking years old, all it takes is one injury, illness or loss and his whole demeanor reverts back to the baby brother needing me to fix it” he thinks.  “Damn, no human should hold so much power with their eyes”.  Now, he understands “why”.  It was just Sam’s nature and would always be.  A part of himself may have always been aware of this side of Sammy, which is why he could never deny anything his little brother asked when he whipped out the puppy eyes and the pleading childish voice.

Dean straightens his back as he had been sitting hunched over for the past 2 hours pouring over books regarding a certain little Hindu war goddess he needs to contact.  Wanting to have everything ready when Cas got there at 8 o’clock, he looks at his watch and realizes that he needs to start dinner for Sam and wake him up soon after. 

Dean gets up, stretches his muscles and cracks his neck.  Once he gets all the kinks out he heads towards the kitchen but stops briefly at the entrance and makes a turn to the hallway on the left.  He quietly enters Sam’s room to listen to his easy breathing.  The lights were dimmed and he walks over to the crib to look down at his sleeping baby brother.  He looks so adorable turned on his side, hair mussed and pacifier hanging slightly from his lips.  So peaceful and content.  Dean reaches in and gently ruffles Sam’s hair.  Sam stirs a bit, but just re-latches onto the pacifier sucking it into his mouth when he moves.

Dean crouches down next the crib and places a hand on the rails looking at Sam.  He makes a mental promise right there and then to them both, “this is the last hunt/adventure.  This is it, after which we'll be taking an indefinite break” he thinks.  He needs to contact Garth and see about starting the “Bobby’s help network”, connecting lines to him and possibly Charlie if she ever got back from “Oz’.

Since Garth went missing as well the hunters really had no “go to” help except him and Sam but sometimes they were indisposed like when saving the damn world more than a couple of times.  Not to mention, as Garth told him recently, “a new band of hunter is cropping up with no real guidance or dependable guidance like Bobby, Rufus, Jim, Caleb and even John”.  The few that were still left seemed to have gone MIA.  Dean needed to make a list before he made the next move for him and Sam.

Dean stands and rubs his hand down his face “well little brother, who would of thought I would end up being the 'new Bobby'? I always thought, no more like believed, that my life would end either in a blaze of glory taking down as many son of a bitches with me as I could or with a bullet to the heart or head” he mutters.  Sam just sighs in his sleep in response to Dean’s comment.

“Yeah me too, baby, I agree” Dean chuckles softly.  He steps back and heads out of the room.  He walks into the kitchen knowing to make something that his rabbit healthy eating baby brother loves to eat.

Sam begins to stir in his sleep…..he shifts to his left side then his right and lets out a small whimper.

Sam is dreaming.....

_Dread fills his chest as he runs to the warehouse that he knew Dean was in, probably already engaging Metatron.  He quickly walks through the door to survey the scene before him arriving in time to see the blade fly into Dean's hands.  However, Dean hadn't seen Metatron standing in front of him, angel blade, which had been raised, coming down as he turns.  Sam is frozen as he watches Metatron plunge the angel blade through Dean’s chest.  “NOOOOOOO” he screams and runs to his brother.  The whole scene replays again and again.  He knows that Dean isn't going to make it, that he is going to die._

_Sometimes as he runs he feels as though the distance between the stair case and the wall where Dean is leaning is vast, no matter how hard he runs he can’t get to him.  Sometimes he's already half carrying Dean and his brother asks him to stop because he needs to tell him something.  Sam doesn't want to stop cause he knows what will happen…”no,no,no, you’re going to say you're proud of us and then you’re going to die.”  Sam frantically thinks “maybe if I don’t stop he’ll make it this time”.  He knows it's not true but he has to try.  He’s been here so many times, no matter how many times he changes the scene in his dream, Dean always dies.  Sam feels his heart and soul break each time.  He tries to hold onto the last bit of light he can see in Dean's eyes and feel in Dean’s body before it goes cold._

_A broken mantra runs over and over in his head and heart “don’t leave me, please don’t leave me, please Dean…you promised you'd never leave me, please big brother you promised.”   But Dean’s gone and Sam is alone._

_Then he hears a keening sound erupt from inside himself._

Sam sits up fast, gasping for air and holding on tight to something he felt against his chest.  His shoulders shudder as he tries to hold back the tears and fears.  He tries to remember “who, what, when”.  However, before he can gather his thoughts, the lights came on suddenly in his room _,_ making him blink his eyes to focus on his surroundings.

The nightmare ebbs away little by little helping him get a grip of his emotions.  He lets out a shuddering breath.  Just as he is about to take a breath in, he feels his bed move a bit and then strong hands grasp him, pulling him forward as he hears soothing sounds.

“Oh hey, hey, it’s okay.  You're okay Sammy” he hears as his head is pressed up against a strong broad chest.  Sam almost panics, trying to regain full conscious, but then recognizes the low timber of the gruff voice and the gentle rubbing hand on his back.

Without realizing, the tears he’d been holding back rush forward and start to spill.   The dream is still in the front of his conscious.  Dreaming about Dean’s death had made it all too real again and the suddenness of Dean being there, holding him had released his emotions.  Too many times Sam had been here, dreaming about Dean’s death only to wake up screaming, crying and wishing he could have done something different.  He’d seen Dean die so many times that he had lost count.  Each time it was like he was being skewered alive.  He would never understand how he could have so easily told his brother that he could let him go during the last fight they'd had.

“Feeling better?” Dean asks quietly.  Sam gives one last exhale before composing himself.  He is a little embarrassed to find that he is holding on tight to Dean and the stuffed dog.  He throws it next to the couch and runs his hand through his hair, regaining his posture.

“Yeah man, just you know, bad dream” Sam waves it off and tries to get off Dean's lap, realizing he is sitting on it again and that they are in the arm chair.  He must have been really distracted not to have sensed the movement from the bed to the chair.

“Um, Dean.  I’m really fine you can let go” Sam says trying once more to get up, however, Dean stands up with him instead.  Sam sighs and tries, again, to reason with Dean.

“Ok, I don’t see the necessity of you carrying me all the time if you expect me to get better.  I can walk on my own…even toddlers start walking at an early age” Sam says the last part though gritted teeth.

Dean smirks at the last part “yeah but let’s first get some more weight on you before I let you run all over the place.”

“Dean!” Sam pouts as they walk out the room, “this is was getting tiring” he thinks as his head drops onto Dean’s shoulder.  Sam grumbles to himself about stupid brothers and something about independence and what not.  Dean simply smiles taking it all in his stride.

“Somebody’s a little cranky, is someone hungry?” Dean singsongs, receiving a groan in reply to his question.  Sam knows it's an irrelevant question.  Regardless whether or not he is hungry Dean will do whatever he likes, which is feed Sam.  Not that Sam is complaining, something smells really good as they walk into the kitchen. 

“Mmmm” Sam takes a deep breath and inhales the delicious aroma, “it smells really good and 'huh' familiar?” he thinks “almost like the soup from my favorite café back in California.  Found the same kind here in town as well”. 

He feels Dean sit him into his chair. “Not my chair” Sam corrects himself “it's a stupid high chair Dean got for me”.  As Dean locks the tray around him, Sam settles and looks around the kitchen for the first time.  He notices that it had been redecorated and remodeled to have a more homey feel to it.  It no longer had the industrial cafeteria look, not that it had ever bothered him.  He'd been reminded of school days in Stanford and the dinning commons where students went when they didn't have money to go to the nearby cafes, only having their lunch cards provided by the university.

Now, the bunker kitchen had a center island where vegetables could be chopped and washed and where kitchen utensils could be more conveniently stored.  The marble counter connected to it had three stools where visitors could sit and eat and where his (not his, he reminded himself) chair was next to.  Although Sam knows he was out cold for a full day he wonders how Dean had managed to build it all.  “Must be nice having angel and demon mojo to do this” he concludes, the only idea he can come up with.  Not that he blames Dean for using his new found powers.  “He probably found the kitchen in complete disarray the first night back….aw who’m I kidding.  The kitchen was a disaster zone after I used it as chemical lab but when I tried to cook, well that was technically not my fault”.

Living from motel to short rental apartments did not give a growing kid a chance to learn how to cook.  When they did have access to a kitchen Dean cooked for everyone, simple dinners, but still using the stove and oven.  So learning the hard way that cooking oil and water do not mix but causes higher flames, well you couldn’t really blame a guy - thank god for the nearby fire extinguisher.  Unfortunately, the whole stove had ended up scorched which was when he'd decided to stick with protein drinks and bars for fuel, and vitamin supplements for nutrients his body needed.  He'd turned the kitchen into a lab to summon demons and for spells that required a lot of experimenting. Which had actually gone well until he'd got a bit overzealous….

“Overzealous?  How about lack of sleep equals a catastrophe waiting to happen” Dean quips.

Sam is brought out of his thoughts by Dean’s comment and before he can get mad at him again for mind prying, Dean is placing something on the tray.  “Is that cheesy garlic toast and” he thinks looking at the bowl.  “ No way!” Sam voices his surprise “dude you made butternut squash soup?”  He looks at Dean with confusion.

“Sure figured it would be something you'd like, especially since, if I recall you get it a least once a week in town.”

Sam looks down at the whole setting: two Italian loaf slices of cheese garlic toast, a bowl of butternut squash soup and a sippy cup of cranberry juice.

“Dean this looks…wow, uh great and smell so good” Sam awes as his stomach grumbles.

Dean laughs and sits down in the chair next to Sam but as Sam reaches for the soup Dean picks it up with a spoon in hand. Sam scrunches his face and glares at Dean.

“Oh god, not this again” he intones.

“You're right, I almost forgot something” Sam looks up startled at Dean’s comment.

Dean gets up, bowl in hand, and walks back to the counter where he picks up something.  He walks back, sets the bowl on Sam’s tray and reaches over to Sam leaning over with his hands going behind Sam’s neck.  It's so swift that Sam doesn't react until he looks down to see that he's now got a bib on.

“Now we’re ready” Dean grins, bowl in hand and takes a spoonful of soup holding it up to Sam.

Sam scowls at Dean and crosses his arms before turning away (or as much as he can in the chair).

“Aw come on Sammy, you’ll like it, it's my own take on the recipe” Dean tells Sam.

Sam looks at Dean and bites his lower lip contemplating.  Dean’s done some amazing things with just hamburgers and even salads with his own home made dressing for Sam.

The soup smells awfully good and there's some sort of aromatic spice he tries to figure out, besides the garlicky smell of the loaf.  Sam is curious to try the soup, knowing Dean made it from scratch and most likely added some other ingredients to make it robust in flavor.  He really does love Dean’s cooking and had missed it.  He doesn't realize he's twisting his fingers and reaching up to tug on his hair but Dean sees and knows they are what Sammy does when deciding to give in but it's killing him to do it.

Dean smiles without calling attention to the gestures as he leans forward with the spoon to Sam’s mouth.

“Come on baby open up, know you must be hungry” Dean soothes.

Hazel eyes filled with hesitancy, look at Dean then at the spoon and ever so slowly Sam parts his lips.

Dean with gentle care places the spoon inside Sam mouth and waits.  Sam eyes light up the moment he swallows it down. 

Sam can’t help but smile “whoa this is amazing Dean, what did you do?” he opens his mouth again without realizing he's doing it automatically.  Dean just chuckles and gets another spoonful to feed Sam. 

Hoping to provide a distraction, he begins to tell Sam what how he made the soup and what he added to it.  “Well, for starters I didn't boil the butternut like the recipe said.  I knew that would take too long, so I thought maybe if I roasted it, it would peel faster and concentrate the flavor giving it a more nutty taste.  Also, besides adding the usual cream and basil, I diced a sautéd onion and added that with a sautéd tart apple.  Instead of basil I added sage, stirred in full cream, blended all the ingredients and violà roasted butternut squash soup” Dean finishes explaining to Sam.

Dean notices they are half way done with the soup and Sam has not once complained about being spoon fed.  As Dean was talking Sam had picked up the garlic toast and is munching on it happily, pausing in between to get more soup.  Sam is unaware of how adorable he looks munching on toast and slurping up his soup while his legs are kicking away happily listening to Dean talk, adding his own words here and there.

The picture in front of him, warms Dean’s heart.  It reminds him of 2 year old Sammy all over again, being care free and happily babbling like he conversed with 6 year old Dean back then.

Sam is happily talking away to Dean about when he first came across this soup in his Stanford days in a 'mom and pop café' in Palo Alto.  It was raining and he walked in after getting soaked and how he only had enough to get $4 dollar latte.  The wife took pity on him and set a bowl of their soup of the day with his coffee.  It was the first time he'd tried butternut squash soup and he'd thought it was delicious -  not as good as Dean's though - so once a month he go by just to get a bowl.

As Sam continues animatedly talking he's not paying attention to how he holds the garlic toast, not bothering to wipe his hands as his fingers get greasy.  He grabs his juice cup with the same fingers getting grease on it.  His whole tone is getting lighter and his demeanor is relaxed and happy, and because he's speaking excitedly to Dean he doesn't realize some juice has spilled on his bib and drips down a bit.  When he does feel the cranberry juice pool a little in the corner of his mouth he quickly wipes the back of his hand over it and keeps going like nothing was amiss. 

This is Sammy at his normal content happy childlike state and Dean remembers him like that a lot over the years.  This is where Dean needs to help him by showing how happy he is.

“All finished” Dean announces to Sam causing him to blink up not realizing how much time that has gone by.  Dean puts the bowl down and turns around to grab the wet cloth from the counter as Sammy looks down at the now empty bowl.  He notices a few splotches of the soup at the bottom and using the last small piece of toast in his hand he leans in to sop up the residue without thinking.

Dean turns around in time to catch Sammy sopping up the last bit of soup.  The toast is not big enough to catch all of it and some drips down his wrist.  He tries to pop the whole piece into his mouth and lick the escaping soup off his fingers and wrist at the same time.

When Dean coughs with a smile on his face Sam freezes, realization dawning about what he'd just done and his face turns a shade of red.  He lowers the wrist that had still been on his mouth and tries to wipe it on his pant legs.

“Well, that’s a good place to wipe your hands on, but you've got a little on your face.  Dude, I forgot what an eager eater you are at times.  You know you’re supposed to eat the food not wear it” Dean chuckles as he reaches with the wet towel to wipe Sam’s face and hands.  Thank god he remembered to put a bib on Sam, there were greasy orange stains all over the bib.

Sam is horrified at his recent behavior, as his brother cleans him off.  He's too shocked to move or offer any protest.  When did he lose himself to such childish behavior? What the hell is wrong with him that he can slip so easily?  A queasy sensation settles in his stomach.  As Dean finishes wiping his left hand, he feels the tears start to pool at the corner of his eyes.

“Oh, hey, hey what wrong baby?” Dean asks worriedly.

“What’s happening to me?” Sam whispers.

“Nothing wrong with you Sammy, you were just enjoying yourself, nothing wrong with letting go” Dean gently explains.

Sammy looks up at Dean as two big tear drops roll down his face.

“Aw hey ,come on Sammy, it’s okay, none of that now” Dean tries to sooth his brother. “Hey, I know lets get you out and see if some curricular activity will help you feel better and help you relax”.  Dean unlatches the tray and picks up Sam and they walk over to the living room area of the bunker.  The whole time Sam is sniffling trying to get himself under control wondering what new and crazy stunt Dean has planned now.

As they walk into the living room he sees a rather large quilt pattern blanket laying out on the rug.  It's brightly colored with blue, yellow and red squares, ABC lettering and 123 numbers, plus animals here and there.  As Dean sets him down he begins to take notice of other stuff on the blanket.

Sam looks up at Dean who is standing close by as Sam sits.

“You’re kidding right?”

“What?” Dean asks innocently.

“Blocks? You really want me to play with blocks?”

“Or color or make something with the color clay or whatever you feel like playing with” Dean mentions the other stuff on the quilt.  Sam looks around and sees the big coloring books and crayons.  The box of rainbow color clay a fire truck and other cars.

Since his brother is a little uncomfortable Dean decides to leave his brother alone, telling him that he's going to clean up the kitchen.  He reassures himself that Sam is safe here and he won't be able to harm himself nor get into any trouble.  Sam looks like he's about to complain but seems to think better of it, nodding to his brother.  Dean walks off to the kitchen leaving Sam alone. 

With a small sigh he looks around the things on the mat.  Since Dean had made him such good soup, maybe he can pretend to be happy sitting here?  It definitely won't be because he enjoys any of the stuff on the mat with him.  He'll just sit quietly until Dean comes back.

Dean walks back quietly back in to the living room and sees a scene that makes him happy.  Sam is gingerly building with the blocks.  It looks like he's built a bridge connecting two towers and he grabs one of the sports cars before carefully putting it on the bridge.  When it doesn't collapse, Sam's face lights up with a smile before grabbing another car to place on the other end of the bridge.  He then quickly grabs the fire truck, looking left and right making sure no one is there.  Since Dean is towards the back of the room Sam can’t see him.  He leans in the archway as he hears Sam make quiet siren noises.

Dean watches Sam play for a few more minutes and then looks at the time.  “Whoa” he thinks “it 6.50pm, Sam’s been playing for a full 45 minutes!”  Even if Sam didn't start playing as soon as he left him alone he's still been doing it for a while and seems really into it having a good time. 

This is all that Dean wants for Sammy.  However, he knows the moment is going to go a bit south once he clears his throat.   When he does, of course Sammy freezes.

“Hey Sammy, 5 more minutes, then its bath time okay?” Dean tells him.  Sam automatically lets go of the car he was about to push along the bridge and drops his head down to his chest.

“Sammy?” Sam has not made a sound or replied to Dean’s comment.  His hair is hiding his face to whatever emotions are going through him.  Dean could just listen to Sam’s thoughts but just by his body language he guesses his brothers thoughts are probably not that coherent right now or in order.  Besides, Dean wants Sam to feel comfortable and trust him so that he can come to him and share anything.  Like he'd done when he was younger and would come to Dean for anything.

Dean sighs and walks over to Sam then crouches down, “hey what’s up buddy?”

Sam's hands are clenched, his head still down “Dean if you don’t mind I’m gonna head off to my room now.”

Dean tilts his head and analyzes Sam’s tense shoulders “okay, if you’re done playing now, we can go to the bathroom and have a nice bath and then bed time.”

Sam's hand clenches even more “you know I’m just feeling very tired and I’ll just skip the shower and head off now”.  Sam makes to get up but stumbles forward a bit, knocking over some of the blocks.  He flinches as they fall and takes a shaky step forward.  When he feels Dean gently place his hand on his back he stops.  Dean very slowly brings up his other hand to turn Sam around to face him.

“I get that you're tired and upset right now, but I can’t let you skip your bath because, dude, you have orange stain splotches around your mouth and your fingers, and I’m pretty sure you won’t be happy waking up with greasy hair, thanks to the garlic toast.”

Sam’s head snaps up and to look directly at Dean.  His face is set “you know what, you’re right I’ll most likely be angry at myself in the morning when I wake up feeling gross with my hair all stringy with grease, but it will be my choice, my hair and my body that I decided to let sit in grime for one night” as Sam finishes his rant he pushes away from Dean.

He quickly spins to walk away, but forgets that he'd knocked some of the blocks over earlier.  In trying to avoid stepping on them he loses his coordination and stumbles awkwardly forward.  He tries to catch himself, but doesn't see that one of the toy cars had rolled farther away and his left foot comes down on it.  Sam feels the small twinge of pain shoot up his foot which makes him completely lose his balance.

Sam face plants on the floor, he feels his face grows hot and his breathing erratic, not because of the pain, he’s felt so much worse in the past and weathered through.  No, it's the humiliation because since Dean came back he can’t seem to get it together.  It’s like he’s reverted back to that awkward, klutzy, accident prone little brother he was so many years ago.

His knees hurt and his hand palms sting a bit.  “Wow” Sam thinks “I suck, where’s the mighty hunter now?  The boy king who once had indestructible psychic power fueled by demon blood, the boy who took on Lucifer and won”.  Sam gives a watery laugh “oh right, he's right here in some childish jean overalls with a cute train design on the front pocket, cranberry juice dripped down the front, butternut squash soup coloring the corners of his mouth and was just caught building with blocks playing with toy cars.”

He feels Dean’s hands grip him and pick him up before settling him on the couch.  He doesn't want to look up at Dean right now.  He feels Dean roll up his right pant leg.

“Okay, just a slight rug burn. Let’s see the left knee.”  As Dean finishes inspecting the right knee he rolls up his other pant leg and notices the same thing. “Come on Sammy into the tub.  I’ll put some ointment on this after your bath to help with the sting.”

Sam nods his head and makes to get up from the couch but feels Dean gently lift his arms around his neck then feels Dean's hands on his hips preparing to make to pick him up.  Sam quickly drops his arms and tries to scoot back on the couch.  Dean stops his movement by grabbing his arm but not squeezing.  He's just holding it to get Sam to stop. 

Sam looks up at Dean then and his eyes glaze a bit, “please Dean, I can … I can.”  Sam’s breath hitches a bit, he can’t form his thoughts and doesn't know what he wants to say to Dean.  Can he what?  His head is starting to hurt so he simply leans towards Dean and rests this head upon his shoulder.

Dean warps his arms around Sam and rubs his back a bit “S’okay Sammy, you're just tired.  It’s getting late and a nice warm bath will help.”  Sam allows Dean to pull him in closer and pick him up.  He keeps his head on Dean's shoulder and mumbles “m’head hurts.” 

Dean continues to rub Sammy's back as they walk towards the bathroom.

“I know baby, just hold on, almost to the bathroom.”  Dean is hoping the warm bath will help soothe Sam's tension head ache because that is what it is.

As they walk into the bathroom the lights come on and Dean walks over to the blue gingham bathinette next to the bathtub.  He settles Sam down on it without fuss from him.

Sam simply sits and looks at what he's sitting on.  His head is still throbbing a bit and he blinks tiredly at Dean.  He's feels the distaste for this new thing Dean has put him on but is just too tired to argue.  Maybe if he just rests this week with no more fuss he can get it together mentally and emotionally and not feel like he's spiraling back in forth in his vulnerable state of mind.  It’s what he usually did when sick or hurt in the past.  Dean would take care of him and he just wallowed and indulged in the comfort Dean gave him before getting back on his feet.  

Sam watches as Dean reaches and unsnaps the buttons of his overalls.  “Hey baby, can you lay back?” Dean asks.  Sam blinks one more time and then slowly lowers himself back on the mat before looking up at the ceiling.  He feels Dean pull down his overalls past his hips, down his legs before pulling them off completely.

Dean then reaches for Sam’s shirt to pull it off and sees Sam starting to yawn “aww Sammy, hold on kiddo, just a quick bath then you can go to sleep” Dean promises.

He finishes undressing Sammy completely and lowers him into the tub.  Sam completely relaxes into the warm water which smells heavenly.  Dean had put in some lavender to help Sammy relax and enjoy his bath.  He picks up the small pitcher and begins to wet Sam’s hair, making Sam sigh in contentment as the water cascades down his back.  Dean wets his hair thoroughly before picking up the baby shampoo.  He washes Sammy’s hair quickly but gently then he rinses him off again.  He then puts on baby conditioner leaving it to set in.  He picks up the wash cloth and pours some baby body wash, also scented in lavender, and washes Sam’s body.  Sam gives himself over completely to Dean's care and just basks in it, the love and warmth he is feeling.

The next thing Sam is conscious of is the feeling of a big white fluffy towel being wrapped around him as he's picked up form the bathtub.  He simply leans into Dean’s chest and rests there content as he feels Dean walk down the hall towards his room.  Dean enters Sam's room and walks straight to the changing table to lay Sammy on it.  He opens the towel up and with a second proceeds to dry Sam completely.  Sam’s restful state of mind vanishes as the cool air hits him and he realizes he's completely bare in front of his brother.  He feels the towel lower down where….

“OH MY GOD DEAN STOP!” Sam bolts up fast almost losing his balance on top of the changing table.

Dean rolls his eyes “now what Sammy?”  Sam snatches the towel from Dean's hands and drops it over his lap to cover himself “I’ll do the rest” Sam says through gritted teeth and proceeds to try to dry the lower half of his body.  As he reaches down his legs, Dean stops him.  He gives him a warning look, takes the towel back and drops it in the laundry hamper by the table.

Sam is still sitting upright as he looks around for the change of clothes to slip into.  He's preparing to hop off when, again, he feels Dean’s hand on his chest pressing him backwards to lie down.

“It’s okay Sammy, you are doing just fine” Sam gives Dean puzzled look as he allows himself to be guided to lay on his back.  When he feels Dean scoot him a little upward on the changing table, he feels himself turning red knowing he's uncovered, laying naked from head to toe.  It suddenly hits him what's next; being diapered.  He wants to protest but he knows that it won't matter so he just looks at his big brother and whimpers a plea.

“Shh, baby s’ok I gotcha’” Dean murmurs to Sam as he grabs a new diaper and slides it under Sam who cringes at the soft feel of it under his bum.  Sam tenses as Dean hand rubs over his groin area with the baby ointment, he grips the side of the towel still under him to stop him from bolting and knocking Dean over.  Dean sprinkles the baby powder and closes the diaper.  He grabs the white onesie below the table and slips it over Sam’s head.  Dean is trying to be fast, he can feel Sam slipping completely from his relaxed mindset he had moments earlier.

After snapping the onesie closed he grabs a white tube and squeezes a cool gel on Sam’s knees before gently smear it in, for the red rug burns.  After applying that he finally grabs a blue baby sleep gown and slips it on Sam.  Sam, once again, has his eyes shut through the whole dressing making Dean sigh.  Just when he thought Sam was making progress.  “Maybe the next step will help” he thinks as he reaches down and picks Sam up.  Sam startles and looks at Dean as they walk over to the comfy armchair.

Dean settles them and grabs a soft yellow blanket to wrap around Sam, leaving his arms out, he tucks the blanket around his shoulders before settling Sam against his chest.  He reaches into the side pocket of the armchair and pulls out a book.

Sam looks curiously over to Dean “uh what are you doing?”

Dean smiles “it's bed time and you've always loved story time” Dean says.

“When I was 5!  What's with the bedtime?  It’s not even 8pm!” Sam retorts.

“Bedtime's always been 8:00pm for you Sammy” Dean reminds his brother.

“What are you talking about?  I’ve hadn’t had a set bedtime since I left for Stanford!” Sam yells.

“And now we are getting you back on schedule, not to mention it's part of your recuperation since you didn't sleep these past four months” Dean admonishes.

Sam looks at the book Dean is holding.  “The Tale of Peter Rabbit, by Beatrix Potter?  I was 4 when you read that.”

“And 5 and 6, the book was falling apart by the time you were 7.”

“This is stupid” Sam grumbles.

Dean ignores Sam and begins to read chapter one.  By the time Dean gets to Chapter 3 Sam is nodding off, eyes dropping, yawn escaping his lips.  Dean places a book marker.

“Okay Sammy, let’s get you a drink of water and off to bed” Dean shifts Sam and produces a bottle filled with water.  He looks at the time and sees it’s 7:48pm, “great timing” he thinks as he puts the bottle into Sam’s mouth.  Sam latches on with no argument or fuss, then again a sleepy Sam is a cooperative little brother.

Sam finishes his bottle and burps as Dean lifts him up to rub his back.  He walks over to Sam’s crib and places him in covering him up with his blue blanket.  Sam rolls onto his back and gives a small sigh as blinks tiredly up at Dean, who places a pacifier next Sam.  Sam looks at it and hesitates for a moment, but then he picks it up and plops into his mouth before rolling away from Dean to snuggle deeper into the covers and pillows.  Dean stands there for 5 more minutes, turns on the mobile and watches Sammy fall asleep.  He then dims the light by the crib and turns off the overhead lights and walks out quietly leaving the door slightly ajar.

Sam stirs in his crib, then he rolls over and lifts his head to look around a bit.  He lays back and lets out a long breath around the pacifier, he tosses the blanket off, sits up quickly, spits the pacifier out and crawls over to the crib bars.  He pushes the release button to lower the crib bars but when they don’t move down, he tries again.  Sam grunts a bit “huh, they seem to be stuck” he thinks.

He grabs the top of the bars and pulls himself up to standing position.  His head barely clears the top as he stands on his tip toes.  He looks over to the end of the rails and sees the black small slim lock.  “What the…?” Sam thinks “great looks like Dean made sure I wouldn't be able to lower the bars any time soon”.  Sam huffs determinedly “it's not like a lock is going to stop a 'Winchester'” Sam smiles ruefully.

He grabs the top of bars tightly and pulls himself up and over.  He holds on tight to the bars and doesn't drop his body right away knowing Dean will hear any noise he makes with the monitor on.  That thought makes him look over to see the green blinking light.

Slowly, with as much muscle control as he has, he lowers himself as close to the ground as possible before letting go.  He drops silently but with a small “oomph” sound escaping his lips.  He freezes and doesn't move for a few minutes, waiting to see if he's been discovered.  When no one comes Sam exhales slowly and rubs his shaking arms.

God, he's really let himself go.  That shouldn't have been hard.  When this is all over he is so going back to his work out regiment routine.  How did he let himself get this bad?  He used to pride himself with how he took care of his body.

Oh yeah, Dean died then his body went missing.  Sam had found it only to discover Dean had turned into a demon, not just any old demon, but a Knight of Hell with the Mark of Cain.  Then went missing again for 4 months!  Yeah that would make any sane man lose his sanity and reason!  Sam groans and leans against the crib, maybe Dean and Castiel are right…..Sam shakes his head quickly and snaps out of that thought.  “Okay yes, I went off the rails and my health took a plunge, but Dean's always helped me get back to health without this extra nonsense” he thinks.

Sam straightens up and goes back to his original plan of “saving Dean” by removing the Mark.  Once he does that they can sit down and talk about all this ridiculous stuff Dean's been doing to him.  Maybe it stems from the deep rooted seed of Dean old mentally.  Dad's strict orders of “take care of Sam” but mixed in with the Mark of Cain it’s taken a whole new twisted meaning.  If that's the case, then when Sam manages to take the Mark off; Dean is going to be utterly embarrassed and most likely not want to talk about it like it never happened.  This time Sam couldn’t agree more with Dean's “let’s bury it and pretend it didn't happen” attitude.

Sam stands then and walks over to the door to listen.  Hearing nothing he peers outside carefully.  He lets out a sigh of relief, he was scared his idea was not going to work.  He looks down at his left hand.  He brings it up and begins to gently rub the end of his palm until he lifts what looks like a flap of skin making him grin.

It had worked and it was such a simple child trick that Dean taught him when he was 6 and bored.  Dean had supplied the materials so easily.  He grabs the fake skin flap and begins pulling it off.  Underneath the layer Sam had drawn a protection symbol with paint. 

After Dean had left him alone in the living room, he had gazed around and saw that Dean had left something on one of the work desks in the living room den area.  After looking towards the kitchen and hearing Dean turn on the faucet he'd got up and walked quietly but quickly to the desk and picked up a hard cover note book and a book of conjuring spells.

The wording wasn't in Latin or Greek or any other languages Sam had seen.  He'd thought it almost looked like old Persian before he realized he was wrong.  He'd seen this before.  His mind quickly recognized it as Hindu, which as impossible, they'd never looked into any Hindu lore or studied the language so what was Dean doing with Sanskirt?  He looked over to Dean's note book “wow and Dean deciphered what he was looking for.  What the hell Dean, when did you go all scholarly?” he thought.  Not that he doubted his brother's intelligence.  Hell, Sam knew his brother's raw intelligence was sometimes scary to see working but book smart had always been Sam’s thing.  Research and form a plan form 'a' through 'z' carefully.

It was amazing to see Dean pull a rabbit out of the hat when their backs were to the wall.  He had always wondered how he did that!  He knew Dean was no slacker when it came to the supernatural world.  That’s why he'd told Dean he was a damn good hunter, if not one of “the best”.  He quickly looked down at Dean’s notes and tried to see what his brother was up to.

He looked up confused “why is Dean summoning 'Kali'?.  The last we saw of her was when we burned rubber out of that fake hotel in the middle of nowhere after Gabriel showed up and told us to get the hell out of there and take Kali with us.”

He remembered how upset she was and had asked them to pullover after driving five miles.  When Dean had refused stating “not until we are 100 miles away from that place” she'd said “fine.”  The next thing they knew was that they were in front Singer's Salvage yard.  “Excuse me if I don’t stay and chat as your friend in there has the place warded against beings like me” she smirked as she opened the Impala door and walked out.  She’d paused and look back at them “I think it’s best if we never meet again, but thank you” and then she'd vanished.

Sam was pulled from his memories when he heard the water shut off in the kitchen.  “Crap” he thought walking back to the blanket not knowing when Dean would come out of the kitchen and how he was going to conceal thoughts of what he’d been up to from his brother.  Sam bit his lips wishing he had more time to see if he could still do what Ruby taught him back when he was exploring the use of his psychic powers although he knew they were still there just dormant.

If Sam knew that if he had time to meditate he could block his presence which would veil his thoughts.  It was something he'd learned with Ruby when they needed to sneak up on demons.  However, concealing his presence would also alert Dean so he needed something to hide his more pressing thoughts behind.  Like those of rescuing first himself first and then Dean.  Suddenly he realized that that it was like the baby proof spell Hannah had placed on the bunker.  What if he could do the opposite?  He knew of a spell for hiding subconscious thoughts from psychic mind attacks.  He found the spell while archiving a while ago and thought it would be useful later.  Thank God he'd memorized it!  He looked around the blanket to see what he could use and then saw the paints.  Where could he hide them?  He looked down at himself and realized it was going to be hard, he clenched his hand thinking….then it hit him!

He looked over at the art supply stuff, and saw a bottle of glue.  He smiled and hoped to God he had enough time to do this.  He looked over to the kitchen before setting to work.  He painted the sigil on his left hand and then blew on it to dry it.  Luck was on his side as it was fast drying paint child safety paint.  He just need it to stay in place during the next part which was harder.  He squeezed just enough glue to cover his whole palm spreading it carefully not to ruin sigil.  Once done it didn’t take long to dry out either.  The last part was mixing the paints to get a close to peach skin color as possible.  When he was done it was a bit amateurish but it just needed to hold until Dean left him alone in his room again.  He just needed to remember to keep his hand down and not expose it too much.

When he'd looked around to see what he could do to look casual, he’d noticed the blocks.  At first he'd scrunched his nose in distaste thinking “no way am I going to pick them up” but then realized it might distract Dean.  He'd never thought he would actually get caught up playing with them.  He sighs remembering that incident, but it could have helped him get into better mind set to throw Dean off.

He hadn't expected to get lost in the colorful blocks and for just a moment he'd forgotten why he was doing it and just enjoyed (he swallows hard) his play time.  What was that about?  He knows he has no time to analyze things since he needs to get back to the library to see what Dean and Cas are up to.  He's worried because he always had his brother's back in research, and he always did the summoning because Dean had a hard time remembering whole exorcisms never mind a whole Sanskrit summoning spell.  The intonations, the rising and falling notes in the right places, “damn it Dean anything could go wrong if you say something this complicated wrong!” he thinks.

He walks quietly down the hallway more confident since the protection symbol on his hand keeps his thoughts hidden, at least his conscious ones that would alert Dean that he's awake.  For all he knows Dean only senses him subdued and sleeping.  He should be able to spy from the archway and stay hidden but still be able to be Dean’s backup, whether he likes it or not.  He stops at Dean’s room and finds the stash of favorite guns and takes back the Taurus Dean had given him.

Sam makes sure it has silver bullets just in case before approaching the archway to the living room.  He can hear Castiel and Dean speaking.  He leans against the wall and holds still, listening in.

“I don’t understand Dean, from all my research there are no more archangels left except for Lucifer and Michael and they are currently locked in the cage.  You are not thinking of releasing Michael are you?” Castiel asks Dean.  Sam holds his breath.

“No! Of course not, last thing we need on our plate, is another asshole archangel wanting to smite us for stopping the apocalypse.  Come on Cas use your head, there must be still one archangel who loves to play tricks on humanity, well humans who deserve their just deserts” Dean hints.

“Dean you and Sam confirmed his death, when you got out with Kali five years ago, surely you’re not thinking Gabriel?”

Dean smirks at Castiel with a mischievous grin “I’ve heard otherwise.  It's sure great to be a Knight of Hell and have low life minions come talk your ear off to impress you.”

“Demons lie, especially the lower rungs” Cas reminds Dean.

“Yeah they do, but when you are holding their insides in your hand (Cas raises his eyebrows at that) and this power helps me see when they are lying to me” Dean finishes.

“Why did you not use that from the beginning, when they spoke to you” Cas questions.

“Aw come on Cas where's the fun in that?” Dean whines.

“Dean you weren’t supposed to hurt anyone” Cas lectures.

Dean rolls his eyes “ they were demons not humans, I kept myself away from hurting any innocent humans except maybe a couple of douche bags, I just beat the crap out of them.  Just to see how they like to be bullied, you know on the receiving end?”

“Never mind Dean this is neither the place nor the time.  Tell me what you discovered” Cas asks.

“Old Gabriel is alive and kicking and a certain little Hindu war goddess has been keeping him safe and protected” Dean smiles and waits for it to sink in.

Hannah was the first to react “that’s not possible, how and why has he not come home, he must know what happened to heaven!” she exclaims.

Dean look over to Cas to see his reaction first of disbelief and then one of sadness.

“He does not wish to come home does he?” Cas looks at Dean.

“No” Dean responds.

“Then how are you going to get him here if he refuse to come?”

“Well that's the trick.  Any higher being juiced up powerfully can ignored the most strongest summoning spell right?”

Castiel nods.

“But all beings no matter how powerful have one thing in common” Dean pauses ”use their own juice against them or more like this one his blood” Dean finishes.

“Gabriel's blood?” Cas asks “no angel or archangel ever allowed anyone or anything to take their blood.  Otherwise it could be used against them, we all know this rule.”

Dean smiles big “that’s were our girl Kali comes in.”

“I don’t understand.”

“That night when all the mythology gods and goddess had us Sam and I trapped.  I told you how she did it, she took a vial of blood from me and Sam and she used it to hold us.  She also had Gabriel’s blood.  Well when old Lucy showed up she was more than willing to give Sam and my blood back, but she kept Gabriel’s” Dean finishes.

“That’s the reason you want to summon her, she still has it?” Hannah concludes.

“Yahtzee.”

They start preparing the ingredients as Sam watches from the shadows.  “When did Dean have time to figure this all out” Sam ponders.  He looks up when he hears chalk being scraped along the floor.  Dean had rolled up the carpet and was drawing an intricate summoning circle, different from what they drawn all their lives.

When Dean finishes he asks Cas and Hannah to stand at certain points outside circle, both holding a gold bowl, with the ingredients they mashed and mixed.

Dean looks at them “so remember at certain points in the tones I make you need to light your bowl right away, that's why it takes three people to do this.  Be fast and simultaneous, no hesitating” Dean looks directly at both angels and begins.  Sam get his gun ready by taking the safety off.  “Well here we go again down the rabbit hole” Sam thinks.  He moves around the archway and stands close to the bookcase.  He can still see Dean.  Cas and Hannah’s backs as are to him.  Sam waits and watches for any mistakes, to his surprise Dean is almost finished and Cas and Hannah immediately react when Dean hits a pitch perfect low tone and then a perfect high pitch tone.  They light their bowls and then 'voosh' the smoke and light show begins.  When everything clears Kali is standing in the circle, just as Sam remembers her except she's wearing a white pantsuit instead of the red and black gear she wore last time.

She quickly spins around to face Dean.  She  walks towards him but then stops at the circle's edge.  She slams her fist and it’s like hitting an invisible wall.

“Sorry sweetheart look down.”  She looks down and sees what's outside the circle, another drawing.  “Looks like old Krishna didn't trust all his god and goddess either, made sure there was an effective way to keep them locked in a circle” Dean smiles smugly.

“What do you want?” she hisses.

“You have something we need.”

“I really doubt that” Kali smiles and folds her arms.

“Aw darling, don’t be like that” Dean drawls and smiles that full on flirty grin that no lady can resist.

“I already said 'no' to you the first time we met. What makes you think I’ve changed my mind?” Kali flirts right back.

“I’ve changed since that first time.  I think you'd be surprised as too how much and if I recall correctly” Dean steps close to the circle barely a breath away very seductively “you love men with power and who can keep up with you” he whispers the last part.

Kali holds her breath and looks down as something radiates down her skin.  She looks back-up at Dean’s intense green eyes.  There's something powerful and alluring in Dean, now she can sense it.

“Why Dean, are you implying you’ve join the ranks of godhood?” she smirks.

“Oh baby, I don’t need titles” he says before is eyes flash full black and, most surprising, the Mark begins to glow brightly.

“Well, well, well Dean Winchester has joined the ranks of demon hood and crossed over to the dark side.  Very impressive” Kali tilts her head as she appraises Dean.

“Aw baby, you say the nicest things, but you got me figured all wrong” Dean is still half circling Kali and appreciating the beauty in front of him.  “You'v got give Gabe credit” Dean thinks, “the archangel does have great taste in women.”

Castiel clears his throat “uh Dean, I hate to interrupt but we have a more pressing matter.”  Sam huffs quietly and rolls his eyes where he still stands in the background amongst the shadows of the bookcase and the archway.  He’d already lowered the gun and was resting against the wall.  “Leave it to Dean to think with his downstairs brain instead of his upstairs brain when it comes to women and sex” he thinks. 

Apparently Hannah shares the same sentiments.  “Okay enough, of this blatant disregard for the situation we are in” she huffs and looks at both demon and war goddess. “Do you or do you not have Gabriel’s blood?” Hannah narrows her eyes as she look directly into Kali’s.

“No” she answers,

Hannah blinks “you are lying, why would you lie?” Hannah is confused at Kali's refusal to help.

“Well Hannah, this is why we negotiate first before we make our demands known and show all of our cards” Dean quietly lectures.

“Cards?” she looks even more confused, “we don’t have cards.”

“It's not a reference to real cards” Cas tries to explain “its more of a…” he looks at Hannah's confused look and sighs, “never mind I’ll explain later.”

Sam is watching the whole exchange with a bit of amusement but boredom too.  Right now he would be stepping in to appeal to Kali's, hopefully understanding, side.  “I bet Dean's regretting me not being here to do the convincing, like I've always done with witness and other beings in the past” he thinks before slumping against the wall.  He wonders if he should say something, but is afraid he’ll get into trouble if he does.  So far no one has noticed he’s there, which is a good thing.  Sam realizes this is his chance to leave with everyone here distracted especially since there's no telling how long Kali will hold out with Gabriel’s’ blood.

Decision made, Sam backs off carefully trying not make any sudden movements to attract attention to himself.  He carefully eases back towards the archway, keeping the gun low.  Just as he is about to turn around and walk away he realizes he's forgotten to put the safety back on.  He glances monetarily at the argumentative group.

Kali is really annoyed and angry at Dean for managing to lure her here and trap her.  She could just play along and pretend she going to give into them and then take back the vial.  There is no way she is going to give up Gabriel.  As much as that damn archangel pisses her off she does really hold a torch for him in her heart, especially since he almost gave up his life for her and rescued her from Lucifer.  She owes him her loyalty, but then again all these angels walking around earth have really put a damper on her side of the world.  To hear the souls of the dearly departed stuck in limbo with nowhere to go because of heaven's gates being closed sucks too.  Maybe it would be better to get Gabriel involved?  She kind of knows the spell Dean is going to use to summon Gabe but they do need a drop of his blood, which she currently has.  However, it's not like she wants to do it for free.  She looks at Dean who is also busy studying her and waiting for her response.

“Hm, what are you offering?” she muses to him.

“I could make it worth your while.”

“I don’t know.  My worth is pretty expensive” she retaliates.  Then, as she's about to say something else, she sees a flash glint over to the right of Dean’s shoulder.  She narrows her eyes as she finally sees the younger Winchester.

Sam freezes as he catches Kali's eyes on him…

Kali’s voice goes cold “so Dean, waiting to see when you can distract me and have little brother sneak up on me and snatch the vial?” she says, anger filing in her eyes.

Dean looks confused “what?”

“Don’t play dumb with me!” she yells “or are you saying that's not your brother to right of you by the entrance to this room hiding in the shadows waiting for a chance to jump at me?” tone accusing.

Dean whips his head around in time to catch a mop of brown hair flash around the bend.  Dean eyes narrow and he starts towards the archway before picking up speed when he hears a familiar yelp.

He stops at the entrance of the hallway seeing said little brother sprawled on the floor, trying to pick himself up.

“Sammy!” Dean's voice is full of anger and concern.  Sam winces at the tone of voice directed at him.  Damn it.  He could have been father down the hallway if his panic hadn't made him forget that there were two steps to get down from where he was.  Now here he was sprawled on the floor again.

Dean takes the two steps down to help Sammy up before noticing the Taurus in Sam’s right hand.

“Sammy, you know better than to play with guns!” Dean lectures as he reaches down to take the gun from him.  Sam doesn't know what possess him but he pulls the gun close and twists away from Dean “no Dean, this is mine”.

“Baby, give me the gun now” Dean holds out his hand.  Sam looks a bit crestfallen, he didn’t do anything wrong, just what he normally does, have Dean’s back.  Dean holds Sammy's gaze with a firm narrowed eyes, jaw line tight.

“Now Sammy” there's no room for argument in his voice.  Sam slowly and reluctantly hands his Taurus over to Dean.  Dean cocks it just to make sure the safety is on, which it is, then he slips it into the back of his pants.  He turns back to Sam who is just staring down at the ground, scuffing the floor with his sock clad feet.

“As much as I want to scold you right now and take you over my knee, we need to get back to Cas, Hannah and Kali” Dean lectures as he wraps his arm around Sammy's waist to pick him up.  Sam sags against Dean.  He should have left sooner when he realized all was going well with Dean and Kali, but no, he had to stay longer and watch because he was in shock at how well Dean handled the summoning spell.  Dean hadn't even hesitated like he’d done in past when trying to remember the Latin exorcism from the top of his head.  Then of course he was seen by Kali and before he knew it he'd tripped over the last two steps.

Now here he was being taken to his room to be put back to bed? “wait why is Dean walking back up the steps to the….holy shit!....no, no, no” he thinks as he starts to squirm to get out of Dean's hold.  They walks through the archway into the living room where everyone else is.

“Settle down Sam” Dean warns him before turning to were Cas and Hannah are standing near Kali.  “Hannah could you please bring Sammy’s play pen in here?”  She looks surprised to see Sam but nods her head in acknowledgment.  Sam meanwhile has completely buried his face against his brother's neck refusing to look around, feeling his face go hot with embarrassment.  He feels Dean's movements as he walks towards something.  Then he's lifted up, but Sam holds on tight to Dean, not wanting anyone to see him like this.  Even if Cas and Hannah had already seen him he wasn't wearing the ridiculous baby blue layette gown with the open elastic bottoms and matching baby blue socks.

“Sammy you are way past your bedtime and this is the only way to keep an eye on you while I finish with this.  Now you will sit in your play pen and behave.”

“No please Dean, my room” he mumbles.

“No Sammy” Dean states as he unlatches Sam and puts him down.  There's more than a couple of comfortable pillows in the pen plus a soft white satin comforter Dean notices before he looks towards Hannah with question in his eyes.

“I thought it might be a little chilly in here for him and maybe he can go sleep there, while we work”, Dean raises his eyebrows, “most babies don’t like being alone and actually appreciate the hustle and bustle of their family being busy.  It lulls them to sleep better, gives them some sort of comfort” Hannah explains while she twiddles her hands hoping she didn't over step.

Dean smiles at her and thanks her, he unfolds the blanket and covers Sam with it.  He's sitting up and looking up at everyone through the bangs that fallen forward.  Dean reaches to the desk next to the pen and grabs a pacifier then turns back to Sam and goes to give it to him, but Sam looks at him with a startled expression.

“Dean” he pleads, voice hitched and whispered low.  Dean’s just gives him a look and Sam parts his lips with tear glazed eyes.  Dean slips in the yellow pacifier and gently runs his fingers through Sammy’s hair causing Sam to whimper around the pacifier.  Sam's chest feels tight with emotion as a tear escapes.  He’s hurting with utter humiliation.  Everyone saw how he was just reprimanded and treated like he was a naughty baby.

Kali had been watching the whole proceeding with interest and a bit amusement.  When Sammy looks woefully over to her she feels something soften inside her at the precious sight in front of her.

“Get some sleep Sammy, we'll talk later” Dean says still rubbing his head.  Sam looks at Cas, Hannah and Kali then slumps his shoulders in defeat before flumping down onto the pillows and turns away from everyone.

Kali clears her throat “perhaps I was being too hasty in my refusal to help” she says as kindly as she can.  Dean narrows his eyes.

“What do you want?” Dean asks suspiciously.

“What? Can’t a girl change her mind?” she asks innocently.

“No, not you, so what do you want in exchange” Dean asks again more firmly.

“Look, I really want to help and…” she falters here.

“And?” Dean raises his eyebrows waiting.

“Well, once you get Gabriel here, you and Castiel will need to go to heaven with Gabriel and by the looks of it your little brother is out of commission to go along for the ride.”

Dean looks at her puzzled.  He's wondering where this is going.

“So you’ll need someone to stay behind and look after him” she mumbles that last part.  Dean is amused.

“You're offering” he smiles.

“There really doesn’t seem to be much of a choice” she tries to sound bored.

“Well ...” before Dean can finish that sentence, Hannah steps up.

“Actually there is me” she reminds Dean looking at Kali then back at Dean.  “What does she know about infants and children, and what experience does she have?”  She asks, head held high waiting for Kali’s answer, but before Kali answers, Dean replies.

“Actually Hannah, you’d be surprised.  People only remember Kali as the war, death and fire goddess of Hinduism, but she is also the goddess of fertility and mother to her people.  She is known to love all children and innocent souls” Dean explains.  “So, she not only is a great baby-sitter, but more importantly a great protector too.” Dean finishes.

Kali raises her head, reaches for her neck and pulls out the necklace she is wearing, the vial hanging from it.  She gives the necklace one tug and it breaks then she holds it out to Dean.  Dean smiles reaches down with his knife and scratches the circle.

Kali steps out and hands the vial to Dean, “thank you” he says as he takes it from her hand but stops her before she withdraws away completely.  He holds her elbow and leans down “so what gives?” he genuinely asks.

Kali sighs “nothing, it’s like you said.  I am the mother goddess of my people and... “she lets out a breath “you brother awoke something inside me.”

Dean smiles inside realizing Sammy is still doing what he is naturally good at, getting people to open up and trust them.

Dean rubs his hands together “well let’s get this party started.”  Kali, Cas and Hannah are in agreement with Dean and set up to prepare the next ingredients that will bring a certain ex-trickster to the bunker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like chapter 8 and I hope I don't take too long with chapter 9. I have an idea  
> Let's just say a certain little brother takes advantage of Hannah and Kali dislike and mistrust of each other, to escape.  
> Like my friend said she would not like to be in their shoes when Dean gets back from heaven with Cas and Gabe.
> 
> Also you would not want to be in Sams' shoes once he finds you and who he finds you with ;) can i say "Hello boys" or more appropriate "Moose been awhile"


	9. Down the Rabbit hole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How far down the rabbit hole has Sam fallen he is beginning to wonder about his role and its not helping when certain beings keep reminding him of his place.  
> Well maybe its about time Sam shows them who he truly is and prove to them once and for all "No body puts Sammy in a corner".... well maybe Dean, but that's beside the point!  
> Will Sammy second attempt in escape succeed this time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is dedicated to Miss Pixieleigh1234 who wrote "Home" and to Miss CompassionandCaring who wrote "Love and more love" - one shot infantilism works- (of- course I love her baby Sammy one shots) but thanks to the both of them , they help me get through my writer's block. By reading their baby Sammy fics I was able to re energize and awaken my muse. THANK YOU both for this gift I hope you like this chapter.
> 
> Oh and Miss.FloofeyMarshmellow can't wait to see her baby Sam too!! :)
> 
> OH my god 3 and 1 /2 months later I apologize to all the readers who have supported this story and your patience is incredible.  
> As I mention to a reader My Friend and Beta has not been feeling well these past few months physically and mentally and I did not want to add more to her plate. SO I reassure her her health is much more important to me than then my chapter and asked her to take her time and get better.
> 
> Until she gets better i am not giving a time line, but i can assure you that I'll post more sooner that 3 months.
> 
> Thank you all for your patience and love

Chapter 9: Down the Rabbit Hole:

Sam laid on his side; he could hear the others moving around as he stared listlessly at the lights and shadows playing on the wall across from his playpen.  He wasn't sure how he felt, was it useless? helpless?  Small?  It felt like everything was swirling around his head and stomach.  He sucked harder on the pacifier and felt his tension begin to ease.  “God, I think I'm getting used to chewing on this thing.  It's just like when I used to use my pen to chew on when thinking about things” he thought.

He couldn't understand why he was just lying there, staring at the walls.  It’s not like he couldn't stand up and walk out since the rail of the play pen was only waist high.  He suddenly realized that he was afraid of the consequences that he hadn't needed to worry about since Dean had picked him up from Stanford.  Crap he thought as he huffed around the pacifier before tugging the blanket over his head.  “This is humiliating, degrading, and downright wrong!  I should be up and helping Dean and the others, not be put to bed like,…like I really can’t stay up past 8pm!” he thought angrily.

What happened to “you and me; come whatever” or the “I can’t do this without you” speeches?  Then the worse memory came to mind as he remembered his speech and confession to Dean that ended with “what happens, when you decide you can’t trust me again?”  Sam gulped and wondered if he had hit rock bottom again.  He wondered if Dean had decided not to trust him again.  Small pieces of the puzzle in Sam’s head were coming together.  That’s why Hannah and Cas were here and now Dean even had help from a goddess too.

Did he not matter to his brother anymore?  He suddenly felt as if he'd never been an important part of the Winchester team.  He couldn't help but wonder whether that was why his dad never took anything he had to offer seriously.  “God”, he groaned inwardly “I thought that I was pas all these stupid childhood fears and insecurities!  I thought I'd finally gotten closure regarding them.  So why am I questioning my role now?”  Sam frowned as he continued his self-introspection “gee, it may be because watching Dean do a perfect Hinduism summoning and finding a spell to call an archangel by himself put things in perspective.  I'd wanted to help out but for some strange reason Dean hadn't allowed me to.  Moreover, he hadn't even needed my help.”

Sam could feel tears pooling in his eyes as he remembered asking Dean back in the church what would happen when he decided that he couldn’t be trusted again.  “I begged him and now”, he sniffed, “I've been pushed aside, again, in favor of Cas, Hannah and even Kali.”  He grabbed one of the extra pillows hugging it close before pulling the comforter tighter around himself.  That was when he felt a hand pat his head and then begin to rub his back.

Sam tensed a bit before relaxing when he realized its was Dean simply from the comfort it offered.  He could hear Dean talking to the others as he kept rubbing his back.  He spoke in low tones, as though Sam was sleeping and didn't want to wake him up.  Sam wanted to snort at that thought, but since he felt protected with the blanket over himself he preferred to pretend that he’d fallen asleep and not let the others know he was still awake.  He'd been through enough humiliation to last a life time.

Sam's eyes widened at a sudden realization; Dean hadn't mentioned him once nor acknowledged any of his previous thoughts.  That meant that Dean could only possibly sense his presence and some of the emotions he'd had during his earlier pity party.  His hand clenched into a fist as he realized that Dean hadn't discovered the sigil painted on his left hand!  

“Okay calm down”, Sam coached himself.  He took a deep breath and exhaled.  His mind started to plan.  He just needed to bide his time and wait for an opportunity to present itself.  However, it couldn't take too long or he would be discovered.  With that thought he settled down and waited.

“Cas, how you coming along with the runes and symbols on the floor,” Dean asked as he stood by Sam’s make shift crib.

“Slow Dean, very slow.  It won't go faster if you keep asking, you know this is not a, ordinary summoning circle for a demon.  We are calling Gabriel here against his will, one wrong mark and the whole thing will blow up in our face, not to mention what he’ll do to us if he gets angry that we've summoned him.”

“That’s what the holy fire is for, we just need to time it perfectly and besides you still got me as plan 'B'” Dean smirked.

“Dean although you may think you are indestructible, you don’t want to piss off Gabriel.  We need him on our side.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it beside, Gabe likes me, he said so on more than one occasion” Dean reassured Cas, although the angel didn't have any confidence in that remark.

It took all of Sam’s inner strength not to jump up when Gabriel was mentioned, especially Cas’s remark about upsetting the archangel.  He’d had enough experience with jerk angel; first the encounter in Springfield, Ohio.  Then later Broward County, Florida encounter was one of his least favorite memories, and he still had nightmares about that time loop day.  They both also had experience of a pissed of Gabriel in Wellington, Ohio.  He'd wanted them to say yes or be stuck in TV land forever.  Sam guessed that Gabriel had redeemed himself in Dean’s eyes when in Muncie, Indiana he'd helped them escape the motel from hell with all the Gods and Goddess gunning for them.  However, that event didn't put him on the list of people Sam would trust.

He didn't want to be seen like this by Gabriel that was for sure.  He'd gotten the archangel's attention and possible respect when he'd spent 6 months hunting him down after Dean had died.  Now, 6 years after the last time they'd seen Gabriel, he couldn't help believing that Gabe would have a field day with Sam’s new look.  The mere thought made him cringe.  Maybe he should convince Dean he wanted to be in his room, but was he supposed to be pretending to be asleep.  Without realizing it Sam sucked more on the pacifier causing Dean to lower towards him “S’alright Sammy, not gonna let anything happen to you, you’re safe” Dean murmured as he continued to rub circles on his brother's back.  Sam didn't mean to lean into Dean’s touch, but damn it, he needed it.

Then he heard Hannah’s voice close by “Maybe Sam should be in his room before Gabriel’s arrival?” she offered.

“I think for safety I would rather have Sam close by until after we summon Gabriel and secure him then you can take Sam to his room” Dean told Hannah who nodded in understanding.

Dean looked at the group, each holding a bowl again, except for Kali and him.

“Well I guess we are ready as we are gonna be.  Let’s get this show on the road” Dean announced.  He was standing at the north of the circle, Kali at the south, and Castiel and Hannah at the east and west.  Dean nodded at them then looks at Kali, “As soon as I am done with the incantation, you need to be ready to drop just one drop of Gabe’s blood at the south of the circle at the same time as my blood drops at the north.”  Kali nodded at Dean before looking down to see the perfect small circle where the drop was to fall.  Dean had to drop his blood into an identical circle in front of him.  Kali knew both life forces would meet half way inside the circle.  His to summon the archangel and Gabe's to strengthen the summons.  

She cocked an eyebrow at Dean and smiled “I am ready, whenever you are” she told him.

“Right” Dean replied.  He gave everyone one last look and began to chant the Enochian words that Castiel had made sure Dean knew perfectly.  As he got closer to the last part he looked at Kali and she joined in perfect harmony making them sound as one.  Dean looked to Cas next as Kali looked to Hannah and they joined in the last sentence.  Cas lit his the bowl which flamed blue, then Hannah lit hers which was a blood red flame.

The scholar in Sam couldn’t resist looking so he turned over and pulled off the blanket, curiosity winning to watch the light show.  A roar of thunder echoed and the room shook a bit.  He watched as Dean sliced his hand and a small drop of blood fell from his hand at the same time as Kali tipped the vial in perfect unison.

As the drops of blood hit the ground there was a small bright flash of light and then the circle lit up.  The light raced around the circle connecting Dean’s blood to Gabriel’s blood.  As the blood connected Sam realized that it was like a Yin and Yang symbol.  As a Knight of Hell Dean had equal power to the archangel's.  No wonder it had to be Dean doing the summoning.  No one else's blood would work.  He noticed Dean grimace as he stood as though fighting a pull.   It hit Sam “of course!” he thought “Gabriel has to be fighting the pull but is being anchored by Dean.  Dean needs to hold his stance otherwise….otherwise what?.....”  Sam sat up and watched Castiel's face and the words “it will blow up in our face” came to him.  He realized that Gabe must be pulling from wherever he is and if he wins he’ll pull Dean into the summoning circle.  And then what?

Sam bit his lower lip, worry creasing his brow as he thought.  He didn't know what would happen since he hadn't done any research on this.  He watches Cas’ face for any reaction, who was also looking at Dean with a worried look.  Sam's expression changed to determine as he stood up and was about to get out the pen when he felt a hand on his arm.  He looked around to see Hannah standing next to him.

“No Sam, you cannot interfere, you’ll make it worse if you try to touch Dean or pull him away.  You know very well you cannot stop certain spells once they’ve started.”

“But…” Sam glanced at her but she held up her hand to shush him and pointed to Dean.  He looks over and saw the Mark beginning to glow, first low and then getting brighter and brighter.  Dean’s eyes went black and he started to growl.  He took a step back and then another, his body taut and his arm muscles tightened and tensed.  It looked like an invisible tug of war, one that Dean was winning.  As he took a another step back, the circle illuminated more.  

There was a bright flash and a loud sonic boom.  Had Hannah not been there to grab Sam he would have ended up on the other side of the room, possibly hitting the wall.  As it was, they both ended up on the floor behind the play pen, Hannah's arms encircled his waist as he embarrassingly and awkwardly sat on her.  He tried to quickly scramble off her but Hannah gently rose with him.  “Thanks” he murmured as they stood together, Hannah's arm around his waist.  

Before he could say anything else he heard an exaggerated cough through the dispersing smoke.  As it cleared he saw Gabriel waving his hand as he tries to swat the smoke away.

“Okay, enough with the theatrics” Dean called out to Gabe.  Gabe slowly stood up straight, fixing his blue jacket.  Brushing the lapels and his arms he turned around with a big smirk.

“Dean-O fancy meeting you here.”

“Ditto” Dean replied.

Gabriel turned to look around the room and seeing every one.

“Is this party in my honor? he joked “Wow all this fuss over little me?” he quirked.  Then his eyes landed on Kali.

“Sweetheart, if you needed to see me so badly all you had to do was ask.”  Kali growled at that statement.

“Not in your wildest dreams” she spat.

“Aw honey, you wound me.  What happened?  I thought we made up pretty well in Cairo last year.”

“Well you seem to forget the third little party who joined us” Kali said in with cold tone.

“Baby, you're still not upset about Isis?” Gabe quipped.  “Hey, you know she has nothing on you?”

Kali eyes blazed red and she took a menacing step towards Gabriel “You let her into our suite in Cairo and her feathers were all over the place!”

“Hey, it’s not my fault she was molting!  You know birds molt when season change.”

Kali screeched “You idiot!  She’s not really a bird!  She’s a goddess and she does not molt.  IF she did the only reason she would because of high emotions; like sexual arousal!!”  She looked like she was about to stab Gabriel with what looked like an Angel Blade until Dean grabbed her around the waist.

“HEY both of you just cool it!” Dean yelled “Kali you're not helping here.”  Gabriel looked relieved when he saw Dean hold back Kali.

“Okay fine, let’s get down to business Gabriel huffed.  I’m pretty sure we're not here just to admire me.”

After calming Kali down Dean turned to face Gabriel.  “Right, I think you've a pretty good idea why you're here” Dean said in a serious tone.

“Yeah, you guys broke heaven and now you need me to fix it.  Well tough I’m not in the business of lending my help twice.  Beside last time I checked you guys got me killed when I decided to save your asses” Gabe finished.

“Okay yes, that's true, but not before you asked us to take your girlfriend here far away from that place” Den countered “beside it looks like you did pretty good using a doppelgänger that night.  Knowing what was needed to take down Lucifer, you left it to me and Sam to do it knowing what it would cost us while you went away until the whole apocalypse blew over.  As I see it you owe us and if I am being honest you especially owe Sam” Dean finished with a low growl in his voice as he allowed his righteous anger to simmer to the surface.

“Oh you do now, do you?” Gabriel sneered “the way I see it, little brother ACTUALLY did what he was supposed to, clean up his mess!  Or are you conveniently forgetting that part Dean-o?”

Dean stepped up close to Gabriel and leaned in “Oh no, I am definitely not forgetting how Sam was USED AND PLAYED with by heaven!  But no worries Sammy, having the bleeding heart that he does, accepted your idea of getting all 4 horse man keys, allowing Lucifer to possess him and then jumping into the cage to get him back in.  But then again that was what you were hoping for weren’t you?  You knew Sam would rise to the challenge and accept it.  Then what?  How long were you planning on leaving him there?  Did you think he merited staying in the cage with your brother for eternity!?”  Dean's anger boiled, he lost the control over his eyes as they turned black and the mark lit up.

It had bothered Dean since he first heard whisper that Gabriel didn't die at the Motel in Ohio although he'd ignored it at first.  Of course, later that stupid over eager fledgling demon, trying to kiss ass and get ahead brought something more substantial and he couldn't ignore it any longer.  He'd had to look into it and had confronted Crowley about it.  The damn bastard didn’t even blink an eye as though he was expecting Dean’s questions.

They went to Crowley’s quarters in hell and he gave Dean what he was looking for.  He learned that Gabriel had made two duplicates himself while he fought with Lucifer and he got away while Lucifer thought he was stabbing the real Gabriel.  It was tricky and Gabe did get hurt trying pull it off.  It was the fact that the archangel was alive and, just like Death or God, he could have the power to pull Sam out of the Cage but instead choose to leave him there to rot for all eternity that was UNACCCEPTABLE.  Where did all these freaking beings get off deciding that his Sammy deserved to stay in the cage with not just Lucifer but Michael as well?!  Knowing that they all knew “Sammy's soul was always pure innocent, childlike, trusting and vulnerable” but wanted to destroy that light and almost succeeded started to make Dean’s blood boil, his rage thunder.

The lights in the bunker started to flicker as the rage rolled off him in waves.

“WOHOHOO DEAN-O, you didn’t? but oh my father you so did!” Gabe smirked with glee mixed with awed surprise.  “Of course it would be you, which meant you tracked down Cain and took on the Mark.  Oh do I feel sorry for you” Gabe finished, not before Dean’s eyes flashed even more glinting with power.  

Before anyone could react the Blade suddenly appeared in Dean’s hand and it came swinging down clashing with the archangel blade Gabriel suddenly pulled out of nowhere.  Light sparks came off of both blades when they connected filling the bunker room with the thunder.  That and the roar of both powerful beings awakened Castiel from his shock of seeing Gabriel and he rushed to Dean’s side yelling for him to stop whilst Kali grabbed Gabriel.

Neither of the two wanted to back down and kept their eyes locked on each other, swords crossed, faces right next to each other.  That’s when a small, innocent and scared voice was heard.

“D’n?”

Dean snapped his head in that direction and what he saw made the black in his eyes disperse immediately and his green eyes fill with concern.  The power waves he had been emitting died down within in seconds.

Sam stood next to the playpen with the pacifier in his mouth, holding on to the stuffed dog, his layette was a bit torn and ruffled, and his hair askew due to the earlier sonic blast that had knocked him down.  He was looking at Dean with worried, scared eyes as his fingers rolled anxiously in his baby gown.

Dean’s heart clenched at the sight of his little brother looking so lost and scared.  He glanced at Cas to check that he was still next to him before handing him the blade and walking over to Sam quickly.

“Hey Baby it’s okay” Dean's voice was soft and soothing.  Sam was ready to take a step back as Dean approached but he felt Hannah’s hand on his back and was reminded that she'd told him that he needed to do this in order to help Dean regain control.

Sam swallowed carefully and waited for Dean to get closer.  When Dean reached him, Sam realized that he was trembling, not because he was scared of Dean, but because he was scared for Dean.

When Dean’s arm went to lift and hug him he melted into it right away and put his head on his brother's shoulder.  He let out a shuddering breath because the thought of losing Dean again was too much for him to handle right now.

“Hey it’s all right Sammy, I’m sorry I scared you” Dean's voice was low and soothing again, as he rubbed Sam’s back to calm the quaking fear he could feel inside of his little brother.  Sam muffled a teary laugh feeling slightly embarrassed but comforted as well.  The spell was broken, when he heard a loud clapping sound behind them.

“Way to go, I never thought I'd see the day that the great proud Sam Winchester was brought down to this level.  So big brother finally got around to putting little brother in his place.” Gabriel gleefully laughed.

Sam cringed at the sound and tried to push away from Dean to get down, but Dean held on tight.

Sam spat out the pacifier “Dean I’m okay now” he whispered to Dean.

“No you’re not and it’s okay if my disagreement with Gabriel, scared you a bit” Dean responded.

“A bit?!” Sam huffed “try more a lot and I was not scared, I was worried.  This proves to me it’s a bad idea for you to keep the Mark!” Sam finished.

“Sam getting angry with feather head there does not mean I don't have any control.  If anything I have more control now.”

“Hey I resent that!” Gabriel interjected.

“Shut up” both Winchesters replied.

“Then what the hell was that Dean, just now! If I hadn’t….” Sam realized that he was still in Dean’s arms and felt stupid having the argument like that.  He put his hands on Dean’s shoulders and really pushed, Dean rolled his eyes and sighs but put Sammy down.

“If I hadn’t interfered you’d still be, clashing ego power with Gabriel!” Sam fumed.

“Anyone will piss me the hell off when it comes to your safety and wellbeing” Dean responded.

“Not while you have the Mark Dean, it makes you go overboard” Sam argued.

“I doesn't make me go overboard Sammy; I always go overboard when it comes to you” Dean commented, “The mark just let you see it now”

Sam rolled his eyes at that comment, like he didn’t know that already from 31 years of living with Dean.

Sam huffed at Dean’s lame answer, “I don’t see why you have to dwell on what happened in the past.  It’s done; nothing can be done about it now.”

“I get that; but knowing and seeing this douche bag reminds me that he could have gotten you out of the cage the moment you trapped Lucifer inside it.”

Kali at decided to intervene and coughed causing Dean to look over at her.

“That’s not entirely correct, yes Gabriel could have gotten your brother out, but he was injured when facing off with Lucifer.”

Both Winchesters looked at her waiting for more, she sighed.

‘Yes, he used a doppelgänger but remember he had to trick and make sure Lucifer believed he was facing off with the real Gabriel, so he wore it on top of his vessel.  When Lucifer went for the kill Gabe was supposed to jump back and fly out of there.  Something went wrong though and the force of Lucifer’s blade when it connected to the doppelgänger made Gabe’s grace latch on to the doppelgänger as he tried to push-off.  Just before the blade completely pierced through the doppelgänger’s body, Gabriel allowed his grace to leak out producing an explosion to help propel him backwards.  It worked but at the cost of getting partially stabbed with the archangel blade.  By the time he got to me, he was bleeding profusely.  The only way I could help him, as I could see his light fading, was to put him in a hibernated state so that he could heal.  He had been using the last of his grace to keep himself alive so he wasn’t able to heal himself fast.”

‘How long?” was Dean’s only question?

“One year” Kali replied.  Dean swore “and the other 6 months?” he asked.

“I was convinced you had managed to get your brother out of the cage” Kali replied before Gabe said anything stupid again.  “When he woke, Gabriel did want to check on both of you but I insisted that I send one of my servants to get intel, they saw you hunting with your brother again.  I was unaware of the situation regarding your brother’s soul.”

Dean felt a pinch from Sam, he turned to glance at his brother.  Sam, not very subtly, whispered “Let it go”.  He realized that Sam wanted him to believe them and stop the interrogation.  He'd give Kali, and by extension Gabriel, the benefit of doubt, but only for Sam.  If he found out that either was lying there'd be hell to pay.

 He thought for a second “Ok, I’m gonna believe you.  I believe that Gabriel would have saved Sam from the Cage if he could and that it was a simple error to mistake soulless Sam with the real deal.”

There was a pause in the conversation, and Sam yawned causing everyone to turn to him.

“So looks like the big baby is getting tired” Gabriel smirked.

Sam startled as he realized that he had been caught yawning.  Dean smiled indulgently at his brother realizing that it was really late. “Okay Sasquatch it's way past your bed time, let's go get you settled back down.”

Sam took a few steps back hands up in placation, “wait Dean, I thought we were discussing going to heaven to get Castiel’ s grace back?” For a few moments he'd felt like he was a part of the team again and wanted to be involved in the discussion.

“Correcto mundo baby moose, The grown-ups were talking about getting into heaven but little ones should be sleeping with their teddy’s now” Gabe quipped enjoying Sam's discomfort.

“Shut it!  I don’t need your two cents Gorilla breath” Dean snapped.

“HEY!” Gabe yelled, but still put his hand in front of his mouth, blowing on it before sniffing just to make sure.

“Come on Sammy, time for bed” Dean said as he reached to pick up Sam.

“Okay Dean I get it, but I can walk to my room” Sam quickly moved out of Dean’s reach only to slam into Hannah, who caught him before he could stumble further.  Feeling embarrassed, he apologized to her.   She smiled reassuringly before telling him “its okay.”  Suddenly he felt a strong arm wrap around his waist and before he could get free, he felt himself being lifted.

“No Dean!” he yelped, this time not grabbing on to Dean but purposely using the strength in his arms to push.  He tried to twist his body out of Dean’s arms while yelling “want down” at Dean.

“Settle down Sammy” Dean calmly said as he bounced him up and down in his arms while rubbing his back.  Sam was mortified; it just made him want to get down even more.  

The sound of Gabriel's mocking voice was the straw that broke the camel's back for Sam.

“Listen to big bro, little guy.  You wouldn’t want to go to bed with a warm bottom would you?”

He’d forgotten that everyone was watching them.  He froze in his struggles, both hands on Dean’s shoulders, and allowed his gaze to sweep the room.  He saw Cas, Hannah, Kali and Gabriel all standing off to the side in a semicircle but, he realized with a gulp, they were all watching him and Dean.  He was aware that it only took a few seconds for him to argue, struggle and then freeze to gaze about, but it felt like he was going in slow motion.  The last quip from Gabe had made Sam drop his head.  Then he felt it, he tried to stop it, didn't understand why his emotions were reacting this way.  His breath hitched as he tried to calm himself, but could feel his eyes grow wet.

“Hey buddy, what wrong?” Dean asked his voice warm and comforting.  “Don’t”, Sam mentally told himself “don’t do it ….”  He felt the tightness in his chest again and tried to suppress the bubbling emotions as he felt his lower lip begin to tremble.  Sam raised his head to look directly at Dean.

“Aw Sammy.”

That did it.

Sam burst into tears before he could stop himself, the flood gates open on high.  He couldn't stop the tears and suddenly didn't want to.  He flinched when he felt someone else's hand on his back besides Dean’s.  He gazed through his tears to see Cas and Hannah next to him and Dean.

“What wrong Sam?” Cas' voice was laced with concern.  Instead of answering he just leant into Dean and hid his face.

“Sam's just really tired now Cas.  It's 10:30, two hours past his bed time.  Damn I should have put him straight to bed and waited until he was settled before summing Gabriel.  Now he’s just irritated and fussy because of being tired” Dean explained to Cas.

“Hannah could you please grab me Sam’s bottle from the fridge and warm it?  I’m taking him to his room now.”  Dean held him closer and he felt Dean patting his bottom while he was talking making Sam wail in addition to his tears, his breath hitching each time.

“Whoa, the little guy really is tuckered out” Gabe responded causing Sam to wail even more.

“Not helping Gabe” Dean griped.

“Hey, I was just teasing, I didn’t mean any harm” Gabe's voice was actually apologetic “hey Sam; you know I was just joking, right tough guy?”

Sam just grabbed Dean tighter, “Not now Gabe, I think it's just been an overwhelming night for Sammy.”

Kali slapped Gabriel on the arm “HEY!” he protested.  “Pick on somebody your own size next time” she fumed at him. “Hey, I said I was sorry” he said with a pout.

Dean walked away with a small smile on his face as he remembered his early thoughts on Sam’s tears, “yup will break anyone, be it human or supernatural” he smirked.

He walked into Sam’s room with Hannah following just behind, warm bottle in hand as she watched Dean try to put Sam down on his changing table.  Sam just tightened his grip on Dean.

“Ok” Dean sighed “not gonna put you down let’s sit on the couch” he said carrying Sam to the couch.  Hannah waited a moment before walking over as Dean sat down with Sam on his lap as Sam curled into Dean’s chest and neck, still crying.

She handed the bottle to Dean who took it from her.

“Is there anything else I can help you with Dean?”

Dean smiled gratefully “can you go to Sammy’s closet and get the green layette for me, please?  Oh, and one of the washcloths from Sammy's changing table.”

“Of course” Hannah nodded and did as asked.  She grabbed the baby soft layette from the closet and a soft yellow cloth from the changing table before walking back to Dean.  She could hear him humming a song to Sam as he rocked him.  It seemed to have calmed Sammy's wails and tears a bit although the boy was still snuffling and hiccupping a bit into his big brother's shoulder.  She bit her lip wishing she could also offer some comfort to the child.

“Okay Sammy, let’s me see” Dean gently lifted Sam’s face to wipe his tears and snot.  Sam allowed Dean to dote on him, his mind and body were exhausted and he didn't want to fight anymore.  He blew when Dean held the cloth to his nose; his breath shuddering as he breathed in and out.  

Sam looked at Dean as he felt him lift his gown, tipping him a bit to rest over his shoulder in order to pull the gown out from under his butt.  Dean expected Sam to tense, but he didn't.  He sat Sam back up and pulled his arms out of the gown before pulling it over his head.  

Sam sat on Dean’s lap in just his diaper and socks aware of Hannah but not caring, content to listen to the calming hum of 'Stairway to Heaven.'

Hannah handed Dean the green gown, and watched as he gently put it on Sam, curious about the song melody Dean is singing.

“Might I ask what song are you humming to Sam?  It's not any of the lullabies I heard in heaven.”

Dean chuckled “well, I suppose that's because it’s not your average lullaby, but to Sam it is.”  Dean noticed Hannah's confused look and sighed “if you know of our history, you know Dad and I only knew one lullaby and it was the one mom would sing to me and later Sam.”

“Hey Jude” Hannah replied causing Dean to look up in surprise “yeah.”

“But that does not sound like the notes to the song you just hummed.”

“Yeah, well growing up with dad and me there was only one type of music he and I would listen to while driving the Impala.  Those songs were Sammy’s lullabies on long journeys or restless nights.”

“Ah, I understand now.  The songs are the comforts of home to Sam.”

“Exactly” Dean replied as Sam let out a yawn and lent his head against Dean.

“Sorry Sammy, let’s get you settled” Dean said rising with Sam in his arms before going over to the large armchair and settling them in it.  He brought the warm bottle to Sam lips.  Sam latched on without a fuss blinking tiredly at Dean.  Hannah excused herself and left the room quietly.

Dean began to rock his little brother as he hummed a familiar Bob Dylan tune.  Magically the mobile turned on.  It began to spin and play the same notes Dean was humming.

Dean started to sing softly “Mama, take this badge off of me

I can't use it any more

It's getting dark, too dark to see

I'm feelin' like I'm knocking on Heaven's door

Knock, knock, knocking on Heaven's door

Knock, knock, knocking on Heaven's door

Knock, knock, knocking on Heaven's door

Knock, knock, knocking on Heaven's door

Mama, put my guns in the ground  
I can't shoot them anymore

That long cold black cloud is coming down

I'm feelin' like I'm knocking on Heaven's door.”

Sam sighs contently as he drank down the warm milk, feeling Dean’s warmth seep through and over him. He vaguely remembered when he was two, it was a time of long drives with John and Dean as he gazed out the window to starlit nights, listening to the songs on the radio John had playing low.

He gave a small yawn around the teat and some milk dribbled out the corner of his mouth.  Dean was prepared and caught it before it ran under his chin.  Sam looked up at Dean as he wiped the cloth over his cheek then mouth.

“Hey baby” Dean cooed at him.  Sam looked annoyed as he huffed out a stream of gibberish followed by another small yawn but Dean understood what he'd meant.

“Yeah okay I got it’ Dean put down the less than quarter bottle of milk left then lent Sam over his left shoulder before patting his back until Sam gave a small burp.  After that Sam felt a bit better and more settled.  When Dean stood up he circled his arms around his neck.  Dean walked over to Sammy’s crib, and managed to lower the railing to the crib with one arm.  He laid Sammy down, watching his face scrunch when he realized he'd been put down.

“Ah, ah, ah Sammy.  It’s night, night time for you” Dean told him firmly before Sam started to fuss again.  Sam’s eyes glazed up a bit as he looked up at Dean.  Dean continued to tuck Sammy in purposely avoiding his puppy eyes.  “Time to sleep Sammy” he said more firmly and Sam gave the saddest sigh.  It suddenly hit Dean, of course!  He looked over to the couch and to see the stuff dog that Sammy had carried with him from the bunker library.

He flicked his wrist and the dog appeared in his hand and he smiled at Sam as he placed it next to him.  Sam immediately latched on to it and snuggled down for the night.  Dean also put Sam’s pacifier next to him, so that if he woke up he'd see it and take it.

Dean turned off the lights, except for the night light by the doorway and quietly walked out.  

Upon entering the library again he looked directly at Castiel and Gabriel “So you filled him in?” Dean asked Cas.  Cas nodded.

“And?” Dean raised an eyebrow at Gabe.

“Well, when you Winchester's pick a dozy solution, you sure pick one.  However, what you discovered, Dean, I gotta say I don’t even think Sam would've been able to decipher the clues this quickly.  I’m kind of surprised how well you've hidden your smarts, even from little bro. Man I’d always wonder how you boys got of tight spots.” Gabe smirked. “Admitted the dumb blond act you’ve had, was just that an act”

“A real gambler never reveals his last ace he has hidden in the deck, but the real question now is are you in or are you out?” Dean asked, tone low.

Gabe laughed out loud “I don’t think you were planning on giving me a choice, so here’s what I say Dean-o” Gabe face took on a challenging look “I’ll do it on one condition.”

“No deals” Dean immediately growled.

“Oh, you’ll like this one” Gabe assured.

“What are your terms brother?” Castiel finally spoke.

“Cas!’ Dean snapped.

“We should hear him out Dean, I’m not saying we will agree, but at least let’s give him the chance to present his terms, if he is willing to help” Castiel argued.

“Well said bro” Gabriel said before continuing.  “Well really I don’t have much of a choice, that douche bag Metatron closed heaven's gates and they need to be open and the only way to do that would be

through an archangel, that being me.  Plus I want to get Castiel’ s grace back, which is what is being used in a spell to hold the gates closed in the first place” Gabriel finished.

“Now as for what I want in return, I want to go back to earth and be left alone.” Gabe’s eyes narrowed

“But heaven needs an archangel to keep things in order until God comes back” Hannah protested.

“No you don’t.  The way I see it Heaven’s got two perfectly willing soldiers to help maintain the peace and balance there” Gabe replied easily.

“But you are a supreme being, an archangel that was created for the sole purpose of protecting heaven, earth and humans.  Without proper guidance how will we function?” Hannah exclaimed.

“The way you’re doing now” Gabe replied easily.

Castiel tried one more time “they need you up there, we need you… I need you” Castiel pleaded.

“Castiel, you got this” Gabriel winked at him “and now you are not alone; you have someone you can trust and balance you out.”  Gabriel placed to hands on Cas’ shoulders and nodded towards Hannah.

Castiel and Hannah looked at each other, “you are willing to walk away from home?” Cas asked Gabriel.

“Look it's not like I’m gonna go missing again.  I promise I’ll check in from time to time” Gabriel smiled at Cas.

“So, we done with the chick flick moment?” Dean said leaning against the wall of the library.  He followed that statement with “Cas you all right?”

“Yes Dean.  I will be fine.”

“Good.  We leave in ten minutes and I want to be back before Sammy wakes up.  We'll meet downstairs by the Impala.  I’ll pack a bag, cause I think we’ll be trekking through rough terrain to get to the gates.”

“Well it’s going to be bit harder than that” Gabe replied.

“I don’t see why.  With you we can enter heaven through the front door portal, without a hitch.”

“What part did you not get when I said that I’m not coming back?” Gabriel asked holding Dean’s gaze.

“Okay.  You’re not making any sense.  You said you’d help.”  It was Dean's turn to look perplexed.

“I can’t go waltzing in through the front door.  The moment I show my face, those angels and cherubs are gonna go nuts and it will cause another up roar and division.  With what Cas and Hannah are doing now, there's finally some semblance of unification” Gabriel explained.

“He’s right’ Cas hated to admit.

“Well I don’t see any other way this is gonna work, there is only one way into heaven and its through that portal” Dean argued.

“Dean, come on buddy you’re forgetting whom you’re talking to.”  Gabe had a mischievous look on his face “I wasn’t called the trickster for nothing.”

Dean looked doubtful.

“Aw come on!  You're telling me the great Dean Winchester never snuck out when he was not supposed to?” said Gabriel, giving him a knowing look.

“I’m listening.”

“Two words: back door, dude” Gabe smiled.

Castiel looked even more confused “are you saying there an actual back door to heaven?”

“Cas, how do you think I got past Michael, or the seraphim’s who guarded the front door?”

“Okay, so where is it?” Dean asked.

“Crook County, Wyoming.  About 800 miles north east from here” Gabe supplied.

“That’s 11 hours from here!” Dean exclaimed.  

“Whoa, Dean-o.  You forget, no need to drive, ya just pop yourself right over there.”

Dean looked at Castiel “you good for this Cas?”

“Unfortunately, no Dean.  Due to my dwindling grace I am unable to pop into Wyoming as Gabriel casually mentions”

“Then how have you been getting by?” Gabriel asked full of curiosity.

“Well, for one Hannah's full grace was restored and she fully healed when she entered heaven, so essentially she’s been my escort.”

“Well no problem-o, brother.  I’ll fly you over there, easy peasy” Gabe quipped.

“Thanks, but if it’s all right with you I’d rather drive there with Dean” Cas said looking at the man in question.

“Well that’s settled.  We're burning time.  I have a little brother to look after and I want to get back before he worries that I've left him and does something unsafe.”  

Dean left to pack his duffel bag before coming back to stand beside Hannah and Kali.  

“If you don’t mind staying back and looking after Sam” he questioned.

“Of course” Kali answered quickly before Hannah could reply, which she found rude.

“Right then.  If you look on the fridge there is list of foods that Sammy likes and his nap schedule.  There is plenty for Sam to do here play-wise.  Should anything come up, call me” Dean looked directly at Hannah.

“I assure you, I am experienced with little ones.  I’ll make sure Sam is well taken care of while you are away.”

“I am just as capable with children as she is” Kali intoned “and can give the same reassurance of Sam's wellbeing.”

“That’s not what I’m worried about” Dean smirked causing Hannah to tilt her head to the side “I do not understand.”

“There's a reason why I was Sam’s sole babysitter growing up, unless we were at Jim's or Bobby’s place, Dad feared for the Babysitter” Dean chuckles remembering.  “I was 12 and Sammy was still 7 but I needed to go on a hunt with Dad.  Bobby and Jim were not available.  Let’s just say the 17 year old girl would not stop asking how the kid managed to get past the mall play-place security, cause all the cameras to go on the fritz and the fire department to show up.  When she looked around with the staff's help, Sammy was nowhere to be found.  He was back at the motel huddled in bed with the motel’s phone calling Jim, Bobby and Dad until someone pickup.  After that fiasco, dad never asked another person to babysit.”

“I see, a very precocious child” Hannah said with understanding “I will be careful.”

“More like a naughty child to me’ Kali added “sounds to me your father was not firm enough.”

“Our dad was a Marine, don’t think you get much firmer than that, but yeah I’ll give you that he was a bit more lenient with Sammy before he found out about hunting.  That’s why Sam had a hard time with dad later, he couldn't assimilate the dad that used to give him hugs or tickles to the more drill sergeant attitude.  That was a rude awakening for Sam.”

“Dean, I can promise you Sam will be fine” Hannah smiled “you should get going now, and if all goes well I can tell Sam you’ll be back before his bedtime tomorrow.”

Dean nodded and started to walk with Cas towards the garage, Gabriel followed right behind them whistling a tune.

* * *

 

 

At seven am the next morning Sam stirred in his sleep and stretched feeling really well rested.  He let out a happy hum as he rolled over.  When he felt wetness spreading he sat up quickly, wanting to get out of bed fast but remembered that he was in a crib.  All he could do was sit as his bladder completely emptied out into his diaper.  

He felt his face flame in utter embarrassment and horror.  “Wha…what… I don’t… why did this…how could I just let go like that?” he thought frantically, his heart is thumping hard.  

The flow finally stopped.  Sam felt disgusted sitting in warm piss.

He felt himself start to shake and cut off a sob before it escaped his lips. His hand over his mouth, he looked over to the baby monitor hanging on the crib rails.  The last thing he needed was for Dean to come because he heard him cry and change him.  Very slowly he made his way to the rails and stood up on shaky legs.  They weren't shaking because he couldn’t stand up, but because he still felt the humiliation coursing through his body.  He grabbed the bars and peered over to the side and saw the slim small locks still in place.  He nodded to himself and grabbed tight onto the top rail before pulling himself up and over.  He dropped perfectly silently to the floor, looked around and began to make his way to the door, hoping to make it to the bathroom and get the wet disgusting thing off him.  

He reached for the door as it swung open, hitting him in the face!

“SON OF BITCH!” he yelled as he covered half of his face with his hands, feeling blood beginning to seep out between them.

“Sam!” Hannah exclaimed in surprised.  She walked over to the hurt child as he was bending over holding the bottom of his face.  She eased him up and saw the blood right away.

“Oh my I’m so sorry Sam.”  Sam shook his head and waved a hand at her as though trying to wave her away.

“S’kay Hannah, happens to the best of us, I’m just gonna go cleanup” Sam said as he walked to the door.

Kali stood in the doorway smirking “way to go angel dear.  Looks like you broke the baby’s nose.”

Hannah stomped over to Kali but stopped at Sam’s side “it was an accident” she said reaching up to Sam's face.  She placed two fingers on his forehead and he felt his nose stop throbbing then the feeling of blood dripping down his face stop.

“Thanks.  Uh, why are you here?” he asked looking between Hannah and Kali.  It was odd that Dean wasn't there.

Hannah smiled at Sam both seeing and feeling that he was missing his big brother.

“Dean left with Castiel and Gabriel last night.”

Sam startled at the news “what, why?”

“To open heaven’s gates and get Castiel’s grace back” she said a little confused “it’s what was being discussed last night if you re-call.”

“I know, but what about you guys?” Sam said when he really wanted to say “what about me.”  “I mean it sounded like this needed a lot of back up?”

Hannah smiled knowing what Sam was really worried about.

“Your brother has this covered and he does have help with Castiel and Gabriel.  I can promise you Dean will be back tonight before you go to sleep.”  

Hannah then wondered how to broach the next subject but remembered that sometimes being direct is best for kids “but for now how about we get you cleaned up and ready for breakfast?”

Sam had turned away and was about to push by Kali when he froze at Hannah's words.  He turned back to Hannah and swallowed.  “Excuse me?” Sam looked perplexed, hoping he didn't hear correctly or maybe he did but he'd just misunderstood.

“I’m pretty sure you’re not comfortable walking around in a wet diaper” Hannah said with a warm smile.

Sam did a double take, realizing he did hear correctly.  He swallows again and gazes at both females from under his long hair, which was covering his face.  He felt his face burn with shame, knowing they knew what he'd done and that he was standing there with a …a…oh god!  He couldn't even think the words. He took a deep breath before answering.

“Which is why I am going to the bathroom to shower and change” he said quietly, turning away again.  He noticed Kali smiling at his sudden shyness and little boy look but he mustered the courage to try to walk around her.  

She reached up with her hand to hold Sam’s face, which made him stop and startle.

“You are truly an adorable little one, especially when you are trying to play grown-up.”

Sam pulled out of Kali's grasp and glares at her.  It was one thing Dean playing this game but everyone treating him like he was really a baby was too much.

“Right and this mature adult, would like to take a shower and get dressed in some decent clothing” he fumed at both women.  He stalked past Kali but didn't get far.  His feet had stuck.  He glared at Kali, who smiles sweetly at him and raised both hands “it’s not me” she told him.

He whirled around as he felt an arm around his waist.

“I am sorry Sam, but I cannot allow you to get hurt when I promised Dean that I would make sure you'd be safe and well taken care of.  Giving yourself a diaper rash because you are shy is not acceptable.”  She easily lifted Sam as though he weighed nothing.

Sam yelped “wait, Hannah.  No.  Stop!”  Sam flailed futilely.  How could a 5’8 woman lift his heavy, tall ass without a problem?

“Well it looks like the soft hearted angel does have a firm hand after all” Kali mused.

Hannah settled Sam on his changing table.  He tried to get up but realized that he was being held down by an invisible force.  He looks at Hannah with hurt look in his eyes.

“I am sorry Sam I am trying to make this as easy as possible for you by being quick.”

He once again felt that fluttering tightness in his chest.  He had to stop this, he couldn't lose control of the situation.

His voice hitched as he spoke to Hannah “Okay, ok, I get it but how about you just use angel grace to do that?”

“This is for your benefit, to help you get more and more comfortable in your role” Hannah explained.

Sam looked at Hannah wanting to protest this treatment of him as a toddler.  It didn't help when Hannah reached over and pulled the gown up gently and proceeded to remove the tabs from the diaper.  Sam felt himself tense and his breath hitch a bit as his mind receded a little.  All he could think and feel was that he wanted Dean.

Hannah finished pulling off the diaper and Sam gasped at the coolness of the air.  Knowing he was exposed to her eyes broke the dam for him.  He didn’t feel like the great big hunter that he knew he was.  He felt small, alone, vulnerable and, scared.

The words tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop them “I want Dean” he cried not caring he sounded childish.

That brought Kali over.  “You’re doing it wrong.”

“How am I doing it wrong?” Hannah looked confused.

“You are being too methodical about it’ Kali explained “I am pretty sure Dean coos and coddles him while he changes him, helping to soothe any anxiety or fear.”  She leaned over and ran her fingers through Sam’s soft hair “Isn’t that right baby” she cooed softly to Sam.

Sam whimpered “Aw poor thing.  You really miss your big brother don’t you?” Kali asked before continuing with more cooing and baby talk to Sammy while petting his head.

“Now would be a good time for you to finish while I distract him “Kali jabbed Hannah.

“Oh right” she grabbed the wipes and continued to clean Sam.  Sam cringed as he felt the coldness of the wipes touch his groin area.  More tears spilled from the utter helplessness and humiliation he felt.  He ran the mantra “Dean, I want Dean” through his mind but refused to say them out loud again, not wanting to prove everyone right.  That he was a big baby.

“Oh sweetie, I know it so tough waking without Dean here, but I bet he would be so happy to hear what a good brave boy you were with Auntie Kali and Auntie Hannah.”

As Hannah finished up closing the diaper, she looks at Kali “auntie?” she asked.

“Would you prefer being called Nana?”

“Why are you titling us with family names?”

Kali sighed “Babies needs association.  It also helps Sammy to know who we are to him and keep him in 'little' head space” Kali finished explaining.

“Oh” Hannah nodded but still looked a little perplexed although she said no more about it.  She helped Sam sit up.  Upon seeing the tear tracks and red eyes she grabbed one of the wash cloths and wiped it over his face.

‘Can I please go now” Sam asked quietly.

“Of course” Hannah replied, “but first let get you into some day clothes.  I’m pretty sure you don’t want to walk around in your sleep clothes.”

Sam nodded and went to get off the changing table.  He let Hannah's hand help him down and walked towards the door but then halted wondering where his regular clothes were.

He looked to see if Hannah was behind him but saw her standing by the closet of the nursery room.  He walked over to her and she smiled up at him.  “I thought I let you pick your outfit for the day.”

Sam stood feeling a little dumb-struck looking at all the bright and light colors.  He took a deep breath and reached in to move all the hangers to the side looking for something he deemed suitable.

He shoved all types of onesies aside, then jumpers, overalls, shorts with crisscross suspenders.  He was starting to get frustrated when he saw a pair of jeans.  He pulls them out only to see they had an elastic waist band.  He blew out an air of frustration and whirled around.

“Where are my clothes?!”

Hannah seemed taken aback by Sam’s anger “I do not understand your question.  You are holding your clothes Sam.”

“NO!  Not these clothes.  MY CLOTHES!  My real clothes.  Where did Dean hide them?” Sam yelled.  He flung the adult sized toddler jeans down and started grabbing the rest of the outfits from the closet and throwing them around.

“These are a mockery” he yelled as he continued throwing clothes around.

“Samuel Winchester you will stop this behavior” Hannah said stepping into his space and grabbing one of his arms.

Sam froze for a second then he glared right back at Hannah and yanked his arm out of Hannah’s grasp “No!!  This was my room and you guys fucked it all to hell.”

He felt a firm swat to his butt “Little boys neither use potty words nor do they throw tantrums” Kali admonished holding an arm.

He tried to pull out of Kali's grip but found that he couldn't.

“Let go of me right now” Sam threatened his tone low and dangerous.  He might have caved into Dean spanking him but Dean is his big brother and he’d be damned if he was going to allow these two beings to treat him like he was some toddler.

All of the sudden Hannah touched his forehead again.  Sam blinked.  He felt … he felt light … eyes wide and watery he whispered “What did you do to me?”

“I made it easier for your younger self to come out to the fore front.  I can see and sense the struggle within you how hard it is with others when it’s not Dean.  This will make it easier for you without you having to build walls.”

“No, No, No not fair!” Sammy stomped his foot.  He quickly slammed his hand over his mouth and looked at Hannah in shock.  He sounded petulant and like a spoiled little brat, but he'd only ever done that with Dean and only when he tired or getting sick.  Sam had never ever allowed anyone to see this side of him except Dean and Dad possibly, Bobby and Jim too.

“You, you put me back now Auntie Hannah!” Sam again stopped dead in his tracks, eyes wide, feeling scared at what was happening.

“See what’d I tell you” Kali smiled “Association.”

Hannah took a deep breath and changed her tone.  “No Sam, this is what you will do.  First, you will help me pick up all your clothes off the floor.  Then you'll get dressed and then we’ll have breakfast.  Do I make myself clear little boy?”

Sam puffed up his chest and glared at her.  He was about to retort, but she quickly raised her finger to interrupt him “Or you can sit on the naughty stool and we can call Dean and have him speak with you. These are your two choices.”

Sam's anger dissolved instantly when he heard 'naughty stool' and 'Dean'.  His lower lip trembled a bit.   He tried to regain his composure and he actually felt bad for throwing a fit.

“Pick up the clothes” Sam whispered as he lent down to start gathering the clothes he'd thrown onto the floor.  He handed them to Hannah, she hung them back up on the hangers and put them away in the closet.  Little by little they finished in 15 minutes.

“There now, that didn’t take too long working together and we have selected an outfit”, she said holding up the jeans he'd originally thrown down and a long sleeve light blue onesie with a white floppy eared puppy in the front.

“Sam could you please sit down” Hannah asked.  Sam lowered himself to the carpet, crossed his legs and waited.  

He felt hands behind him and turned to see Kali grab the lower part of the gown hem.  “Arms up Sam” Kali instructed, Sam hesitated for a moment before remember the naughty stool and lifted his arms.  He wanted to rage and fight against them but he felt small and shy and didn't want to let Dean down with bad manners.  His younger self felt completely exposed, in the fore front, instead of behind a safe shield although he'd felt safe to sink into it and let Dean take care of him in the past.

He sat in just his diaper waiting for Hannah to slip on the onesie when he heard Kali tut “Oh gods.  Has Dean been feeding him?” Kali asked as she looked at Sam’s body.  Sam crouched over and tried to cover his skinny body up with his arms.  He felt embarrassed and ashamed.

Hannah sigh “Of course, but Dean just came back three days ago and Sam was asleep for 1 and a half days of those.  It’s one of the reasons Castiel and I looked for Dean and talked to him regarding Sam’s decline in health.  Sam stopped eating four months ago only surviving on power bars and vitamin supplements.  Dean's been slowly getting Sam to eat again, he does not want to overwhelm Sam’s tummy otherwise he could get sick.”

Sam whimpered not wanting to keep sitting there in just a diaper and socks enabling Kali and Hannah to observe how skinny he'd allowed himself to get.  He hadn't meant to neglect himself.  He'd just gotten distracted looking for Dean and trying to find a cure, and, and ... he let out another small sad sound.

“Aw, no, no little one” Kali quickly hugged Sam “not your fault little ones should never be left alone to take care of themselves, you don’t know how” Kali soothed.  Sam didn't return the hug, he just sat wringing his hands together.

Hannah snapped out of her thoughts of Sam and quickly reached over with the onesie.  Kali stepped back giving her room to pull the onesie over Sam’s head.  Sam cooperated and lifted his arms one at a time as she pulled his arms through.  She gently guided him down to the floor to lie down as she pulled the onesie back flap under his bottom and over to the front to snap the buttons together.  She grabbed the jeans next and pulls them up over Sam’s legs, as she got close to his waist Sam lifted his bottom up so she could completely pull them up.  Sam lay back down and she smiled and thanked him.  She then pulled off the blue socks to put on white ones.  Next she grabbed the blue baby soft shoes and put them. Finally, she stood up and helped Sam up from the floor.

“There now” she said as Sam stood in front of her “That wasn’t so bad and now just one more thing” she guided Sam to a chair in his room and sat him down.  He saw her reach to the dresser top where a white comb and white brush sat.  Sam startled awake from his stupor, when he felt the soft brush through his hair.

“I do it’ Sam quickly cried out and reached for the brush, knowing he sounded childish.  He didn't care he let no one but Dean touch his hair, not even Dad.

“Now Sam, we’ll go much faster…”Hannah didn’t finish when Sammy hit her with his most pleading puppy look.

“P’ease Auntie Hannah, Dean lets me” Sam cringed, God damn what was wrong with his speech?!  Whatever… if it gets her to stop touching his hair he’ll beg if he has to.  He held his hand out and tried hard not to give into his impulse to snatch it from her hands.  He made his eyes wide and pleading.

Hannah sighed and relented reasoning that it was good to instill and encourage positive independence in children.  Sam silently gives a small victory whoop and quickly brushed his hair.  Meanwhile Kali had walked out informing them she would be starting breakfast.

After Sam finished brushing his hair, Hannah took his hand and they walk out of the bedroom down the hall to the kitchen.  Sam kept his head down feeling embarrassed because he was accepting this treatment.  He decided to go along with it because, as he walked next to Hannah, he was forming a plan realizing that he had more chance of succeeding if he played along.

Hannah may have brought out his younger self completely to the front but he was still himself and he had over 20 years of experience as hunter to boot.  He would need to call on all that John and Dean taught to outsmart and get away from and angel and a goddess.

Sam startled from his thoughts as Hannah spoke to him.

“Okay little one, up on the seat” Hannah instructed.  Sam scrunched up his face in disgust when he saw the stupid high chair again but he swallowed it down and hopped onto the seat.  She reached over and clicked the tray in place.  

Kali came from the stove and put a plate in front of Sam.  On it were silver dollar sized pancakes with bananas and strawberries cut on top and some syrup dribbled over them, and some hash browns.  She then she placed the blue sippy cup next to his plate.  

Sam noticed that there were utensils next to his plate, granted a plastic fork and spoon, but it looked like they were going to allow him to feed himself.  He looked up at them and smiled.  “Thank you” he said genuinely meaning it for the food and the utensils.  He grabbed the fork quickly and dug into the pancakes popping some into his mouth.

“This is really good; thank you Auntie Kali” Sam said enthusiastically almost dropping his fork as he realized the title slip and tone sounding so young.  He managed to keep the fork from falling and put it down carefully to pick up the sippy cup.  As he took a small drink of the cranberry mixed with grape juice he thought of how much he missed drinking coffee.  

He looked up and realized that Kali and Hannah were still there “Um are you guys going to have something?”

“I do not required sustenance to function” Hannah replied.

“Nor do I” Kali added.

“Oh well.  I uh guess I’m done” Sam answered as he wiped his hands.  He felt very self-conscious and uncomfortable being the only one eating.

Hannah looked puzzled “You’ve only taken two bites and one drink of your juice.  I do not believe that is enough fuel for your body”

“Well, I’m, uh, seriously full” Sam mumbled.

Kali sighed “Okay.  Considering that angels protect humans, you guys are seriously dense about how they think and feel.”

Kali snapped her fingers making a continental breakfast appear on the counter next to Kali and Hannah.

Hannah tilts her head in puzzlement, “I do not understand.”

“Of course you wouldn’t.  Humans feel very uncomfortable eating in front of people who are not eating.  It’s actually considered bad manners” Kali explained.  She picks up the mug of coffee and proceeded to drink it.  Hannah watched her and then picked up the second cup following her example.

Sam cleared his throat and both beings looked at him “Uh, as nice as are you are trying to help me feel comfortable, it's also really rude having coffee in front of someone who apparently can’t” Sam grumbled. “Even though, in some cultures children do drink coffee with hot milk especially in Latin cultures” Sam added lamely.

Kali studied Sam for a moment before walking over to him.  She held her hand over Sam‘s cup, swiping it in a circle swipe and smiling at him “try it now.”  

Sam looked at her confused but picked up the cup slowly and sipped.  It was warm but not hot, delicious like chocolate coffee with cinnamon.  “Oh god thank you” Sam sighed happily as Kali sat back down.

Hannah looked at Kali, about to protest, but Kali put her fingers over her lips as she motioned with her head.  “It’s decaffeinated coffee, he won’t be able to tell the difference in his state of caffeine withdrawal, especially since it has a small Latin hot chocolate and hint of cinnamon added” she said quietly to Hannah.

“But won’t Dean object?”

“Not if we don’t tell him and besides see” Kali nodded towards Sam who was now digging into his food with much gusto and drinking from his cup “If it helps little Sammy be a bit happier and complacent, I don’t see the problem.”

“Wouldn’t we also be encouraging Sam to figure out, like all babies do, that if they cry enough they will get their own way?”

They heard a loud belch and both looked at Sam who giggles and said “S’cuse me” with a dimpled smile.

“Or we can have a happy toddler all day until Dean gets back” Kali smiled and walked over to Sam “Who’s ready for some fun games” she cooed.

“ME!” Sam quipped loudly cringing inside.  He could do this, he just needed to let his younger self free a bit.  He'd been feeling light all morning since Hannah had zapped him.  He just had to go with the happy giddy impulses he usually ignored or tampered down.  He'd done that since he was 13 and knew he wasn’t supposed to still want to play and cuddle with Dean.  He got better control over those impulses as he got older and John became more of drill sergeant with him.  Only on the rare occasions when he was hurt or really sick was it was okay to let his wall down and whimper or cling to Dean and John.

Even though Sam remembered John being hard on him he also remembered the times John had allowed himself to be gentle with him right up until he was 18.  When Sam allowed himself to call him “daddy” John would melt.  Of course, when he got better all three men would pretend it hadn't happened.  Dean or John would break his clingy, needy babying attitude with a gruff hug and say time to get dressed or pack or make a joke to make him react negatively with teenage attitude towards them.

Now, at 31, he was still acting and feeling like was one or two, wanting to play a game.  No, he corrected himself, pretending that he wanted to play a game.  He needed to get Hannah and Kali to trust him enough to leave him alone with enough time to get certain supplies out of the basement of the bunker.  He looked up at the clock in the library where he'd followed Kali into.

It was 9 am.  He knew Dean would have left instruction for them to follow otherwise he never would have left.  If he recalls correctly Dean hadn't set up a schedule yet.  He reached back into his childhood memories to remember Dean’s old rules.  He realized with a groan that he had had two nap times until when he was nine when dad insisted only one would enough.

That meant an 11 am naptime.  He only had two hours to win Hannah and Kali over to his sweeter side which he could do easily.  He'd secretly learnt that when interviewing witness, if he let his trusting innocent look come out, people would relax and trust him.

“Hey sweetheart, what are you thinking?” Kali said bringing him out of his thoughts.  He quickly looked at her worried that she may have over heard his thoughts before remembering the sigil on his left hand keeping the palm face against his thigh.

“Wanna go see Dean” he replied with a small smile indicating the half-truth to the statement he'd made.

“Oh sweetie, remember he went with Cas to Heaven, but he’ll be back tonight.”

“Yeah” he said as he looked around the library, noticing that everything but a stack of paper and files on Dean's desk had been put away.  He bit his lower lip wondering what they were up to.  He needed to distract Kali, but how?

“Oh, look.  Dean left blocks and all sorts of toys on your play mat for you” Kali said calling him over.  Sam huffed and walked over to the colorful quilted play mat again.  He could do this, he knew he could.  He just couldn't afford to lose himself playing.  He looks down at all the fun things he actually felt tempted to try.  No, no, no ... he needed to keep that side of himself in check.  Sam took a deep breath and glanced around, noticing the coloring books lying on small circular stool.  Perfect he thought.

Now he knew what to say.  “Colors, Aunt-Kali.  Can we p’ease color?” Sam’s face reddened, something was definitely up with his speech.  He was either lisping or dropping letters, but not all the time as he recalled the earlier conversation at breakfast. He had to watch-out for when it happens and why?

“Of course little one, let’s see.  Oh!  We have horses, kitties and puppies.  What would you like to color?”

Sam smiled; he had an idea “Puppies!” he called out.  “I wants to color puppies, but hmm where’s” … “oh crap, what's the name of the stuff dog I had” he thought as his mind scrambled down memory lane “where’s Flops?” he said scrunching his eyebrows looking worried.

“Flops?” Kali asked.

Sam inhaled mentally preparing “M’ puppy, Dean gots it for me, he helps me color.”

“How sweet, where was the last time you had him Sam?”

“Oh I 'member, my bed.  He sleeps in my bed, can I go get him?” Sam smiled keeping his fingers mentally crossed.

“How about you sit here and I’ll go get him for you, can you be a good boy for Auntie Kali?”

“Yes, I be a good boy for Aunt Kali.”  Sam rocked on his feet like an excited child, wanting to please.  He wondered where that part had come from before quickly letting it go.  If it gave him a few precious minutes alone, he’d do whatever his younger self wanted.  He plops his butt down on the quilt and smiled up at Kali.  She patted his head and left to get the stuffed dog.

He waits a minute after she disappeared down the hall before deciding it was time to see where Dean had gone to.  He went to get up but hesitated and he sat back down.  “Why did I just do that?” he thought.  If he didn't move now, Kali would come back and he'd have lost his chance … but he did promise to be good and wait here … and…

Wait it hit him was he seriously was debating with himself?  He saw his hands nervously twitching and felt himself biting his lower lip, like he did when trying to decide what to do.  That made his mind up for him.  He steeled himself and breathed deeply “Front and Center Sam!” he mentally heard his dad's voice.  It helped him to focus.

He got up quickly and walked over to the desk knowing that he had only a few minutes; he focused and used his analytical abilities.  “What looks more important?” he thought.  He saw a map sticking out of a book and quickly pulled it out to scan it.  “Hmm, Crook County, in Wyoming?  That’s 11 hours away.  That leaves me less than 10 hours to get way before Dean gets back.”

“Okay sweetie, here’s mister Flops” Kali announced coming into the room.  Sam was sitting and smiled reaching up for the stuffed dog.

Later that morning at 10:45 Sam was interrupted by Hannah.  He'd lost track of time playing with the blocks and with Flops.  Sam looked around blinking.  He wondered when he'd lost track of what he was doing.  He remembered coloring for a while, getting bored and then Kali suggested playing ball with the red rubber ball she'd procured.  Somehow they went from one game with the ball to another …. and then he was immersed in the fun of all the games they played until Kali needed to leave to get something from her home and Hannah suggested that he play with his blocks until his nap.

“Okay Sam, time to put all our toys away and get ready for your nap.”

Sam was about to protest but he reigned himself in, no this was what he wanted, what he’d been waiting for.

“Okay Auntie Hannah” he grabbed his blocks and quickly dumped them into their box then grabbed the coloring books and put them on the shelf with the crayons.

“Thank you Sam, that was very nice of you, now how about a bed time story with a bottle?”

Sam hesitated.  Going along with everything so far had been a struggle but it was part of his plan.  Now though, with what Hannah had suggested, he was having an internal struggle.  His naptimes and bedtimes with a bottle had always been with just Dean.  They were very private moments for him and if he were honest with himself quite soothing and relaxing.  He tried to tell himself just to play along, this had nothing to do with Dean and his time together, but his sub-conscious and conscious part of him were for the first time in agreement.  He didn't want anyone else but Dean for bed times, feedings, and rocking.

“Sam, are you all right?” Hannah noticed Sam’s unease about being put to bed, wondering if she had another struggle coming up.  

“Dean, always, um… he… uh” Sam struggled how to phrase it without sounding childish.  Sam berated himself, he'd talked with a lisp, dropped letters here and there and now he was worry about sounding childish?  He took a deep breath and spat it out.

“Bedtimes are with Dean and, and, private” he whispered.

“Oh” Hannah understood what Sam meant and she thought for a minute “How about you just lay down and I read to you?”

Sam thought about it and, yeah, he could do that.  He nodded to Hannah.

“Well then, come along” she said holding out her hand out.  Sam took it and they walked to the nursery together.  They stopped at his crib and she lowered the rail down for Sam to climb in.  She paused and looked at Sam, knowing that the next question would most likely have him scrambling back again.  However, it couldn't be helped, she wasn't sure if Sam would have offered to tell her, even though he had been behaving rather well.  She pretty sure he still not comfortable with … “oh well, here goes” she thought …

“Sam did you need a change before going to sleep?”

Sam was about to hop onto the crib when Hannah’s question caught him off guard.

“Wha… wait, what?!”

“It’s been 4 hours since your last change and 3 hours ago you had coffee with milk.  I thought maybe you might have….” before she could finish that sentence Sam jumped in.

“No, I haven’t” he gritted through his teeth.

She could sense how uneasy Sam was with the subject and decided not to further upset him by continuing the discussion.  Besides, she was pretty sure his body would relieve itself while he napped.

“Okay then.  Let’s get you settled” she smiles at him.  Sam hesitates a moment, but then climbs into the crib and laid his head down on the pillows.  Hannah moved to Sam's feet and removed his baby shoes before pulling the light blue comforter over him.

She grabbed one of the chairs and set it next to Sam’s crib.  She opened the book in her hand and began to read.  Sam realized that it was the same book Dean had read to him the other day.  A Beatrix Potter book from the world of Peter Rabbit.  Sam flopped back onto the pillow, if they insisted on reading to him, he was going to talk to Dean about updating the books to something with more suspense and excitement like Robert Ludlum's The Sigma Protocol.  He could already see Dean frowning at him at that suggestion.

He looks over to the corner of his pillows and saw something sticking out, he reached over to pull it and saw it was the blue pacifier from last night.  He looked at it for a minute, and then looks over to Hannah who was still reading.  He reasoned that it wouldn’t hurt … it might help since he was feeling restless and anxious wanting Hannah to leave.

He plopped it into his mouth, feeling weird since he did it himself, but a part of him felt content.  He gave it a couple of sucks.  It was soothing and relaxing so he closed his eyes and started to drift.

Hannah stops reading after 15 minutes and saw that Sam has fallen asleep; she gently reached over to him and brushed his hair out of his face.  She smiles down at him as she passed her hand through his hair.  She could see why Sam always raised a sense of protectiveness from others for him.  If only he knew how truly precious he really was.  It broke her heart knowing how much Sam Winchester had had to endure all these years.  Dean had shouldered the responsibility of protecting something so young and pure when he was young himself.  Well, his vessel was young, but Dean’s soul was old which is why Dean at age 5 knew what to do with a crying baby more so John did.  Hannah began to hum one of heaven's melodies as she continues to caress Sam’s hair and head.  She saw Sam’s aura light grow bright and connect to her grace.  She was in awe as she felt it, it was like a hug in God’s own blanket of love, such a gentle and pure deep love.  The light surrounding her hand and wrist was beautiful beyond heaven's own beauty.  No wonder Lucifer wanted it, but he also wanted to destroy it in his jealousy that their father had created and blessed a brand new young soul with such love and purity.

Hannah's eyes blazed bright blue for a few seconds then she took deep breath to calm down.  She'd never felt this fiercely protective towards anyone but the thought of Lucifer or Hell trying to eradicate this innocent young soul had filled her with such anger.  She took another breath giving Sam one last pat before raising the crib rail.  She decided right there and then that she would do whatever it took to keep Sam Winchester protected.  She finally understood why Dean would gladly lay down his own life for his little brother and why Castiel had been so easily influenced to take the Winchester side during the Apocalypse.  She turned off the lights and walks of the room to see if Kali had come back.

45 minutes later, the nursery was quiet before the stillness was broken by a buzzing sound coming from the crib.  Sam started to toss and turn, the buzzing continuing, before finally Sam’s eyes snapped open.  He lifted his head and looked around then reaches beneath the blanket to pull out the stuffed dog he'd brought with him.  He lifted the one of its legs where a tear in the side no bigger than an inch was.  Sam puts his fingers there and pulled making the tear bigger.  He dug around, grimacing and apologizing mentally to the dog as he tore more so he could grab what he was searching for.  He pulled out a circular object, a small digital clock half the size of his hand and he quickly clicked the 'off' button.

He heaved a sigh of relief.  He'd had a feeling that he might doze off since he couldn't trust his body as it had been betraying him at odd times.  So before he had left Dean’s desk he'd procured the small alarm clock from the top drawer.  Dean would set it up on the desk in case he fell asleep while doing research.  Sam took the clock since he knew that he couldn't pretend to be asleep but could sleep lightly using it as back up to make sure he woke in time before Hannah or Kali came back.

He waited a full five minutes before moving watching the baby monitor the whole time as he carefully got up and crawled over to the rail.  He noticed right away that the locks weren't in place which should make it easier.  He slowly but quietly pushes the button on the crib and lowers the rail down.  He exhaled carefully getting down from the crib with a small jump and waited again.

So far so good.  No one had come in.  He lifts his hand to see the sigil still there, albeit a bit fainter, but working as the lines weren't broken.  It had taken a lot of hard work to make sure the others didn't discover it.  He reached into liner of his toddler jeans and pulled out the sharpie he also got from the desk.  Thank god Hannah had not picked him up or checked to see if he'd needed changing, she would have discovered the sharpie.  He quickly went over the sigil making it more prominent to ensure that his thoughts stayed completely hidden.  He needed to keep his presence calm so the angel and goddess wouldn't freak because they couldn't sense him.  Should he run into either he needed away not get held by their invisible force.  He knew how to keep an angel's grace in check but he didn't want to use Holy Fire on Hannah unless he really had to.  Kali would be easier since he'd studied the design Dean had drawn several days ago.  When he'd first glanced at his work he was able to memorize the sigil he'd drawn.  Thank god for his photographic memory.

He needed to get to the basement so he silently opened the door to his room and peered around the hallway before tiptoeing to the next hallway.  He looked around and made another turn then ran to the third hallway.  He'd made it to the doorway that led to the basement.

He walked down the stairs, when he reached the bottom he strode through the doorway with a purpose.  He walked over to the correct shelf and saw one of the archive's black boxes.  He took it down and placed it on the table before opening it to pull out a plain silver bracelet.  He also pulled out a brown piece of parchment.  He read over it taking his time, moving his lips as he read.  Once he had it memorized he put the bracelet on his wrist and utters the Latin words out loud.

Time to see if it worked the way he thought it would.

He then walks over to the corner of the room and grabbed the dusty duffel bag and put it on the table.  It was one of the older bags they’d kept in the trunk of the impala and had brought in before Dean took on the Mark.  It had held a cursed object they'd found.  Now he was going to use it to carry the materials he needed.  He went to different shelves gabbing powders and tinctures and a couple of mixing bowls.  He looked at more stuff as he walked around.  He picked up some dried leaves to smell them and then shrugged.  They were still good.  When he was done in the room, he walks to another door smiling when he opened it, the bracelet had work.

The room was full of every kind of supernatural weapons.  He saw his weapons hung along a wall and placed on the shelves next to it.  He immediately walked to the gun box Dean bought him three years after Stanford before he was dragged to Hell.  He'd gotten it so that Sam could lock the Taurus in it, which Dean had also given him.  He unlocked the box and pulled out the gun checking the chamber was full of silver bullets.  He was about to place it in his waist band when he remembered what he was wearing.  He pulled a bitch face at no one in particular.  “Great” he thought as he put the gun back into the box, locking it then putting it into the bag.  He quickly grabbed other weapons from the wall; saw- off pump shot gun, 12 gauge, his curved silver blade, the demon blade, angel blade, two flasks filled with holy water and, of course, one of the salt containers.  Once he was done packing weapons, he opened up a trunk on the floor and pulled out a brown jacket.  It was dusty and a bit stained from a hunt long ago, but he'd be damned if he was going to walk around in public with a puppy on front and showing the elastic waist of his jeans.

Also he remembered this jacket, especially the last time he worn it and hope that it was still there, as he never used it.

Sam reached into a front pocket and smiled when he pulled out a credit card.  He remembered when he got this from Bobby.  He was still seeing Lucifer and Booby had told him it was for emergencies.  Dean didn't know about it, nor the name on it, but would after playing detective for a while.  Hopefully, by that time he’d gotten what he needed and had contacted the being he needed to.  He pulled on the jacket, it hung to his thighs.  He cleaned up making sure to remove all hints that he’d been here.  He couldn't leave any clues about what he was up to nor where he was going.

He walked back to the first room toward one of the shelves near the door and reached up to the top shelf feeling for something.  He pulled down two slim leather bound books and flipped the pages open, smiling that everything was still there.  He stood a moment at the foot of the stair well knowing what was about to happen and mentally prepared, rolling his shoulders and cracking his neck.

Here goes.

He walked up the steps quickly.  If everything worked he should have no problems getting by Hannah and Kali.  He opened the door, planning to sneak but decided against it.  A direct approach with no hiding would be better and was strategically tactful.  He just hoped the bracelet worked against angel grace/power.   He walks confidently down one hallway making his way to the garage knowing he'd have to pass by the kitchen area to get there.

Hannah was in the kitchen and was looking at the list Dean had left for them.  It was 12:30 and Sam would wake soon needing lunch.  She read that Sam liked PB&J sandwiches with the crust cut off plus some veggies and juice.  Hannah looked up quickly as she sensed movement out of the corner of her right eye but there was no one there.  Just as she turned around she saw the back of Sam going into the other hallway towards the garage.

“Sam” she called out following.  Seeing him nowhere in sight, she walks down the hall way a bit feeling confused.  There was no sound and the hallway was deserted.  Had she imagined Sam walking by?

She turned around to head back to the kitchen and saw Sam standing at the very end of the hallway leaning on the wall, wearing a jacket with a duffel bag by his feet.

“Sam what are you…’

Sam interrupted her.

“I’m sorry for what I’m about to do, but I need to save Dean” He pulls out something from his coat pocket and Hannah sees they are matches, she reacts quickly and tries to knock it out of Sam’s hand from where she is standing with her powers, when Sam does not even flinch, she looks up with confusion

“Yeah about that”, he pulls back the sleeves of his coat and on his wrist there is a glowing silver bracelet. “like Dean said once upon a time, it’s amazing what you find here at the bunker and what could be helpful, this repels any type of magic” Sam finishes, then lights up the match book and drops it to the floor.

Hannah tries to react fast, but too late she sees the fire catch on the oil that is on the floor and flare up around her in a perfect circle. Well she was told this kid was fast and extremely smart. Well she still has one trick herself to try and for the first time in human terms keeps her fingers cross that it will work. Sam was about to walk off and Hannah called out

“SAMUEL WICHESTER, you will stop this deplorable behavior and let me out”

Sam freezes midway, tense shoulders and shook his head, looked over and whispered out a weak “no”

“Now Samuel!” Hannah tried again voice firmed, Sam was having an internal struggle, the bracelet could not protect him against this; this was natural this was not a spell. This was all him without his defenses up, this was 18 years of Dean and including John conditioning him to know he is the youngest of the family therefore the baby of the family. Not that they over did it they knew when to use that tone of voice with him, when he’s being a stubborn brat and misbehaving. Like now, so that was the internal struggle he was having, so now it was mind over matter, this was not misbehaving he assured himself, he is an adult and doing what is best for Dean, Making an executive decision as Dean would say. He finally straightens his shoulders and looks at Hannah.

“Sorry Hannah,  No” and stalks off towards the library one more thing he needs, he walks to the desk and looks in the bottom drawer and pulls out his laptop, grabs the messenger bag hanging on the coat rack next to the desk. He turns around and startles back; Kali is standing there a good 10 steps away.

“Going somewhere Sammy?” arms crossed head tilted, Sam takes a deep breath

“It’s Sam’ he replies ‘and yes” he grabs tight to the messenger bag.

“I don t think so sweetie, I think you are confuses and still tired, so let’s put everything back and get you back to your room” Kali suggested very calmly.

“Not gonna happened” Sam eyes narrow he lifts again the bracelet and whispers in Latin “Ne noceas mihi et tueri” (Which basically means protect and do no harm unto me). The bracelet glows again.

Kali narrows her eyes curious and looks at Sam and tries to get a read on him and realizes she can’t sense him or read his thoughts, nor freeze him in place. Sam repeats himself to Kali about the bracelet repels any and all magic and he also lifts his left hand and shows the sigil.

“and if you were planning to read my thoughts, this little beauty, will keep you out” Sam’s smirking

“All right little one we do this the physical way” she walk over to Sam who reached into his pocket and blew a blue powder and recited at the same time “ABI AD OCULIS MEIS”

Kali disappeared right in front of his eyes and then he heard a loud screech of anger. He sigh and walked back to the same hallway he left Hannah in and there on the opposite end of the hallway was Kali in the same circle Dean had drawn the first time and Sam had been able to duplicate.

She sees him “What the hell was that?” she looked perplexed at Sam

“Something I pick up from Cuthbert Sinclair, actually very useful” Sam muses and starts now walking to the garage.

“Sam when Dean gets back he is going to be very vexed” Kali informed him, Sam stops and walks back over to her, face set in grim look.

“He can be vexed all he wants, but I will be dammed if I you think I am going to leave him like that.” He storms off in anger.

He looks around to the garage and walks over to his Camaro and looks pensive at it; he goes to the hood of the car and opens it up and looks in. Sam looks at the whole engine, he knows he does not know much about cars and the whole mechanics of it, geeze 23 years reading everything from history, English lit., the law and lore and mystical spells and you would think he pick up a book on cars and how to fix an engine or what’s normal in a car. No he took it for granted that was Dean’s thing. Well he might not be a genius in cars but he knew enough that blinking red light should not be there next to the engine. Great Dean must have either put a tracking device on his car or rigged it so it won’t turn on or quit on him one mile down the road.

He looks at all the other cars in the garage, they all spell “look at me classic and rarely seen car”, so he’ll definitely be on the radar, he just need something fast to get him to the next town, hijack another car an ordinary car that can  blend in. Okay he walks over to the black 50’s sedan okay Dean might get pissed but he’ll fit in this car, walks over to the key wall case and sees all the keys are gone.

Really DEAN! Sam stomps his foot, like that ever stops us, he walks back to the car and realizes the door is lock, Sam huffed out loud looks around the garage okay never mind, he was hoping he wouldn’t have to do it this way. He lift his arm made sure the jacket sleeves was wound tight around his elbow and slammed against the window it crack a little but Sam drop down as soon as he made contact and held back a cry but his eyes glazed over quickly “THAT HURT!:’ ran though his head, holding his elbow rocking back and forth on the ground next to the car, he sniffle a bit…oh crap dam it he forgotten he’s still “bare and vulnerable” thanks to Hannah.

Okay, okay, suck it up Sam he scolds himself no Dean or Daddy to kiss your boo, boos, he gets up once again closes his eyes takes a deep breath; focus. He opens his eyes set determined look and does a side kick to the window realize his mistake too late, he’s not wearing any shoes! His sock clad foot goes thru the window; he pulls back and again drops to the ground holding on to his foot

Deep breath, deep breaths come on Sammy you can do this, he tries to calm the inner child who wants to wail and cry out for Dean. Somehow he manages to looks at his sock and sees red seeping thru the white sock he feels the scared child alarms go off. “It’s okay” he console himself, “it’s okay, you got this, come on you’ve seen worse.” After he calm his inner child enough, he peels the sock off his foot and forces himself to look, good no glass stuck in the cuts, there are small gashes he limps over the workstation in the garage and looks inside.

“Bingo” good thing Dean believes in keeping a med kit down here too for accidents he pulls out some gauze and antiseptic, he cleans his wound and wraps up his foot. He looks once more around the workstation area and then sees them black combat motorcycle booth, he grabs them and shoves his feet in them, sockless tight squeeze, but still fits he knows he’ll get blisters if he doesn’t get better shoes soon. But this will do for now, he grabs a big towel from the wash room and walk over to the car unlock it finally and cleans off the broken glass off the seats. He sits in looks under the steering wheel grabs the cables and hotwires the car. He quickly grabs the duffle bag and messenger bag from the floor where he dropped them when he first got hurt. He waits for the car to heat up he does not want it to stall out on the road.

 As he sits behind the wheel he pulls out a map from the bag. He looks it over; Dean is in Wyoming he’ll be back by tonight so he wants to be as far away from the bunker and cloaked, while he researches the one idea he keeps coming back to. He’ll need help but does not know who to trust, who knows if anyone they have left in their circle of friends if Dean talked to them about Sam condition.

He likes to believe that Dean would not humiliate Sam like that. Hmm if he goes south or east Dean will expect him to go the opposite of Wyoming to try to get far which is true he wants to be hundreds a mile by the time Dean gets back, but what if he goes in their direction north but north west Dean will not expect that. But where; He needs somewhere he can holed up and do what he needs to do, as he glances over the map his eyes land on one spot of course he thinks never in a million years will Dean guess this. He puts the car in gears and heads out. He can’t help but smile, but he can’t celebrate just yet this is just a small step to the bigger picture. As he drives away from the bunker he can’t help but feel a little bit guilty for the Angel and goddess when Dean gets back.

Oh well sometime we need to make sucky decisions… he looks at the watch he grab its 1:30pm he has a 16hr drive to where he is headed needs to get halfway there before he stops and rest.

 


	10. Round and Round he goes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How far can Sammy get before Dean catches up. As Sammy tried to get as far as possible he realizes his body and emotions aren't on broad with him leaving Dean. Can his stubborn streak get him free or will he succumb to what he knows deep in-heart wants but in denial and what's Crowley doing here?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god July and August flew by and I really got busy at work, but with the help of my number one My Beta who kept emailing to remind don't forget to give up and two awesome new readers and writer themselves fill me with hope and determination Miss.Pixieleigh and Miss.Deadmockingbird thank you girls for your valuable input and yes love too I can feel through your words.
> 
> I promise to sit with my Beta this weekend and Skype and brainstorm chapter 11 together as partners in crimes do (wink)
> 
> FYI.. September is my B-day month so I do have a lot of parties to attend with co-workers, friends and then family and then immediate family. I 'll be celebrating all 4 weekends my B-day,so I might be late posting chapter 11- but I will do my best,I mean you only turn 40 once. i hope you guys like it. 
> 
> Also thank you all for the wonderful KUDOS AND Beautiful comments, you give me life and inspiration!

** Chapter 10: Round and Round he goes where he stops… **

 

As Sam drives further and further away from the bunker, he looks down at himself and realizes that maybe an earlier stop to get a change of clothes is in order.  However, he doesn't want to stop in the nearby town because, well, almost everyone knows Dean.  A shopping center is around 20 more miles out and since Dean hates them, he decides to go there.  He arrives, gets out of the car and walks inside.  Inside, he walks to the closest outlet store, other than strange looks upon entering he is ignored.

Sam grabs two pairs of jeans, three plaid shirts, a packet of colored t-shirts and a pack of socks.  He looks around a bit he and also finds a packet of briefs.  He walks over to the register where the cashier rings his purchases up.  He pulls out his credit card and pays for them.  The cashier smiles at him as she hands hands him his purchase and he walks out.

He takes another deep breath while sitting behind the wheel.  “Okay, that was easy” he thinks “then why am I feeling bad?”  “Never mind” he decides as he shakes off the feeling.  He then starts the car and drives off.

Seven hours later, he is nodding off as he drives.  He looks at the time, it's 8:30.  “Why am I so tired?” he wonders yawning.  “I can't stop yet, maybe I just need some coffee” he thinks as his stomach grumbles.  It has actually been grumbling for the last three hours, he'd skipped lunch.  He sees a road sign up ahead for a truck stop diner - “Madge’s place”.  Just as he wonders whether he should order something to go his stomach grumbles again.  “Okaaay, yeah, I need to get something and use the bathroom to change into something more presentable” he decides.

He pulls up to a very loud busy diner with a truck stop and gas station attached.  He parks the car and looks down at himself.  “Okay, I can do this.  I don't need to feel nervous.  It isn't like anyone can see through my jacket to see the puppy onesie nor the diaper” he muses grimacing at the thought.  He opens the door, steps out and zips up the jacket, just in case.  There's a lot of people milling about both outside and inside.  He walks through the glass doors, up to the counter and sits on a stool.  He picks up the menu as a redhead walks up to him.

“What it’ll be honey?”  All of a sudden Sam feels self-conscious and over whelmed.  There's too many people, too many noises and he feels that he can't concentrate.

“Uh, I’m not sure?” he whispers.  The waitress, who at that point, seems like she's on autopilot looks at her customer and sees the dewy eyed look of the young man in front of her.  She feels bad for him.

“How about I start you off with a nice cup of coffee and you take your time ordering?  I’ll be back in 10 minutes while you decide what you want” she says to him.  “Okay, yeah” he agrees grateful.

She pours him a cup before reaching into the bakery counter, and for some strange reason, pulling out one of their large chocolate chip cookies for him.  She puts it on a small plate, smiles and walks away.

“Okay get a grip” Sam tells himself.  “Why do I feel like a small scared child?” he wonders.  “Oh crap, is it to do with what Hannah did to me?  That means I'm going to have to keep checking myself mentally otherwise I’ll screw up.  I can’t afford that.  I can’t travel like this, I'm going to need help” he realizes.

He looks up to see where the waitress is and waves her down.  He smiles at her and begins his charm.

“Sorry about earlier, I've been driving for hours.  Kind of was in the zone there, but I’m ready now.  I'd like to take a chicken salad to go, dressing on the side, and can I please get this coffee to go too?”

She blinks, he looks totally different to the scared young man she met a few minutes ago.

“Sure thing hon.  Anything else?”

“Yeah, uh, can you tell me where the bathroom is?”

“Towards the back through the lounge we have one” she says pointing to a red door.

“Okay.  Let me pay for this and I’ll be right back” he says handing her a twenty using some of the cash he'd gotten at the outlet store and grabs his duffel.  She watches him walk away, not sure why she feels hesitant to let him go by himself.

She shakes her head maybe because she’s raised four boys by herself?  Maybe she's feeling a bit maternally nostalgic?  She shrugs, goes off to the back kitchen and places his order.

Sam pushes the red leather looking door that leads to the diner’s lounge area.  The room is dimmer and it takes his eyes time to adjust after the bright lights in the diner.  There's a full bar, some small tables and booths for anyone just wanting to have a drink and relax or play a game of pool or darts.  A Juke box is playing classic rock in the corner.  He notes that it's not as crowded as the diner before seeing the bathroom sign and walks to the back.

He enters the men’s room and sees that all four stalls are empty.   Seeing the door has a lock he decides to act quickly before someone walks in.  He locks the bathroom door and quickly puts his bag down opening it.  Then he stands and takes off the jacket.  He sees his reflection in the mirror and is startled by it.  He leans on the sink before reaching to touch his reflection.  His worry lines and hard ruggedness, acquired over the years have gone.  It’s still him except without the harsher lines and his eyes look so innocent without him really trying to make them that way.

“Oh crap, is this what Hannah meant when she took away my defenses?” he wonders.  The toddler outfit he's wearing doesn't make things any better.  Actually, it brings out more of the innocence and youth.  He really does look like a giant baby.  Sam feels an anxiety attack starting from inside his deeper conscious.  He quickly looks around and sees how dark and ominous the bathroom looks causing his breath to hitch.  He wonders how he got here and where Dean is.

Somewhere deep inside he knows he's supposed to be doing something but he can’t think.  He’s cold, hungry, tired and…and he wants Dean!!  He backs away from the mirror and leans against the wall trying to mentally get a grip.

There's a loud knock on the door and it startles him from his thinking.  “Hey who lock the damn door!” a voice calls.

Sam looks around again confused what was he's doing.  He looks over to the door when it's banged again.  “Hey is there anyone in there?!”

He looks at his supplies and remembers what he’s supposed to be doing and clears his throat “Uh, one minute!” he finally calls out, voice wavering a bit.

“Dang, this ain’t no private bathroom!” the person outside yells.  “Great” Sam huffs as he grabs his jacket and pulls it on.  He re-zips back up reaching for the bag before going to the door.   He mentally refocuses and prepares himself before unlocking it.

“Boy what in hell were you…” the stranger stares up to the giant coming out the bathroom.  Sam stands up at his full 6’4, neck held high and shoulders back.  He glances down at the man who stands at only 6 feet giving Sam 5 full inches over him.

“Personal Business’ Sam growls low causing the guy to step back hands raised.  Sam continues to walk past him to the diner.  The bright light assaults him, giving him another slight panic attack, but he pushes it down and walks back to the counter.  He looks for the red head waitress.  She spots him first and walks up to him with a plastic bag.

“Here you go darling and your change.”

“Keep it” he replies, grabbing the bag before heading out the door.  He walks over to the black sedan and drops the white plastic bag in the front seat, through the broken window.  He takes a good look around the parking lot and starts making his way to the gas station part around the back.  Just as he guessed, there is an outside bathroom for people coming only for gas.  Upon entering he sighs seeing it's a single bathroom and locks it.  It's a bit dark and grimy but it will do for what he needs.  He opens the bag, pulls out the bronze bowl and the ingredients he needs.  He doesn't bother to draw a devil’s trap, he just needs to summon ... him.

He adds another ingredients, something he picked up from watching Dean do the summoning spell for Gabriel.  He slices his right hand and drops a few drops of his blood into the bowl, knowing it will strengthen the summoning ritual.  His inner child winces at the slight pain in his hand.

He recites the Latin incantation and then drops the match into the bowl.  Sparks flare and smoke rises.  Sam steps back but nothing happens … at first.  Then the one stall in the small bathroom opens up and Crowley steps out.

“Really, this had better be important summoning me in the most degrading place” he fumes as he turns and faces Sam.  He stops and freezes mid brush of his lapels on his black suit jacket.

“Well this is quite the surprise” Crowley muses.  “Must be really bad if you are calling me Moose.  You are calling me for assistance I presume.”

“No I really wanted to see your ugly mug” Sam bitches.

Crowley shrugs at Sam's comment “To what do I owe the pleasure?  As if I don’t know already.  Your big brother goes MIA for a week now and you're calling me.  Coincidence?  I don’t think so” Crowley finishes.

“This is all your fault!” Sam angrily says.  He can’t help but stomp his foot, ending with his mouth in a pout.  Crowley raises his eyes at Sam display of immaturity.  Something is up and he’s curious to find out what.

“Temper moose, but before we continue might we move this discussion a little less odorific?”

“'kay” Sam replies before turning around to unlock the door and walk out.  Crowley pauses at Sam's agreement without arguing more or threatening him first, before he follows.  It puts Crowley on alert, wondering if this is a trick, since Sam did not draw a devils’ trap to keep him there.

Sam stops, hesitant, and looks around “Um don’t know where to go now” he says quietly.  Crowley studies Sam for a minute and notices something is up with the younger Winchester.  He points to the bar attached to the diner, “Well how about we grab a drink and discuss?” Sam nods but does not lead the way.  Crowley pauses for a minute, not feeling comfortable having a Winchester at his back, but something tells him nothing is going to happen, so he leads the way, followed by Sam.  He watches Sam and notices how his shoulders are slouched, as though he's trying to make himself smaller.

They walk up to the bar and sit on stools.  Crowley sees how Sam slouches on his stool and looks down at his hands.  Crowley sighs and motions the bartender over ordering two scotch, three fingers pour.  When the bartender brings them over he hands one to Sam and it seems to do the trick … almost.

As Sam swallows the burning liquid down it wakes him up.  He has two reactions: he savors it and he chokes on it.  Sam looks around and notices Crowley sitting next to him.

“When did you get here?” he exclaims.

Crowley looks a bit puzzled at Sam’s outburst “About 5 minutes ago, chap.  When you summoned me in the bathroom of the gas station.  Are you feeling all right Moose?”

Sam takes a deep breath, grabs his drink again and takes swig.  This time enjoying the burn more.  It seems to fully wake him up pulling his full conscious to the front.  Although it does burn his tummy … no his stomach.  “It’s called a stomach not a tummy” he mentally chastises himself.  Since it burns his stomach it helps to ground him more.  He might pay for it later though, alcohol on an empty stomach isn't a good idea.

“No” he honestly replies to Crowley's query “Thank you for this” he gulps the last swallow of scotch.

“Sure anytime, now care to enlighten me as to what is going on?”

Sam nods his head trying to gather his thoughts, now that he's front and center.

“Yeah okay there not a lot of time but I need to know, can you get me close to the Cage?”

“Beg your pardon?” Crowley looks at Sam as if he’s lost his mind.

“Look, I just need to know if you can get me as close as possible to the Cage, where Lucifer is.”

“I know what you mean moose, but why would you want to visit that side of Hell?”

“You know why” Sam gives Crowley a knowing look.

“Okay granted I know, but what makes you think he’ll want to help?”

“He won’t have a choice” Sam looks determinedly at Crowley.  Crowley looks a little taken aback by Sam's declaration.

“Well, well, well.  Could little Sammy have actually grown a pair and actually have a plan that might succeed?”

“Will you help me?”

“What’s in it for me?”

“Well for one Dean won’t be a Knight of Hell anymore so he'll no longer be a threat to your crown.  Me, I won’t hunt and kill you” Sam finishes.

“Tempting, but what’s your guaranteed 'this won’t go sideways' plan and how do you plan on keeping big brother out of the picture?”

Sam swallows at the last part and mumbles his reply.

“Come again?” Crowley asks.

Sam sighs “I said I need your help with that one.”  Crowley looks at him waiting for more explanation.

“Look, I can tell you everything once I get to a safer place.  Right now, I don’t’ know how much longer I can keep myself focused.  When I get tired and hungry I tend to ... I mean I get really … uh …” he looks away not feeling comfortable enough to share but needing some kind of help.  Even though he doesn't trust Crowley, he’s better than anyone else who might alert Dean.

He allows himself to let a bit of Sammy in and looks up at Crowley.  He looks directly at Crowley with as much sincerity as he can.

“Crowley, look I need to get to Flagstaff, Arizona and in my condition I don’t think I can drive the last nine  hours it will take without getting pulled over or crashing the freaking car.”  He unleashes his most puppy eyed look on the King of Hell.

“What the devil is wrong with you Moose?” Crowley asks completely baffled by Sam’s demeanor and something else feels off …

Sam drops his head “There’s kind of a spell on me?”

“Kind of?” Crowley echoes.

“Angel grace really or more like they removed something” Sam looks up again and Crowley sees for the first time with his demon eyes at Sam and finally sees it.  Sam's soul’s aura.  It had always hidden behind Dean’s own soul’s aura.

No matter how tired or weary or broken Dean was, anytime his little brother was around him, his aura had the strength to increase in size and block out the younger Winchester's true soul image.  He had always thought it was funny that Moose's vessel was big but he could never see his true soul around Dean because Deans’ true soul would cover almost all of it because of its vastness.  Now he saw why … Sam's was … it was … actually very bright, pure, young and small … “huh, the irony” he thinks.

Crowley quickly covered his eyes using his demon powers as a kind of a filter.  Then he remembers the times when Dean was not with Sam, his aura was dulled down.  He’d always assumed it was because of what the boy went through with Lucifer in the cage.

“Why now? Crowley asks out loud.

“Come again?” it's Sam’s turn to be puzzled.

“Why is your soul so bright, pure and noticeable, when it was dim before?”

Sam nods at this acknowledgment “So that what Hannah meant when she said she pulled something up-front and took down my mental shields.”

“Ah, so that’s why you are acting all loopy” Crowley comments.

“Look it’s actually more than that, but I guess the fast way to get you up on intel is to let you see what’s happened these past few days” Sam looks down at his hand knowing what he has to do but afraid to remove the Sigil because he knows the moment he does, Dean will have full access to him.  They'll need to move fast as soon as he does.

HE looks directly at Crowley “I need you to break the circle on this Sigil” Sam says showing him his left palm.  Crowley is taken aback “The moment you do; you need to look as fast as you can through my mind to catch up to now.   Then we  need to jump out of here, ASAP!”

“You’re allowing me to view your memories, well it must be pretty bad if you of all people are allowing me in.”

“Crowley!  I don’t have much time, I’m so tired and I feel like I want to just drift and … god this is getting hard” Sam sniffs.

“Bugger, all right, Crowley reaches over and touches Sam’s hands nothing happens, the sigil is still in place.  “What the Devil?”

“Oh sorry, I forgot” Sam reaches over to his right wrist and pulls down his sleeve.  He removes a silver bracelet with interesting cravings on it.

Crowley is watching him, Sam sighs “It repels magic or any other supernatural power, now please” he holds out his hand again.  This time when Crowley touches his palm part of the circle lines disappears as he stares into Sam’s eyes.  Everything flashes before the King of Hell's mind.  When he pulls back he looks at Sam.

“Well, uh, huh … was not expecting that ...” he looks over at Sam again puzzled.

“Yeah I know” Sam says with raised eyebrows.

Crowley is still looking at Sam, he had to ask “Are you wearing…”

“Yes! Sam interrupts him.

“Sorry mate.  Was curious, is all.  Not often you run into situations like this” Crowley states holding his empty tumbler glass.  He waves the bartender over and asks for another shot.

“Crowley we need to go!  ’m pretty sure Dean is back at the bunker and livid.”  He looks at his watch, it's nine pm.  “Oh yeah.  Dean is definitely back in the bunker and we still have nine more hours to go to get to Flagstaff.”

“You're right.  The last thing I need is for squirrel to be jumping down my throat if he finds out I’m with you” Crowley says standing and putting down a 20.  Sam gets up to follow, but feels a strong hand grip his bicep before being spun around.

Sam’s eyes widen in shock!

“Sammy, oh my god are you all right!?”  Dean looks completely worried, concerned and mad all at the same time.

“Dean!” Sam yelps in surprise.  Crowley turns at hearing Sam’s exclamation.

Dean’s eyes narrow at the bar when he sees the two empty tumblers “You let him drink!?”

“Squirrel in my defense I did not know anything until now.  He summon me” Crowley points out.

“Samuel Winchester did you do a demon summoning spell?”

“No” Sam whispers.

“Samuel.’

“I didn’t!  I did a blood demon summoning spell!”  Sam slams his hand over his mouth.  Where had that come from?!  “Damn it” he realized, “Hannah’s grace strikes again!” He tries to move away but Dean's got a good grip on his arm.  He grabs Sam’s hand and looks at it.  He sees the slice on his right palm and the dry blood trying to scar over the cut.

“Damn it Sam!  You cut yourself with a knife on purpose” Dean growls.

“I … I .. I'm sorry Dean, I needed to…” Sam’s voice wavers.

“Boys, you might want to take this outside.  You two are drawing unnecessary attention to yourself” Crowley points at the bar they are standing in.

People had stopped doing what they were doing to watch the scene unfold.  “Aww crap” Sam thinks as he tries to pullout of Dean grasp but Dean holds on tight.

“Time to go Sammy.”

“No Dean, stop’ Sam tries to pull out of his grip again looking over Dean’s shoulder to Crowley for help.

“Sorry but it looks like it’s time for me to bail” Crowley says before disappearing.  Sam’s jaw drops “no, no, no I was so close” he thinks as tears well up in his eyes out of frustration.  “Argh!  Stupid spell!  Stupid tired brain!  Making me get all emotional and loose control over my body's reactions!”

It's not like he’s never been on his own before, he needs to try to get away, he still has the bracelet.  He reaches in his left pocket and closes his hand around it.  Dean can’t use his demon powers, but he can use his strength.

“No Dean, let go” Sam tries one more time to pull out of Dean’s grasp.

Out of the blue, Sam hears “Sugar, I do believe the young man asked you to let him go.”  It was the redhead form the diner!

“Well you see darling this here's my little brother.  Right now he’s just really tired and not feeling too well.”  Dean smiles at the waitress, but there's a hardness in his voice that Sam notices.

“Sweetheart, you all right?” the waitress asks Sam directly, ignoring Dean.

“Oh, oh” Sam realizes.  “If I cause a scene with Dean like this, innocent lives could get hurt.”  He doesn't mean to drop his head, but he's so tired he can't get his head to work right.  He's really struggling now.

“I’m sorry.  I’m okay” he answers the waitress quietly.

“Darling you ain’t got nothing to be sorry or scared for.  This here is my place and if you don’t feel like going home with him you don't have to” she smiles warmly.  That was when Sam saw her name tag for the first time.   “Madge” as in “Madge’s place.”  This whole diner/bar truck stop is her place.  She's the owner and the last thing she needs is Dean demolishing the place!

“No Sam.  That is not want I am going to do.” Dean rolls his eyes, what does it take to get Sammy to understand? He’s not the typical cause carnage and destruction demon.

Sam looks at his brother startled before he remembers that the sigil is broken and Dean can hear his thoughts again.

“Yeah, I know Sammy” Dean arches an eyebrow and proceeds to lift Sam's left hand looking at the broken sigil.  Sam cringes, not because he's scared, but because he knows he's in trouble for breaking one of the rules Dean had set out.

“Not just one rule, but several Sammy.  Now it’s time to go home.”  Dean looks around and sees he is still standing in the bar.  He looks at Sammy, since he cannot just read but feel the guilt coming of the kid.

“I’m sorry Dean” Sam whispers again with glazed eyes, holding up a glowing silver bracelet “But I have to do this.  We won’t be able to morph out here that easily.”

Dean recognizes the bracelet and looks at Sam “Sammy baby give me the bracelet.”

“No” Sam says as he stepped back.  Although he knew it was the right move, he's having an internal struggle with himself.  He's tired and his head hurts, his tummy hurts and why can't he just go go home with Dean?  His hand wavers a bit holding the bracelet as he lets out a small whimper “Dean.”

“It's okay Sammy.  You’re just tired, hungry and confused.  I know you just want your bed and your binky.  Mister Flops is waiting for you at home” Dean says gently to Sam as he reaches for the bracelet.  Sam tries to take two steps back but whimpers after hearing what Dean had just described, it sounds comforting.  God if he could just think for another minute.

Then he feels a hand grab onto the hand holding the bracelet, looking to his right he sees Madge right there.

“Look.  I don’t know what the hell is going on, but I can read people well.  Since this boy is holding a weird glowing bracelet against you, sir, I would think you get the message.  NO means NO.”  She looks perplexed but determined.  She doesn't understand what the freak is going on but she'd seen the boy’s eyes and they looked like someone asking for help, any kind of help.  She was not going to stand by and let this young man disappear without at least trying.  She might be in over her head, as her late husband Harold would say, but damn, that's who she is.  She jumps before she looks sometimes.

Dean sighs “Lady you don’t know the half of it”.  Dean had some respect for the 50 year old lady.  She actually reminds him of Ellen.  Spit and fire, and righteous anger to protect the weak.

Thanks to her interruption Sam regains a bit more focus “Dean, please don’t hurt these people.”

Dean looks at Sam “Sammy I’ve already said I wouldn't do that and if it makes you happy Cas, is here to make sure that does not happen.”

Sam looks startled instead of relieved and whips his head around.

“He’s outside Sammy, waiting for us.  He’ll make sure Madge and her patron are all right, with a little bit of angel grace of course.”

Right on cue Castiel opens the door and walks in “Dean, we have a problem and we need to leave these good folks, now.”

“I‘d love to Cas, but Sammy here is playing a game called 'let’s not use powers.'”

“What?” Castiel looks confused.

“Well, try to get us out of here with your new found grace and see what happens.”

Cas looks over at Dean and Sam, and sees the glowing bracelet.  “I take it that is the reason I could not communicate with you from the outside or even sense you or Sam?”

“Bingo” Dean smirks.

Cas peers at Sam, “That might not be such a good idea now Sam.  We need to go, or we are in endangering these people.”

Sam looks between Dean and Cas with questioning eyes.  Dean shrugs at Sam not knowing himself what is going on.  Madge is still standing next to him, holding on to him which is what is helping him stay grounded.

“What are you talking about Cas?” he asks.

‘Demons, more than a handful and by what I can sense Abaddon’s followers.”

“But Abaddon is dead” Sam exclaims “How can there still be followers?”

“Not many took her fall lightly and want revenge” Cas explains.

“Wait that means….” Sam looks up scared, at Dean.

“Yes” Cas answers “Dean is the one they want, so now would be an excellent time to get out of here.”

Sam clasp his hand around the bracelet and says a quiet incantation.  The bracelet stops glowing.  Unfortunately the moment it does, a gale force shatters the front of window of the bar.

On instinct, Sam grabs Madge and shielded her as he made her duck down.  A hand full of patrons in the bar had also ducked and covered.  Dean had moved to stand right in-front of Sam and the shards of glass hit him.  However, as Sam watches, the small cuts here and there on Dean’s arms and face close up quickly.  So did Cas’, who stood alongside Dean.

The air clears inside the bar to reveal eight new figures standing, all with black eyes.  Sam, who was crouched down with Madge, immediately makes to get up to stand alongside Dean.  However, as he moved Dean’s hand shot out behind to hold Sam down where he is.  He leans over to Castiel “Cas I need you take Sam and get him the hell outta here.”

“No Dean!” Sam protests.

“Sammy, no arguing this time.”  Dean has his back to Sam as he doesn't want to turn his back on the demons.  Just then four more walk through the door bringing the total to 12.

“As much as I want to agree with you Dean, I am inclined to agree with Sam.  These are not your average demons.  You will need me to stay for backup” Cas says with a hard look on his face.

“I know that Cas.  Why do you think I need Sam as far away as possible?” Dean says through gritted teeth as the mark on his arm starts to glow.  Sam glances between Cas and Dean wondering what the hell is going on.  Before he can ask, one of the demons steps away from the rest and Sam sees that his eyes are different.  They are black, but the outer-ring was ... gold?  He was tall, about Sam’s height, had a very broad chest and shoulders and his jet black hair was slicked black.

“Dean Winchester, the great demon hunter.  So the rumors are true.  You’ve been turn into one of us” the guy smirks.

“Bael, rumor has it that you're still a dick” Dean replies.

Sam looks at the demon.  Why did the name Bael ring a bell?  He realizes with a start that Bael is one of the seven princes of hell mythology that he'd read about.  A kind of demon god who appeared as a bull, man or other creatures.  “Oh no” he thinks “he is quite powerful, but just like all powerful bullies he’s more like a jackal that waits until the bigger guns are out of the picture.  Then comes in and takes the pieces.”

Dean eyes glint with anger.

Bael looks at Dean’s arm as the Mark begins to glow “So you have taken Cain’s sin upon your soul and the Mark proves you’re the next in line to lead since Abaddon is gone.”

“Aw, didn’t you hear?  I gave my resignation to Crowley a week ago” Dean smirks “you might want to take it up with him.”

“Don’t mention that low life of a demon to me” Bael spits “He thinks just because he sits on the throne, he rules us all.”

“I’m pretty sure Crowley's proven quite an adversary for whoever crosses the line with him or challenges him” Dean answers matter factually.  “Otherwise, you’d have taken the throne away from him, there has been plenty of chances.”

“An I’d have taken them but then again I didn’t  align myself with hunters or a Winchester for that matter as that traitorous coward did.”

“Well it just goes to show you, Crowley was smart.  He knew the stakes and how to play them in his favor at the time” Dean remarks.

Bael takes a step forward into Dean’s space “Well, I’m surprised you're actually defending him, considering all the pain and misery he gave you and your brother.”  Bael pauses leaning in and smiling in Dean’s face “But then again, I wouldn’t expect any less from a personal lap dog.”

Dean’s jaw tightens at that and then he smiles, a very icy chilly evil smile.

“I ain’t no one’s lap dog” Dean’s eyes flash black and before Bael can say anything else, he’s flung half across the room into the juke box.  Dean hadn’t lifted a single finger to snap or hand to show he was about to do it.  Sam gulps realizing how much stronger Dean really has become and more at ease with his powers than Sam ever was with his.  As Dean turns around the Mark glows brightly.

He looks at the other Demons in the room “Anyone else?” he calls out.

Bael stands up rage evident in his eyes and yells a command to the demons.  They all swarm towards Dean, attacking.  Sam's reaction is instant, he reaches in his jacket and pulls out the demon knife, but before he can join the fray, Castiel grabs him and tells him to take cover.  He looks angrily at the angel to tell him off.

“Sam you are in no condition to fight and you will only hinder your brother with him trying to watch your back, is that what you want?  Stay here and protect the owner” Castiel orders and runs in with angel blade in hand.  As much as Sam wants to help; Cas is right about one thing (not the other) the owner and patrons who are caught in this stupid rumble, need to be protected and got the hell out of here.

“What in BLAZES is going on!” Madge yells as one demon is flung over their heads crashes against the wall behind them.

“Um, monsters and demons are real” Sam shrugs at her.  He grabs her hand and pulls her to the back of the bar hides under the counter.

“Okay” Madge mutters.

Sam looks at her confused; she looks too calm to be this accepting about what he said.

“Harold had a funny way of protecting his family” Madge explains to Sam over the crashing sounds “He asked me to trust him in always protecting me and the boys.  No matter what I saw.  Just to trust him.  I truly love that man so I did, and never questioned the weird stuff he did.”  She looks over at Sam and smirks “You know like salted the windows.  He actually found a way to keep the window and doors salted permanently and there was iron welled in the front and back porches.  The best ones were the weird circles he drew in the boys' and our rooms hidden beneath the rugs. I take it you know what I am talking about?”

“Uh yeah” Sam answers “Welcome to our everyday lives, saving people hunting things the family business” Sam shrugs.

Madge laughs but its rueful “ Well, now I know what two of my boys are doing and why they keep away.” At a loud crash she looks over the counter and sighs “Oh god, my place.  This is probably not covered by the insurance company.”

Sam bites his lip and feels bad for her.  Maybe he can even the playing field out a bit.  At least he can help the other patrons get the hell out without worrying about being flung psychically.

He looks at the bracelet and pulls it off, he looks at Madge “Um this will kind of help a bit, we can get the rest of your patrons out of here safe and sound, and not get stopped by demons.  He reaches into his duffel bag, pulls out an angel blade and hands it to her “Do you know how to use this?  It’s the only thing that can kill those things.”

Madge hefts it into her hands and smiles “Harold might not have told me what he did, but he made damn sure his kids and wife knew how to use weapons, never questioned just went with it.”

“Why?” Sam is puzzled as to why did Madge would trust a hunter implicitly without question.

“Because the way we met.  I was 18 Harold was 28.  I knew my dad was acting funny, and somehow I knew this thing was not my father, but I could not convince momma.  Harold showed up the night this thing realizes its cover was blown.  It killed my mom and it almost got me.  Harold broke down the back door to the kitchen and killed it.  I didn’t see, I was locked in the broom closet and I guess Harold heard my crying.  He opened the door and found me.  The rest you can say its history” she smiles brightly.

“So, boy meets girl huh?” Sam queries.

“A bit more complicated, but yeah pretty much” she replies.  “So what you gonna do with that thing?” She points at the bracelet.

Sam smiles “Protection spell where no type of magic powers can be used inside the whole establishment.  I need a drop of your blood since you are the owner.  It’s the only way it will work.”

“Really and it will work?”

“Yes.”

She holds out her hand to Sam with a large smile “Well get on with it.”

Sam pulls out the demon blade and holds her hand as he makes a small cut.  He holds her hand over the bracelet and recites something in Latin, she doesn't understand.  Then he stands up, raises the bracelet over his head and calls out “Hoc Terra Sancta!” and slams it down on the bar.

After a brilliant flash of light there's silence.  Sam looks around and the first thing he sees is Castiel’s hands on two demon soldiers' faces.  Both parties realize nothing is happening, no angel grace power is killing them.

“Bad timing Sam!” Dean calls out at the last second when all bad guys and good guys get a clue that they can’t use their powers.  Castiel ducks just as the two demons are about to tear him a new one and Dean pops up behind them slashing one with the blade as Cas comes up with the angel blade through the other head.  The foray begins again and Sam grabs Madge and makes a run towards the booths to the left.  He tells Madge “You get them and I’ll get these guys to the right.”

“April!  Jake!  Come on guys let’s get the hell out of here!  Jake grab Linda and Matt, they’re right behind the next booth” Madge yells.

Sam meanwhile grabs two girls who look about 21; one with red hair and the other with raven black hair.  As they make a run to the exit one of the girls lets out a scream.  Sam turns around and sees the black haired girl grabbed by her hair and pulled back by a demon.

Sam grabs the red haired girl and pushes her forward towards the exit “Go, go, go!” he yells.

“But Emily … ” she hesitates.

“I got her” Sam shouts as he runs back towards the pair.  He pulls out the demon blade, makes a long arc swing and cuts off the girl’s hair in one sweep.  She falls forward and Sam catches her then swings her around propels her forward.

Just as the demon gets up from losing his balance and lunges, without hesitation, Sam slams the demon blade up into its guts and slides it upwards with a satisfied determined look as the light fizzles out of the demon.  He pulls out the knife as another demon takes him by surprise and slams him forward.

Sam hits the ground with a grunt but reacts quickly; he turns around fast and tries to slash the demon's throat.  The demon avoids the blade as it lunges knocking Sam over again and causing the blade to fly out of his hand.  The demon sensing its advantage kneels on Sam's chest and grips his throat, beginning to choke him.  Sam sees stars as his lungs desperately try to grab air but then the demon is suddenly gone.  Sam turns his head as he gasps in air to see the demon lying on it's back.  Dean had slashed its throat.

Dean kneels quickly over Sam to check him out.  “Son of bitch!  CAS!” he yells as he quickly looks over to the angel who is the middle of stabbing a demon.  Before Dean can get another word out his eyes roll upwards and his body slumps next to Sam.

Sam looks up in confusion and sees the dark haired girl he had just rescued standing over Dean with a frying pan in hand, chest heaving.

“What? she says, “You look like you needed help” she shrugs.  Upon seeing the look on Sam's face she hesitates “Was he one of the good guys or bad guys?” she inquires.  Sam doesn't look grateful.

“Um” Sam scrunches his face as he slowly sits up.  “It’s a bit complicated right now” he wheezes out, as the battle continues around them.  The girl leans down and reaches for Sam's hand.  He concentrates on her and ignores the blood carnage around him feeling suddenly unsure.  “Well while you're deciding I think we should get out while we can” she states.  Sam hesitates a moment to look over at Dean.  He wants to stay and triage his wound, but then Dean groans and he realizes it’s now or never.  Cas is here and can heal or at least triage Dean.  Sam stands up looks again at Dean.  He sees him stir and decides that he’ll be fine.  He follows the girl outside the bar.

The moment he steps outside he can see panic everywhere.  He looks for Madge and sees her with some of her clientele, whom it looks like she knows on a more personal level.  He walks over to her with a slight limp, having injured his knee when the demon knocked him down.

“Sam are you all right?” she quickly asks.  “Nothing a little ice won’t heal” he smiles at her on purpose to ease her worry.

Looking around at her establishment and feels bad.  “I’m so sorry Madge.  Look once Dean and Cas clear out that demon faction in there, you can remove the bracelet from the bar and Cas will be able to help clear up this place with some of his angel buddies.”

“I don’t want to even ask about that” Madge states as she holds up a hand to stop Sam from explaining further.

“Harold must have lived quite an interesting life before we got married” she deadpans.

“You have no idea” Sam replies, although he thinks it probably wasn't as interesting as Dean's and his lives.  Maybe Harold only hunted simple monsters and saved lives just like he and Dean did in the beginning.  “Simple?” Sam snorts at the thought.  He wonders if his smart ass self-back in Stanford would agree that a wendiego or a werewolf is preferable to all the crap they’d done with angels, demons and apocalypse situations.

“Look Madge, thanks for your help back there but I gotta go.  I’m really sorry for all this.”

Madge holds up a hand again, “Look I don’t know or understand what's going on, but when you get your stuff together, maybe you and that brother of yours” at which she raises an eyebrow “Can stop by and tell me your story over some pie and coffee.  I think it’s about time I hear exactly what Harold did and my two boys, who follow their daddy, do for a living.”

“Maybe” Sam replies “I can’t make any promises yet.  But I think Dean wouldn’t mind stopping for some pie if it's homemade.”  “Pffft, the best in this Tri-State!” Madge exclaims.

Sam gives her a hug and starts quickly walking towards the car he took from the bunker.  He opens the door and slides in before hesitating again.

“I don’t think Bael and his small group of followers are gonna last another minute Moose.  I think it’s time we take off” Crowley states next to him.

Sam startles and looks over to the passenger side where he sees Crowley sitting as if nothing had just happened.

“You!  What happened!” Sam yells.

“Easy Moose.  Just had to find a distraction as you requested” Crowley answers.

Sam frowns at the comment before his eyes widen in shock.

“Wait that was you!  You sent Bael after Dean!?” Sam looks like he’s ready to kill Crowley.

“Ah, ah, ah temper Moose.  You said you wanted me to distract Dean, so I did.”

“Not by sending a powerful demon that looks like he wants my brother’s head on a plate!” Sam yells again.

“Look Moose, this was the only way I knew to help you.  You called me and asked me to help, I take it cause you were running out of options.”  Crowley looks at him knowingly “And believe me Squirrel has this.  As long as the Mark is on him he can’t get hurt or die.”

Sam shoulders sag, “Maybe I've gone too far” he thinks before he realizes that he passed 'too far' about 3 months ago.  This is just another necessary step to take to free Dean from the Mark.

“Okay you’re right, but we can’t take this car, Dean will now know which car I took and will track it down easily.”

“No worries” Crowley replies, “I got one standing by” he points to his right and next to them is a black new shiny Chevy truck.  Sam sighs and feels a bit relieved, he is so tired and hungry.  He looks down at the plastic bag next to Crowley before grabbing it.  He gets out of the sedan and walks over to the truck.  He opens the passenger door and slides in, duffel bag in tow.

Crowley watches him with a look of concern on his face as he slowly follows.  He looks inside ready to say something about the siting arrangements but the big moose is already asleep, leaning on the passenger door, dinner bag in his lap.  Crowley looks around and sighs “bugger” as he rolls his eyes.

He opens the driver’s door then slides in.  He looks at the wheel a bit confused before closing his eyes and resting his hands on it.  “Ah, so that’s how you operate this monstrosity” he mutters then snaps his fingers and the trucks turns on.  Sam barely stirs as the sound of the engine turning on, he curls his legs closer to himself and pillows his head on his arm.

Crowley stares at him for a minute.  “Well wonders never cease.  All this time I thought those books, were exaggerating Sam’s capabilities to fold that body of his into half his size.”  He pulls out of the parking lot and heads north towards Sam's original destination of Flagstaff Arizona.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for still hanging out with me through this journey!


	11. Knight to Bishop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam runs into a small problems, but thinks he can fix it, sad thing... he can't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delayed thank you all for all the wonderful comments and love yuo guys sent my ways.  
> Hoepfully I am getting closer... to wrap it up a bit.  
> I want to shout out to my Beta Cacoethes_Scrinbendi who no matter what I do or say she has stuck by me and vice versa, when she needs some loving back I am right there for her....
> 
> Also to the lovely mrs.deadmocking bird without her genuine encouragement and words of wisdom I've might have drop this whole fic all together. 
> 
> And my absolute favorite who am now convince is my soul mate in the world of Fanfiction!!! Miss.Pixieleigh writer of her own fic "Home" where I grab all of my inspiration from. she and I share a love of Adult Baby Sam, which after carefully searching AO3 and LiveJournal and any other sites that has fan fiction supernatural stories especially delving into the "Infantilism/age-play" story are sorely lacking in this small fandom community :( there are plenty of Baby Dean and Baby Jensen and baby Cas...but not much love for Baby Sam and Baby Jared. I hope to be able to finish this one and write another one. 
> 
> Well I'll stop ranting and wish you all happy reading and I hope you like this chapter as much as you love the rest of this so far.

Chapter 11: Knight to Bishop Check…..

 

Dean ran outside 15 minutes later and scanned the crowd for Sam, Cas was right behind him.

“Dean you are injured and unable to heal yourself unless we leave the perimeter of the bracelet.”

“Why do you think I’m out here Cas” Dean shot back, he took 8 more steps and then he felt it come back to him, a rush of power filing him up.  Dean wasted no time sending out feelers to see if he could sense Sam, once again it was like Sam’s essence had disappeared from the radar.

“Damn it Cas, I lost Sammy's presence again!” Dean felt distressed; the last thing he remembered was that Sammy was hurt.  Not just the cut on his hand, but the injured knee and the swelling he saw on his upper forehead where he saw the demon slam him down face forward.  Before he took the demon knife and slashed its throat he noticed something was terribly wrong, Sam was frozen in fear.  He'd just knocked out Bael, who had taken a cheap shot at Dean, which had ended up hurting Dean’s shoulder.  When he got to Sam he saw how pale he looked and he was shaking, Sammy looked like he was about to be sick.

Although Sammy looked like he was about to throw up, he gripped Dean’s arms tight.  Dean saw the hurting scared look in Sam’s eyes, he had called Cas to get the kid out fast but someone had snuck up on him while he was distracted and clocked him hard with a hard object. Damn, now Sammy is out there hurting.  Dean looked over to Castiel, who had the same look of concern on his face.

“Anything Cas?” Dean asked.

“Maybe” Cas replied.

“Maybe?!  What do you mean maybe?”

“I am scanning people’s minds and I see flashes of Sam walking around, but it keeps disappearing, because the barrier that Sam placed is still up.”

“I might be able to help with that, if your intentions are good” they heard a voice with a southern drawl.  Dean looked over and saw the red head from earlier, Madge was her name if he recalled.

“Do you know where Sammy went?” Dean asked hurriedly.

“Honestly not really, but I saw him walk that way”, she pointed left, “but I can remove the bracelet from my bar and I think that will help both you pick up his trail?”

“Why are you willing to help me now?” Dean asked suspiciously.

“Well, call me crazy, but I believe what you said before about wanting to help him, and honey I saw that boy’s eyes when he was here earlier.  They were scared, lost and confused, reminded me of my youngest Tommy when he was lost at the beach.  But you better not hurt him or so help me, I’ll find way to kick your ass myself!” she threatened.

Dean chuckled, she really did remind him of Ellen, remembering Ellen caused a slight pain in his chest.  She was the only one that could get Dean to jump and feel like he couldn't lie to her.

“Alrighty lead the way” he switched the topic in his head before it became too unbearable, they’d lost so many people and he didn't need to dwell on it.

Madge hesitated a bit but remembered the trembling lips when Sam sat on the stool in her diner.  When he'd hugged her good-by, he'd felt so thin and, there were tremors running up and down his back.  But somehow he had the strength to stand straight and walk over to a black sedan, which was when she'd lost track of him.  She always trusted her gut feeling and she felt this man did not mean any harm to the boy.  In fact she recognized that kindred parental spirit connection with him and the same look of fear, worry and concern a parent has for a child.  She  made up her mind, maybe she didn't have the whole story but she had a feeling it would be all right.  They might even visit later on down the line for some pie and coffee.

With her mind made up, she walked into the bar with Dean and Cas close behind.  She walked up the counter of the bar where the silver bracelet was embedded.  “Hmm, if I remember right, Sam told me to hold my hand over it and say, um, 'something come to me'?”

Dean sighed “You need to say it in Latin, 'Veniat ad me'.”

“What?” Madge was confused.

“All, spells, incantations or rituals are normally in Latin, depending how old they are” Dean explained.

“Right” Madge said like it all made sense “Can you repeat that one more time?”

Dean did and Madge copied it.  When she spoke the bracelet rose up to her hand.

“Wow, this the everyday norm for you guys?!” she asked, her eyes wide as she held the bracelet in her hand.

“Pretty much” Dean answered a little distracted “See anything Cas?”

“No Dean, I am sorry there were a lot people busy not paying attention to their surroundings.  I only can see him walk by and turn the corner.”

“Which way?”

“To the left of the diner area” Cas replied. 

They both walked over.  Dean spotted the black Sedan - the one missing from the bunker garage.  He walked up to it and saw that the driver window was open … no not open, upon closer inspection, he saw that it was broken.  He put his hand on the door and closed his eyes to concentrate.  Abaddon and other knights of hell thought the only way to see things in the past  was by seeing through others' eyes, but Dean had discovered it could be done with inanimate objects as well.  They have a trace, an imprint or echo of the person's essence left behind if they'd touched it.  Dean sees these images in black and white.

He saw Sam try to open the door but it was locked.  He got mad and raised his arm slamming it at the window.  It barely cracked but Sam dropped to the ground rocking back forth in pain.   Then saw Sam get backup, an angry determined look on his face.  He threw a right kick to the window and, again, dropped to the floor.  He saw him in pain again, breathing in and out fast.  Well, at least now knew how Sam got a bloody foot, which he'd found out about when walking into the garage.  He’d seen the med kit out and touched it to see Sam bandaging his foot .

Dean fast-forwarded though the scenes; he knew what had happened in the bunker and wanted to find out everything up to the present time.  He saw Sam sitting in the driver’s seat looking very tired and about to collapse.  He saw him jump back against the driver side of the door, someone was in the car with him and whoever it was surprised Sammy.  Whoever it was, was able to cloak themselves from Dean’s remote viewing and muffle the conversation a bit.  He saw Sam get mad, exasperated and then slump, agreeing with whoever was in the car.  He then saw Sam get out of the car and walk somewhere but couldn't see where.  He did hear a door slam though.

Dean removed his hand and turned to see Cas staring at him, waiting for an answer.

“Sorry Cas, I got nothing just bits and pieces of a conversation, so at least I know he’s not alone, someone is helping him.  Someone who can block out my viewing capabilities and an angel’s too?” Dean questioned.  “You are right, I could not see anything either” Cas confirmed.

Dean sighed and looked around and then he saw a video camera on the corner of the building.

“Madge does that work” Dean said as he pointed to it.

Madge looked to see that he was pointing to one of her security cameras and she smiled at Dean.

“It sure does, in fact I got 10 more around the place inside and out.”

“Cas, we might just find out who is Sammy's partner in crime is” Dean smiles.

“I don’t believe Sam is involved in any delinquent activities or misdemeanors” Cas replied confused.

Dean rolled his eyes “It’s a figure of speech Cas, I didn’t mean … you know what?  Never mind. Let’s see what the cameras have captured.”

Dean and Cas followed Madge inside the diner.

 

It was three hours later and Crowley was actually concerned about the big Moose curled up in the passenger seat next to him.  It couldn't be all that comfortable sleeping like that, no wonder squirrel always pulled into motels for the night.  Watching the young Winchester boy was giving Crowley a crick in his neck.  He didn't know how Dean managed to drive whilst watching Moose.

They had another six hours to go and he figured it wouldn't be comfortable for Sam to sleep that long curled up.  Besides, he wasn't really sure what the kid planned to do once he got to the cabin in Arizona.  He decided to find a hotel for the boy so he could stretch and sleep, then he could teleport them from the room to the cabin.  He'd dispose of the vehicle during the night.

“Moose can get some sleep in a decent bed and” … he cut his train of thought off, “wait a - bloody god damn minute, what the hell do I care if Moose gets a good night's sleep in comfortable bed?!”

He didn't even know why he was still driving the car to a destination with Sam Winchester in the passenger seat.  He didn’t even strike a deal with the kid!  Maybe Dean was right, the last time they spoke they figured that maybe both of them are just getting old for this game.  Crowley sighed and whipped his smart phone out, letting go of the car's driving wheel.  It kept driving as Crowley searched for a hotel in the nearby vicinity.

Bingo, there was one in Santa Fe New Mexico an hour away.  Crowley looked at the time, it was 1 am.  He could easily warp them over there, but he was trying to stay under the radar from a certain angel and squirrel.  It was the reason he'd put hex bags inside the truck and re-did the sigil on Sam’s hand.  So he drove to the Rose Wood Inn.  It wasn’t the 5 star accommodation he was used too, but it was a hell of a lot better than the flea bag motels the Winchesters seemed to appreciate.

Besides, he wasn't stupid.  He knew Dean would have the suspicion that he was helping Sam, which was why he was trying to stay under the radar and why he obscured his image on the cameras he saw in the diner parking lot.  Without visual confirmation Crowley could still plausibly deny that he was helping Sam.  They might have gotten the visual on the truck but no license plate to follow and he went the wrong way on purpose before taking a side road back to the highway.

As Crowley pulled up to the inn, he looked over at Sam once more.  “Wow” he thought “never knew a Moose could drool so much” noticing the large wet patch on the kid’s arm.  Crowley looks left and right, then pulled out his smart phone out.  Shrugging he took a photo, which would come in handy if he ever needed some black mail material.  He put the phone away and pulled up to the main entrance.  He walked in, came back out card key in hand, then drove the truck to the back of the inn, last bungalow on the left.

He turned to face Sam.  “Hmm”, this will be a bit awkward” he thought so he did the only thing he could think of to wake the boy up.  He teleported them inside the room.  Without a car door to support his weight, Sam flailed on the bed he'd landed on and fell promptly to the floor.

With his hair messed up over his face, he scrambled onto his feet, but yelped and fell flat on his face again since his legs were numb from having had them curled up close to his body.

“Not very graceful today are we?” Crowley asked amused at Sam's display of clumsiness.  He stopped short of teasing more when Sam looked up through his bangs, eyes glazed with tears.  The vulnerableness of the hazel eyed kid froze Crowley.

Sam’s mind was a complete muddle when he found himself flailing and falling down.  The tears came naturally as pain seared through his body.  His automatic reaction was to seek out the one person who was always there to offer immediate comfort.  When he heard a voice that wasn't his big brother he froze and fear crept in, not knowing for one brief minute who, what and where.  Then, ‘slam’, it all come rushing forward.

He sniffed angrily and wiped his hand over his eyes before getting up slowly to make sure he could stand.

“Crowley, what the hell!” he huffed.

“Sorry Moose, I’m not the type to gently shake you awake, thought just transporting directly into the room would be better for both parties involved.”

Sam looked around “Where are we?”

“Santa Fe, New Mexico”

“What?!  Why?!”

“Forgive me for noticing you needed a break from being a human sized ball.”

Sam looked confuse.  “Never mind Moose” Crowley sighed.

“No, not 'never mind' Crowley.  This stop will put us way behind schedule, we are supposed to be in Flagstaff!”

“Relax, we are five hours away and I can get us there in a flash.  I just thought you might appreciate a night's rest instead of spending five hours bunched up in a truck.”

Sam felt so tired and the bed did look inviting.  He slumped and rubbed his hand over his face.

“All right, did you ward the room?”

“What do you take me for, a moron?”

“Just asking” Sam answered annoyed.  “Look I’m going to take a shower and get ready for bed, what are you going to do in the mean time?”

“I am getting the truck away from this area and dumping it out south east.  It should throw them off the trail.”

“Okay sounds good” Sam said reaching for his duffel bag.  He pulled out the stuff he bought at the store.

Right before he was about to walk to the bathroom he saw Crowley staring awkwardly at him.  Sam raises his eyebrows in question.

“Not that I care, but are you good?” Crowley waved his hand at Sam.

This confused Sam “Why?” What was Crowley hinting at?

“Will you be all right cleaning up?” Crowley blurted out feeling uncomfortable.

“WHAT!” Sam gaped “Why would you even asked that?!”

“Stopping for a rest was not the only reason we needed to pull over … you’ve kind of … while you were sleeping” Crowley waved his hands up and down hoping Sam got the hint.  He noticed the kid’s face scrunch up still not getting it.  Finally, exasperated and embarrassed for himself and Sam he just blurted it out “You're wet Moose!”

Sam’s eyes went wide “I’ll see you later” he whispered snatching his duffel bag before practically running to the bathroom and slamming the door.

Crowley watch the door slam “Well, that went well” Crowley sighed “Better get going.”

Sam leaned against the door not daring to believe what Crowley had just said but as he stood there he started to become aware of the lower half of his body.  There was wetness on his skin and a heaviness between his legs.  Saggy material around his butt.

He could feel himself start to get upset, his breathing got heavier with each breath he took.  His body had betrayed him again.  He felt even worse that it took him so long to notice.  Why didn’t he wake up in the truck when it happened?  Worse, why didn’t he wake up before it happened so they could stop and he could relieve himself the normal way?!  He couldn't believe that he'd just let go while he slept - and continued sleeping in his mess!  Tears pooled in his eyes and he sniffed loudly.

“Get a grip” he scolded himself.  “So what!  So I had another accident? I’ll just shower” but he couldn’t make his legs move.  He told himself to calm down, it wasn't a big deal.  First things first he needed to dispose of the disgusting diaper.

He looked down at himself before slowly raising his hands to take off the jacket.  He told himself not to look in the mirror, to keep going.  Next, were the pants which were easy since they were just pull-up pants like sweats.  He tugged them down carefully, wrinkling his nose in disgust when he saw the wet spots on the inner side seams.  He was shocked and grossed out at the entire front wet patch of the stupid onesie and could clearly see it went around toward the back.

The diaper material stuck out the leg holes too much.  He reached down to quickly unsnap the onesie but pulled his hand back.  It was really wet and gross.  What the hell?  He'd touched dead bodies, organs and monster’s guts before, why couldn't he touch a wet onesie?  Sam steeled himself and rolled his shoulders before reaching down.  “GAH, gross, gross, gross” he muttered shaking his hands before walking to the sink to wash them.

“That does it” he decided.  He stalked to his duffel bag and opened it up pulling out the silver hunting knife that was given to him on his 16th birthday by his dad.  That was when he was allowed on his 1st werewolf hunt, much to Dean’s opposition.  The knife was probably never meant to be used like this though.  He pulled at the materiel around his abdomen and pushed the knife through and forward.  At the loud “rrrriiippp” he thought “Oh god, yes” and continued pulling all the way across his middle around the back carefully.

The lower half of the onesie dropped to the floor and he pulled off the top part like a regular shirt.  The diaper had overflowed (which meant he'd used it more than once whilst sleeping) and it had started to sag.  He quickly slipped the knife at the side tab and easily swiped through.  He heard a loud squish and plop as it fell and stepped quickly away from the disgusting thing.

As Sam stood naked he took a deep breath feeling more like himself than the past few days.  “I’ll feel even more human when I shower” he thought as he walked to the shower and turned it on.  He stepped inside ready to enjoy the hot spray on his body.  The water hit the back of his head and cascaded down his shoulders and back.  He felt a slight sting on his butt before turning to face the water.  Suddenly he hissed and jumped back.

“That burned!” he thought.  Even worse it stung really bad, “what the hell” he thought as he stepped back gingerly into the spray.  Once again he felt the burning sensation.  He quickly stepped out of the shower and grabbed the towel hanging on the bar to dry himself carefully, especially his lower half where the burning painful sensation was radiating from.

He removed the towel and carefully looked to see his whole groin area was red, really, really red and enflamed.  “What the….?”  He bent forward more and saw that it went further back.  Sam could clearly see how it went past his sack and spread between his front thigh folds.  His butt also slightly burnt too.  He went to the mirror and tried to see his backside.  He huffed when he couldn't see; he realized he needed to use the full length mirror in the bedroom.

Sam walked over to the bathroom door and slowly opened it before sticking his head out.  He quickly scanned the room.  Great it was empty.  He walked towards the mirror and turned around.  Yup, the same redness was slightly spread on the lower part of his bum.  Sam huffed again and chewed his lower lip wondering.   “What the hell is this?  Did I catch something?  I've never seen anything like this.  If I have to guess it looks like an allergic reaction to something.”  It didn’t itch, it was a burning sensation and he felt it more even after the shower.

“Great, one more thing to add to my pile of stress and grief, can’t I just get a break?!  Well, standing around looking at my butt and groin is not going to help” he thought.  He hadn't even enjoyed the shower.  In fact he felt worse since he didn't get to cleanup, his hair was half wet making him feel like a wet dog.  He thumped his head against the mirror before pushing off.  He wasn't going to get any answers standing there.  He walked back to the bathroom and turned on the shower again deciding to just wash his hair quickly.  Then he'd go look up his symptoms on his laptop.

He stepped carefully under the water and proceed to keep his back to the water spray.  It still burned some but not as bad as the front.  After being repeatedly burned, flesh torn and muscles peeled in hell, this soreness should be a piece of cake.  Of course, the kid in him wanted to squirm and shy away from the water so he had to fight through that.

Sam grabbed the shampoo and quickly squirted some onto his hand.  He immediately started washing his hair and then rinsed.  He hissed, again, through the burn as water slid down his back with suds but also his front.  He allowed the water to go down his front, but not hit it directly, it just cascaded down his shoulder and abs.  It still stung like a sonovabitch, but he muddled through.  Next he applied the conditioner.  As much as he'd have liked to leave it in for five minutes, after thoroughly combing it in for three, he couldn't.  So, he did the next best thing, he left it in while he scrubbed his body quickly with the body soap and washcloth.

He gritted his teeth as he went over the inflamed parts then finally stick himself completely under the water, to rinse of the conditioner and soap.  He shut the water off and dried himself quickly, patting the burning area dry.  The area felt worse but at least he felt clean, so he consoled himself with that.  He took another look down there and sniffed, wishing for a second that Dean was here.  He’d know what to do, he'd get Sam to relax, to let him see and he'd fix it, like he always does, when he’s hurt or sick.

“Get a grip Sam, geeze it’s not like you've not been on your own before” he thought.  “Yeah and look how that always turns out” his mind whispered.  “Shut-up” he told himself … “oh great, now I’m losing my mind … again”.  He wrapped the towel around his waist and walked out of the bathroom.  He went over to the bed and put the shopping bag down before pulling out a white tee and grey sweats.  He pulled everything on quickly, minus boxer briefs because he didn't want to wear anything too close to the skin of his groin area, figuring that might irritate it more.  He walked over to his messenger bag and pulled out his laptop, setting it on the table.

He looked over at the diner bag, realizing that he hadn't eaten anything for hours.  Normally that wouldn’t bother him, he could go longer without food.  He would just eat a power bar and continue going, but for the last three days his tummy been getting fed by Dean.

This meant, once again he felt hungry like he always did when Dean was around making sure that he ate to a schedule.

He opened the bag and pulled out the see through container, noticing right away the lettuce had wilted a bit because of the grilled chicken.  He wrinkled his nose at that but shrugged his shoulders, oh well he'd had worse.  He pulled it open before grabbing and opening the ranch dressing cup putting it on the side.  He picked up a piece of grilled chicken and dipped it in the dressing before doing the same with a veggie.  He might not eat the lettuce but the other veggies were still good to eat.

He turned on the laptop as he chewed on pieces of chicken and veggies.  Once he got the search engine up, he typed in the symptoms, area and description of his skin.

A lot of STDs results come up right away … “Ew no”,  he muttered.  He’s not like Dean, who seems to bed a female in every town they land in.  Except when he was soulless three years ago, but couldn't be held accountable that.  Besides, after he gotten his soul back and was filled in by Castiel on what he’d done, he'd immediately gotten tested for everything under the sun and followed it up every three months to be on the safe side.  Of course, when his memories of that soulless bastard came back, he saw that he'd used protection every time.  At least “it” cared about self-preservation.  God, he hates himself every time he remembers that time and damn, how Dean hated that version of him too.  “Well”, he reasoned “it’s in the past, nothing I can do about it now.”

The uncomfortable sensation below his waist brought him back to the present.

“Okay, let’s see how to narrow it down” he thought.  “Other than describing the symptoms and the area … well, it looks irritated so maybe it's an allergic reaction.  Allergies tend to have rashes on the skin … hmmm, maybe…” he typed rash in genital area.  That brought less results but one stuck out immediately and Sam felt his face grow red.  “Diaper rash,” his pulse quickened a bit, but he quickly clicked on the link.

He briefly read and then groaned … “really?  That's what this is?!  Freaking diaper rash because I sat in a wet diaper for three hrs!!”

“Huh” someone said over his shoulder.  Startled, Sam practically jumped out of his seat, being taken by surprise.  He tuned around quickly to see Crowley still leaning over, reading from his laptop.  Sam saw red, reached over and slammed his laptop shut.

Crowley barely blinked.  He merely gazed up at Sam, who stood leaning against the table glaring at him.

“I take it a new problem has arisen” Crowley asked as ran his gaze below Sam's waist line and back up to his eyes.

“None of your business” Sam told him coldly.

“Well now Moose, since we are partnering to help one another, I believe an open communication relationship should be established from the beginning.”

Sam stayed silent and glaring.

“Very well when you are ready to talk to me, call me.”

Sam found himself alone in the room.   He slumped in his chair and sighed.  He re-opened his computer and started reading up on symptoms and treatments to his, new predicament.  “This is all Dean’s fault” he growled in his mind, “and Crowley, and the stupid angels and everyone else”.

The treatment was pretty simple: keep it dry, air it out and apply ointment.  He started researching the best ointment on the market.  He typed in diaper ointments and blinked at the results: 360,000.  “You gotta be kidding me for diaper cream!” he moaned.  “Okay this can’t be that hard, Dean does it for Christ sakes” he reassured himself.

He typed “best brands” and narrowed it down to a couple of hundred.  He started to read a couple and then exclaimed “What the hell is all this crap?!”  He took a deep breath “I went to college I know how to narrow research”.

He found the top ten brands that hospitals and doctors recommended, and decided to get the top five brands.

Next, he looked for a 24 hour pharmacy and checked if they had delivery.  The Walgreens was about a mile away.  He selected all five brands and clicked on immediate delivery before quickly making a change to the order.  He added talcum powder since he needed to keep the area dry, and completed the order.  It would take around an hour for his delivery arrived.

He entered his credit card information and hit send.  It wasn't so hard, he'd show them that he could take care of himself.  He walked over to the bed to lie down and stretch.  He turned to his side and yawned, he’d just take a short power nap until his package arrived.  He'd specified on the delivery driver's instructions to call and knock loudly on the door, that would wake him up.  He closed his eyes and sighed tiredly.

Crowley stood outside scrolling through his phone.  He keept stopping on one particular number “Dean/Squirrel.”  He tapped a calculating his finger to his lips before looking back into the room, where the “Big Baby Moose” was currently residing.  “Hmmm” Crowley made a decision and put away his phone “I’ll give Moose the time he needs to see if he can take care of what he promised, or until the big baby gets himself into trouble again.”  Then he’d call Dean.

For now, it looked like Sam had everything under control.  Crowley rolled his eyes heaven wards.  How did he always get “Winchestered” in his dealings with the two of the biggest morons this side of the universe he'd ever met?

 

Sam startled awake to a loud knocking at the door.  He was poised with his Taurus pointed at no one in particular, when he heard it again.  He looked at the digital clock on the bedside: 3 am.  He slid out of bed and silently walked to the door.  He peeked through the peephole to see a guy wearing a jacket with the “Walgreen” logo on.

Sam sighed, hiding the gun behind his back since he couldn't slide it into his pants because he was wearing sweatpants.  He opened up the door a little.  The guy looked at him “Uh Mr. Sam Newman?”

Sam shook the last cobwebs of sleep from his mind and gave the delivery guy a tired smile “Yeah sorry, give me a minute.”  He closed the door enough so he wouldn't be seen as he put the gun on the end table by the window and grabs his wallet.  He quickly opened the door wide and signed the clipboard.  The delivery guy made an imprint of the card and Sam gave him a 10 dollar tip in cash.

Sam shut the door and walked over to the table where he up ended the bag making the contents fall out.  He looked at the boxes confused.  He picked one up and scrunched his nose at it as he read the side.

Sam rolled his eyes, he couldn't believe this was happening to him.  “Of course it is, I'm Sam Winchester.  Kid who either gets choked, kidnapped, or - let’s not forget the most infamous one – possessed.  So, of course, I have a diaper rash, the universe just hates me like that” he thought wryly.

His shoulders slumped in defeat.  He might as well get this over with.  He walked over to the bathroom door before stopping and looking at the bed.  He hesitated, he just needed to spread the cream where he felt burning and he'd need to wash his hands after.  Bed or bathroom?  Mind made up, he marched into the bathroom, grabbed two wash cloths and wet them under hot water before squeezing out the excessive water.  He grabbed one of the larger towel and headed back to the bed.  He laid the large towel on the bed, stepped back and grabbed the waistline of his sweats.  He hesitated a second before pulling them down, leaving him completely bare from the waist down.

Sam crawled onto the bed to lie down on the towel.  He put the two wash cloths next to him.  He grabbed the tube next to him, uncapping it and squeezing out some onto his hand.  He rubbed his hands together before sighing loudly as he laid his head back.  He looked at the ceiling as he reached down to the affected area.

It burnt as he rubbed the cream all around.  He squeezed his eyes shut, this was the embarrassing part, before lifting his right leg so he could reach (gaw) between and up behind his butt.  He pulled his hand back quickly and grabbed the wash cloth to wipe both hands.  For the first time, he really felt for all those poor babies and toddlers who had to lie there and have this gunk smeared on them.  He felt stiff, like he couldn't move, afraid he’d spread it more.  He felt really gross, he couldn't pull his pants back on because the instructions said that he needed to let the area breath.  That should be about 10 minutes, then he'd toss the sheet over himself, it wouldn't be the first time he'd slept naked.

Sam looked over at them time: 3:20 am.  All he needed to do was wait, the stuff should start immediately working.  According to the box, it was supposed to start soothing the burning sensation immediately.  It was more tingly than soothing, maybe that meant it was working? Damn, he should have left a book or his laptop next to him so he could have something to do while he waited.

Sam started doing mathematical equations in his head like he used to do in Stanford to help him fall asleep or relax.  By the time he’d gotten to solving linear equations in one variable steps, he felt himself start to doze.  He reached blindly next to him and pulled the sheet over himself and promptly fell asleep.

Something woke him up, first he felt the sharp sting on his skin, then he felt the damp, cold wet spot.  He sat up quickly and hissed at the burning pain which seemed to have ratcheted up more.  He noticed the towel he'd fallen asleep on, it was soaked and he could smell a strong ammonia scent waft up.  He jumped off the bed and couldn't believe it, he was in denial even though he could see it with his own eyes!

“S’ok” he told himself “it's not a big deal, I just need to … need to.”  He couldn't think as the first wave of overwhelming emotions crashed into him, because the burning sensation wouldn't stop and the horrific scene wouldn’t stop playing in front of him.

He felt the moisture beginning in his eyes and then the first drop of tears rolling down his cheeks.  A sob wanted to escape but stuck in his throat.  He took a deep breath and let out a shuddering hiccup.  “No” he told himself “get a grip, it’s not that bad.”  “I can’t fix this….” a tiny voice said, but he answered with “stop, just walk to the bathroom.  One step at a time.  First, cleanup and remove this gunk which seems to be burning instead of helping.  Then, the bed…” 

He forced himself walk into the bathroom and turn the shower on.  He gingerly stepped in, this time his back to the shower head as he recalled his butt hurt less like that.  However, he quickly jumped back, it burned worse than before!  What the hell?  When he faced forward it felt like fire and ice, plus needles stabbing his skin the entire groin area.  He stumbled out of the shower and gripped the sink. 

Great, now he was half wet and felt even more sticky since he couldn't wash the white cream off completely.  He grabbed another towel and tries to wipe up the remaining cream.  He stopped the moment it made contact with his skin “IT HURTS!!” he cried as he dropped the towel.  He looked down to see that the redness looked worse than before, like broken blisters that had ruptured and mix with the white crap!  He wanted it off!  Like now!  However, both the water and towel made it hurt more.  Plus, he still smelt like pee and his only bed was wet with his piss, because his body didn't seem to have any control.  He slumped down to the cold tiles and wrapped his arms around his legs, which he pulled up close to his chest. 

His breath shuddered and finally, the tears he'd been holding back burst out.

He felt miserable, alone and cold.  Trembling, he reached for his left hand and started rubbing back and forth at the black sigil Crowley had redone.  He watched through red rimmed eyes, hiccupping, knowing that if he removed it there would be no going back. 

Right now, he didn't care.  Right now, he needed the one person who has always fixed everything for him, who has always made him feel better when he thinks it’s the end of the world, who has always been his 'one constant'.

“Dean” he hiccuped forlornly, as big fat tears landed on his hand.  He used them to make the mark smudge more.  Finally, the black smudge opened sloppily. 

Sam felt him even before he came into the bathroom.  He hadn't said a word, but Sam didn't need to look up to know who was standing there..

Sam felt warm calloused hands lift him up with ease from the floor.  He just tucked his face into the hallow of Dean’s neck and let out more tears with sobs.  He heard the water for the tub start up and tensed before whispering to Dean “No bath, it hurts.”

“I know Sammy, you need a cool bath for this part.”  He felt Dean's hand grab the hem of his shirt and pull it off as he held Sam steady on his lap.  They were sitting on a chair and he briefly wondered when and how did Dean get a chair.  Then he remembered, of course, Dean’s new powers. 

He was sitting completely naked in Dean’s lap, but honestly he didn't care.  Dean had seen him naked on more than a couple of occasions.  Being a hunters, the could get hurt enough to be unable to move without assistance, and Dean and Sam had more of those than they could count.  Not to mention Dean had taken taken care of Sam since he was 6 months old.  So, he wasn't embarrassed just stubbornly independent since Dean had taught him how to tie his own shoes and how to use utensils on his own.

But it wasn't his fault, he'd learnt by watching John and Dean!  If someone called him stubborn, it was because they'd not met 'my way or the highway Dean'.  He startled from his thoughts as he felt himself being lifted again and gently placed in the tub.  He tensed a bit from pain, but just like his brother had said, it actually felt nice and cooling on his burning skin.  He let his legs completely relax; as he did he heard his brother hiss in sympathy.

“Aw Sammy, I’m sorry” immediately Sam curled his legs to hide his embarrassing shame.

“Nu uh baby, gotta see how bad it is and I need to clean up all the ointment you put on.”

“No, Dean please, the washcloth hurts too much” Sam whispered.

“I know, I’m not going to use the washcloth.  It's not the first time I've dealt with diaper rash” Dean informed Sam.

Sam looks at Dean and saw him pour some natural hypoallergenic baby wash into the palm of his hand.  He rubbed his hands together to lather it up and reached reaches down Sam’s tummy towards the affected area making Sam jerk back.

Dean stops and told him to relax “I’ve done this a million times up until you were five.”

“Yeah Dean, when I was five!  Wait five?” Sam looked confused.

“Remember, you wore pull ups for long trips during the day from 3 to 5 years old, but still wore diapers at night time, because you would not stop wetting the bed?  On occasion you'd get a rash, not because you wore them too long, you just were very sensitive with certain brands of diapers and types of detergent soap, which I had to keep reminding Dad not to buy.”

“I took until I was 5 to learn to use the toilet properly!?” Sam found that hard to believe considering their dad would not have put up with that.

“Was not your fault Sammy, we never stayed long enough in one place for you to actually learn.  I mean you kind of got it by 3 but dad didn't want to stop every hour for you to go when you were learning.  He thought the best option was pull-ups while we were on the road for long periods.  But, that would bite us in the ass, as you got comfortable just going, hence the bed wetting at night.  The year you turned 5, during the summer we stayed with Pastor Jim for two months, by the end you'd learned.”

“Wait, why don’t I remember that?  I think I would remember wearing diapers to bed at night when I was 4 and 5” Sam argued.

“Contrary to what you believe Sammy, you were a very happy baby and child.  It wasn’t a traumatizing experience, so maybe it was natural for your mind to lump it in with all your other toddler memories, before you turned 8” Dean rationalized.

While he was talking to Sam he had already began lathering Sammy’s groin area and inner thighs, by the time he finished speaking he was finished washing the affected area, and the rest of his body.  As expected, Sam barely noticed until Dean reached over to pull the plug.  Sam, blinked in surprise.

“Told you baby, not my first rodeo” Dean smiles at him.  Sam was stunned, Dean had distracted him long enough to wash off the cream, and fully wash his body thoroughly and quickly, without causing him any pain or embarrassment.  He felt a warm towel being draped across his shoulders then he was picked up and wrapped up in it.  He leant into Dean’s chest and whether he wanted to admit it or not, it felt comforting.  Even though he was still in pain, he felt calmer now that his big brother is there.

Dean walked back into the room and he felt Sam tense up when he was about to be lowered onto the bed.  He glanced at Sam's face and saw it was burning bright red.  Sam dropped his gaze from Dean.

“What’s wrong Sammy?”

“M’sorry about the bed…it’s not..” Sam mumbled as he turned away not finishing his sentence.  Dean was confused for a second before sitting down on the bed with Sam on his lap. 

He gently turns his face towards him “S’lright Sammy, I cleaned up before I came into the bathroom” Dean smiled reassuringly.

This just made Sam feel worse because Dean had seen the bed and the mess.  It made Sam's lip tremble a bit more.

“Aw Sammy, not your fault, accidents happen ok?” Dean tries to make him feel better.  Sam just shook his head “no.”  He wanted to tell Dean that big boys didn't have accidents, - wait “big boys” where did that statement come from? - but he just sniffled and took the comfort his brother gave as he hugged and rocked him.

“Okay Sammy, I’m gonna lay you down to see how bad the rash is.”  Dean cradled Sam close to his chest as he got up and gently laid him down on the bed.  Sam quickly looked down at the sound of a rustley, crinkly sound to find that he was on a changing mat, under which was a white square padded cloth.

“It’s an absorbent mat” Dean responded to Sam’s curious gaze.  Sam cringed and before he could ask 'why', Dean again answered “you won’t be wearing any diapers while you have that rash, so it’s to prevent any more accidents.”

Sam's face couldn’t possibly get any redder, but it did.

“Thought we were going back to the bunker” Sam mumbled.

“We are, but it is almost 5 am.  We need to take care of this and you need to sleep” Dean explained as he grabbed some stuff from a bag Sam hadn’t noticed.  He pulled out a tub of green stuff.

“It’s Aloe it will cool down the rash, which by the way, is now an allergic reaction to whatever you put on yourself” Dean told Sam.

“It’s one of the brands I searched online for, it’s one of the top 5 brands doctors and hospitals use” Sam pointed to the blue and white tube on the night stand.  Dean picks it up and saw the word “Destin.”  He shook his head, Sammy couldn’t have known, it’s not like Sam took notes while he was just a babe in arms growing up.

“You are allergic to this brand” Dean told Sam “and, almost to all these brands.”  Dean walked over to table where Sam had dropped the other ointments.

“So I have a diaper rash, with an allergic breakout to the ointment?” Sam asked miserably.  Great he could banish demons with a Latin exorcism, but he couldn't seem to take care of himself.  He felt tears gathering in his eyes, he seemed to cry easily these days.

Dean walked over to Sam quickly “Oh hey, don’t cry Sammy.  You didn’t know.”  He gently stroked Sam’s hair and noticed how bad the rash really was.  He felt bad for his baby, knowing it must hurt like hell.  He had blisters covering some of the rash since Sam had left the Destin on for an hour to burn his skin more.  He had been going to let it heal the old fashion way, he didn't want Sammy to depend on fast healing for every little bump or hurt, not to mention it would be a lesson learned since he'd been naughty.

But just like when Sammy was little (still was on the inside) he could not stand to see his baby cry or look so miserable.  Dean decided on that he'd heal him just this once and sat next to Sam.  He re-grabbed the bag next to them, pulled out one of Sam’s pacifiers and held to his lips.

Sam didn’t even bother to give him a look or fuss, he just open up.  He looked through teary eyes at Dean.  His eyes shone with trust, the same trust Sammy always felt when he needed Dean to fix something.  Dean ran his fingers through Sam's hair again before holding his hand over the rash.  The mark began to glow and healed the rash in less than a minute.

Sam looked on in wonder as Dean removed his hand.  He half sat up to look at his groin.  The blisters and redness was all of gone.  Sam smiled up at Dean around his pacifier, dimples coming out in full force.

“Thank you” Sam said shyly.

“You're welcome” Dean chuckled “Okay a baby boy, let’s get you ready for bed.”  Dean pulled out the rest of the baby stuff out.  Sam lay back down completely and watched as Dean grabbed a diaper.  He gave his big brother a scowl but didn't protest as he felt it slide under him.  Before closing him up, Dean put diaper cream and baby powder on.  He then slipped a red onesie over Sammy’s head, pulled it down and snapped it shut. 

He picked some white ankle socks.  Before he put a sock on his right foot, he took a look at the bandage Sam had wrapped around the ball of his foot.  A red stain had soaked through.  Dean arched an eye at Sam causing Sam to look everywhere but Dean.

“You know, we are discussing this when we get back Sammy” Dean sternly told Sam.  Sam looked off to the right and made a small sound.  “Sammy, look at me when I am talking to you.”

Sam hesitantly looked at Dean, eyes wide and pleading.  “Oh no baby, puppy eyes are not gonna work here.  You know very well what you have done and you been warned of the consequences, should you choose to disobey” Dean was still gentle but authoritative with his voice.

Sam found himself feeling guilty, like a naughty child.  He sniffed at Dean as a tear escaped down his cheek.  Dean unwrapped the bandage to check the damage.  It wasn't that bad, just three cuts that didn’t need stitches.  He cleaned the wound and re-wraps Sam’s foot with a clean bandage.

Sam allowed Dean to treat his wound and move him this way and that as he dressed him for bed time.  He huffed a couple of times but didn’t fuss.  He didn't want to give his big brother a hard time especially Dean made the “owie” in his front and back area go away.  “Wait, did I just think 'owie'?  I must be really tired and not able to have coherent thoughts” he decided as he yawned around the pacifier.  He looked up at Dean with blinking eyes.  Dean smiled fondly at his baby brother.

“Okay Sammy, time to go to sleep.”  Dean picked the blanket up from the bottom of the bed and pull tucks Sam in.  Sam was so tired he didn't complain.  He felt safe, warm and comforted.  He allowed his eyes to close and drift off to sleep.

Dean watched Sam until his breathing evened out indicating that he'd fallen asleep.  He sat in one of the comfortable arm chairs in the room and let out the deep breath he seemed to have been holding.

When he'd felt the connection to Sam open up, a part of himself came alive again.  He'd been ready to arrive in anger and grab the kid to haul his ass over his shoulder kicking and screaming.  However, before he could teleport from where he was with Cas, he'd heard and felt the despond cries of his little brother calling to him.  It had stunned him for a minute but he'd heard Sammy's voice say “Dean please.” 

He'd let Cas know that he'd found him and his response had surprised him “I know, your aura, not the mark but your aura, started to glow again brightly and fiercely.  Go Dean, I’ll call Hannah and clean-up here.”  Dean and Cas had still been at Madge’s Diner since they had no leads and were cleaning up the mess the fight had caused, needing to re-write all the customer’s memories.

When he arrived inside the hotel he saw immediately the wet bed and the other items on the table.  He'd picked up one of the tubes and knew right away what might be wrong.  He'd seen the bathroom door ajar and could hear sobbing coming from the other side.  Dean had wanted to march into the bathroom and take the kid with him, but knew that even though Sam had called him, if he did that he would be taking two steps back with Sammy.  So, first he cleaned the bed to erase Sammy's humiliation, it was probably one of the things the kid was crying about, and he'd already guessed the other was probably a rash from the ointment tubes scattered on the table.

When he'd walked into the bathroom to see the state Sammy was in it'd broken his heart.  His baby looked so lost and forlorn.  His instinct had naturally taken over, knowing what to do.  He knew how to sooth and calm a crying Sammy.

He sighed feeling a bit better now that Sam was in his line of eyesight again.  He'd been gone a for a full day.

He heard Cas as he appeared “How is Sam doing?”

“Other than exhausted, hurt, and a little hungry? I’d say peachy” Dean said sarcastically.  Just as he felt the anger start, it dispersed quickly as Dean took a deep breath and released.

“I’m sorry Cas, it’s just that in one day, Sammy managed to cut open his hand, a foot, has possibly a bump on the back of his head I still need to check out, and he had a severe diaper rash, because he couldn't take care of it himself properly.  Some big brother I am.  I know that Sammy still needed time to adjust and I went and left him with two people he barely even knows, let alone trusts.  Of course he was going to pull a disappearing trick.”

“Dean, you shouldn’t blame yourself.  I should not have requested your help, knowing you were busy with Sam.  I am as much to blame for Sam's current injuries.  I forget how much trouble Sam can get himself into when one is not with him.”

Dean actually smiled “You don’t know the half of it.  Dad and I wondered why Sammy was such a magnate, not just for supernatural trouble but normal trouble as well.  Besides it’s not your fault either.  You were dwindling in the grace that was given to you.  If it ran out you'd have died.”

“Let’s just leave it at he is safe now, so win, win” Dean finished.

“Are you going to head back to the bunker soon?”

“Not right away, he needs to get some sleep, seeing as he didn't sleep much.  I’ll wake him in five hours, then he needs to eat.  We'll come back to the bunker after that.  You should tell the others they can go home since we found Sam and assure them he is okay.  But I think its best if he doesn’t need to worry about others being there when I get him back home” Dean told Cas.

“Of course Dean” Cas looked again at Sam before leaving.

Dean began to clean up the stuff Sam had dropped on the table.  He grabbed the trash can and threw away the tubes of ointments Sam had bought.  He was sure that Sam had gotten hurt in the fight earlier when he saw the bottles of Tylenol and Aleve (headache and muscle pain relievers).  He put those in the duffel had brought from the bunker and noticed the name of an outlet store’s plastic bag inside it.

“Huh, where did Sam get the cash to pay for all of this?” he wondered.  He knew Sam had no money on him and he hardly ever hustled pool or poker, that'd always been his job.  Between the dragon hoard they'd found four years ago and the treasure trove of money in the bunkers accounts, they hadn't had to do any hustling or credit card scams in a while.  Except for fun, well it was fun for Dean not the ones who lost.  Maybe Sam had found some cash in the bunker? 

He folded Sam clothes, the long brown jacked that Sam had dropped on the floor was the last thing to be picked up.  Since it was upside down a credit card fluttered out from the top pocket.  He picked it up and saw the name “Sam Newman” .

Now he knew how Sam had bought the stuff he had.  However, wasn't aware of this alias, where had Sam gotten it?  He didn't know how to feel about it; mad, upset or damn proud that the kid was able to scam a credit card this fast.  Dean tapped the card wondering if he should … why not?  Holding the card between his finger and thumb, he closed his eyes.  Suddenly, the memories on the card rushed forward.  Just as suddenly he dropped the card.  Bobby, he'd seen Bobby give it to Sam when he was still being hunted by the 'Hellucifer' nightmare and struggling to keep reality in check.

Since then it hadn't seen the light of day until Sam had used it at the department store and the online pharmacy.  He picked up the card again and slipped it back in the jacket pocket.  Bobby gave this to Sam and he wasn't going to take that away from him. 

He finished cleaning up and putting things away before sitting next to Sam on the bed.  He kicked off his shoes and turned the TV on with low volume.  It was 6 am and he still had another four hours to go before Sam woke up.

He made himself comfortable.........


	12. Chapter 12- Knight takes queen-Checkmate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Sam together again...Sam is surprise at how easily he can slip into Sammy and does not really care when he is just too tired to fight and actually feel comforted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all, once again I am really sorry for the late update. I am happy for all of you who stuck it out with me.  
> I cant make any promises as to when the next one will be up. Since it not just me, but My Beta who lives 9 hrs difference from where i live and this winter has been really hard on her.
> 
> So my applause to her fro coming through when, she's not been feeling well, or her jobs demands are high or just generally life happens and she needs to take a pause to see what is going on. Thank you Laura for beta-ing this through your Christmas and New year.
> 
> Oh a Shout out to Mrs. Pixieleigh (from "Home") she has been my shoulder to cry on and keeps me in spirits when I feel like crashing and just letting go....and my inspiration and hero to keep writing adult baby Sam.  
> Now let see what Sammy gotten himself into now with Dean :)

Chapter 12- Knight takes queen-Checkmate

Sam felt warm and comfortable as he awakened.  His mind felt a bit muddled as he sucked on the pacifier to get his thoughts and surroundings together.  He felt something firm and warm next to him…it felt familiar and comforting as he snuggled closer.  Suddenly, he felt a firm hand on his back as it rubbed back and forth. 

Sam scrunched his eyes, feeling himself trembling as Dean let out a chuckle.  “Looks like someone is waking up.”

Sam stilled and felt himself blush as he realized that he was cuddled up next to Dean’s legs, he slowly open his eyes and looked up to see his big brother smiling down at him.

“Good Morning” Dean smiled.

Sam swallowed and lowered his gaze shyly “G’morning”, he realized that he was still sucking on the pacifier.  He reached for it, pulling it out and felt the loss immediately.  He pushed those emotions down and rolled to sit up as Dean turned to help him. 

Inwardly, Sam cringed as he remembered the night before, actually, it was early that morning.  He looked down at himself and saw what he was wearing.  He lowered his head, knowing this could happen when he called Dean.

Looking forlornly at his brother “Can I please shower and change?” he asked softly.

“Of course baby, are you wet?”

Sam blushed again but shook his head 'no'.  It had only been five hours and he could feel that the diaper was dry.

“I just wanted to change into…” he looks over to the table and saw his duffel bag hanging on the chair, before finishing “my clothes.”  Dean smiled at his little brother seeing the hesitance in his eyes and knowing that he needed to get Sam to feel at ease with him again.  He knew that he'd get there eventually, but for now he could give this to Sam .

“Of course” he said walking to Sam's bag.  He pulled out the jeans, the blue shirt and black and white plaid shirt Sam had purchased before walking back to the bed and placing them next to Sam.

Sam watched on warily and was surprised when Dean gave him his normal clothes.  When he reached for them he stopped, looking at Dean confused.  Dean guided him to lie down, Sam once again, compliant to being maneuvered and didn't fight Dean as he unsnaps the onesie before pulling it.  Dean then undid the diaper, pausing to check whether it was dry, before rolling it and throwing it into the trash bin next to bed.  He then pulled off the socks and undid the bandage on Sammy’s right foot.

Sam felt embarrassed as Dean helped him sit up again.  He sat there, completely naked, until Dean handed him a towel.  “Okay Sammy, you shower and get dressed while I clean and pack up.”

Dean notice Sam hadn't moved, but sat biting his lip.  “Something wrong Sammy?”

“Uh, just that…I thought you’d be…you know take charge of…” Sam struggled to get the words out.

Dean let him off the hook “Oh no Sammy.  Those rules are still in place, but can wait until we get back home.”

Sam gave Dean one of his scowls and harrumphs off the bed, towel wrapped around his waist as he marches into the bathroom.  Before Sam could slam the door Dean called out a warning.  “Slam that door Sammy and you will be adding more to the list of punishments waiting for you.”

Sam paused; a surprise written on his face and slowly dropped his hand from the doorknob.

“Good boy, now hurry and get showered.  We have a long drive ahead of us and you still need to eat.”

Sam felt his face heat up, not out of embarrassment, but from guilt.  He felt bad for giving Dean attitude when he didn't deserve it … sort of.  Right now, he was allowing Sam to shower and get dressed in his own clothes.  He'd also healed the rash and was not jumping down his throat.  He was being fair about letting him know he was in trouble but that it would wait until they got home.

“M’sorry Dean.”

“I know you are buddy, now go on Sammy” Dean said, nodding his head.  Sam left the door ajar before turning the water on.

Dean knew that Sam had apologized for his attitude outburst but not the other stuff, which they would discuss the moment they got back to the bunker.

Sam cautiously looked through the crack in the door to see that Dean was busy cleaning and packing up his stuff.  He stepped back to the shower stall and looks around the bathroom quietly ex-haling, trying to think.  He only had a few minutes.  First things first, since it might be the only chance he would get.  He used the toilet to relive himself of what he’d been holding back, causing his stomach to cramp.  He did his business, although having the door slightly ajar made it a little hard.  Although not ideal, it was certainly much better than having to use a diaper for the rest of his, well waste. 

Thank god he still had that one dignity left, although at the rate things had been developing, he might lose that too.  He feels himself grow cold again at that thought, but if he could get a message to Crowley, things could be over soon before that happened.  He scanned the room one more time and wondered how to leave a message or a clue.  Seeing the toilet and the tank, he smiled.  He walked over to the shower to turn off the cold so that the room would get steamy.

15 minutes later Dean called to him, Sam answered that he needed him to bring his toothbrush and toothpaste.  Dean went to the bag and pulls out the plastic tote of toiletries Sammy had packed and pushed the door to the bathroom.  He left the tote bag on the sink, seeing Sam drying himself through curtains.  He gave one more glance to make sure that the kid was okay for now, before walking out.

Sam pulled back the curtain and walked over to the sink.  He looked in the mirror and ran a hand over his face.  As he reached for his tote bag, he realized that he didn't need to shave … in fact, now that he thought about it … it had been 4 or 5 days since Dean came back, and he hadn't grown any stubble?  He remembered not shaving in 2 months, he grown a really scraggly beard and had dirty hair.  When he'd awoken the next day, he cringed remembering he’d thrown up, he'd been in boxers brief and t-shirt.  He'd not showered and Dean had taken him to the bathroom to get a bath … wait … the dirty scraggly beard had been missing that morning.  Had Dean shaved it off him while he slept?  He took a step back and lifted his arms to see that he was bare there too.  His eyes dropped down to the towel wrapped around his waist to see that he was hairless there too.  When applying the ointment last night, it hadn't dawned on him that he was perfectly smooth. 

He'd always 'man-scaped' before but after Dean disappeared and turned up a demon; he'd neglected his usual routine (running, exercising, eating right and yes, when it was time; doing a full body shave).  He felt dirty or weird with too much body hair; it looked and felt healthier when he removed it.  Dean teased that it was part of his OCD.  As he thought back, he was a late bloomer; he got peach fuzz on his chin at 16, almost 17 before the rest caught up.  He remembered not liking it; that was when he started shaving his entire body, of course, that was also when Dean started calling him “Samantha”, and only because he'd needed help, since he nicked himself more than 2 times.  By the third time he'd given up and had called big brother into the bathroom.

But now, he should have full grown hair everywhere, well maybe not full grown since he’d been shaving since he was 16, his hair had been growing more and more sparsely.  So why was he as smooth as a baby's bottom?

He didn't notice Dean come in, leaning in the door way “You going to stand there all day, or did you need some help?” he asked eyebrows raised.

Sam startled wrapping the towel around himself again causing Dean to roll his eyes at him.

“No, I got it” Sam mumbled.

“Then what's taking so long?” Dean smiled at him.

Sam lowered his voice and barely got out “Um, just noticed … how I don't … um, need to shave.”

Dean tilted his head “Of course not.  I took care of that for you.”

Sam's head whipped up “What?!”

Dean sighed “You know, I did notice that, as the years went by, it came out less and less, so I did what most people do when they want hair permanently removed” Dean grinned.  “You could say, I was your own personal laser hair removal.”

Sam could feel the anger rise, it wasn't that he hadn't planned on doing it himself eventually, especially after moving into the bunker and he had the means to go to a clinic and do it.  This was about Dean just taking the liberty without asking first, like he usually did!

Before Sam could say anything to Dean about an invasion of his rights or decision making, Dean walked over to him and picked him up.  “Okay Sammy, since you don’t seem to be interested in dressing yourself, it means you do need help.”  Sam yelped as Dean easily lifted him to his hip before grabbing the clothes off the toilet seat.

Walking into the bedroom, he put Sam on the bed.  Sam tried to scramble away from Dean but he was held down. “Nu uh Sammy, I gave you a chance to get ready on your own and you decided to dawdle.”

“No Dean, wait, I can do it, I was just…just thinking….”  Oh god, it did sound like he was dawdling instead of just getting dressed, but no he had to be curious, investigate and wonder why and how.  Then Dean walked in and gave him a quick explanation that distracted him, again. 

As he felt Dean finish drying him completely he look soulfully up at his big brother “I’m sorry, please Dean.”  He was trying not to use puppy eyes and genuinely meant it, because he knew once they got back to the bunker that would be it. 

Hearing and seeing Sam's emotions, Dean sighed “Ok Sammy, but no fussing this time.”

“K’ Dean I promise” Sam smiled at his big brother; he sat up and grabbed his clothes to slip on.  He grabbed his jeans thinking his briefs would be under them, but what he found gave him pause.

“Uh Dean, where’s my briefs?” he asked as he looked down at the item laying on the bed under the jeans, it was blue with white trim.

Dean paused from what he was doing by the bags and looked at Sam.  He arched an eyebrow, pointing to the item.

Sam had hoped he wouldn't have to wear them.  He took a deep breath before answering - he does not want to lose this one. 

“Those are … pull-ups … not, not the brief I purchased.”

Dean walked over and picked them up, holding them to Sam “And we have a very long drive ahead, thanks to you pulling an all-nighter driving 628 miles.  That’s 9 hours baby boy.  I don’t want you to have an accident in the Impala.”

Sam was confused “So? We’ve driven longer than that to get to a case and I think I’ve handled my bladder pretty good Dean” Sam countered.

Dean shook his head at Sam “Sammy, do you really pay attention during our long trips?”  Sam looked at Dean waiting for more information. 

Dean ran his hand across his face and made direct eye contact.  “Do you recall how many hours it is from Palo Alto, California, to Black Water Ridge, Colorado?”

Sam was more confused, why was Dean dredging up the past?  That was the first case after Jess’ death.  Pushing the pain quickly away, he answered “10 to 12 hours give or take?”

“Try 20 hours” Dean replied.

“What does that has to do with anything?”

“We made a total of 15 stops.”

“So your car is a gas guzzler?” Sam bitched faced him.

“Baby only needed to be gassed up three times on that trip” Dean looked earnestly at Sam, waiting for the penny to drop.  Suddenly Sam blanched, because that was a long time ago and he'd drank a lot of water back then (Hello? He's the healthy one).  The vague sense of seeing himself saying to Dean “stop”, “we need to pullover”, “are we close?”, “I need”, “could we please find” … and lastly, the real cringe worthy one “I can’t hold it any longer Dean!!” Dean had had to make an emergency pit stop on the side of the road as he hurried out of the car before he had an embarrassing accident.

“So what? Can‘t we stop off like we’ve done before?”  Sam grumbled at him.

“We are making two stops Sammy.  One to eat and one to put gas in the car.  Then we are driving straight home” Dean gave Sammy a pointed look.

“Then I should be fine, look two stops. I’ve yet to drink water, so I’m good.”

Dean gave his brother a long hard look before relenting.  “All right, sure Sam since you know better.  Just remember, there won’t be any stops after the second stop.”

Sam walked over to his duffel bag and gave Dean a tight smile as he reaches inside his bag.  He pulled out a dark pair of briefs and slipped them on.

“You don’t have to worry about me Dean.  I think I can handle 8 hours.”  Sam walked back to the bed and started dressing himself.  Dean watched him for a second before nodding, telling himself “ok, if this is the way Sam wants to play it.  To conveniently forget all the times - including recently - he's had to stop the car when Sam asked.  Well this is the only way Sammy will learn.”  He walked out the motel door with both duffel bags and Sammy’s laptop.

Sam, scrambled after Dean, quickly closing the door and raced to the impala as Dean put both duffel bags in the trunk before closing it.  Sam stood in front of Dean reaching out for the laptop bag.  Dean stepped back giving Sam a look.

“Dean what are you doing that’s mine” Sam exclaimed as he reached for it again.  Dean grabbed his wrist giving Sam a look that made him drop his attempts to reach the bag.

Dean nodded in approval “Good boy.”  He walked over to the passenger side of the car and unlocked the door, opening it up for Sam.  Sam gave Dean a funny look, before sliding in carefully, looking up at Dean as he closed the door for Sam.  Dean walked around the car to his side and got, Sammy watching him the whole time.

“Can I have my laptop now?” Sam inquired as he saw his brother remove the messenger bag from his shoulder to place it in the foot-well at the back of his back seat.  Dean inserted the key into the ignition before responding Sam’s question without taking his eyes off the road ahead of him. 

“What do you think my answer will be Sammy, after the little adventure you've just had?”  Sam's shoulders slumped and he leant back.  Great, he had some notes saved on his file.  Maybe, when they get back to the bunker he could look over them again, he's sure to be grounded for a while.

He was used to Dean grounding him from time to time, even when both were having off days.  If he screwed up (put his life in danger or outright lied to Dean) or pushed his brother buttons past his breaking point (on purpose sometimes) he'd find himself grounded and told “don't step outside or else”.  As a teen he’d figured out really quickly what Dean meant by “or else.”

Having his butt whipped at 16, 17 and 18 was humiliating, or so he thought then.  After getting back on the road with Dean, getting his ass handed to him at 22 had been even worse.  He was hurting from Jess’ death so he purposely took advantage and was a total brat to Dean.  He criticized his hunting plans, or picked on his brother's “daddy's little solider mentally mode”.  That was a cheap shot, since although Dean followed orders from his dad; he'd shown that when his gut told them they might be in danger or something was off, he'd speak up.  However, he made sure to voice it in a way John heard and understood.

The Impala stopped 30 minutes later in front of a family restaurant.  Sam raised his eyebrows at Dean.

“What?” Dean asked.

“Nothing, I’m just surprised.  This doesn’t look like the usual greasy diner food place you love so much” Sam replied a bit humorlessly.

“Well, I need to make sure you get something easy on your tummy and a super clean place to boot.  I don’t need you getting sick on top of everything else.”

“Dean need I remind you that we’ve eaten in plenty of places that could have given me fatal food poisoning in the past?

“Yeah well not anymore” Dean exited the car and Sam followed suit.  A hostess greeted them and walked them over to their booth.  She handed them their menus and smiled really brightly at Dean.  She told him that their waitress would be with them shortly, but if they need anything else, to just call her.  She winked at Dean and Sam rolled his eyes.

Dean smiled right back and thanked her politely.  She reached down and placed her hand on top of Dean’s briefly before answering “Anytime” and slowly walking away with a sway to her hips.  Dean turned his hand over, pulled out a folded piece of paper from it.  Written on it was “Diane” and a telephone number.

Sam waited for Dean to gloat or to make dirty remark, but nothing came.  Instead, he watched as Dean rolled the paper and stuffed it into his pocket like he didn’t care.  Sam was taken aback by this display.  He looked at Dean and whispered “Christo.”  Dean snapped his head back at Sam “What the hell Sam!?” as his eyes went black and then to green again.

“Oh yeah I forgot … Knight of Hell … sorry.  But still, that is so not like you” Sam studied Dean confused and worried.  Had his brother changed that much?

Dean tilted his head to the side and gave his rendition of Sam's bitch-face “I didn't get a number every where we went into.”

Sam gave him a “seriously” look.  Dean took a deep breath “Okay fine, not when you were younger or around, if you recall you were my main priority.”

Sam, remembering his younger days, immediately felt guilty.  Even when girls were flirting with him, Dean would sacrifice himself.  Sam remembered how Dean would apologize; feed them a line about a sick little brother to take care of, or just a little brother to look after.  Of course, that could work in his favor too.  They loved Dean more for being such a sweet older brother, so it wasn’t too hard for Dean to hook up with the girl later.  They were willing to wait for such a caring and sweet guy.

“All right” Sam conceded this one to his big brother.  He picked up the menu and scrunched his face at it.  He really didn't feel like eating, so maybe he'd get something simple and quick.

The waitress popped up at their table.  She looked about mid-twenties with long blond hair, blue eyes and was very bubbly.

“Hi, I’m Chrissy and I will be your waitress.  How are you today and what can I get for you?” she said with a big overly bright smile as she looked at Dean and then Sam.

“Oh wow, you’re cute!” she gushed as she stared at Sam.  Sam returned the smile, but before he could say anything, Dean smiled up at her and answered “You should see him when he's sleeping.  He sticks his thumb in his mouth, he's the most adorable kid you’ve ever seen” Dean grinned.  Sam stared at Dean, mortified.  How could he share that?!

“Really, wow I thought most people grew out of that bad habit; Isn’t it kind of not sanitary?” Chrissy genuinely inquired.

“Yeah, the things this kid picks up.  I have to make sure his hands are always clean before he plops one in his mouth.”

“Oh?” Chrissy looks confused but then smiled as though a light bulb went off in her head.  She turned to Sam and looked at him differently, not in a weird way, more like a fond affectionate way.

“Well, not only are you cute but you are certainly one of the most adorable kids I've met.  Would you like a game to play with … uh ..?  She looks over at Dean who replied “Sam”.  She turned back to Sam.  “Sam would you like a game to play, while your brother?” Chrissy turned to Dean who nodded confirming she was correct “orders you guys food?”  She reached inside her apron pocket and pulls out a small box puzzle for age appropriate 5.

Sam's face was red and he wanted to protest and say something.  However, all that came out was a quiet “Thank you.”  He kept his face down as he gingerly reached for the box she'd placed on the table and pulled it down onto his lap not wanting others to see it and get the wrong idea.  He glanced up and saw that she was ready to place their order.  Dean placed his usual breakfast order; Sam simply tapped the items on his menu instead of speaking up.  Where on earth had his sudden shyness come from!?

“What was that Sammy?”

Sam huffed before tilting his menu toward Dean and repeated his action.  What the hell was wrong with him?!  He hadn’t done that since he was 9!  Dean frowned at his selection “Toast and coffee?”

Sam nodded his head “Sammy no.  You need something more substantial and filling.  How about some pancakes?”  Sam glared at Dean as he shook his head “no.”

Chrissy spoke up “If I may make a suggestion, our cook makes delicious Cinnamon French Toast that all the kids love.  And what about some fruit on the side?  How does that sound Sam?”

Sam cringed at her new tone, which was how adults talk to children.  He nodded quickly, just to get her to go away.

“And what would you like to drink?”  Before Sam could repeat his coffee order, well they did have Lattes, Dean answered for him “He’ll have a large glass of 2% milk and small orange juice.”

Sam looked angrily at Dean who just tilted his head, waiting to see if Sam would say anything. Sam knew this, so he sullenly looked away and said “Thank you”, again softly.  Chrissy walked away and returns five minutes later with a 10 oz orange juice in a colorful to go cup with a bendy straw.  Sam closed his eyes as he mouthed “God give me patience.”

Sam wrapped his big hand around the small cup and quickly pulls it to himself in attempt to just finishes it off quickly, but the universe seemed determined to humiliate him more.  Raising his drink too quickly, the straw poked him near the nose, causing him to squeeze the paper cup.  It spilled all over him and the table, making him jump back and hit his head on the wooden headboard of the booth they were sitting in.  Grabbing the back of his head he hissed as he felt a lump the size of a walnut, the result of last nights tumble with the demon in the diner, but dropped them in pain.  Seeing the giant spill on the table was mortified and frozen.

“I … I’m … s so sorry” Sam stuttered as he felt his eyes start to glaze over.

Chrissy jumped in right away with the dish towel she carried over her shoulder.  Dean had already grabbed all the napkins from the dispenser on the table.  All Sam could do was stare at the mess he'd made as they both cleaned it up.

“Oh my gosh, I am so sorry.  What was I thinking putting his drink in such a flimsy paper cup?” Chrissy apologized to them both.  Sam couldn't believe she was apologizing for what he'd just done.  It made him feel worse causing him to feel awkward, clumsy and useless as he tried to mop up some of the juice next to him on the seat with the sleeve of his flannel.  He didn't know why he was doing it; he just needed to do something.

“Sammy, no” Dean gently but firmly grabbed Sammy’s wrist to get him to stop rubbing the spot with his sleeves.  Too late, Sam cringed as he realized that his sleeves were now ruined too.

“I’m sorry D’n” Sam whispered hearing the crack in his voice.  Before Dean could say anything, Chrissy did “Aw don’t worry sweet heart accidents happen.  Besides it's not your fault, I should have put your juice in a more sturdy cup.  Here you go.”  Chrissy reached into her apron pocket again and pulled out a 5 row sticker sheet.  He looked at her in confusion but she just smiled at him “For being helpful and thoughtful by using your shirt.”

Sam didn't know what possessed him, but he gingerly reached for the stickers, thanking her.  “Hmm, now let’s see about getting you a new shirt.”  She looked over to the hostess area where there was a display case and smiles again brightly.  “I’ll be right back.”  She ruffled his hair and jogged towards the entrance of the restaurant.  As he watched her jog away, it finally hit him why her demeanor was vaguely familiar. 

He clenched his hands tight as Dean sensed the turmoil in Sam’s head “What wrong bud?”

Sam eyes were watering “She reminds me of Jess, this is how she was with the kids at the nursery center near Stanford.”  With unshed tears and tense voice, he felt overwhelmed with emotions realizing it had been so long since Jess had entered his thoughts.  He inhaled shakily and then felt Dean’s arms encircle him.

“I’m sorry Sammy, if I could take on the pain for you I would” Dean rubs his back and this time Sam leant into it whole heartily.  He felt Dean’s warmth wash over him and calm him down.

Chrissy returned with a powder blue t-shirt with the restaurant logo on it and a zipped up burgundy hoodie.

“Hmm here ya go” she handed the tee to Dean “We only had large shirts but the sweater is a 2XXL” she said, holding up the sweater to show the gigantic size.  Dean reached for the sweater as well and thanked her.

“Okay how about I go get the rest of your order while you change” she wink at Sam and saunter off.  Sam blinked when he felt his flannel shirt being tugged, he looked down to see Dean squatting in front of him.  Dean unbuttoned Sam's shirt quickly and effortlessly.  As he undid the last button he stood up and started to pull the plaid shirt off Sam’s shoulders.  Sam immediately woke up from whatever stupor he was in.

“Deeeeaaann”…Sam slammed his mouth shut.  Had he just whined?

“Saaaamm” Dean replied right back as he successfully removed the shirt before reaching for the t-shirt to pull it off Sam.

Sam got with the program and quickly squirmed back “No Dean, stop.”

“Sammy, the faster we get this done the better.  Then you can play with the puzzle the nice lady gave you, how about it bud?”

Sam stared at Dean.  “Is he seriously negotiating with me as though I’m really five?  Yup, of course he is” Sam rolled his eyes at Dean.

“I don’t want to play with stupid puzzle” he hissed quietly “and I don’t especially feel like giving people a free show.”

Dean smiles at the last remark “Okay shy boy.  What would you like to do?”

“Well first I can change my own t-shirt thank you very much” he said as he reached for the clean t-shirt “and second, I can go the bathroom and change.”  He got up and looked around until he saw the sign to the restroom.

Dean sighs but relented again a bit “Okay but be careful and call if you need anything.”

“I think I can manage 10 steps to and back from the bathroom” he stopped seeing Dean’s stare “all right and I’ll be careful too” he quietly added.  “Good boy” Dean ruffled his hair as Sam walked past him.

Sam entered the men’s' rest rooms and walked into an empty stall.  He took off the damp t-shirt and pulled on the new one.  It fitted, “thank god, I'm not built like before” he thought realizing his thin frame was okay for this fit.  Since it wasn't an x-large it just barely reached his waist line. However, he was almost swallowed whole by the sweater because of his weight loss.  He felt stupid as he pushed the sleeves up only for them to slide forward again covering half his hands.

Just as he stepped out of the stall he heard “Hello Moose.”  Seeing Crowley, Sam sighed before walking over to the bathroom door.  He cracked it open and could just make out Dean sitting at the booth.  He took a deep breath and turned around.

“You got my message.”

“No, I’m here for the awesome mimosa they serve here.  Of course I got your message!  Very clever to hide it in the tank of the toilet and leave a smudged arrow on the mirror pointing to it.”

“How’d you know to steam the bathroom to see it?” Sam inquired.

“I didn’t; but knowing you, I knew you leave some kind of clue hidden that can’t be seen by naked eyesight, so I just froze the air and lo and behold the arrow was there.”

Sam nodded “Clever” he muttered but Sam was relying on that cleverness Crowley did possess.

“So I take it you are ready to ditch Dean again?”

“No.”

“Come again.”

“Not yet.  I know Dean, he'll suspect you and believe me he’ll be down in hell within 5 seconds of departure and that won’t do me any good.”

“Then what do you suggest?”

Sam couldn't believe he was saying this, “The last full moon was almost a week ago.  Three weeks.  Give me three weeks and then come and get me.  By then I should have the last ingredient still in the bunker and you will possibly have the last two important ingredients for the spell too.”

“And how do you suppose I do that?  Last I checked the bunker was fortress to all supernatural creatures and warded upto the yin-yang against demons.”

Sam couldn't believe he was divulging this, and of all people to Crowley, “Not everything is warded.”  Sam saw Crowley's eyes immediately light up before he hid his expression.  Damn, he needed something from Crowley to reassure himself that this would not be a betrayal.  He had one card up his sleeve and he needed to play it carefully.  He had to work quickly, Dean would probably start to worry about baby brother taking too long in the bathroom soon.  He lifted his right leg and tapped the heel of his booth at an angel hard, until it popped.  He reached down quickly and pulls out a black coated key, a small paper and a white stick.

He held the key to Crowley as he explained, “This unlocks the top hatch lock, near the water barrel of the bunker there is one sigil in place and easily reachable to a cunning demon who can erase it with water condescension from outside the walls”

He pulled back as soon as Crowley reached for it “I need your word that you will not pull anything funny other than getting me out and taking me straight to hell to get to the cage” Sam said, eyes narrowed.

“Of course, whatever you want moose.”

“No Crowley I need your word and promise.”

“What, do you need a contract sealed with a kiss?”

“No.  No contract or demon sealing kiss, just your word and promise.”

“Don’t you trust me?”

“As far as I can throw you.”

“All right, fine you have my word as the King of Hell.  No funny business until our deal is concluded.”

“And?!”

“Fine. Safe passage to and from hell, plus no harm to you or your brother, yada, yada.  Satisfied?”

Sam gave Crowley a hard look before holding out the key.  As Crowley reached for it again he simultaneously switched the key with the white stick and poked the tip of Crowley's finger with it.

“Ow, what the devil?!”

Sam started to chant in Latin “Daemonis Michi Sermo ac Protetione Defendit.”

Then he tosses the key to Crowley, who caught it “What the bloody hell was that?” he asked as he sucked his finger.

Sam smiled “insurance.”

“What?”

“I've always wondered how King Solomon was able to command demons and not get swindled like everyone else.”

Sam smirked as he saw Crowley understand what he was saying “That’s impossible the only way….”

“Something real from the original body, like, oh, I don’t know, “A bone from the actual body?” Sam held up what Crowley had first thought was a stick but was actually a small, slim bone.  Like a finger joint.

“How did you…?” Crowley stopped before he gave anything away.

“It’s funny how kids can open up after a bottle of Scotch, and all the resentment comes pouring out.  Oh, by the way Gavin says hello.  He was talking about his daddy’s favorite places.  The ones that he liked to visit when he was alive.”  Sam shrugged “I’d already figured there’s no way in hell you'd be ever stupid enough to take your bones to hell.  Any of your enemies down there could stumble upon them by accident. But clever how you booby trapped it so if anyone did find them, the roof and wall would cave in on them and they'd be buried alive in those Italian catacombs.”

“I’ll give you this much credit, I almost didn’t make it and almost gave up since not only did the cavern with your bones collapse, but part of the passage I ran down too.  I got caught in that and all I was able to grab was this one piece (Sam held up the bone) before it all went down.”

“After all that hard work how do you know it was the real thing and not a decoy?”

“Well there is always the “set fire to it” method.  Granted it wouldn't kill you, but it would hurt like hell and no amount of demon power would restore the appendage I burn off.  Or, you could try to flick your wrist and see if you can pin me, which you've been trying for the last few minutes as I talk. That means the spell worked and this is yours” Sam held it up triumphantly.

“Well you can’t blame a girl for trying” Crowley shrugged.  “So three weeks until the full moon was it?”

“We need 24 hours before it raises and I need to be close to the Cage exactly at midnight, to make contact.”

“So in out, drop you off, not a problem” Crowley continued “Your side might be a problem though.”

“Dean won’t be a problem.”

“Not what I meant” Sam looks at Crowley confused.  Crowley rolls his eyes “Three weeks alone with big brother taking care of every little need, pampering you, spoiling you, not sure you might want to leave by that time” Crowley said, eyebrows raised.

Sam's face got redder and redder with each word Crowley said.  He swallowed “Don’t worry about me, you just be there. Understand?”

“Never said I was; Good luck” and with that Crowley left.  Sam, still reeling with what Crowley had just said, walked over to the sink and turned on the faucet.  He tried rolling his sleeves back but gave up after a minute and threw the sweater down on the tile floor.  He then washed his face and hands.  He looked into the mirror and was surprised by his reflection.  His eyes looked younger than what he was used to.  Was this what Chrissy saw, or Madge or anyone who they'd met?  It couldn't be, otherwise how would he be able to interview the victims’ families? 

He could hear Dean’s voice in his head over the years “Sammy do the eyes thing”, “I swear you make little old ladies or mother want to take care of you”, “You have a way that makes people trust you.”

Sam clenched his hands at those memories and closed his eyes tightly, taking a deep breath before exhaling.  Crowley could be right, he's freely walking into the lion's lair, how far could he go down the rabbit hole before losing himself in the process?  Not that he necessarily agreed with everyone about his status in the cosmic of reality, Sam snorted at that.

Not only was he a freak but he was a freak among freaks according to everyone.  He shook his head.  He was about to give the performance of a lifetime, thank God, he and Dean had practice for that … of course, the only problem was he’s never been very good at lying to Dean.  Dean always knew when he was lying or not forth coming with what he was really feeling, sometimes his brother would push or leave him alone.  Of course, he’d only leave him alone because he knew that Sam would crack and spill before he even realized it.

With Dean’s new powers, especially of reading minds or sensing emotions, it would be even harder and exhausting to keep his mind completely shielded and his true intent hidden. 

Ruby had been a true work of deception and had taught everything she knew to Sam.  Especially how to conceal his thoughts from prying demons, granted it was much easier with the demon blood … but Sam remembered Ruby telling him before her demise “You never needed the magic feather.”  It had taken him years to figure out what she meant.  He knew now that it was because Azazel’s blood coated his … or rather, had combined with his to become part of his DNA.

He also knew that he could feel the lost innocent child he once was or still is at times just under the surface.  Maybe if he could just release it a bit, it would also help to conceal his thoughts from Dean.  It could distract him as well to make sure he didn't give himself away.  But would he be able to control it enough so that he didn't fully give himself over to it and lose himself? God is he really thinking of himself as two people? No its’ just him it has always just been him, he shakes his head, he doesn’t have time to contemplate this more.

Plan in mind, Sam pulled the sweater back on and walked out the bathroom, breathing evenly.

Dean looks up as he reached the table “I was going to send in the cavalry in a minute.”  Sam rolled his eyes even though Dean was joking, he knew that Dean was getting worried.  Before Sam could say anything, Chrissy walked up with their order.  She set the two plates down, then from she put Dean's mug down and filled it with coffee.  Next she set a see through 20 oz tumbler cup filled with milk in front of Sam.  It would be fine except it was decorated with stickers of moons, stars and planets, that Sam guessed Chrissy did herself. 

“Ta Da!” she beamed with a smile.  “A sturdy, strong, full cosmic adventure cup for a big boy.”

Sam's eyes widened.  He really, really wanted to just throw it away but he forced himself to smile up at her, seeing her brim with pride.  “Thank you, I like it” he managed to say.  He hadn't thought that it could get any worse, but it did when she set his plate down and saw what was on it.

She reached down “May I?” He turned to see what she was doing and saw that her hand was on his sweater sleeve, which is half covering his hand.  He glanced at Dean who just smiled, so he nodded unable to speak.

She began rolling his sleeves back.  “I didn’t want you to ruin your new sweater, I hadn't realized that it would be so big on you.  Maple syrup has a nasty habit of sneaking up on you” she smiled again before standing up.

“Okay gentlemen.  You should be set and if you need anything let me know.  I’ll check in on you in 20 minutes” and with that she walked away.

Sam looked at Dean’s omelet, hash brown, bacon and sausages.  Although it was a lot of food that was just asking for a heart attack, it also looked grown-up.  He looked down at his own food.  It was French toast all right, but cut into toaster sticks and decorated with a smiley face hair made from whipped cream.  Plus, his fruit was on the same plate instead of a separate bowl, so it touched the whip cream, ruing the fruit's nutrition.

“Sam, start eating your food.”

“With what?” Sam muttered.

Dean arched an eyebrow at him.  Sam waved his hand over the table “I have no utensils” he argued.

“You don’t need any.  Use your hands, its finger food Sammy.”

Sam gave Dean an incredulous look “And the fruit?!”

Dean reaches over to a dispenser on the table and pulled out a plastic utensil before handing it to Sam.  He gave Dean a glare…

“Now what?” Dean asked.

“It’s a spork!”

“And?”

Sam dropped his head … right, of course.  He grabs the spork from Dean and stabbed his fruit with it.  The faster he ate, the faster they'd leave.  He tried the spork on the French toast, but it wasn't strong enough to hold it.  He decided to use the side of the spork to cut the toast smaller and eat it that way.  For the first time he takes a page from his brother and eat like him (shovels everything in), grabs the tumbler, when he finishes his French toast and fruit and in three long sips he’s done.

He sat back up and picked up the napkin next to him to wipe his own mouth when he realized that he was having trouble with the paper napkins; his fingers are sticking to them and he tried valiantly to shake them off only making confetti of them.

Dean tried not laugh out loud at what he saw Sammy doing.  He was looking adorable with bits of napkin stuck to his chin, hair and hands.  Sammy wore the scowl he always had when something was not going his way.  Dean signaled to their waitress, once he got her attention he motioned for a wet towel, she happily brought him one, he walked over to Sam’s side of the booth, squatted in front of him and gently gabbed his hands.

“Ok bud let’s see if we can take some off that sticky syrup off you.”

Sam face reddened as he watched Dean wipe him down “there we go, all done.”

“Can we please go now?” Sam begged.

“Sure can” Dean assured his brother.  He called Chrissy back to them and asked for the check. Upon bringing the check she hugged Sam telling him how sweet and adorable he was.  She looks over to Dean saying that she hoped they'd come by again and give her a call, she had a nephew who might like to go to the park with Sam.  Sam patted her back absentmindedly but his face said “kill me now”.

He walked past Dean they walked out the restaurant to the car.  He pulled the door open and slid in.  He leant back and sighed with relief, yawing bit and closed his eyes.

He felt when Dean got in the car, but before starting it he leant toward Sam and gently tugs him forward.  Sam allows it, wondering what was going on.  When he felt Dean’s fingers slide down the back of his head and he immediately hisses a bit.  Dean found the lump, the one the stupid demon gave him when he'd slammed his head on the floor.

“I’m sorry Sammy, I should have taken care of this before letting you go to sleep this morning.”

“S’ok Dean, not the first time I’ve gotten a bump on the head.”

“Yeah, but we usually remember to ice it and you take some Tylenol, before you go to sleep.’

“Well, um, you were kind of busy taking care of other ... well other stuff” Sam mumbled off towards the end.  His eyes suddenly became bright and round as he turned to Dean “But hey, you can do what you did last night to help alleviate the pain?”

Dean was afraid of this; he did not want Sam to rely on healing quickly for every little bump in the road they usually dealt with.

“Well it’s not a concussion or worse than a slight pinch when you put pressure on it right?”

“Well yeah, but…”

“We’ll just ice it when I get to the gas station, buy some cold packs and if it still hurts, I’ll give you some Tylenol and then you could take a nap in the back.”

“I don’t want to take a nap, I don’t see the point of getting cold pack or Tylenol when you can just as easily heal the bump on my head!”

“Sam, it'll heal up soon enough buddy.  It's just a little bump.  Cold packs and Tylenol are the way to go.  You can't get used to me healing every little thing.  You probably won't feel it tomorrow anyway.” 

“But it’s hurting now” Sam actually pouted but didn't care.  He didn't understand why Dean being a big meany.  Why couldn't he just take away his 'owie' like he always did?  He was aware of calling his bump an 'owie' but, god dam it; that what this was.  He slouched down in his seat and turned away from Dean, making it obvious he didn't want to see or talk to him right now.

“Sammy” Dean tried, but received a sniff and an angry huff in reply as Sam tucked himself more towards the door of the impala.  Dean sighed, he recognized Sammy’s little temper tantrum and knew the little shit would be stubborn enough stay quiet halfway through the trip.  He also knew that Sammy would stop his silent treatment when he was good and ready, or when he finally needed to ask something.

Dean pulls the car onto the road and drove for a good 30 minutes before he pulled off the highway into a gas station.  The gas station was an all convenience store, so he'd be able to get a couple of supplies there too, while he gassed up the Impala.  He turned to ask Sam if he would like something but saw him closing the car door, he was already walking to the store. Okay, it looked like Sam was still being his moody self.

He walked quickly to catch Sam up.  Sam might be mad at him, but he still needed to keep close to make sure the kid didn't get into anything, he could be a handful when in a foul mood.  Upon entering the station, he saw that Sammy already perusing the candy aisle and grabbing a few bags off the shelf.  Dean walked purposely over to him and cleared his throat.  Sam completely ignored him, grabbing large bags of sweet and sour gummies and hard candy - butterscotch flavor life savers, box of red vines and a bag of pixie sticks.  He turned to walk down the aisle but Dean blocked his way.

“Put those back now and decide on one thing you really want Sam.”

Sam glares at him and tries to side step him.  “Sammy” Dean warned.  Sam’s step faltered a bit but he took a deep breath and continued to walk forward.  He suddenly felt a sting on his butt but before he could react, two more smacks landed on his butt.  He tries to spin but realized that Dean was holding him by his bicep.

“Now Sammy, I will not tell you again.”

Sam stares at him in shock and he felt his eyes mist over.  His eyes darted quickly around the store and, to his relief, no one had seen. 

He turned to Dean and said quietly “I don’t need to ask your permission for things I buy with my own money” Sam fumed at his brother but his voice quavered.

“No, what you are doing is still throwing a fit and making yourself sick is not the answer.  You already know what too much sugar does to you.”

“You didn’t care about fixing the bump on my head, so don’t start acting like you care about my tummy.’

Dean didn’t bother to counter that argument, he knew Sam understood why he didn’t heal his bump.  Sam was just being a stubborn little shit for not getting his way.

“Sam I am giving you to the count of three to put back all the candy except one or you and me are taking a little trip to the bathroom in the back.”

“You wouldn’t” Sam faltered a bit.

“One” Dean said, gaze firm.

“That’s not fair” Sam said as he edged away.

“Two” Dean stepped forward.

“Okay, okay” Sam started to quickly put the entire candy back as he looked over to Dean.  Dean  smiled and said “Good boy Sammy.”

For some strange reason, that hit a sore spot.  Sam suddenly felt overwhelmed, his emotions crashing over but he didn't care, he just let them out.

“YOU'RE MEAN!!” he blurted out as tears escaped his eyes.  Dean was taken by surprise by Sammy’s actions.  Sam didn't care, he was tired, his head hurt and his bottom stung.  Plus, he hadn't done anything wrong!  Dean was just being a big meanie!

“Hey Sammy, it’s okay, buddy” Dean felt awful for Sam.  He pulled him into a hug and started to rub his back.  He could feel Sammy's emotions and realized he was really tired, after driving all day yesterday and staying up late so getting bare minimum of sleep.  His baby brother was running on reserve and the small ache of his bump was now turning into a throbbing pulse, because he was tired.  Dean looked around the store, it was still fairly empty, and he saw what he needed.  He really wanted to pick Sam up and carry him back to the car, but he knew that would make Sam fall completely apart and the kid was feeling vulnerable as it is.

“Sammy baby, wait right here and don’t move” Sam sniffed and nodded his head.  Dean ran quickly to the fridge and grabbed a couple bottle of fruit drinks and water, then over to the drug aisle to get a bottle of children's Tylenol.  Next to it he saw the oral medication syringe and got the 10ml one (2tps).  He got back to Sam who looked like he could drop at any moment.  He grabbed Sam's hand and walked over to the cashier to pay.  Sam was now completely leaning into him.

They walked outside and Dean opened the door for Sam, who slumps in.  Dean quickly filled up the Impala’s tank and got in himself, he drove over to the side of the convenience store to find a spot where he could do what needed to be done.  He got out and walks over to Sammy's side of the door and opened it up, leading Sammy to the back door of the car.

“Okay baby, let’s get you settled in.”  He sat Sam down facing him with car door open, then shook the bottle of Tylenol.  He put the syringe in and filled it up and then he put it in Sam's mouth.  Sam frowned at first but the, went ahead and closed his lips around the dispenser.  Dean repeated the action with Sam compiling, before reaching down and removing Sam’s boots.

“Okay Sammy, lie back.”  Sam crawled in and saw a pillow there for him already.  Dean didn't close the door but went to the passenger seat door and reached into the glove compartment.  He pulled out a bag, opens it up and took out something that Sam couldn't see.  Then he saw Dean open up an apple juice bottle and start to pour into the another container.

Dean twisted the top closed before walking back to Sam, holding the bottle towards Sam.

Sam glanced at the bottle, but then sighed.  He was just too tired to bitch at his brother.  He grabbed it and settled back into the pillow, holding the bottle, until he felt the rumble of the Impala start up.  Sam blinked, once, twice until he finally brought the bottle to his mouth and began to suck.  He was grateful for the crisp sweet taste of the apple juice, he’d always enjoyed as a kid.  The soft rumbling of the car beneath him began to lull him to sleep, he felt comforted, warm and safe.  He kept a watch on his big brother’s head through half sleepy eyes enjoying the sense of peace and tranquility.  He sighed happily and nuzzle deeper into his pillow, pulling on the baby blue blanket his brother had draped over him after climbing into the front seat of the car.

Then, softly the sounds of Led Zeppelin wafted over the air, making everything feel perfect.  It brought back feelings of homesickness, of days when he was safe, when he truly was John and Dean’s baby and there was nothing for him to worry about.  He'd felt protected in the bubble they had created around him and he really missed that part of his life, especially after he'd found out monsters were real.

“So, why not?” he thought.  “Just let go for now and enjoy.  What's the harm?”  Sam completely relaxed and let his mental shields down as he cooed to himself.  He snuggled his blanket and sucked on his bottle happily.  He'd just chalk it up to feeling not well, he did have a headache thanks to the bump on his head.  Just like other times over the years, Dean would nurse him back to health and allow Sam his clingy-ness, neediness, touchy feely, pouty moments without calling him out on it.

Dean felt the change in Sam instantly and looked in the back through the review mirror.  He smiled brightly at seeing Sam totally relaxed and happy, looking truly adorable.  Sam was the total picture of pure innocence and eternal youth.  It took all of Dean not to pull the car over and cuddle his brother.  He didn’t want to break the spell so he just watched his little brother slip into his natural baby head space, as he’d done over the years and enjoy himself.  They had 7 hours to go.

4 hours later down the road:

Sam was having a happy dream, he was in a beautiful green field with wild flowers and trees all around.  He was in an open clearing sitting on a large colorful quilt.   Dean was there, tossing a red ball to Sam.  Dean looked exactly how he did back when he first pick up Sam from Stanford, Sam looked likes he did back then too except, he was really happy.   He was wearing blue short overalls and a white cotton polo short sleeved shirt.  He smiled goofily at Dean every time he caught the ball and threw it back to Dean who was standing a bit back form the quilt.  He clapped his hands when he saw his brother catch the ball and heard himself call out “again.”  However, before Dean could throw the ball back, he heard another voice join them.

“Hey Sammy, how’s my baby boy doing?” Sam whipped his head around to see his dad striding forward looking strong, just like he remembered.  Sam felt giddy and crawled over towards John.  Getting to the edge of the blanket he reached his hands up to him “Daddy’ he exclaimed excitedly.  John jogged the last few steps to Sammy and lifted him high in the air before hugging him tight to his chest.  Sam returned the hug then pulled back a bit to see his dad smiling up at him while still holding him in his arms.  “Wow, daddy’s strong too” Sam thought since he fitted into John arms easily.  He turned to see Dean walking towards them and smiling.

“Hey Dad” Dean called.

“Hey yourself Ace” John replied. 

When Dean joined them John spoke again “Hey Sammy, guess what?  Dean and I have a surprise for you” John smiled brightly and turned toward a row of trees pointing to them.  “Who’s’ that Sammy?”

Sam squinted his eyes and saw someone step out of the trees.  Her long blond hair blowing softly in the wind.  She was wearing a beautiful flowing white skirt and top to match.

“Who is that baby, can you tell us?” Dean teased.

Sam eyes widened as he looked between John and Dean before looking back at the pretty lady who he'd only ever seen in pictures growing up.  As she got closer she smiled at him and Sam whimpered “mama.”  When she heard that she ran the last few feet to them and joined the circle.

“Oh baby, look at you, so adorable” she cooed at him as she nuzzle her face next into him.  He could feel Dean's hand on his back as John kept hold under his bum, so that Mary could hug him.  He'd missed his family being together, he needs this.  Mary, his mom, was cooing to him as his tummy let out a rumble and she laughed.  He dropped his head and mumbled “hun’gy De’n.”

“Well it's a good thing that I brought a basket full of food for my boys” Mary said holding up an old fashioned picnic basket.  Dean took Sam from John and settles him down on the quilt before sitting and next to him.  Sammy, looked up at his parents and saw them share a passionate kiss, he scrunched his nose up saying “yuck.”

“Yeah” Dean agreed with Sam, “there are kids here.  Do you want to traumatize Sam?” Dean teased his parents.  Mary and John laughed and joined them on the blanket.  Sam was happily gabbing away with his family and eating his desert, when he felt something and starts to squirm.  His big brother leaned over and ask “What’s wrong Sammy?”

He made little sounds and looked at Dean whispering “Gotta go De”.  Dean smiled at him and reminded him “It’s ok bud, remember you’re wearing your diaper.”  Sam blushed and smiled, of course, its ok to have accidents now because Dean is here to change him.  He relaxed and continued to play with mommy, as he felt his bladder let go into the diaper … everything was fine.

Back in the real world

Sam was squirming in his sleep, frowning, when just minutes before he'd been totally relaxed and smiling.  He whimpered then relaxed and sighed.  Suddenly, his eyes snapped open as he felt the front of his jeans start to get really warm, it spread all down his front area until it stopped.  “……w…wh…what happened?” he thought as he reached down carefully to touch.  He pulled his hand back quickly, he’d wet himself.

He grabbed the blanket tightly and buried his face in the pillow, letting tears fall followed by a wail.

Dean startled as he heard the muffled cry and quickly glanced back to see if Sammy was ok.  He sensed Sammy’s emotions and immediately knew what had happened.  He looked down the road and saw a rest stop up head.  Driving quickly he pulled off the highway into the rest stop.  Seeing that it was empty he parked the Impala close to some trees and a picnic area.  He grabbed the duffel bag that he'd left next to him, knowing that he would need it.  He opened the car door to see Sam, his shoulders shaking, face buried in his pillow and hearing the muffled sobs.  Dean knew that he had to be very careful, Sam was still in his head space but confused and waring with anger and hurt as well.

Dean shushed and cooed as he reached out to Sam and put his and softly onto his back.  Sam shuddered, “Hey there Sammy, aww baby don’t cry, it’s going to be okay.”

Sam shook his head “no” on the pillow refusing to turn around.  Dean exhaled a long breath, knowing he had to do this.  He snapped his fingers and a changing mat appeared under Sam.  He reached for his baby brother and turned him over easily.  Sam's eyes were closed, but tears were still streaming down his face as little sobs escaped through his lips although he was clearly trying to suppress them.  Dean had to calm him before he could start changing him.  He reached into the bag a pulled Sam’s stuffed dog out.

“Hey baby, look’s who's here.”

Although still crying, Sam opened his eyes slightly to see his dog.  He opened his eyes more and more tears escaped as he made hiccuped.

“Aww baby, Flops doesn’t want to see you sad.  Why don’t you hold him and reassure him?”

Sam reached tentatively for the dog, pulling him close to his chest as he stared at Dean with sad; weepy eyes. “Aww sweetheart, let’s get you cleaned up.  You'll feel so much better.”

Dean grabbed one of Sam’s baby washcloths and reached for Sammy’s face, cleaning his tears away.  He paused at Sam’s nose, telling him to blow, twice, which he did.

“There you, go a bit better, right?”  Sam nodded wordlessly.  As he reached for the buttons on Sam's jeans, Sam let out a small whine.  Dean automatically pulled out one of Sammy's pacifiers from the bag and held it up to him.  Sam accepted it without fuss, a tremor runs through his body but then he relaxed completely.  Dean observed Sammy, his face, hugging flops tightly, sucking on his pacifier, his eyes closed.  He was breathing easily now.

Dean again reached for Sam’s jeans and unbuttoned them.  He pulled them off, rolling, then putting them into a plastic bag.  Next, he reached for Sammy's boxers and peeled them off, they were clearly soaked.  Sam whimpered around the pacifier, Dean made more shushing noises, causing him to relax again.  Dean dropped the boxers in the bag too.  Dean grabbed the baby wipes and starts cleaning Sam up, making sure to go all around Sammy’s groin area twice and between his inner thighs, cleaning off as much of the urine as possible.  He would give Sammy a bath later that evening when they got home.  He applied some baby cream all over Sammy’s genital area before sliding a diaper under his baby’s bum, pulling the front up over Sammy and closing the tabs, makes sure it was snug and secure.  Dean reached in the duffel and pulled out some light blue sweats and put them on Sam.

The whole time Sammy was complacent with no arguing or fussing.  He sniffed couple of times while Dean changed him, but nothing else.  Dean pulled out another baby bottle filled with formula milk with added protein from the bag.  It had been four hours since Sammy had eaten, although he'd had a late breakfast at 11am.  It would do for lunch until that evening.  When they got back to the bunker Dean could make him a decent dinner.

Luckily, the formula was full of vitamins and added protein to keep Sammy's tummy filled, 

providing the nutrients he needed too.  He shook, warming it to the perfect temperature for Sammy to enjoy.  Dean tugged gently on the pacifier, causing Sammy to make a sad sound as he opened his eyes to look at Dean confused.  He tried to reach up for the pacifier but Dean moved it out of reach.  Sammy's lips began to tremble and Dean quickly placed the bottle in his other had against his brother's lips.

“Hey Sammy, its lunch time.  You must be hungry after such a good long nap?”  Sam looked at Dean and hesitantly opened his mouth.  Dean placed the bottle in and Sam immediately latched on to feed, letting out a sigh of contentment.  He brought his hand up to hold the bottle and as soon as he did, Dean let go.  He watched Sam for a couple of minutes.  Sammy had closed his eyes again, realizing the poor kid must be really tired.  Dean shook himself out of his stupor and started to clean up. He removed the changing pad without disturbing Sam, replacing it with a soft blanket.  Then he took a new baby blanket, a yellow one, and covered his brother.  He put the blue one into the same bag as the wet jeans and underwear, knowing he'd have to do laundry as soon as he got back.  He tied up the bag and puts in the foot well of the passenger’s seat, grabbed the duffel and put it on the seat next to him.

“Okay Sammy, three more hours to go and we will be home, but you know me baby bro I'll probably cut it in two.” Dean smiles at Sammy’s agreement from around the bottle.  Dean started up the car and pulled back on to the highway.  As soon as they got back Dean knew that this time he was going to have to really enforce the rules with his brother, not to mention discuss his naughty behavior and punishment.  That would have to wait until tomorrow morning.   Sammy was completely relaxed and happy in his baby head space at the moment and he knew what he needed to do to keep him there.

He still needed to feed Sammy dinner, give him a bath and put him to bed at a decent hour, not later than 9:30pm.  He'd keep Sam on a schedule later. 

He saw the bunker up ahead a while later and hoped that everyone had gone as he pulled into the bunker's garage.


	13. Home again, Home again Jiggety-Jig

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam awakens back in the Bunker, having no memories of last night how or when he got home...and now having to deal with the aftermath of his little adventure as Dean lightly puts it.  
> Sam is reminded once again of his "Little Brother" status when Dean puts him over his knees, causing Sam to slip even further into his head-space and maybe, just maybe really doesn't it mind it so much? But before Sam can actually relax more trouble on the horizon arrives when a panic Charlie calls Sam....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for this chapter: Spanking of an Adult/ Corporal punishment ( there will be use of a belt) - if this is a trigger for you i say skip it
> 
> Once again it has taken me 3 months to update and I apologize, it looks like this will be the normal updating process since between work and life my writing takes back seat, plus its really hard to find inspiration, when trying to find any new infantilism/age play fic featuring my fav character Sam as the baby :(
> 
> many thanks to all of you who have hung on this long waiting for my updates, thanks for the kudos, comments and of-course patience with me. Also a a lovely thank you for Miss.Pixieleigh ( author for "Home") for helping me this time in Beta-in this chapter in just 2 days so i could l post up today- also my anchor and support, and shares the same love for Adult baby Sammy and Dean as the awesome big brother caretaker.

Sam sighs contently, turning over on his stomach and enjoys the well warm feeling he is encased in at the moment. He hasn’t felt this good since forever and he just wants to bask in it a little bit more, before… before...

Sam brows furrow, um... before... There is something he is supposed to be doing and can’t recall for the life of him… Oh well must of not been important. 

Sam starts to stretch and realizes, huh, he hasn’t heard his alarm go off for his usual morning jog.

Oh well no time like the present to start his routine. He stretches first and hears a pop and sits up, eyes still closed and yawning. As he swings his legs off the bed and reaches to rub his eyes, two things happen. First his feet hit something hard (ow) and it vibrates the bed. And the second he feels his right hand covered in something… he opens his eyes startled.

Seeing the bars again, everything comes back to Sam including last night’s activities. Looking around, the jolt of surrealism hits him again seeing the nursery. He feels like he is Alice in one of Lewis Carrol’s Adventures in Wonderland stories. He reaches up to scrub his face and then stops and sees something new.

He holds both his hands upright….what the?? He flexes his fingers and can barely move them that much. “Jesus H. Christ!! Mits!!! BABY MITS!!!” Sam’s mind explodes with a ton of expletives as he also swears beneath his breath. “I am going to Kill Him. After I cure him, I am going to kill him very, very slowly.”

Dean opens the door and walks in immediately to the crib with a very set stern look on his face. Sam glares right back at Dean through the crib's rails as he pulls the rails down. 

Sam shows Dean his hands. “REALLY DEAN!”

Dean ignores Sam and reaches for him. This time Sam moves left and then right to avoid Dean.

“Sammy enough!” 

“Oh it’s enough all right!”  Sam yells right back and then he launches himself at Dean ready to wrestle, fight dirty, he does not care. But then he gasps as Dean easily catches him and swings him up in his arms.

Dean walks over to the dreaded changing table and lays Sam down before Sam can move or talk. Dean raises his finger and gives Sam a warning 

“If you so much as move or give me lip, I am telling you right now, you will be going to bed every night this week with a warm sore butt, instead of the one spanking you are getting after I clean you up, do you understand?”

Sam was frozen in place and nodded mutely, eyes wide. 

Dean proceeded to unzip the green sleeper from Sam and pull Sammy’s legs out, unsnapping the wet diaper and dropping it in the diaper pail next to the changing table. He passes a baby wipe across Sammy’s front and then back. Then he sat Sammy up on the changing table and pulled out his arms from the sleeper, leaving him only in a Baby White Side snap tee with long sleeves.

Dean reaches to lift Sam up from the changing table. At that moment it hits Sam that he is wearing no diaper or bottom pants to cover his lower half; in essence he is completely bare from the waist down. Dean picks him up and Sam yelps, trying to squirm out of his hold.

“Sammy, settle down.”

“Dean, wait, uh, don’t you... I mean… what are you doing?” Sam finishes weakly. 

Dean hears Sam’s embarrassment and the actual questions buzzing through his mind. “I thought that would be fairly obvious, Sammy.”

“Carrying me half naked through the room does not yield any obvious answers,” Sam gripes

“No?” Dean muses “Well it will in one minute,“ he adds as he settles down on the couch in Sammy’s room. He sits Sam down in his lap and grabs his chin to face him. “Sammy, I am doing this because I love you and need you to understand.” Sam looks confusingly at Dean. “I don’t put these rules in place to hurt you, but to keep you safe. Now that being said...” He picks up Sammy and turns him over his knees.

It hits Sam right then and there what Dean is going to do. “Dean wait, no please.” Sam struggles to get off Dean, but it was like trying to move a stone wall.

“Sammy, on that first day I sat and told you all the rules. The do’s and don’t’s. I gave you fair warning should you misbehave what would happen and here we are.”

“Dean please.”

“Sammy, you deliberately broke the rules, this will go easier if you just cooperate.”

“Fuck You Dean!”

“And there is another one you are piling on yourself,“ Dean sighs. “So let’s name the infractions. One; you did not listen when I told you to. Two; you are not allowed to go out by yourself. Three; you also read books and used sharp and dangerous objects not age appropriate. Four; you cast a spell and called Crowley. Five; you endangered yourself. And last, you repeatedly used profanity.”

“You have no right, Dean!” Sam struggled in a futile attempt to free himself, but in this position he had no leverage

“I have every right. I’m the older brother and it’s my job to look after you!”

Not wanting to waste any more time Dean immediately began swatting his brother’s butt, hard and fast.

A pained ‘OWW!” escaped Sam’s lips, before he immediately clamped down on it.  _ He was an adult and a hunter, he’s been through worse pain than this, he can endure this,  _ Sam’s mind was determined,  _ I can endure this…. _

However, despite Sam’s best efforts at remaining stoic and the burning sting steadily increased, he unconsciously began to squirm over his brother’s knees. 

Dean felt his little brother starting to squirm, knowing he was close. He paused to view his handy-work, seeing Sam’s butt cheeks were dark pink, but the under curve and tops of his thighs were still milky white. He raised one knee in order to change the angle, knowing from personal experience how sensitive this particular area was.

“All right, I think your warm-up’s done now.”

“Warm-up!” Sam spluttered.  _ But it hurt so much already!  _

Sam tensed, knowing full well what the shift in position meant. The first slap of skin on skin to the crease where his buttocks met thighs was loud in the room, but Sam quickly forgot the amount of noise not to make, when the sharp, intense sting registered in his brain a moment later. He couldn’t prevent another yelp from escaping, before gritting his teeth determinedly in order to neutralize any other sounds he might be tempted to make.

When Dean had painted the under curve and the very top of Sam’s thighs with red handprints so that it matched the rest of his derriere, he paused for a moment to listen to Sam’s breathing. _  Darn, the kid is stubborn – his breathing is quicker and shallower than normal, but he isn’t crying yet.  _ Dean hated hurting his brother, but this was for his own good and he just wanted to get it over with. He moved his swats back up to the crest, employing a technique he had learned first-hand: swatting the same area three times before moving on.

Sam squirmed under the onslaught, trying desperately to escape the pain, but failing miserably. Sam’s ass was on fire, the heat pulsating through him. He just wanted the pain to stop. Dean picked up the pace, the blows coming down faster now, and even though Dean hadn’t increased his strength it was enough to make Sam whimper in pain.

“Do you have any idea how worried I was? I thought something had happened to you Sam. I just kept thinking, oh my god what if Sammy’s hurt?”

Sam knew it was true he could hear the pain and worry in Dean’s voice and it actually made Sam feel like such a little brat. He sucked in a breath, trying to stay focused and ignore the ever increasing heat, pain and soreness. He could feel his eyes start to fill with tears.

“I would never forgive myself if something happened to you.”

Okay that hurt to hear; the truth from it stung more than Dean’s hand. He knows how much Dean holds himself responsible for his wellbeing, he knows this is Dean’s one most single flaw and weakness, and Sam’s single most weakness is not wanting to disappoint his brother.

Sam’s breath hitched and he hiccuped a small sob, but stop the next one from escaping. He couldn’t hold out much longer, it hurt too damn much, physically and emotionally. Sam could feel himself on the edge as one tear escape down his nose. 

Okay maybe if he apologies and means it this will stop…

When he tries to vocalize this, he hiccupped out a louder sob and bites down on his lower lip (no I won’t become some blubbering mess) even though Sam could feel the tears start to slide down.  _ I need to stop this before I lose it completely _ he thinks mournfully. He tried again (Sam was in denial- he knew he has already lost it).

“I’m… really… s-s-sorry. I didn’t… m-mean to make you…” Sam stopped he couldn’t finish, because he could hear his voice breaking down. He gave a loud sob,  _ please Dean,  _ he thinks as he feels his body starting to shake and break down.

“I know Sammy, I know you are, almost done,” Dean paused

_ Almost?  _ Sam knew what that meant. The brief period of relief was outweighed by the intensity of what was sure to follow...  _ No, no, no, please not that _ he thinks

“P-please D-Dean, done now,” Sam pleaded through tears and now he didn’t care that his voice sounded wrecked and full out sobbing.

“Sorry, Sammy, Disobeying gets you a spanking. Risking your life gets you the belt.”

Sam lets out a loud sob.

He could argue with Dean, beg him, grovel even but there was no way Dean was going to let him out of this. Being raised by Dean, Sam knows him too well, and this, what he’s done was on the too serious side of Dean’s number one rule of raising Sam.

Sam buried his face in the crook of his arm. The belt buckle clinked as Dean reached over and grabbed it off the night stand. Sam didn’t look, but he knew Dean was folding it in half, getting ready to bring it down on Sam like a bolt of lightning. Sam gripped the throw pillows, his breath coming out faster, as he tried to brace himself for the shock of it.

Sam jumped or try to anyway as soon as he felt the leather meet his butt. He tried to refocus, as he was already crying, tears streaming down his face and his nose dripping, but was trying to hold himself together. It was for naught, because Dean did not give him time to compose himself or brace himself. Dean fired them out one by one, fast and quick.

Sam was not bothering to count them. He knew he was going to get ten total; Dean’s standard number when it came to the belt, unless he said otherwise.  _ This sucks. This was the worst spanking he’d gotten in a long time.  _ Sam was full on sobbing now; wailing and hiccupping in between, and he was such a blubbering mess over Dean’s knee that he did not realize when Dean had stopped.

“Ssshhh, it’s all over, clean slate,” Dean comforted his baby brother, rubbing circles on his back.

Dean kept whispering comforting and reassuring words to Sammy.

Sammy continued to sob until it started to taper off to hiccups, then finally to sniffles. He felt so sorry for making Dean worry and scared. But his actions were justified Sam thought. 

He felt Dean pull him up finally, but instead of the hug that should have come next, Dean actually held him up half over his shoulder. Not a full fireman carry, but just to make sure Sam’s butt is not touching anything that could make it hurt more, since it’s been tenderized. 

But why is Dean walking with him? 

Then Dean stops and sets Sam down on his feet. He is facing Dean and he knows he must look like a mess. He feels so vulnerable right now and just wants Dean to hug him like he normally does after a spanking. Instead Dean still looks a bit stern. Sam bites his lower lip.

“10 minutes Sammy,” Dean looks directly into his baby’s eyes as he makes this announcement. 

As he sees realization hit Sam and his lips tremble, he knows his baby wants a hug and forgiveness, but Dean has to see this through or Sammy will not get it. So as much as it pains him to do this, he reaches up and grabs Sammy’s arm and spins him around to face the corner.

Sam was staring at the light blue color of his nursery’s wall and he felt his lower lip start to tremble and another sob escaped him. He didn’t want to be standing here, and he was hurting and feeling like crap. Standing here, naked from the waist down so his red bottom was exposed like that, he truly felt like the naughty child Dean was treating him like. Utter shame filled his chest and he felt two big fat tears roll down his cheek

“I’m…I’m…I’m s-s-sorry D-D-Dean… I-I… d… dd… don’t want to be here,” he sobbed.

“Hush, Sam you have 8 more minutes.”

“B… bb-but I sss… sss… said… I-I-I.. sorry,” Sam manages to get out

“Sammy,” there’s warning in Dean’s voice. 

Sammy bites his lip quickly. He knows he has to stay quiet and think about what he did, but his legs feel tired and trembling standing here and he was starting to get cold. 

Sam felt himself start to sway after several more minutes. He sniffed; he had calmed down a bit from 5 minutes ago. God he hated this. He felt himself sway forward and his forehead rest on the wall. A small pat to his sore rump has him pushing quickly back from the wall. Dean’s warning to him he recalls; just when he thinks he won’t make it...

“Okay, Sammy, time is up,” Dean tells him gently.

Sam knows this is where he has turn around and face Dean. When he does, he sees Dean is sitting in the rocking chair a few paces behind him. He feels his hand clench and unclench inside the baby mitts, making grabby motions. Dean smiles and opens his arms and Sam does not waste a minute more and runs into his big brother comforting hug.

As soon as Sam reaches Dean, Dean stands up and picks up his baby brother, sitting with him back on the rocking chair, adjusting Sam so his butt was between Dean’s legs so as not to add pressure. He leaned back and settled Sam’s head against his chest and started rocking back and forth and he allowed Sam to get all the comfort he wanted.

Sam just clung to his big brother allowing his big brother to hug and soothe him and re-assure him that it’s okay and it’s all over. After what seemed a good long while, Sam was able to calm down. He exhales out and actually twisted himself more into Dean’s chest and close his eyes, giving one last sniffle. Dean may have blazed his ass, but Dean was still home, comfort and warmth.

Dean kept rocking Sam as he felt him completely relax and melt into him. He wanted to stay a bit longer, but knew their day needed to start before Sam falls asleep here. He needs to eat breakfast first. 

Dean gently stood up and carried Sam over to his changing table and lays him down. Sam does not fuss but blinks owlish up at Dean, waiting. Dean was correct Sam was falling asleep, poor kid must be really exhausted after such a long week with the spanking and, it must of just finally caught with him.

“Okay, Sammy, let’s get you dressed and some yummy food in you.”

Sam only blinks up at him in response. Dean pulls out the ointment and applies it to Sammy’s rump to help soothe his red bum so when he puts his diaper on it won’t sting as bad.

Dean squeezed a good amount on his hand and rubbed it together to warm it up a bit so it's not too cold when he applies it on Sammy. As he spreads it all over Sam’s cheeks, his brother whimpers, but Dean coos at him, “It’s all right, baby, this will help soothe the soreness and make it better.”

He finishes and then grabs the diaper and puts it on his baby; it's blue with sailboats on it. Next some ankle white socks, and last blue baby booties to match his baby mitts. 

He sat Sam up and removed the white side snap tee and replaced it with another one. Then he reached in one of the drawers and pulled out one of Sammy’s pacifiers, but it was on a blue satin ribbon, like a necklace. He placed it over Sam’s head.

“There you go, baby. It’s there whenever you need it and you won’t lose it,” Dean smiles at Sam. He steps back and looks at Sam. He looked perfect and adorably cute in just his baby blue diaper, white snap tee and his blue booties and mitts. 

Sam has a lost look on his face and lifts up his arms towards Dean. He doesn’t want to be far from Dean, and he makes a small whimper sound. Dean steps up quickly back to Sam and picks him up.

“Aw hey, hey. What’s wrong, buddy? What’s that about?” Dean muses.

Sam just cuddles closer to Dean and rests his head on his shoulder and sighs in relief. 

Dean can sense Sammy falling in his vulnerable headspace; he rubs Sammy’s back as he walks out of the nursery down the hallway towards the kitchen. He walks over to Sammy’s high chair and tries to put him down in it but Sam holds on tight to him and once again makes small distress sounds. 

Oh okay, now he knows where Sam is at; this is normal even through the years. When Sam is hurting and feeling vulnerable he does not want to be two feet away from Dean. 

Dean sighs. He can do this. He’s learned since he was eight how to walk around with Sam in his arms as he still manages to do breakfast, lunch, dinner or anything else that needed to be done with one arm. And when he needed both, he would piggyback Sam, or slide him down his legs and tell him to hold on to his legs as he washes dishes or fold laundry to put away.

Ah the joys of being Sam’s big brother through the years. Dean at 8, 10, 12, 14, 16 ,18 22, he got really creative of holding Sam and offering comfort while managing to juggle household stuff, research for dad, cleaning the weapons and anything else that needed attending.

Of course his creativity in comforting a Sasquatch after he’d gotten Sam back from Stanford was really tested. It had been 6 months and counting and Dean had known it would happen. Too little sleep, barely eating, Sam going on all emotional fuel reserves for Jess’s death, he finally got sick and not a little sick, nope Sammy had to do the whole fever, Chills, body aches, can’t breathe cause my lungs are congested as well as my nose sick. That had been an eye opening for Dean, thinking Sam would never let himself be babied like he had before Stanford ...

Having a twenty-two year old 6’4 baby brother actually look like he was four all over again; holding on tight, pleading through tears not to be left alone in the motel room while Dean ran to the store to get supplies, was a shock and a comfort to Dean. Little brother was really not that different. He had stayed close by Sam while he rested the whole week and then at the end of that week, one morning he awoke to hear the shower and quickly got up fast and headed to the bathroom and walked in without knocking as he called out, “Sammy?”

And Sam had quickly looked out the shower curtain and look pissed, “WHAT THE HELL DEAN!!”

Dean had stuttered in his step and looked puzzle at Sam; okay this did not look like the kid brother who snuggled next to him last night as they watched a movie and ate popcorn and nachos on the couch (Sam was on the mend) and then in bed when it was time to sleep.

“Are you feeling all right, Sammy?”

For one brief minute there was an emotion (Loss? Need?) that crossed Sam’s face but was gone and replaced with confusion and then he rolled his eyes.

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

Dean’s eyebrows rose at that question. “Uh, high fever for three days and weak for five days ring a bell?”

“Jesus, Dean, you act like no one’s ever had to suffer through the flu before.”

“Not the way you were acting,” Dean answers and watches Sam’s reaction. 

Sam just stares even more confused. “What?” he questions, brows knitted.

“I uh… you were uh… you know what never mind.” Dean scratches the back of his neck and walks out the bathroom and into the room, feeling lost and baffled at what just happened. 

He looks around the room and sees a lot of stuff he bought for this week. If the evidence was not staring him in the face, he probably would have thought he dreamt the whole damn week with his little brother, well, acting like his little brother.

“I, uh, Dean?” he heard Sam call him back to the bathroom. 

This time more hesitant, Dean opens the door. Sam’s head was sticking out of the shower curtain but looking down and Dean knew that expression of guilt. But before he could say anything Sam looked up again and spoke.

“I, uh, left my bag of toiletries outside. Can you get it for me and leave it out on the sink? I should be done in 30 minutes.” Sammy has this look on his face as he said all of this… and then it clicks in Dean’s brain and his whole confused look disappears and he puts on his straight face and shrugs.

“Sure thing, Sam.” He walks out and grabs Sam’s see through bag of toothpaste kit and shaving kit and places it on the sink in the bathroom. 

Dean walks back out and looks at the motel room one more time, sighs, and grabs a trash bag from the side of his bed and starts to clean and throw away stuff. He pauses and holds on to the stuff wolf pup and sighs, he puts it down and begins to grab everything else and throw it away.

By the time Sam comes out of the bathroom in a cloud of steam and dressed, Dean is lying on his bed watching TV and the room is spotless. Dean notices the flicker in Sam’s eyes but ignores it as he knows he’s supposed to.

“There’s a bagel and one of those girly coffee drinks you like so much for you there and then we are out of here,” Dean tells Sam and then he sees Sam’s shoulders relax.

“Thanks Dean. And bite me, not my fault you like to drink bitter black coffee with no flavor or character or enjoy a good shot of expresso to the system.”

“I so do know the difference between a good shot of expresso and coffee, its call an Americano when I need the 5 shots espresso rush of good old black and hot water mix versus all the freaking 2%, whipping cream and vanilla or caramel drinks you drink,” Dean counters.

Sammy bitch faces him and that’s it; they are back to normal brothers bantering.

This would set up the stage for later in the future for when Sam would get sick, injured or have nightmares. These were the times Sam would regress and just cuddle next to Dean or whine or cry or just anything Sammy needed. Then when he was 100% better it was never mentioned the next day as though it did not happen. Sam was happy with this arrangement as was Dean … 

Dean shakes his head from those first memories of Sam and him back together again hunting. He walks over to the fridge and pulls out a sealed plastic Tupperware bowl of oatmeal pre-made. He walks over to the cabinets and pulls out a small saucepan to heat up the oatmeal.

Sam has his head resting on Dean’s shoulder, turned away from the stove and actually sucking on his pacifier thinking, also wondering when did he voluntarily put the damn thing in his mouth. He remembers leaving the room with Dean, must have been when they were walking down the hallway to the kitchen. He felt fuzzy, confused and relaxed at the same time. He really is beginning to wonder what is going on with himself. 

He won’t admit out loud but he actually likes being in Dean’s arms; it’s been so long since he felt safe and protected in the life they lead. It used be easier when he was younger. Before hunting it seemed okay to get big bear hugs from both Winchester men, before he found out about hunting. It was the norm to climb in Dean’s or even his dad’s arms, to watch TV, eat or Sleep.

Until one day it wasn’t. He was twelve and the memory still stung. It was the time Dean went missing and Dad had dropped him off at Bobby’s for two weeks. Then his dad picked him up and it would be one month and a half later until he saw Dean again. That had hurt like he could not breathe until he saw Dean again. 

Especially because Dad did not know all of Sam’s quirks; which would end up in tantrums and tears and on more than one occasion John storming out the room, leaving a sobbing little boy on the motel carpeted floor. Then he come back after midnight, pick Sam up off the floor and put him to bed always whispering an apology to Sam. 

That was one of Sammy’s first dark times what life would be without Dean. It would also change him. He learned not to be so affectionate (i.e. hugs, cuddles, and clingy) with Dean and John because he’d never knew if it would be taken away again …

He was jostled from his thoughts when he felt Dean again trying to put him down in his chair. He scrambled fast and wrapped his arms tight around his brother’s neck.

“Hey, Sammy, what’s going on bud?”

For the first time Sam can’t explain it. He just doesn’t want to be put down or let go of Dean.

“P’ease D’n, no down,” Sam whispers around the pacifier, holding tight to Dean.

“Sammy, you gotta sit, so you can eat,” Dean gently tells Sam. His baby just turns his head into Dean’s neck and sniffles. Dean sighs. “Okay, baby, don’t worry I got ya.” 

Dean looks around the kitchen and decides the den will be a better place to do this. He walks over to the sink and reaches into one of the cupboards to the right and pulls out a tray. Placing Sammy’s breakfast on it, he picks it up with one hand as he still holds Sammy on his other side and walks out to the den. He sees one of the leather arm chairs and next to it a corner lamp table, he grabs it with his right foot by hooking it around the leg as he sits down with Sam. Placing Sam on his left side, he places the tray down on the table.

He arranges Sam on his lap. “Look at what I made for you” 

Sam looks over and sees the oatmeal and sees the bananas and strawberries sliced up inside with some honey drizzled light over it, like he likes to eat it. Next to it there’s some cinnamon toast and his juice.

Sam is hungry. He reaches over to his food and sees his hands and holds them out to Dean. He makes a sound to Dean “Uuhhh” he says around his pacifier.

Dean understands that Sammy is saying help. He smiles warmly at him and reaches out on the tray and picks up a folded baby bib and places it around Sammy. Sam just blinks at him as he does it. Dean then picks up the spoon and dips in the Oatmeal and brings up the spoonful of oatmeal to Sammy’s mouth.

Sam frowns and shakes his head, reaches with one covered baby mitt hand towards the spoon. “Me,” he manages to say around the pacifier. 

“No, Sammy, sorry this is still part of your punishment, the use of your hands will be a privilege earned. You’ve proved you cannot be trusted. Now open up.“

Sam whimpers his distress to Dean and shakes his head again.

“Sammy,” Dean sighs, “It isn’t permanent. Just until you’ve learned, okay baby. I know this hard, but please try.”

Sam looks at Dean with glazed eyes but nods and opens his mouth and drops the pacifier, and in goes the oatmeal. “That’s my good baby,” Dean encourages.

Something warms inside Sam at the endearment and praise.

“Here comes some more.” Dean scoops another mouthful to Sammy and this time Sammy is completely receptive and feels happy for the moment. 

The oatmeal with fruit and honey is delicious and he reaches over for the sippy cup and almost knocks it over with his clumsy hands, forgetting that he can’t grasp anything yet with the mits.

Dean automatically is able to catch the cup as he leans forward, dropping the bowl swiftly on the tray, not missing a beat. Whoa. Sam always knows Dean had fast reflexes, but this one takes the cake. He doesn’t know why but he breaks out into a grin and a small giggle escapes.

“Oh you think that’s funny, huh, baby,” Dean smiles up at Sam. 

Sammy just grins bigger and wants Dean to do it again, so when Dean places the cup back on the tray, somehow Sam manages to knock it down while Dean looked away to pick up the bowl.

“Sammy!” Dean calls out as he once again lunges for the cup, this time Sam does giggle out loud and grins big.

As Dean catches the cup again, he smiles knowingly, as he sits back and he pretends to place the cup on the tray and… “Whoops, Whoops” he pretends to misplace the cup as it falls and Dean pretend to juggle the cup with one hand  up in the air and down it comes and catches it perfectly, not a spill (thank god its a spill proof lid)

Sam can’t help it and finally lets out a loud laugh with a clap of his hands at his big brother’s funny antics and amazing feat. He gleefully claps and in the middle of his saying  “again” his brain caught up with him and realizes what he was doing and what he looks like.

Sam dropped his hands to his side and drop his head. Meanwhile Dean was smiling big time and fondly at his baby brother, loving how easily Sammy can relax and enjoy and remember his younger side and embrace it. But of course it only lasted 5 minutes and once again Sam refuses to accept his situation or more like embarrassed that he actually liked it.

Dean lets out a loud breath. “What wrong, Sammy?”

Sam just shrugs his shoulders and points to his cup again and his hands, kind of indicating how is he supposed to hold his cup if he’s wearing these blasted things.

Dean grabs the cup, holds it over to Sammy’s hands and grabs one hand first and slips through one of the hand holder and does the same with the other hand.

“There you go, buddy, not so hard right?”

Sam looks at the sippy cup between his hands and pulls it up towards his face, carefully tilting it forward and slips in the rubber part in his mouth, closes his lip arounds and sucks in some juice. Cranberry. Sam smiles at the flavor

“Thank you,” Sam softly tells Dean. He then points to the toast, “Toast please” 

Dean picked up the toast and raised it to Sam and Sam leans in and takes a bite. They continue this way until Sammy finished his breakfast. Dean stands with Sam in his arms but turns around and sits him down on the chair they both were sharing.

“Will you be alright while I clean-up?” Dean asked

Sam drops his head and nods.  _ Of course he’ll be all right _ , he thinks exasperatedly.

Dean gets up with the dirty dishes and walks over to the sink. He picks up a clean towel and runs it under some hot water, then he wrings it until is just damp and feels the towel temp is only warm, not hot.

He walks back to Sammy and washes his face. Sam scrounges at the warm towel being passed over his whole face. God he hated that since as far back as he can remember. He may be a geek or OCD control issue, but Dean was always the germaphobe. Correction, he was a selective germaphobe; different sex partners in every town they stayed (eww), that should have freaked Dean out a bit, the greasy diners they ate or fleabag motels they slept in… okay maybe he does actually recall Dean stripping down the motels when he was younger making sure Sam had a clean, germ free rooms where he won’t get an allergy attack or a bacterial infection crawling on the floor.

Actually Dean did keep that up until Sam turned eighteen. It was part of that military upbringing they had because of Dad’s marine background. A soldier always kept his area clean and organized, that way he can get to his weapons easily. Then he guesses Dean went through some different changes after Sam left for college

Because when Dean came back into his life, he was still organized a bit, but in what made sense to Dean, not in that precise strict order mental mind set their dad had… geeze he’s not one to judge, Sam can be just as bad or actually worse… 

Sam shudders, remembering what he was like after Broward County when Dean had died multiple times and then finally Gabriel - aka the trickster - let them out of the loop, but Dean still ended up dying permanently and Sam became obsessed like their dad. No, he takes that back, he became worse than John Winchester and believe it or not that says a lot on his psyche…

The precision, the cold calculating analytical killer, when he was Soulless, he shudders at the memory, knowing in his mind that even though Dean repeatedly tells him it was not him. Sam’s smart enough to figure ‘no it’s not him but it’s what he or Dean can become without the other one present in their life, yup they keep each other human.

This thought gives Sam pause... They keep each other human… He looks around the den he is sitting in and sees all the comfortable cozy things Dean has added to the bunker; the domestic life Sam has always craved and Dean too. Well, Dean craved it a bit, he loved hunting way more, but if he ever did want domesticity, he’d always wanted Sam in it with him. 

Sam sighs and tries to run his hand over his hair and remembers the baby mitts on his hands. He pulls his hand back to him and holds them in front of him; he wants to really pinch the edge of his nose in frustration, but he can’t. He put his hands on the arms of the chair and slides himself forward and stands up. He wobbles a bit, but holds still. He sighs in relief and is about to take a step forward, but hesitates and thinks,  _ Dean didn’t tell me to stay put in the chair, just asked if I’d be okay.  _

So this can’t constitute as being (he gulps) naughty behavior? He rubs his covered hand over his face and shakes his head. God damn it Dean has his mind and emotions so screwed up he’s now actually debating his behavior and choices. He takes a deep breath and lets it out, and then tentatively takes a step forward. There, his inner child is neither protesting nor feeling hesitant in getting in trouble.

Is he really going to rely on that? Is he really having this conversation with himself mentally? Yeah, yeah apparently he is. He walks around the den looking at stuff he never dreamt of being there. 

He squats down to see the railroad tracks and train set that is set up with green hills and towns. As he squats he grimaces at the sound of the diaper crinkling and looks down at it. He wishes he was wearing anything to cover it up so he does not have to see it. He reaches with his covered hand and pushes at the material, it’s not really uncomfortable, it’s just mentally uncomfortable. Physically it's soft and…and actually snug and fit…and…well, if he was being honest… wait, wait, wait! 

Was he about to agree this felt nice?

He pushes back from his squat position and landed on his butt, this….this feels all wrong and right at the same time; is this what Crowley meant- giving in and actually enjoying it? 

Sam swallows and looks around again. 

He saw the large octagon play pen in the corner and rather than stand up, Sam crawled over to it and looks inside. There was colorful blue patterned comforter folded and tucked in one corner while there were plush toys strewn about with foam blocks and a coloring book of animals in the forest.

He was kneeling up looking over the rail of the playpen; Sam huffed and sat back down on his bum. Is he really expected to use all this stuff? It’s not even mind challenging or entertaining, well for him at least… Sam gets a flash of yesterday; he sees himself  playing with Dean on the bunker floor with a red ball, then Dean building two tunnels with the blocks and racing the blue and green cars down both tunnels and seeing who’s made it out the tunnel first. He hears laughter and giggles… he shakes the image from his head….

“Did Dean and I really play all evening yesterday?” Sam has a look of confusion on his face and looks back to the stuff in the playpen and leans in a bit at the soft nylon grate. 

Trying to recall last night's memories. Now that he thinks about it, he doesn’t remember when they got back to the bunker? He remembers the gas station, being mad at Dean and then… falling asleep? Did Dean wake him up when they got back?

As he tries to recall, something happens; simultaneous feelings flood him and flashes of memories. He inhales sharply… he can see and feel himself giggling and really having a good time with Dean, and not being hampered down by heavy burdens, like fears, anxiety, worries, demons of his past… just immense joy of being with Dean and that childlike trust and awe of his big brother. 

He has not felt this since, well since before he left for Stanford and also when he found out about monsters being real. He still believed Dean every single time he told Sam “Not to worry” or “You’re Okay” or “We’ll fix it” and the most famous “You’re safe, I gotcha” 

Even now when things get bad he can still believe if anyone can fix it, it’s Dean. Not so much as that child-like innocence that actually believe Dean can magically fix anything, but more in a realistic way; that Dean will try his damndest, especially when it concerns one little brother’s belief.

Sam sighs and then his eyes land on the stupid stuffed dog Dean had managed to replicate from his childhood. Well maybe now Dean can magically fix anything, that doesn’t make it right. Sam bites his lower lip and finally leans over the top rail to reach for the dog, at the exact moment his big brother decides to walk in…

“Aww, does someone want to play with his toys” Dean strolls back into the den from the foyer of the library entrance. 

Sam whips his head over and blushes red. “No,” he mumbles embarrassed at being caught

“Come on, buddy, I know you want to play with Flops and Mr. Toad. Remember we promised them a ride on the train?” Dean walked over to the playpen and reached in and pulled out his stuff dog and a green frog. He handed Sammy his stuffed dog and walked over to the train set and sat down on the floor and put the frog on one of the hills. “Come on, Sammy,” Dean looks at Sam. 

Sam is still sitting next to the pen. He looks reluctantly at Dean and bites his lips….three weeks he thinks… I can do this, just bide my time and pretend. Sam leans forward and starts to crawl over to Dean. He sees Dean smiling really big and wonders why when it hits Sam what’s he doing and stops.

Sam blushed knowing what he looked like just now. He wants to stand up, but knows it's pointless now since if he stood it will only take two steps for him to reach the trainset and then re-sit down again. He takes a deep breath and resumes his crawling towards Dean with Flops in one hand (Go figure how he was able to grip on to the stuff dog with mitts on).

He reaches Dean in the last few crawls and sits cross legged, putting the damn dog in his lap.  _ So now what? _ Sam thinks. He watches Dean smile at him and reaches over to a box and turns on the switch. Sam watches as the train starts to move slow and pick up speed and actually see smoke coming up through the train’s chimney smoke stack!

Sam’s nonstop curious mind ever working wonders, how is it doing that? What are the mechanics behind it working as a real train? He knows it's a model train for fun, but in reality he’s never seen one up close. His curiosity has been piqued and he reaches down as it comes around a second turn.

“Sammy, wait!” Dean calls a second too late as Sam manages to pick up the train with his covered hands. 

Wheels still spinning, and though the engine is hot - not enough to cause damage - it does surprise Sam making him move his hand, and that’s when it happens, the mits get caught on the wheels and pulls it inward; catching his pinkie and ring finger and they get pinched between the rotating train tires and axel.

Sam hisses and tries to drop the train; making the weight pinching it more, causing Sammy to want to fling the damn train, but can’t do so. Without thinking he lets out a wail. 

Dean immediately jumps over to Sam, but simultaneously hits the off switch on the black box next to him. He grabs Sammy’s hand and holds his baby’s arms still because Sam is still jerking his arm to get away from the pain. 

“Hold still, Sammy.” Dean’s soothing commanding voice grounds him but he is still sniffling and whimpering as Dean holds his arm and cradles his hand and little by little removes the mit and pulls the trains tires apart to release the mit with fingers.

As soon as he feels the pinched sensation stop, Sam quickly pulls his hand to himself and close to his chest. He does not know why, he just lets two tears trail down his face. It did not hurt that bad, it's just shook him up. But for some strange reason he wants to cry as if this is the worst pain he’d experienced?

“Hey there, bud, let me see.” Sam shakes his head holding his hand close. “Come on, Sammy, it’s okay, I’m going to make the pain stop, okay baby?” Dean coaxes

Sammy looks ups with tear filled eyes to Dean and slowly pulls his hand away from his chest and reaches for Dean. Dean grabs his hand gently and sees where its red and bruising with a slight tinge of blue starting to show.

“See it’s not so bad.” He pulls Sam’s hand to his lips and he kisses Sammy’s bruised fingers. Sam doesn’t see how it helps but it does and it makes a warm feeling grow bigger inside him.  He gives Dean a half smile “Better?” Dean asked.

“Much, thank you,” Sam softly tells his brother. 

Dean smiles fondly at his little brother. “Let’s put some ice on it for the bruising and we can watch some TV.” Dean didn’t wait for Sammy’s response, just stood up and picked up Sam.

Sam automatically wraps his arms and legs around Dean and put his head on his shoulder as they walk towards the kitchen. Dean pulls out an icepack and wraps it in a towel and walks out to the living room area.

Dean sits Sammy down on the long couch and sits right next to him; he pulls Sam against him and places the ice pack on Sam’s fingers. Then, he reaches for the TV remote next to him.

“Let's see what’s playing on TV,” he skims through the cable channels to where he wants and brows furrow in confusion when he sees the guide list Dean is on, ‘Disney Toon, Nickelodeon kids, cartoon channel and other educational kids show like ‘Sprout’? 

Sam sits up away from Dean. “Why don’t you just click on Netflix and watch the shows we left off on?”

“It’s not age appropriate for you, but I’m pretty sure they have some Disney and Pixar movie on there too if you like?

“Age appropriate? Did you forget I was 7 and when we watched ‘IT’”

“Yeah I recall and watch this…” Dean picks up the remote and clicks. “Look, Sammy”

Sam turns his head and quickly back pedals into Dean and grabs on tight to his shirt as he slams his face into the crook of his neck. “CHANGE THE CHANNEL, DEAN!!” Sam tries to muffle his yell. 

Dean’s head is tilted to the side and looks at the cartoon clown character that are drawn kid friendly, not scary looking at all “Jo Jo’s” circus is on.

“You were saying?”

“Not funny, Dean! Did you change it?” Sam asked cautiously

“Yeah, Sammy, I did,” Dean’s voice sounding a little amused.

Sam carefully turns his face to the TV and saw it was some other kid show. He realizes he was clinging on to Dean and let go and huffed out. “That was low, Dean, and mean,” he glares at Dean

“I was trying to prove a point,” Dean calmly explains

“You know I have coulrophobia. That’s not proving a point! No thanks to you and Dad! And beside I already had an innate fear of them before seeing the movie, the movie just confirmed my fears to be true,” Sam gripes to Dean.

“Which is why we are seeing more appropriate television shows.”

“I don’t have an innate fear of swords, guns or blood, Dean!”

“Sammy, there are several pre-approved channels you can select from. I know you like discovery and national geographic documentary too.”

“Fine, since we are discussing fears, I guess you’re never going on a plane or near them ever again!” Sam angrily threw out.

“Don’t have to,” Dean replied calmly, shrugging his shoulders.

“Yeah right. What are you going to do if we need to board one again for a case?”

“Number one, there aren’t going to be any cases for you in the near future. And number two, did you forget I can do this now?”

One moment Dean was standing in front of Sam the next he was gone. Sam swishes his head back and forth, looking all-round the den he was sitting in.

“Dean?” he calls out tentatively.

“Right here,” Dean replies two minutes later after he left, holding a white shiny cellophane bag and looks like he was munching on something.

“Where you’d go?”

“Sweden”

“What?!”

“You wanted to know how I get around should I need to get to somewhere not in the states by driving,” Dean smiled

Sam look dumbfounded at Dean. “You went to Sweden in 2 minutes?”

“Yeah, this beats flying,” Dean smiled big time. “Brought you back some sweets too.” Dean reaches over and hands the cellophane bag to Sam. “But not all of it just a few Sammy.” 

“What are these?”

“Uh, I think the seller said something called ‘SkumKantereller and Surskumfisk’.”

For the first time Sam was confused and perplexed at the words coming out of Dean’s mouth.

“Skunk and what now?” Sam face scrounged in adorable confusion.

“SkumKantereller and, you know what never mind. Basically the first one is kind of like a marshmallow but sweeter and chewier and the second by the shape of it ,Swedish fish. But dude not the kind we think here in the States, but their actual take on the Swedish fish gummy candy. But their texture is like sour marshmallows too,” Dean explains

“When did you learn to speak/pronounce Swedish correctly?”

“Dude, are you kidding… Swedish, hello?” Dean gives his little brother a knowing look. 

Sam looks confused still until the light bulb goes off. Of course. Sam bitch faced him and rolled his eyes. Blond, blue eyes and buxom, and Dean will learn the entire Dewey decimal system in binary code.

“Hey, look at that, we can watch that together,” Dean startles Sam from his thoughts.

He turns around and sees what’s Dean looking at and sees the movie he’s clicked on. “Really Dean, you want to watch that?” Sam asked skeptically. 

“Why not? It’s about siblings too and that chick Elsa is hot,” Dean finishes “What do you say?”

Sam looks at the screen. It did catch his interest back when it first came out, but he never would have asked Dean or gone himself, too afraid of being made fun of.

Sam smiled. This was the side of his brother he did miss when he was younger. Dean would put up with anything Sam wanted to watch or do and there was never any repercussion or teasing and if there was, it was always with a light-heart and fondness from Dean.

“Yeah ‘Frozen’ sounds good.” 

“Okay, baby, ‘Frozen’ it is.” Dean clicks on play, but then stands up.

“Where you going?” 

“Kitchen. Just thought popcorn would be good with the sweets we got. And there is about 15 minutes of previews, so enough time before the movie starts.”

“Wouldn’t it be easier if you just pop a bowl of popcorn? Like you did the candy.”

“Dude, where’s the fun in that? Melting the butter and sprinkling it over, plus I like to add Parmesan and garlic.”

“Oh yeah, I keep forgetting you’re Mr. Chef now.”

“Dude, you like my cooking.”

“Not complaining here,” Sam jokes

“Be right back,” Dean walks away and then calls back, “and don’t finish all those Swedish candy.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Sam yells right back and settles back onto the couch. He reaches in the bag and pops a few of the gummy fish things in his mouth, and smiles big; these are awesome and grabs another handful.

As Sam waits for Dean he is watching the previews, happily munching and savoring the Swedish candy, when he hears it, a slight muffled ringing sound. He quickly lowers the volume down and sits up. He hears it again and quickly gets up and looks for the sound, and sees it coming from Dean’s desk over by the corner. Without thinking, he walks right over and starts to pull the little drawers until he opens the last one towards the bottom.

He scrabbles toward his cellphone he recognizes and its ringing, he looked at the caller ID and sees the name. He bites his lips and quickly looks towards the entrance that start toward the kitchen. He swallows quickly and walks a little further in the library area keeping his eyes towards the den..

As it begins to ring again in his hand he is glad Dean had left the mit off his injured hand. He quickly slides his finger across to answer.

“Charlie?”

“SAM! OMG! You’re not dead!”

“What! What would make you think that?”

“Hello, ‘Book of the Damned’, ring a bell- That psycho family Hunting us?!”

“Wait, what?! We took care of them back a month ago.”

“No, Sam. “We took care of a small part of what is clearly a giant dynasty in a small town they rule and control and let me tell you Papa Styne is not happy to hear his son and two nephews have gone missing. We are so dead.”

“Papa Styne? Wait, you said a whole family?! Charlie, what’s wrong? What aren’t you telling me?”

“Those three goons we took out with Cas’ help were only a small deploy team. There’s more of them Sam. A whole family! Not just parents and siblings but uncles, aunts cousins, grandkids, you name it. A whole freaking family tree of those mutant freaks!!!” Charlie squeaks. 

“What’s worse I’m being followed again by two new characters. I have not slept for two days in trying to stay one day ahead of them and I have been trying to call you since yesterday now that I have a clear signal.”

“Okay, okay calm down, uh, look I think you need to call Castiel.”

“How’s he going to help? Isn’t his mojo low right now?”

“Newsflash, he is full-on grace power now.”

“Whoa, what I’d miss?”

“A lot. And then some more than a lot.” Sam burns bright red, as he so does not want to disclose what is happening to him and Dean right now.

“Okay, Samantha, what are you hiding?“ Sam glares at the phone, he so hates that Dean shared that nickname with Charlie.

“Nothing important. Right now you need to get that book back here…” Sam pauses, no she can’t come here with the book, he could kiss goodbye to the one sure fire way to remove the Mark from Dean.

“Charlie, hear me out before you, freak out. I am going to send you Crowley’s contact and you are to call him and ask for a quid pro quo help.”

“WHAT! Are you outta of your mind!” 

Sam held the phone from his ear and looked quickly to the door. “Look, Charlie, I don’t have a lot of time here.” 

“Sam, what’s wrong?”

“I’m with Dean”

“Wait Dean, Dean?! As in Knight of Hell Dean? Not our Dean, but that thing he’s changed into? That Dean?!””

“Yes and no, and he’s not a thing, Charlie. He is Dean. But you are right, he’s changed, but not in bad way or depends on how you see it,” Sam muttered the last part.

“Sam, I am not sure I am liking where this is going. Why don’t I just call Cas and give him the book and have him give me witness protection?”

“Look, you call Cas and we can kiss saving Dean goodbye.”

“What! Why?”

“Because he’s in with Dean right now. Anything comes his way he’ll inform Dean!”

“What happened to ‘Team Free Dean’?”

“Look, Charlie, a lot's happened since last we spoke. You need to trust me on this next move,” Sam urgently whispers as he looks towards the door.

“All right, Sam, tell me what to do.”

Sam sighs in relief. “Okay you will call Crowley and tell him about the Styne family and what you have. I know Crowley, he is going to want that book. I could care less about the rest of the pages, we just need that spell you decoded back about getting a phone line into the cage. In return for the book you’ll ask for protection from this family or at least keep you off the radar from them.”

“You want Crowley to have the book?! There could be ways to destroy the world in there or remake it in his own way!”

“Look one thing at a time! First Dean, then after we will worry about Crowley and then take care of that problem when it arises.”

“Gee, Sam, I don’t know,” Charlie hesitates.

“Please, Charlie!”

“All right, okay.”

“Remember to listen to all that he talks about. Keep your ears listening for anything he might try to screw with you.”

“I know. I know the game. I read all the books on how you guys dealt with him and then some.”

“Just tell him I told you to call him and to remember King Solomon.”

“What?”

“Just tell him that part. He’ll know what that means. Just make it simple with no way for him to go around this Deal; you will hand over the book for 100% protection from the Styne family. He is to keep you safe until all this is over.”

“Keep who safe until what’s all over?” Dean voice rumbles next to Sam.

Sam whips his head around fast and sees Dean standing right next to him, bowl of popcorn in one hand and his other hand outstretched, silently asking for the cell phone. Sam takes two steps back away from Dean. 

Dean frowns at him at the same time they hear Charlie’s voice in panic coming through the cell phone loud and clear. Dean eyes go surprised as he looks at Sam.

“Charlie?” Dean asked he reaches and takes the phone from Sam as he places the receiver to his ear. 

Charlie gives a squeak. “Sam, I gotta go. I think I see one of those scary creepy mutant freaks entering the restaurant I’m in… I’ll contact you my next coordination. Catch ya later, bro.”

Charlie hung up and Dean turns toward Sam, eyebrows raised in question. “You want to tell me what that was about?”

“Not particularly,” Sam meekly said.

“Sam.”

Sam winced at the warning in Dean’s voice, “I, uh, well, you see, about three months ago Charlie and I ran into a bit a trouble.”

Dean crossed his arms and waited for Sam to continue, when Sam didn’t Dean prompted, “And?” 

“Well that’s pretty much it. We ran into trouble and we handled it,” Sam finished

“Well apparently not if what I heard correctly from Charlie before she hung up.”

Icy chill spread in Sam stomach. “What did she say?”

“She needed to run out the place she was at. Why would Charlie need to run, Sam?” Dean’s voice was calm.

Sam was panicking. “Oh no, they must of tracked her to where she is. We gotta find her now Dean.”

“What’s going on, Sam? And when did Charlie get back from OZ?”

“About 4 month ago Charlie came back from OZ and she had a bad situation. Fast version... she was split in two with some magic by a bad wizard; Good Charlie and Bad Charlie. Don’t ask,” he adds quickly when Dean raises an eyebrow. “Suffice to say Cas, Hannah and I took care of that quickly - smite the bad guys, re-merge Charlie together. After we came back and she spend the night here at the bunker with me and Cas. We caught her up on what was going on with us, she wanted to help out with our problem, removing the Mark of Cain. After more research in really old books, she found a mention of something call the ‘Book of the Damned’, but the Men of Letters didn’t have much on that subject. Only that it was last seen in Eastern Europe and they began to think it was a myth or permanently lost.” 

Sam was walking as he was talking and going to the book shelves and pulled out marked books, placing them on the table. He inspected one, then another, then he quickly opens the third book.

“There see,” Sam pointed to a page and Dean walked over and glanced briefly at the page, but he got the gist of it.

“So she was going to go to Germany at first, because she noticed a pattern in the sightings, and then I saw it. We decided to go together but then split in Spain. She went to Slovenia and I went to Italy. We both had a hunch to figure out.”

“You went to Europe? And split from Charlie, why?”

“As I said, we both had a hunch to play, Dean.” Sam hoped it was enough; he was not about to inform Dean he was almost buried alive in one of the catacombs in Italy close to the Vatican.

“What sort of hunch?”

“Charlie and I both thought the book was either in Austria or Italy because there were two sightings”, Sam easily lied at least it was partial true. “We didn’t want to take too much time going first to one place and then the next place, so we split up. She went to Austria and followed a trail to Slovenia and then I lost sight of her. Until she called; she was in Russia. I met up with her because someone was following her. These three guys I thought at first were just normal humans, but god they were more than that.”

“Geeze Dean, you should have seen these guys; built, like really built and the coldest calculating eyes I ever seen. And no matter how many times Charlie and I shot at them they kept coming.” Sam shivered as his voice shook as he recalls that night close to train station in Russia. “The last possible second we ditched them at Moscow train station, we jump onto a passing train, right before they caught up with us.”

“They were some kind of new monster? Dean questioned.

“Yeah, you could say that. They were monsters all right. But they were human, just,“ Sam chuckle darkly, “scientist monsters playing God.”

Dean’s anger rose inside him as he heard all this, wishing he’d been there to protect his little brother from what clearly sounded to Dean were assholes with power.

‘So what happened next?”

“Well we, uh, got away and yeah so we had the book but it was in some weird very old Sumerian lost dialect. We could not decipher it. Charlie tried with all type of cross-reference with her laptop and so did I. We decided to see if we could at least create a codex to help decipher the language.”

“Wait, so you flew out of Moscow and came home directly? What happened to the guys that were following you and Charlie?”

‘Well we eventually flew out of a less populated Russian airport about three days later.”

“Why three days?”

“Uh, when we jumped, I sort of lost my wallet and backpack. So it took me and Charlie together enough cash to buy one flight ticket out of there. Charlie had her ticket, but I need a new passport and ticket.”

Dean could feel the slow simmering anger fill him up. “So you found a way to hustle pool or card games in Russia?!”

“No, Dean, I’m not stupid. I know it’s only Sharks and crime bosses in those places. Beside I wouldn’t know how to play their card games.”

“Then how did you?”

“Frank, remember?”

“What about him?”

“He knew how to easily hack into computer systems (remembering dean hacking into the city security cameras-back then), he left you a memory stick with how do that and you and Charlie decoded it?”

“Charlie created this slim card that could make ATM Spit money out as much we wanted”

“YOU ROBBED AN ATM BANK in MOSCOW, RUSSIA!” Dean lost it.

Sam jumped back as Dean took two steps forward and Sam hastily explained, “No, Dean. We found small ATM’s at small venues, tourist attractions and bars. So it took 4 ATMs to get the equivalent of 15,000 dollars, so we could stay one night at a hotel, ‘cause man we reeked and then Charlie contacted someone in her geek kingdom while we ate there to find a legitimate person to get a fake passport.”

“He met us at the hotel bar we were staying at and within twenty-four hours I had a new passport and Plane ticket and we were out of there.”

“But …?” Dean raised his eyebrows.

Damn. Sam knew Dean would pick up on there being more to the story. And he knows his brother is so not going to like this part. He started to fiddle with the hem of his baby snap tee with his free hand.

“But, um well like I said earlier Charlie and I handled the rest, with Cas’s help,” Sam looks away.

“Sammy, what happened?”

Sam faced Dean again with a frown. “What do you want me to tell you? They followed us back to the States and found us.”

“And how did they manage to find you if you guys made it back to the bunker, safest place on earth?”

Sam actually bitch faced Dean. “Weren’t you listening? I dropped my wallet at the train station where they were hunting us?” Sam gives Dean a “duh’ look.

“Sammy, tell me you didn’t actually have your real name on any identification?”

Sam looked sheepish at Dean. “I needed to get an actual passport Dean and my real name on the paperwork was needed to match my birth certificate.” 

Dean closed his eyes and asked for patience. “Okay, makes sense. Why didn’t you generate new IDs with Charlie’s help?”

“Because we were on a time crunch and we wanted to make sure we did not get into any problems trying to fly out of the States to find the book.”

“Okay, I get that. But you had to have used one of the different mailing addresses, so how could they possibly find you?”

“Because I used the mailbox address in this town that we had set up... and it gets worse,” Sam mumbles.

Dean’s eyes are closed again shaking his head back and forth. “How much worse?”

“I, uh, had the Bunker Key in the wallet too,” Sam barely manages to get out, twisting more of his hem.

‘You what?!” Dean looks incredulous to Sam.

“I Know… I’m sorry, Dean.”

“How were they able to track you down with just the key? The Bunker is clearly hidden and off the radar/map. It’s not like the key has the bunker address or location on it.”

“Well, that’s all they needed to use with this,” Sam walked over again to Dean’s desk and pulled open the small drawer, top right and pulled out something, he held it out to Dean. 

Dean walked over and took it and looked at the metal bronze circular object with some kind of family crest on it and hit the switch on the side and it flicked open.

“It’s a compass?” Dean look confused.    

“Yup, that’s what I thought at first too, but, thank god that asshole ‘Jacob Styne’ likes to talk a lot and is very arrogant.”

“So what is it?”

“It’s a compass all right, but it actually basically tracks supernatural things. They had this to follow the book we had. But once Styne found the key and researched, he realized he has the key to the bunker of the Men of letters, so quick incantation and presto he could find the bunker and he snuck in while Charlie and I were still here.” Sam looks away as he is remembering. “That’s another reason you found the bunker in disarray, there was a battle.” Sam looks back at Dean and swallows. “It was bad Dean. 

“The only thing in our favor is that Charlie and I knew pretty much the layout of the bunker; halls connecting to other walkways, hidden walls and doors to lose them. Eventually we had enough time to call Cas, he was an hour away, we thought we could at least run and try to exit another way. Until Cas could make it to us. But we were caught finally in the garage… they hurt Charlie because we would not tell them where the book was and right before the final strike, Cas was standing behind the goon holding Charlie by her hair and driving an angel blade through his chest. He dropped Charlie and he staggered a bit but then he looked up and smiled with full bloodied teeth ready to attack Castiel. But then Cas had this look like he understood something. He stepped back and another blade drop from his arm and he drove it in the other side of his chest.”

“The other two guys that were with him actually roared in anger. Cas had figured it out what made them, I guess, immortal. Two of everything Dean or more even.”

“Two of everything what?” Dean looked confused.

“Hearts, lungs, you name it they got it. Organs, Dean. They found a way to make themselves like super-soldiers,” Sam grimaces, “by harvesting organs from other people.”

“We’re not talking about another Dr. Benton are we?” Dean asked.

“No actually, they’re made ten times better, because of the person who invented it.”

“Who?”

“One Victor Frankenstein.” 

Dean’s eyes went wide with surprise. “The Frankenstein?!”

“Yup.”

“Are you a hundred percent sure? I mean, how did you figure that part out?”

“Like I said, Dean, Jacob Styne liked to talk or brag. After disposing of the other two, once we figured out how, Cas and I kept Jacob in the dungeon to interrogate while Charlie recovered in the infirmary. We found out about the compass and it’s use, plus the design on top it; a family crest. When he wasn’t useful anymore, I disposed of him,” Sam finished.

Dean looked at Sam and noticed how hard his voice got sharing that last piece. He could easily see why through Sam’s memories, but just like he does not want to abuse his new found power for every little bump or cut or bruise on Sam, he does not want to abuse that small trust he is starting to form with Sam, so he will not pry unless he’s pushed. Besides, he wants Sam to come to him like he always did as a child, teen and even young adult. At least until the whole Ruby, Angels and demon blood addiction got in the way.

“So how much info were you and Cas able to glean before making that decision?”

“Cas was busy with Charlie, so, uh, I elected that final decision.”

“After you made sure with Cas that was the best choice?” 

Sam looked away.

“Sammy?”

“He wouldn’t shut up, Dean. Then he had the nerve to mention our past to my face, especially when he doesn’t know anything.”

“Sam, what happened”

Sam eyes were once again rimmed with tears. “He said at least he was still human, not some abomination that was mutated into some kind of freakish hybrid who betrayed and used my family for my own selfish survival like a parasite.”

“Sam ...”

“No, Dean, it's okay. That's not what made me shoot him between the eyes.” Dean raises his eyebrows. “Uh, he called you weak and useless, because you allow yourself to be used and burdened by me, knowing what I was. I didn’t hesitate. I lifted the gun and shot him,” Sam swallowed.  

“First thing, that’s my boy,” Dean smiled and praised Sam as he walked over to him.

Sam looked up surprised. 

“Second thing, you know he was a dick just spouting stuff to hurt you on purpose, because none of it’s true.” Dean gently wrapped his arms around his brother, knowing although Sam tries to ignore it and not let it bother him anymore, the insults still hurt, because sometimes Sam suffers from insecurities, stemming from childhood.

“I know Dean. But part of it was true,” Sam sighs, “and I am okay with it.” He leans into the hug and then before Sam can protest Dean lifts him up into his arms and they walk over to the couch again. 

Dean leans back into the couch and gets Sam to lean into his chest. He starts to stroke Sam’s back. “Sam, I don’t know how many times I am going to tell you, but all that crap about you being some kind of abomination is not true, or being a burden either.”

Sam sniffed a bit and was ready to just relax into Dean’s arm when he recalled the reason of the whole conversation. He sighs a bit and pushed up to a sitting position.

“Dean, we have to find Charlie. If these goons that are following her again are anything like Jacob and gang, then she is in some serious trouble.”

“Okay not a problem. I’ll go get her and you will wait here.”

“Dean ...”

“No, Sam. I am not going to endanger you if those assholes are as bad as you say they are.”

“There’s a problem with that.”

“What?”

“I know where Charlie might have gone to and you don’t,” Sam challenges. “And you can try to Zen my brain all you want, but you’re not getting it.”

“No, Sam. I am not going to Vulcan your brain, because you are going to cooperate. This is not a game, this is Charlie’s life.”

Sam squirmed in Dean’s lap and bit his lip and hated his brother was right; this was not the time to be his stubborn self.

“She is at one of Bobby’s safe houses located in Haskell County, Oklahoma”.

“Why would she be headed there?”

“Because she was on a reconnaissance mission, from Shervenport, Louisiana,” Sam looks away.

“Why was she there in the first place?”

“Jacob mentioned that there was possibly more of them and that his family would stop nothing to get the book. That’s how Charlie and I were able to find actual material on his family here in the Bunker, the men of letters knew about them. Charlie decided to get some more intel; maybe she can go undercover and see if they had any more info on the book. Maybe even something to translate the book.”

“You allow Charlie to go by herself to a possibly dangerous family that you notice first hand, how hard they are too kill.”

“I wasn’t agreeable to the idea either, but she assured me that she’d stay hidden in sight. This was just recon, not a hunt, and if she ran into trouble, she would contact me or Cas, which she did.”

“We’ll discuss more once I get Charlie back,” Dean was ready to leave and looks over at Sam, he walks over to Sam and picks him up and walks him to the couch and places him down. Grabbing a blanket from the side, he proceeds to tuck it around Sam and arranges some pillows to. Dean straightens up and gives a firm look at Sam.

“You are to stay put and not move. I’ll only be gone five minutes, Sam. Watch some TV,” Dean instructs, and pulls from the side table a sippy cup and gives it to Sam.

Sam scowls up at Dean. “I know. And I don’t need juice. Besides, you’ll only be gone a few minutes like you said, it’s not like I’m going to get in any trouble while you zap in and out.”

Dean gives Sam a look of ‘are you kidding me?’. 

Sam returns the look with a huff and a pout as he leans back in the couch, arms crossed. It’s not his fault that troubles seems to find Sam, be it supernatural or human.

“Right, kid, just watch some cartoons, be back in a jiff,” he ruffles Sammy’s hair and zaps out.

Sam pouts more and lays back more into the couch. “You watch some cartoons,” he says to no one on particular. 

Sam sighs and turns on his side and looks over at the TV and sees an old classic cartoon of  “Scooby doo” running.  _ I can’t believe I used to think this show was cool, _ Sam harrumphed one more time and looks at the sippy cup in his hand and just finally takes a swig of it. It’s not juice, just water, which he needs, he knows that, but the inner child in him is pouting because he was hoping it was juice. And Dean left without giving him a snack or juice… damn it he can very well get his own snack, he does not need Dean to get him a snack or juice.

He was about to get up and then stops. He remembers Dean told him to stay put and right now with Charlie on the way back with Dean, Sam does not want any more embarrassing discipline situation to arise. He slumps back on the couch and picks up his sippy cup and just begins to suckle on the rubber spout, not just for thirst but comfort as well. 

About five minutes later he hears the door to the bunker opening. 

That’s weird. Why is Dean and Charlie coming through the door, instead of popping up in the living room where he is? He sits up and listens as footsteps descend down the staircase. 

Those don’t sound like Dean’s boots or Charlie’s light steps. Hunter mode kicks in automatically, he gets up quietly and reaches the wall by the living room entrance and lays himself flat against the surface and reaches behind his back for his ...

GOD DAMN IT!! His mind explodes as he feels the waistline of the fucking diaper. He looks down at himself and realizes how defenseless he is right now, no weapons and he looks ridiculous. 

Quickly dashing to the hallway on his right, he prays the weapon room isn’t locked…


	14. Awakening the sleeping dragon...in this case the Demon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean Winchester meets the Styne family...or more likely the Stynes get introduce to Dean and learn the hard way his number one rule  
> "Don't touch his little Brother"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to give thanks to Miss. Pixieleigh1234 for once again Beta-ing this chapter for me,she is truly awesome :)
> 
> Also I want to thank you all for being kind and patient as I write this story, I really do get surprise on how much love and support i get from everyone about this story. You guys really love it....when i feel like giving up and walking away your kind words and kudos keep me going. Its truly amazing how well this story is received by ya'll...considering I am writing this by the seat of my pants ;)
> 
> I hope you all enjoy the new chapter...I had magically created a new character just for this particular chapter...we all know about Monroe the patriarch of the Styne family, so I add a twist with a Matriarch for later- I hope she is well received,she came about because well I never like how Cyrus was killed in the show. Although he doesn't really come out until the very end..in my heart I know he lived :)
> 
> well enough rambling on with the show:

Chapter 14: Awakening the sleeping dragon…in this case the Demon

 

** Haskell County: **

Dean appears outside the cabin where hopefully Charlie is. As he walks to the door quickly, he stops and feels something is off. He does a quick search of the area with his eyes and then back at the door and finally sees the damaged lock.

He walks quickly to the door calling out, “Charlie!”

As he kicks the door in and runs in, Dean feels himself slam into a brick wall. He staggers back and looks around the room and his eyes go wide. All around the walls and ceiling, plus floors, are covered in Devils’ traps!

“Well look here boys, we caught ourselves a genuine demon,” the brown hair, tall guy walks over to Dean.

Dean’s snarls. “Where’s Charlie!?”

“Oh I wouldn’t worry about her. She’s going to be part of the family soon. I’d worry about your home right about now and one younger brother,” the brown hair man held out Sam’s wallet and taunted Dean.

Dean smirked at the guy. “You really don’t want to go there.”

“Well hate to disappoint, but too late. Your brother started this, all he had to do was hand over the book. But no, he had to mysteriously make my brother and two cousins disappear, since we haven’t hear from them in close to a month. So now Red and little brother are gonna replace what they took, since our father believes an eye for an eye.”

Dean’s eyes grew cold and his smile tightened. “Touch them and your whole family will regret ever crossing me. I am giving one chance to call it all off. Don’t blame me for what follows next if you don’t listen.”

The brown haired man chuckled. “Well the way I see it, you’re the one stuck with no leverage, and are powerless now.”

Dean looked around and smiled. “Well looks like you boys know something about research and demons. Now did you make sure to read up on all types of classifications of Demons?”

“Whatever the girl was able to give up after a little persuasion is that you are some kind of high ranking demon. Hence the extra precaution. We don’t really have time to bother like you hunters do on such trivial things. Oh yes we know what you and your brother are... Hunters. And who would of thought also legacies? Never thought I’d see the day where Men of Letters allow hunters into the club. But then again last my father heard the American Chapter house was no more.”

“Well it looks like you do know somethings. But as you said before you don’t bother much with trivial things. Seems to me you guys could learn a lot from hunters. We learn what kind of monster we are dealing with before going in. That way we are prepared. And then sometimes no matter how prepared you are, there will always be a surprise …”

“Oh don’t worry. I made sure to infuse these Devils traps with a spell so that any strength you do have will be zapped into it to increase its strength to hold you.”

Dean nods his head. “That could work. Except you didn’t count on one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“I’m not just a possessed vessel with demon energy. I’m a Knight of Hell. This is my true body with my own soul. And one more thing… I’m not just a demon... _I am one pissed off big brother!_ ” Dean snarls the last part out and his eyes flicker to black. But something new too; there is a ring of green circling the inky blackness of Dean’s eyes. It glows at the same time the cabin begins to tremble and then shake.

All three Styne men look at each other; they’ve never encountered something like this. This is not supposed to happen when a demon gets trapped.

The sigils start to glow, but then they start to crack too. Dean smiles and reaches behind him, pulling the first blade out and starts walking forward fast. The bigger one of the Styne men steps forward ready to meet Dean head on.

Dean side steps his attack and at the same time grabs his arm and swings him around, hauling him back up against him and slams the first blade through his back. The blade pokes out his front chest; the guy giving one surprised exhale and then slumps forward.

Dean pulls out the blade. “Then there were two,” Dean sings out as he walks towards the two men.

“Wait! Don’t you want to know where the girl and boy are?!”

“I gave you a chance,” Dean continues.

“Kill me and you won’t know where to look,” as he watches Dean slice through the other guy like he was butter.

As Dean steps up to him and grabs him by the hair he leans close to his face. “You see that’s where you’re wrong. I don’t need you to tell me anything, I’ll just look.” Holding the guy eye to eye, Dean lets a tendril of smoke flow from his mouth before whispering, “Show me.”

The guy’s eyes widen as the tendril enters his mouth, nose and eyes. He feels himself become paralyzed as Dean goes through all his memories like a fucking movie slide.

Dean then drops him to the floor like a rag doll; the man convulsing and shaking and coughing. Dean looks down at him with a look of disgust and anger.

“Like I’ve said before; monsters I get, people are crazy. You guys are some really sick SOB’s. You _choose_ to hurt other humans. Innocent lives. You think because you find a way to live longer or make yourself stronger it gives you the right to play God with innocent humans?”

The man is still coughing and spluttering as Dean lectures; trying to crawl away from him.

“So Eldon is your name and Jacob was your brother. I would say rest his soul, but it’s probably twisting and screaming in hell right now, where you’ll be joining him next.”

Dean reaches down and pulls Eldon up by his shirt, placing the blade against his throat.

“Yeah and you're Dean Winchester,” Eldon splutters through his teeth.

“Oh, I already know you know all about me and my brother, but you see, books only tell so much. Now the one thing I don’t understand after scanning you… there seems to be a running theme to me in these books that I thought you Styne’s would be smart enough to pick up on. Since It's my number one rule.”

“What?” Eldon says angrily

“Don’t touch my little brother,” Dean’s voice goes low and then completely draws the blade across Eldon’s throat.

Dean had seen exactly where Charlie was being taken and that this is a setup waiting for him to show up. The other group was waiting outside the bunker to get in once Eldon sent the signal via text, which he did. Dean is a bit torn up inside; he knows he can teleport now quickly to get to them but who does he go to first?

He saw what was waiting for Charlie once they get her to the Styne house. But seeing that asshole “Eli” breaking into the bunker while Sammy is waiting for Dean to return makes Dean’s blood boil.

No contest. Sammy it is; it’s always Sammy.

Right before he teleports, Dean gives a low whistle. Then he hears it in the distance; the sound of howling. In an instant the door crashes open by an invisible force. Dean leans down, his hand resting on something invisible in front of him and starts to pet it.

“Hey girl, how ya doing? Got a message for you to take back to your daddy.” The hellhound gives an affirmative growl and bark. “Good girl, Juliet.” Another bark resounds after Dean telegraphs his message to her and she takes off, at the same time Dean does too.

 

Dean arrives in the bunker and once again the bunker is in disarray. There is a look of utter disbelief on Dean’s face as he walks quickly through the Bunker.

“Sam!! SAMMY!!!” he calls out.

Dean is in full run mode down the hallways and bursts into Sam’s room where he felt the last of Sam’s essence; the nursery is totally trashed …

 

** Shreveport, Louisiana: **

 

_This is humiliating_ , Sam cringes inwardly, indignantly giving one last kick in the air as he is carried out the van and into the mansion over Roscoe Styne’s shoulders. This guy is huge in the sense that he is built like a linebacker; Sam’s height, but just freaking wide.

 

Even when Sam was built, this dude would still have more muscle over Sam. So even if he had been his old built self, this guy would still have given him a run for his money. In his current state now Sam probably feels like a bird to Roscoe; the man having all too easily manhandled him out of the nursery in a fireman carry. And when Sam tried to get out of it, it just seemed to slightly annoy Roscoe.

 

_As the entrance of the Bunker nears it hits Sam that, shit, they really are taking him. He tries to do what Dad and Dean had taught him about getting out of the hold. But it fails miserably because of his weight now._

 

_All it does is earn him a swat across his butt from the big guy and Sam only stills because of the need to die of embarrassment. What is worse is the actual treatment he receives once they get in the van. The blond guy named Eli is still being cold and mean to Sam but Roscoe seems to be studying him with curiosity once the battle has died down and they grab and then restrain him._

 

_Eli grabbed some rope but Roscoe had stopped him and told him there was no need for it. Roscoe looked over to Sam who is sitting on the back bench of the van and questions, “Right, little guy?” Sam’s face flushes red, but he nods in agreement with Roscoe. “See,” and then he actually reaches towards Sam and picks up what Sam forgot is around his neck. “Here you go,” Roscoe intones._

 

_Sam is flabbergasted as Roscoe actually picks up the pacifier hanging around his neck and holds it to his mouth. Sam is too much in shock to protest and his mouth just opens automatically to allow Roscoe to slip in the pacifier. Sam immediately closes his lips around it and seeing as he doesn’t know what else to do, he begins to suck on the pacifier._

_“Hey he’s pretty cute, Eli,” Roscoe tells his cousin._

_Eli looks over his shoulder as he slides into the driver seat and gives his cousin a funny look. “Whatever, dude. We just need to get him back to Monroe. If what he’s discovered is true about this one, he’ll make a perfect new species to study and see if we can recreate and use it for us to maybe have more power than the ancient ancestors in Europe,” Eli finishes._

_Sam looks over with wide eyes. What have they discovered?! What does Eli mean?_

_“Hey, quit it. You scared him,” Roscoe complains to Eli. He then reaches in his coat pocket and pulls out something, then reaches over the back seat again to Sam._

_Sam sees the little brown stuffed puppy that he guesses Roscoe must have grabbed on his way out with Sam in tow. Sam reaches tentatively for the stuffed dog and Roscoe gives him a smile as he pulls the dog against his chest._

_“Dude, stop being weird,” Eli complains to Roscoe as he turns back around and settles down in the passenger seat._

_“I think he’d make mom happy,” Roscoe looks pensive._

_“What!?” Eli looks genuinely startled with the answer. “We are not going against Monroe’s orders.”_

_“Yeah, but if Mom was happy again Monroe wouldn’t be such a tyrant. At least he wouldn’t get away with half the things he’s done.”_

_“You are seriously not suggesting we go behind Monroe’s back and wait and see if Morgana takes head of power again are you?”_

_“I never said such a thing. All I mentioned is I think mom losing Leslie and their lifestyle they had made her withdrawn and become reclusive. I think this kid we have can open her heart again,” Roscoe finishes._

_Eli looks pensive and then reacts as he starts the car. “Morgana’s still in the main mansion, right? Does she still do that afternoon high tea time crap she brought from her homeland?”_

_“Southwest garden area. And it just so happens that we need to pull-up and park the van. It wouldn’t be our fault while walking with Sam Winchester if she catches site of Monroe’s newest acquisition,” Roscoe eyebrows rise toward Eli._

_“You’re right it wouldn’t be,” Eli finishes with a smile. “Monroe’s strict instruction was to park close to the lab door back entrance. Not our fault we have to cut through the kitchen, then the foyer, before going to the lab door.”_

_Sam is looking back and forth between them wondering what is going on. A part of him not happy with either conversation about two people; someone named Monroe and someone named Morgana. And by the sounds of it, these two might be the heads of the whole house._

_Sam tucks that information into his mind, and repeats in his head the whole conversation he just heard between Eli and Roscoe. By the sound of it and tone, the Styne family seem to fear Monroe, but this Morgana person sounds possibly better?_

_What did Eli mean when he said Sam’s a type of new species?_

_He looks around and notices the van windows are heavily tinted so he cannot even see outside. Sam sits back, resigned for the moment. It will probably be a long drive and somewhere between Kansas and Louisiana there will be a chance to escape. And that is the plan; until he sees Roscoe pull out some kind of Amethyst rock on a brass chain and hand it over to Eli._

_Eli sets it on the dash close to the steering wheel and taps it three times. Then there is a shimmer across the front windshield and the road from the bunker they are on changes and Sam sees a suburban street with houses._

_Eli smirks over at Sam from the review mirror when he sees Sam’s reaction._

_“What? You think only Men of Letters have the official on artifacts and relics with magic in them. This here is a linear traveler amulet,” Eli holds it up for Sam to see. “How do you think we get around so quickly? You didn’t really think I was going to drive the six-hundred plus miles back. As you probably already know, theoretically there are lay lines all over earth, you just need to find the right one and unlock the door with the key,” Eli shakes the stone in front of Sam._

_Sam swallows and realizes what he and Charlie discovered on the Styne family is true. They aren’t just offspring of the original Dr. Frankenstein, they are an old family tree of ancient spell conjures. And as the journals of the Men of Letters stated they have been doing this for centuries. How old are they? The Men of Letters were unsure as this part of the family tree broke off relation from the European one and created the American Styne Dynasty._

_The van starts to slow down as Sam realizes he’s run out of time. And as they pull up to the huge house he gulps and hopes that Dean was able to get to Charlie and get back to the bunker and hopefully know where to look for him …_

 

Sam’s mind slams back into the present as he is being carried in through the back kitchen doorway into the Styne Mansion. His eyes go wide when he sees it is a fully staffed kitchen. And it hits him how he is dressed and what he looks like as he is carried in and paraded through.

But before Sam can go into full meltdown mode of embarrassment, he notices how the staff completely avert their eyes away from Eli and Roscoe and barely give him a glance. Sam studies this behavior. If he could guess there seems to be a certain tension in the air as they pass by them.

He knows that look; fear and submission.

Why are they working here if they fear their employers that much? _Unless they don’t have a choice_ , Sam wonders.

All of a sudden they walk out of the kitchen and run into a woman dressed in a flowing grey and white suite dress with a sharp black walking cane.

“Vickie, have you seen Morgana?” Eli inquires.

She gives him a sharp gaze and looks over to Roscoe and Sam. “You know as well as I do she likes me to serve her tea and sandwiches at approximately three pm when she sits down. It is two minutes to the time so she is coming down now and I need to get the serving tray, so if you’ll excuse me,” She’s curt and sharp with them.

They walk down a corridor next to a grand staircase and into the foyer area. Descending the stairs is a very tall, but beautiful woman with long ebony hair in a loose French braid and a spring floral-print flowing dress. As they round the bend, Sam accidently locks eyes with her.

“Eli, Roscoe,” She calls out to them. “What are you doing with that child?”

Eli stops and smiles, but when he turns around his face is set. “Monroe wants him for something new. Maybe later he’ll be harvested, but for now this kid is special.”

Sam tenses in Roscoe hold hearing this information. Not the part of possibly being harvested, but being once again called a “Child and Kid”. Are they serious!? He is freaking 31 years old! Way past his twenties when he had that baby face look. He’s for damn sure he’s finally come into his own (age wise)! He gets why Dean still calls him kid, kiddo, buddy, Sammy, and baby. But that’s a given, he’s Dean’s little brother; he gets it, he’ll never be able to really grow up in his big brother’s eyes.

Just like Dean will never stop being Sam’s big brother and hero in his heart and eyes. But these guys are complete strangers; they don’t get the right to call him something he is not or treat him as such. He tries to glare at them with the same heat intensity his brother gives all their enemies.

The lady the house (Sam thinks) tilts her head and gives a small frown as she studies him. Sam’s forgotten he is still sucking on his pacifier which is why she can’t take his glare seriously.

“Well he seems uncomfortable,” she manages to say about the child’s expression right now.

“Not our problem. We’re just following Monroe’s order. Let’s go Roscoe,” Eli turns away from Morgana.

Just as Eli had predicted Morgana follows close by as they enter the basement and walk downstairs to the lab.

Sam looks around the room they are in and a cold chill enters his body. It really is a full on laboratory. Then he sees the metal gurney and someone lying on it passed out.

“Charlie!” Sam spits out the pacifier as he calls out to his friend on the table.

“Oh she can’t hear you at the moment. She’s pretty heavily sedated for now, but that should change in a few hours.” The tall white haired gentleman spoke from the right side of the table and walks over to Sam.

He raises his eyebrows to Sam as he says, “I guess my boys caught you while you were playing,” Monroe smirks up at him.

Sam is glaring daggers at this guy until Monroe mentions Sam’s momentarily new look. Then Sam is slammed back into reality realizing he is still being held by Roscoe and wearing just a baby snap side white-tee, a diaper and baby booties. Sam’s whole face flames up and he wants to actually bury himself in Roscoe’s neck, but Charlie is there possibly hurt and vulnerable.

He needs to be strong for both of them and not give in to his childish impulse and embarrassment. He is a hunter trained by John Winchester and most importantly he is a Winchester and Winchester’s never give up nor care about what others think about them.

So even though his face might still be red, it is also red with anger because these people hurt his friend. So he quickly lets go of Roscoe and does what his Dad showed him and Dean. The human body has several pressure points; some to help alleviate tension, pain and stress, but the one John taught them was the ones that cause excruciating pain.

That is what Sam tries to attempt when he jabs his index and middle fingers into Roscoe’s lower jaw. The guy doesn’t flinch and Sam finds himself over Roscoe’s shoulder again getting another smack on his ass.

Three sharp swats.

“That was very bad” Roscoe scolds as Sam actually yelps and grips onto Roscoe’s shirt for support.

“Oh I think Mr. Winchester has learned his lesson. Roscoe, why don’t you place him on the other gurney.”

Roscoe does as he is told and sets Sam down on it. Sam wants to rub the sting out of his bottom. But he doesn’t want to give them more of a show or the satisfaction that it did affect him. He just gives them his meanest stare. Unfortunately, that is his sullen pout at the moment.

Monroe walked up to him with an empty syringe. “Now don’t worry this will only hurt a bit, just a pinch if you don’t move.”

Sam eyes go wide, but he holds back any sound he wanted to make. He is not about to announce how much he hates needles. Any time he needed a shot of something or getting tattooed up, Dean’s always been there for comfort and reassurance.

“What are you doing, Monroe?” Morgana finally speaks up as she has been watching from the side quietly.

“Ah, my dear. So good of you to come to my laboratory, it’s been awhile,” Monroe smiles at his wife.

She smiles right back but hers is far more chilling. “You know why I don’t like coming here.”

Monroe sighs at that comment. Leslie has been dead for ten years now and his wife still acts as though it was just yesterday. It’s not his fault that Leslie stumbled upon what they do here and for how long. Not that they needed to worry; they run this city quietly and have connections in powerful places. It fault lay anywhere it is with Morgana. She should have been keeping a better eye on her new found pet.

“Well, Love, since it’s been awhile that you share my passion for biology and science and are here now, it will interest you to know this boy here is none other than the famous Sam Winchester.” Morgana gave a puzzled look to that statement. “Oh come now, Dear, I know you’ve been in mourning longer than necessary, but even you in your coven back home in England must have heard of the name WINCHESTER whispered among our own society. Ten years back when the first of AZAZEL’S children were awoken.”

Morgana eyes widen. “But they were all killed. Destroyed by hunters or by their own hand.”

“Yes, my dear. And this one right here, that we heard whispered about, is the one every demon and evil entity were waiting for to awaken. The one Azazel favored among all the others he created. This one, after careful research, is the last actual hybrid from that failed experiment by Hell trying to find the one who was perfect. The one Azazel knew would be this boy here. Can you imagine what his DNA strand looks like under a microscope?”

Sam’s eyes go wide with fear. _No, no, no, I’m normal now, not a freak anymore, the trials cleansed me, didn’t they? I’m not that half-human, half-demon hybrid anymore, right?_ Sam is thinking. He looks around quickly trying to see how he can get out of here with Charlie intact.  

Being smart he realizes there is no way. He has no weapons or the means to carry out a rescue escape. His real option is Dean… Dean! He’s forgotten Dean went to retrieve Charlie. By now his brother must have figured out Charlie has been taken and returned to the bunker and… Yes! Found him missing!

Which means… ow… he felt a pinch on his right arm and sees that Monroe is withdrawing blood, filling up one vial. He scrunches his face at the slight pain. It is not, however, the pain that upsets him but the thought of a needle inside his arm/vein. He shudders and feels the anxiety climbing, tears start to form.

He feels all of the sudden someone rubbing his back, and looks over to see its Morgana rubbing his back and she actually shows some concern for him. Somehow this stabilizes Sam and he finds his inner strength once more and glares at Monroe.

“I really would stop what you are doing and let me and Charlie go.”

“I don’t think you’re in the position to make demands.”

“I’m giving fair warning now, let me go or you will regret it. Once my brother gets here he is going to kick your ass.”

Monroe laughs. “My dear boy, do you really think one person will be able to even get past the gate here? Let alone dozens of security enhanced with super human strength.”

Sam smiles big, confidently. “Dean can” Sam smirks, then he privately thinks _even more now_.

Monroe lowers himself down a bit to make full eye contact with Sam and smiles. “Oh I know you think you and your brother might have the upper hand because of a little power change that has been bestowed upon your brother.”

Sam startles at hearing this revelation from Monroe.

Monroe smiles even bigger. “Yeah I bet you weren’t counting on us knowing that bit of information. But you see we’ve been around a long time, boy, and we’ve made sure through the centuries never to be unprepared. By now your brother is probably on his way down here, but in chains.”

Sam looks confused. How did they know about Dean? And as if Monroe could read his mind the man provides that information, walking over to Charlie’s unconscious body and starts stroking her hair.

“Oh you see my boys can be very persuasive in getting information out of anyone including your friend here.” He then goes and proceeds to pull some of the sheet covering Charlie. Sam’s eyes go wide as he sees some dark bruising and burns and slice marks on Charlie’s arms and chest.

“After fifteen minutes of screaming she broke, letting us know your brother’s gone level three on demon-hood.”

Sam wants to lunge himself at Monroe and kick that smirk off his face after seeing what they’ve done to Charlie, but he settles for an angry glare. “You fucking Monsters! When Dean does get here you’re gonna wish you’d never crossed path with us!”

“Still betting on your brother,” Monroe shakes his head. “How touching, that unwavering faith you have in him.”

“You’ve no idea what you got yourself into. When you touch something that’s Dean’s, that pisses him off to no end. But when you hurt something, well if the dead could talk, you’ll wish you’d never met a Winchester,” Sam coldly smirks. 

“I don’t think a demon has yet to break through a Devil’s trap especially infused with a binding spell too,” Monroe informs Sam.

Sam laughs. “Looks like you didn’t get enough intel. Or Charlie actually outsmarted you and gave you only enough to make you think you had the upper hand, but would actually back fire.” Monroe looks confused for the first time when Sam tells him this.

“Dean is not just an ordinary Demon. He’s a Knight of Hell and not just a Knight, but the first Knight; The Mark of Cain Knight of Hell. So if I were you I’d drop everything and run,” Sam’s face takes on a cold threatening look as he finishes.

Morgana gasps. That’s impossible. The Knights of Hell were destroyed there shouldn’t be any left according to her great, great grandmother’s grimoire. But the child said first knight… no… Cain’s Mark, but that can’t be… no one knows what happen to Cain after the slaughter of the knights. He just disappeared according to the coven she belonged to. And the Styne Dynasty did all their research on this as they were looking for the first blade themselves a while back in history. Even the Men of Letters had no sightings, just bits of lore here and there. 

Could the older brother have found Cain? Which means … 

“Monroe,” She speaks sharply. “I would heed this child’s warning. We should go. Now.”

“You’re not seriously buying in to this storytelling?”

“We have been alive for hundreds of years and our ancestors longer. We have seen and dealt with every magic, evil and lore on earth, and you know as well as I do every fairytale has some true origins. So yes, my darling, I would take his warnings to heart and disappear like we do when its time.” Morgana’s head snaps up and looks in the far distance as she hears a howl. “And I think it’s time,” her eyes go wide, “or possibly too late.”

Monroe watches his wife who has been quiet and emotionless these past years, to see her face flick with fear. Realizing maybe it is time, he looks over to Eli and Roscoe.

“Eli, go upstairs and get Intel and lend some strategic interference. Then find an opening and leave, you know where the new meet up is. Roscoe grab the kid and head out the back way of the lab, I’ll meet up with you and Morgana.”

Morgan looks at her husband confused, “Why not just leave him here with is friend?” She questions, looking over at the girl passed out.

“My dear this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. This child was given Azazel’s blood and housed Lucifer the fallen archangel. Do you really think I am going to pass up this genetic anomaly when it could possibly help our tree line increase in power?”

As Roscoe makes to pick up Sam from the gurney, Sam realizes what is happening and immediately slides to the right side of the gurney when he sees Roscoe coming for him. Sam figured out by their conversation that Dean is here or at least arriving. All Sam has to do is stall until Dean finds him and Charlie.

Not that hard if he thinks about it. He’s always managed to elude capture once he really plays “keep away” namely himself. How else was he able to elude babysitters in the past? Heck even in the present. 

He ducks under the gurney when he senses the older Styne coming up behind him. He quickly crawls to the left of the gurney and makes it to the other gurney were Charlie is and would have uses her as a batting ram against the two Styne’s, except he did not count on Eli coming back. 

So when he grabs on to the edges of Charlie’s gurney he didn’t expect to feel steel arms come around him, pinning both his arms down to his sides and be lifted up. Sam kicks his legs in the air, but it is futile as he is held tightly against Eli’s chest.

“My god, you are kind of bratty,’ Eli says through gritted teeth as Sam kicks and squirms in his hold. “Roscoe, can you get over here; you know how I feel about holding kids.”

Roscoe quickly walks over to them and takes Sam from Eli. “Geez, dude, you think you can keep a hold on one measly kid.” 

Eli shakes his arms and then walks over to one of the cabinets and grabs a couple silver steel looking weapons, then reaches in and grabs a couple of googles. Monroe looks questioningly at Eli.

“Hellhounds, Monroe,” is Eli’s response to Monroe’s silent question. “You better take leave now while I and some of the cousins hold them off.” Eli says and slips on the googles, headed out again up the stairs from the lab.

Monroe snaps to attention once Eli left. “Ok, Roscoe, you heard him get out now.” Monroe hits the side of the wall and a secret panel opens up in the wall leading down a dark corridor.

“What about you, Dad?” Roscoe asks as he makes for the exit.

“I need to get to the den. We cannot lose The Book again after finally getting it back. Nor the family Grimoire.” Monroe left the same way Eli did. 

Morgana sighs and walks over to the hidden panel. “Come along, Roscoe, we need to go now. Your father can be one stupid stubborn fool.” 

Morgana leads the way and Roscoe follows suite. When Sam realizes once again they are leaving - actually leaving with him in tow - something snaps inside him. The child in him is scared because Dean won’t know where he is now. He tries to not let the damn break inside him but the further in they go the more the low whimpering sounds start as he watches the opening disappear. Then a full on wail escapes before he can stop it and the dam bursts and Sammy starts to kick and squirm with all his might. 

“NO, No, no… I want Dean! ... DEAN!!!’ Sam wails and is full on kicking. 

He doesn’t care that at this moment he honestly looks like a full on two year old throwing the biggest fit ever. He just wants his brother! He knows Dean is here somewhere and they’re taking him away. Half way down the corridor Roscoe actually tries to shush him, by picking up the pacifier again and trying to get Sam to take it, but Sammy is past this consolation.

“Aw come on, little guy, none of that, please be quiet, you’ll be okay,” Roscoe bounces Sam, this just upset him more as the tears stream down Sammy cheeks.

“D’... De...Dean,” he hiccups now. 

Sammy is becoming more and more incoherent in his thoughts and verbal speaking. Morgana finally stops and turns around to face Roscoe and Sammy and sees the most heartbreaking site; Sammy’s full on lost puppy look with tears streaming down those big hazel eyes and his hiccupping and wailing at the same time, pushing uselessly at Roscoe’s shoulder wanting to get down.

Something inside Morgana awakens; something since Leslie died, she has never felt her heart alive and warm since her adopted child’s death. She walks up to Roscoe who is trying to soothe the inconsolable baby. 

“Let me see him Roscoe,” she says gently. 

Roscoe looks hesitant but also has a small smile for his mother. Out of all her biological children he is the one who has been waiting for his mother’s grief to alleviate and her power to re-emerge. And he can now see that happening as she is reaching for the kid in his arms. The lines on her face (that were never there) were once tight and her color pale. Now were softened and a small rosy color coming back to her.

“You sure, Mom? He’s a little hard to handle right now.”

“Roscoe James Styne, I’ve had five boys and one adopted daughter. I think I can still handle one squalling infant. And the way you’re holding him, you’re just upsetting him more,” she scolds him and reached over, taking Sam from his arms. 

Roscoe almost panics. His mom is no small woman at 5’11, but the little guy’s body is big but thin so it is light weight and his mother’s build comes from Celtic warrior race in her ancestry.

So she easily holds Sam in her arms and begins to gently walk with him but in a swaying motion and making cooing, shushing sounds to Sammy, while rubbing his back and switching to rubbing his head.

“Aww, it’s okay, sweetie. No, no, no its gonna be okay, no need for tears, come on now what this fuss about, huh, what this fuss about?” she coos to Sam and rubs his back more, Sam continues with his crying but his inner self is starting to respond and looks at the woman that is now holding him.

Somewhere in the back of his mind he knows he’s supposed to be doing something. Or saying something. But he can’t stop the heartfelt sobbing he’s feeling, and only one thought is making sense to him, so when he opens his mouth again another wail escapes and one word along with it…

“Dean, D…D…Dean!” he sobs to the lady.

“Oh baby I know, I know, you just want your big brother don’t you, there, there, it’s going to be okay,” Morgana keeps cooing and baby-talking to Sam as she walks down the secret corridor. 

She does something she has not done in a long time; she gathers the life force around her and sends out tendrils of light power outward through the whole mansion seeking out a safe passage for them. She does not want the little one in her arms to see any horrors (that are probably happening right now) while he’s this upset. One thing she learned from the community she once was part of with Leslie was when one is this deep in their safe headspace, you do not want to add trauma while they are like this. It can leave permanent scaring and deep trauma to the psyche.

And although she is well aware this is Sam Winchester - whom the supernatural underground monster community have spoken about - she’s pretty sure none have a clue of this side of the young Winchester. And more importantly - as she felt Sam’s soul essence when her powers gathered around her again in the lab (her grief over her adopted daughter’s demise had cut her off completely from them) she was astounded to feel that this was not the usual age-play, regressing mentally game, some humans indulge in for fun, guilty pleasure or just loving the feel of being taken care of because of the stress of adult life – this is his true form. 

His soul, heart and mind are of pure innocence that is never honestly seen these days, except in actual new born babes until their twelve month birthday. That beautiful wonder of watching life through their eyes, before it starts being lost once the soul starts to grow and experience with the human vessel.   

But somehow this man-child - because that is what Sam Winchester is, an honest eternal youth caught forever in that wonder of innocence and purity - has never lost it. Through all this child has seen and experienced, it is still there just as bright, just as strong. It is no wonder this child attracts every possible supernatural being and unconsciously human beings too. Because of that nature of wanting to possess, keep or just be in the presence of something so pure and perfect. 

She herself is feeling it too; wanting to leave the mansion with the child in tow. She can offer all the love she had lavished on Leslie (her close to perfect adult child), all the warmth and comfort; teach him more wonders of the gift of magic and psychic gift. Teach him more ancient lore and legends as she can sense also the curiosity and intelligence of this child. He is a seeker of knowledge and wisdom like herself and knows he would respect all the books and lectures she would share with him. 

But as she gazes down at the glow of the child’s light, there is this wispy tendril circling protectively over the babe’s aura. This soul already has an owner; a parent, brother, guardian, protector. A warrior’s light which is just as strong as this baby’s light or more.

The eternal youth’s aura is a brilliant pure white and yellow. The other’s aura a fiery red/orange/yellow with lightning streaks of greens and interwoven with black. It is locked onto this child; forever bonded by the looks of it, never to be broken. And by the history of it she can see others have tried, but failed. They could have dimmed the bond, made it waiver, but never truly break it. She sees these tendrils that are encircling the baby’s wrist and flowing outward to where she knows the other half of this soul will be. 

Morgan notices the child has finally quietened down and is looking at her mournfully. “Aw look at you, you poor thing,” she coos to him as she runs her fingers through his hair. 

Morgana realizes she needs to make a decision as they have finally made it to the exit in the back hallway leading to another outside exit and a waiting car. How would she feel if someone took Leslie away from her when she was so close to her? She knows the feeling, she bites her lips…

“Roscoe, go to the car and bring it around now.”

Roscoe looks at her confused. “What about you? Where are you headed?”

She smiles. “I’m getting something from the old nursery,” she reassures and winks. “Don’t worry,” she tells him when it looks like he might protest. “I know I’ve been absent in mind and spirit and by the looks of things, we might lose half our family here today, but as long as I am breathing I will make sure the others escape. Its time I take us back home to our roots. By the sounds of things, I don’t think your father will make it out of here alive. His own fault. He forgot to take a page from his own book. There is always a bigger fish and Monroe’s found him. Go on, Roscoe, I’ll be right behind you,” she smiles in what feels like ages because it reaches her eyes.

Roscoe smiles right back, because his gut instinct was right in bringing the kid along to his mom to see. It did wake her. Morgana reaches with one hand to her son’s cheeks and answers his thoughts. 

“Yes it was a good plan, my son. And it is time I wake up and realize I have other responsibilities to your siblings and cousins. Now let’s get going. I don’t think the wards/spells and sigils embedded in these walls will hold out much longer against what I sense is an incredible force breaking through them easily.”

They both split at the side east entrance to an alcove that leads to the garden and a back staircase that was hidden from view. Roscoe goes out to the garden and Morgana goes up the staircase to the second floor. She walks down the hallway to the end where an elevator stands with a beautiful brass intricately woven design on the elevator’s doors. 

The child starts to fuss again in her arms.

“Aww, no, no sweetheart, it’s okay, I’m not taking you away. There now, don’t fuss it will be all right,” she bounces Sam up in her arms a bit and rubs his back as she waits for the elevators doors to open. When they do open, she makes to step in and she can feel the babe tremble in her arms and can feel his emotions, he does not want to go in. 

She twists the child around a bit from her hips so he can look at her, 

“Hey now, look at me. I promise you will be with your brother soon. I just need to get something and then with a little bit a patience he’ll find you safe and sound.” 

Sam gives her sad eyes when she mentions his brother. So far he just wants to be reunited with Dean and, and… gosh it has gotten so hard to think since he just elapses into little brother mode. He doesn’t know what happened; it’s like he has no focus or control on how he is truly feeling. Just feeling lost and scared and doesn’t want to be here. 

But the nice lady with the beautiful blue eyes has been really comforting, like a mom would be, or Dean. Dean’s always comforts like this. And just like that the water works want to start again. He wants Dean. He whimpers again and then she starts to rub his back as they enter the elevators. She cooes and continues to rock him while they go up to the fourth floor.

When they step out he notices the hallway is not long, just three doors and she opens the one on the far left and last one. When it opens it reveals a beautiful nursery decorated in pinks and pastel lavender colors and has been kept spotless. Sam feels the lady grip him tightly as she takes a deep breath and walks in. There are plush stuffed animals and beautiful menagerie animals and dancers on some shelfs. On the white dresser where she walks over to is a white wooden music box. She lifts the lid and instantly the room is filled with haunting lullaby music. She reaches in the music box and pulls out a gold locket and walks over to a white classic rocking chair.

She sits down with Sam in her lap. He looks at her hesitantly and notices there are tears brimming in her eyes. Morgana takes a deep breath and speaks.

“This was Leslie room. As you can see everything has been kept perfect since the day …” she pauses here, “… well, since she’s been gone.” She opens the locket in her hand and shows it to Sam. In it is a beautiful girl in her early twenties with golden blond hair and amber eyes. “I have been selfish and locking her memory and not letting her go. Making me shut down and shut everyone out including my own biological children… she would be sadden to know I allowed myself to sink this low in grieving instead of allowing myself to feel again and setting her free from this darkness I’ve kept her in.”

Sam reaches for the locket tentively and Morgana allows him to take it from her hand. He gazes at the girl in the picture, then closes the locket and reaches over to Morgana so he can slip it on her neck and settle it carefully down on her chest. He lifts his head up and gives her a shy smile.

“You’re right, it’s time,” Morgana answers Sam’s gesture. “And it’s time that I take back my family and my role as matriarch of this dynasty and hopefully salvage what Monroe has taken and broken and leave Louisiana. Isn’t that right, love?” Morgana looks to the doorway and standing there is a young man maybe about eighteen or twenty with black wavy curls hair and glasses. 

She walks over to a pink play pen in the room and settles Sam down in it. “Come here, Cyrus.” The young man walks over to Morgana as she reaches out to hold his hand, he takes it. “This is Sam Winchester and I believe the noises we hear downstairs might be his big brother on his way to find him. So it is best we get going now.” She reaches over to Sam and ruffles his hair “Now it’s time to say goodbye.” And she leans down and whispers to Sam, “Thank you.” 

As she and her youngest son walk to the doorway Sam gets a bit anxious realizing he is being left here alone, in this room.

Morgana turns around and looks at Sam and smiles. “Wait there. I’m pretty sure your brother will definitely find you soon now.” She reaches to the side of her belt on her dress and pulls out a hidden small silver blade, stops at the wooden doors and scratches some design Sam noticed while entering. Now on closer inspection he notices they are symbols almost like runes.

Morgana answers Sam’s thoughts. “Old Celtic magic ward, now broken and he can sense where you are now. Goodbye Sam. Our path may cross again someday. After all you and your brother are still hunters and my family and clan are on the other side that you don’t agree on our methods for living longer,” She winks and leaves.

Sam sits there for a few minutes wondering what to do. He wants to start to cry again because he’s alone and he knows somehow his big brother will hear him and come running. After all, didn’t the lady say he was close and could sense him now? 

Sam twists and looks around the nursery he’s in and realizes he wants his room. He doesn’t want to be here anymore and he feels the waterworks wanting to start all over again. He tries to take a deep breath to calm himself down and realign himself mentally and emotionally.

He can feel himself waring with his need of his big brother and his need to get a grip and act his age. _Focus Sam_ , he can feel himself pulling himself back from the edge of where he spiraled down emotionally a few moments ago, _you need to get back down to Charlie now. Just because everyone treats you like a toddler, doesn’t mean you are one_.

He blows out an annoyed breath and gathers himself. _That’s it keep yourself focused. Charlie is in trouble._ When Sam opens his eyes the vulnerableness in his eyes is pushed back and the fierce hunter is back. He stands up and steps over the bars of the play pen he was sitting in a moment ago. He straightens his shoulder and takes a couple of steps forward, missing the part that the playpen is on an elevated floor and… oomph!

Sammy falls flat on his face. And then the inevitable happens. Before Sam can process anything, his face scrunches up and a wail escapes from his mouth. It is just an automatic, instinctive reaction from so many past falls and accidents when he was a lot younger.

Which later in the bunker when Dean gets him home, he’ll wonder what the hell happened then. But for now he is sobbing on the pink carpeted floor of this nursery, which once again is a strange place for him and his hands and knees hurt and he’s cold and hungry and he just wants to get out of here and back to Dean. Then he hears it the one voice that means home and comfort.

“Sam!” Dean hurries into the room as he finally has Sam’s exact location for the first time since entering this mansion. 

The sight that greets him is a sobbing little boy on the floor and when Sam turns up his head to look at Dean and make eye contact, he doesn’t think Sam could look any sadder. But damn the forlorn expression on the kid’s face goes straight to Dean’s heart and it breaks him to see it. He walks right over to him.

“Aww, baby, what happened?” As he knelt down next to Sammy, he sets down the blade he has in his hand and reaches to pick up his baby brother off the floor. 

At that moment as Sam feels his brother’s hands lift him up, he just gives in to the wail more and proceeds to grab on to his flannel and pull himself closer to his brother’s chest.

“Aww, it’s okay, sweetie, I’m here, I’m here.” Dean rubs his brother’s back as he holds him close to him. He gets up off the floor with Sam in his arms and starts walking back and forth to comfort him. Sam does start to calm down but he is still squirming in his arms and giving soft whines.

‘What’s wrong, Sammy?” Before Dean can figure out what is wrong with his baby, Castiel walks in through the door. 

“Dean, everything has been cleaned up and taken care of.”

“How’s Charlie doing?” Dean asks, not forgetting the sight that greeted him when he got to the basement with Crowley. 

He made sure Crowley understood once he killed that bastard Monroe to make sure he personally greeted that dick in hell and give him the red carpet treatment. Crowley had promised that Monroe would get the very best of Hell (Wink, Wink) and left with Juliette and the rest of the hellhound pack.

“She is in the Bunker’s infirmary with Hannah administering healing. She should be awake by the time you get back.”

“Good. Those fucking bastards will pay for a long time for ever hurting Charlie. And the moment they even show they are turning I told Crowley to terminate the soul permanently. We do not need those fuckers as demons.”

“We can be assured that Crowley will most definitely not let that happen, since he would not want the competition,” Castiel responds.

“Damn straight,” Dean agrees. 

All of the sudden Sammy gives another bigger squirm and loud whimper. The whole time Dean and Castiel were talking Sam was becoming more aware that he was very uncomfortable and cold and then it hit him; he is wet and cold. And since that coldness and wetness is coming from his bum region it means only one thing; somewhere between the lab downstairs to coming up here he had… gulp… oh god once again his bladder just went with no sensation telling his brain he needed to go. Just like a frigging infant. When did he lose control of peeing like a normal adult? And now instead of just telling Dean out loud that he’s wet and wants to go home, his body and mind are acting like a fussy baby! He wants to huff in annoyance, but ends up giving another loud whine.

“Dean, I believe Sam is uncomfortable,” Castiel’s head is tilted to the side watching Sam curiously.

“I can see that Cas, I’m trying… oohh” Dean pauses as he had patted Sammy’s bottom and felt the diaper. “I see, baby boy needs a change,” Dean smiles up at Sammy in his arms. 

Sam finally huffs, and looks at Dean with a glare.

“Dean, I think it best for us to go now. I can send a squad in and have them finish up this place to make sure there are no other hidden traps or spells that innocent people might set off should they wander in the abandon house.”

“You’re right, let’s get the hell out of here. Place gives me the creeps,” Dean shivers. “Cas, can you grab the blade for me?”

“Of course,” Castiel leans down and picks up the Angel Blade on the floor. 

“Okay, let’s go.”

The next thing Sam notices they are back in the Bunker. Or his room in the bunker as he looks around. It is completely clean. No longer trashed like he left it when he got into a scuffle with Eli and Roscoe. Well more with Eli than Roscoe if he recalls. Roscoe had at first attacked since Sam came at them with a gun and Angel blade in the living room, and ended landing on his butt when Roscoe decked him. Sam had remembered the tears instantly springing to his eyes, but quickly scrubbed them away angrily. After that Roscoe refused to hurt a child he told Eli and then it was just Eli and him and then they got to his room. By that time he had lost his gun (ran out of bullets) and blade. 

He managed to get into his room and lock the door, but then realized his stupid mistake. Because he trapped himself and the door only held for a few minutes and Roscoe managed to break the door down easily, he remembers the door splintering in pieces.

But now the room is spotless. No broken door or crib. He remembers him and Eli both used it to try and ram each other and ended up breaking it against the wall. The changing table was upturned in their scuffle. Sam looks around and everything is back in order. Did his brother clean before coming to get him?

“Nope. Wasn’t me, buddy,” Dean responds to Sam thoughts. “I think Hannah must have done a little spring cleaning. Speaking of cleaning, let’s get you clean and changed.” Dean walks over to the changing table and places Sammy on it. This time Sam doesn’t fight or make a face, he really just wants that disgusting wet diaper off him.

Dean pulls out the necessary items; baby wipes and for some strange reason a big bath towel. He leans over Sam and proceeds to unsnap the baby tee and remove it and carefully eyeing his baby’s body to see if he has any bruises or wounds. He saw the big bruise on Sammy torso

“Awww, Sammy, what happened?”

“The usual Dean when we get tossed or slammed against something,” Sam replies to Dean baby-talking to him.

“Damn, I’m sorry. I should not have left you alone.” 

“Nothing to apologize for. You didn’t know they would be coming here. Besides, I heard there was a trap set up for you so there was nothing you could have done. You had to go get Charlie.”

“Yeah, but next time I am calling someone to stay with you if I ever need to run out again. Like Cas or Hannah, heck maybe Kali, since she asked me.”

Sam bitch-face’s Dean. “I don’t need a babysitter, Dean! I can take care of myself just fine.”

“Says the kid who’s been kidnapped multiple times when I’m not around.” Dean proceeds to remove the wet diaper while Sam grumbles at him. After he wipes him down completely, he removes the booties and socks and grabs the towel and wrap Sam in it.

“Dean, what are you doing?!”

“It’s your bath time. Especially now, since you are a bit bruised. A hot bath will ease those and then we’ll get some yummy dinner in you,” Dean answers.

“What about Charlie? Aren’t we going to check up on her?”

“Yes. Right after your bath I’ll change into some clean clothes and then we can visit with Charlie for a bit and see if she’s able to watch you while I make us all dinner.”

The realization hits Sam that Charlie is going to see firsthand what he meant when he told her earlier that there have been strange things happening with Dean. Sam groans out loud and puts his head down on Dean’s shoulder......

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hope you all like it? Thanks again for your love and support <3 I can't wait to see what you guys think of Charlie in my story...not sure how well I do with her as all I know her on the show as that red hair girl that says to Dean and Sam "See ya bitches?" and she has a funny sense of fashion ( Dean taking her shopping in season 8)


	15. Chapter 15: Lullabies and cuddles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sammy is having a tough day, he keep slipping easily into his natural state. But still stubborn to rescue Dean from the Mark, he is able to pull out and plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize this has been ready since the 1st week of February...but have been struggling to post. Mrs. DeadMocking birds help beta and then while going thru some of the corrections she made and the ones she highlighted in red for me to make the changes. I accidentally deleted :...(
> 
> this is why never try to do this while stressing and having to teens fight in front of you and interrupt you constantly every 5 minutes.
> 
> So with the old one that i originally sent to her I try my best recreated what she help me with. I can verified this probably on of the worst chapter I written and the grammar, spelling and quotations are all wrong. so after a 2 month of fighting with this chapter here it is.... please forgive me... Also this is not how I envision finishing this chapter hope fully the next one i can do better and connect everything better.
> 
> This is just a mess and a let down...but I did not want to keep in my file another month...so here goes

Sam found himself once again being immerse in a full bath, except just one new change; why was there some weird chair in the tub with mesh type of interior?

Its light blue with animal’s designs on it (looks like ducks, turtles, and frogs with lily pads)

Dean seats him on it! He is leaning back into it and he can see that this gives Dean easy access to bathe him easily.

From washing his hair to…to…washing his body. He can now easily reach all the way down with the wash towel as he scrubs his neck going down his chest to his abdomen it is when he hits the lower waistline, Sam jerks half upright from the chair.

“Dean Stop”

Dean sighs and rolls his eyes “Really Sammy, it’s no different than when I change your diaper and wipe you down with baby wipes.”

Sam is hunch over in an awkward position since the seat he is in; does not lean up, it just leans downward.

“Wait, just wait ok” Sam is beet red “number one, what the hell is this new contraption and two I thought we agreed I do the lower half when I take a bath”

“Well number one - its call a baby bath seat and number two” Dean with one hand gently push Sam back down on the seat “We never did; it was just that one day, until you get comfortable”

“Does it look like I’m comfortable?” Sam huffs at him

“Yes actually, it’s all in your head Sammy, just let it go baby” Dean instructs gently.

“What do you mean?’ Sam looks perplexes, so adorable and lost but looking to Dean for help.

Dean smiles “You are always comfortable and relax when you are sick and you can’t shower so you settle for a body wash or bath or how about the times when I have to assist you due to an injury, you never mind then, in fact you are completely immersed in just enjoying the attention you are getting from me.”

Sam got fluster hearing this and tries to denied it

“I do not! I just …well… uh…assumed if I just cooperate…it be easier than giving you a hard time” Sam finished

Dean gave Sammy a knowing look “So why don’t you just cooperate and get this over with?”

“Because…I…just…” Sam really could not think of a good reason other than I want to do it myself mentality even that rather sounded childish to him. How was it different from all the other times now that Dean has changed him.

He does not put up a big fuss or mind as much recently. He turns red at that thought, ok besides the diaper changes, Dean’s right the other times in the past Dean had mentioned, Sam was happy letting Dean take care of the everyday simple stuff, in his everyday life, he never had to worry, about making sure he’s eating, sleeping, or showering…wait what! …. Jesus Christ he gave pause to those thoughts….

Because really! How could he not be bothered with eating! What wrong with him Sam thinks. Has he really taken it for granted that Dean would always be there to make sure he ate because he was too lost in research to eat or sleep for that matter? What the fuck did he really believe the food magically appear at his side every time he looked down…

 He gives a cautious look up to his big brother as he sees Dean waiting patiently for him to let him finish bathing him…fine he huffed and leans completely into the baby seat.

Dean re-dipped the washcloth in the tub to wet it again and added more baby body wash on it and started once again on Sammy’s waist than went lower as he did he notice Sam tense but didn’t stop him. He went in the creases of the inner thigh and then around his groin area quickly and then back down his legs, by the time he reached Sam’s feet, and started back up the other leg, he could feel Sam completely relax and unwind. Dean was humming the whole time Metallica, knowing it would distract Sammy and relax him, which it did.

Once he finishes scrubbing Sammy body of the grime and dirt, he moves on to wash his hair making sure to massage his scalp just the way Sam loves it and can tell when Sam actually hums happily, Dean apply the conditioner, he remember the comb and brushes Sammy long hair to remove any tangles. After his bath is completely over Sam is a puddle of relax goo and warmth radiating off him. He doesn’t mind when Dean picks him and wraps him in his big yellow fluffy towel and lays him down, on his changing table.

He’s engulfed in the sheer tenderness of Dean diapering him and dressing him again he is in blue and white pajamas, it two-piece top bottom but the long sleeved shirt can be snap to the waist of his PJ’s bottoms pants which have covered feet. They’re soft and comfortable and Sam is in luxury in these…

Maybe he’s enjoying this too much- because he can feel himself vibrate with contentment, and does not fuss as Dean snaps a bib and then places his pacifier again around his neck.

Can you blame him, he had such a hard day what; with the Stynes and all and this is just what he needs after a long day. It’s really no different than when they go on a hunt and come back to relax, and Dean makes them dinner….which reminds him as he feels his tummy rumble a bit…didn’t Dean say something about dinner after his bath? He scrunches his face adorably with questioning eyes towards Dean. His big brother chuckles at him.

“Okay baby, your right time for dinner, but first one quick stop”

As Dean picks up Sammy and rest him on his hip, they walk down the corridor to the infirmary. As they enter, Dean can feel Sammy in full headspace not to mention the pacifier that Sam slipped on his own. He was talking to Dean as they walk down the corridor- so it sounded more like babbling- (you try speaking around a pacifier) but Sam was happy not noticing or being bother how he was acting and talking with Dean.

When Dean notice that mental and consenting feelings from Sammy back in the nursery. Dean had reached out to Castiel to talk to Hannah, so they 

could prepare Charlie when Dean walks into the infirmary with Sam. He was wondering at the time if maybe he should have had Castiel escorted Charlie out the Bunker after she was healed, but knew that his little brother would want to see Charlie. He himself has missed Charlie and wanted to see how she was doing.

As soon as he rounded the corner, he almost regretted his decision because he could hear the loud voices coming from the infirmary.

“What do you mean age-play, Sam doesn’t do role play, and in fact he hates it unless there is a reason for it?”

Sam is clueless, still in his relax mind state, and still baby talking to Dean.

Then he walked right in past the double doors and he smiled big seeing Charlie sitting there talking to Castiel and Hannah, all three lookup towards Dean and Sam.

Charlie’s eyes go wide at first and then she looks over to Dean and locks eyes with him, she looks hesitant at first but then she smiles

“HEY! What up my bitches!’ she breaks out into and hops off the medical bed and walks over to them, reaches and somehow manages to place her arms around Dean and Sam and squeezes tight

Dean smiles right back “you look good” he tells Charlie

“Well you know, angel healing and what not”, she says sheepishly, Dean looks sad for a moment

“Charlie I am so sorry, I didn’t get there sooner, had I known...

“Hey you hush, you got there in time, no playing the blame game, got it” she commanded.

“Hey Sam”

Sam tilts his head, looks at Charlie and smiles shyly and proceeds to put his head down on Dean’s shoulder. Charlie look perplexed at Sam since he did not speak, but continue to suck on the pacifier in his mouth.

“Is he okay?” she looks to Dean for answer to Sam’s behavior.

Dena smile reassuringly to Charlie “Yeah, Sammy, just had a hard day being held captive with the Stynes and now he just hungry and tired”

“Oh okay, but Sam pretty talkative by now with me?”

Castiel responded, “Sam is right now is in his natural state, so a bit shy at his age would indicate- as I explained earlier”

“Oh, yeah, that whole young soul thingy…”Charlie study Sam in Dean’s arms, beside the whole 6’4 frame- Sam actually looked normal- it fit, from what she seen over the last couple of years. However, it was never this obvious more like subtle hints. When Sam was hurt, she sees how he would lean into Dean or even though he put on a brave front, at times when they were in a tough situation-the relief when Dean would show was evident in his face. What was it that writers in fantasy fandom would a write about them? A child like hero worship.

Although she never would mention anything aloud to Dean or Sam when she notice Sam’s behavior after being medicated-her inside where squealing on how Cute Sam was being.

“So then everyone peachy” Charlie eyes hold a question

“If you’re asking if I’m going to go dark side on you, the answer is no I’m not, so yes I am fine” Dean replies.

“So the whole Demon look is not something we should be worry about?”

Dean blinks his eyes, they go black and then they go back to green.

“Wow, you really do have the whole black specs going for you”

“Charlie as I explained earlier to you, Dean is all right. Dean has been able to find his focus to keep the mark under wraps so speak” Castiel explained.

“Because of the brothers’ dynamics, the mark cannot posse nor control Dean. In fact because of their strong bond Dean can take control over the Mark and quench its thirst for blood, by giving it something stronger.” Hannah finished.

Charlie nods at all this information, but she wonders has it been explain to Sam? He sounded so desperate for help; last, she talked to him. However, he did not say anything to her about his current uh new look or predicament, well he try to, just not in full detail. Maybe they hash it out?

“Wow who would have thought that Dean’s over protective big brother, slash mother skills act would be something that could save him” Charlie mused aloud.

“Hey, I’m not over protective and I don’t mother him” Dean indignantly states

“Correct me if I am wrong, but when Sam was going through the trials, wasn’t it you who put his foot down and hefted a 6’4 little brother over their shoulder after you told him to go to bed”

“You saw how sick Sam was after the second trial Charlie, the kid needed to sleep”

“okay’ Charlie conceded quickly not wanting Dean to get mad at her for prying “and now? The whole…” Charlies waves her hand pointing at Sam in his arms.

“Sam needs me and I need him” was Dean simple answer to Charlie question.

At that moment Sam was leaning his head against Dean’s shoulder finally let out a small annoyed huffed. He babble something around his pacifier to Dean.

Dean’s face actually glowed with warmth as he reached up and tousled Sammy’s hair. Charlie’s expression on her face said what Cas and Hannah have known as she watched both brother interact.

“I’m sorry Sammy, forgot you’re hungry, let’s get something in that growly tummy.” Dean spoke fondly to his baby brother. Sam huffed, and whine at Dean.

“All, right baby I got it, hungry now, I can whip up spaghetti and meatballs that quick enough for you” Dean chuckle. “Cas, Hannah will you be joining us for dinner?” he asked

“Of course Dean, but first Hannah and I need to return to heaven and return some of the dangerous weapons we found at the Stynes manor” 

**~~~~~~~~~~~~**

Dean moves into library/den area with Charlie in tow- Dean needs to make dinner and wonders if Charlie is up to the task in babysitting Sam.

“Hey no problem I got this’ Charlie assures Dean as he stands in the doorway leading to the kitchen and she gives her best smile to him.

“Dude I baby sat kids before and if I need anything you are right in the kitchen” She winks

Dean smiles and walks out.

Charlie stand there a few seconds more and then goes over to the laid out blanket that Dean place Sam on. He’ sitting there with a toy car in each hand, but with a faraway look. She crouches down next to him 

“Hey Sam” she says quietly, she reaches tentively and touch his arm, his head moves over and sees her but he scrounges up his face trying to think.

“Did you want to play a game?” She asked hopefully

“uh…n…no” Sam shakes his head trying to clear the fog he feels himself in at the moment, what was he doing? He looks down at this hand and sees the truck and car in his hand.

“Sam?” Now Charlie looks confuse

Right, Charlie’s here, Sam knows he supposed to be doing something; he gathers all his emotions and thoughts and focuses on Charlie’s face.

“P…Pen” his eyes holds her and she gets the message, she stands up and searches her green cargo jacket pockets and quickly pulls out a pen and hands to him. He grabs her hand and start to draw some kind of sigil on the palm of her hand. Then he does the same on his hand, he then sits back and looks over at the doorway, he clears his throat and holds out his right hand in a hold motion toward Charlie….

“We should leave the bunker right now” Sam says this while watching the doorway again…. nothing happens, Sam sighs in relief

“It worked” Sam tells Charlie

“What work?” Charlie asked more confused at the sudden change in Sam.

“This warding spell the men of letters got from the Vatican archives a long time ago. It basically muffles’ sounds so enemy spies or psychics can’t hear clearly what is being said- I didn’t want to do anything stronger than that otherwise Dean will know something up. If our presence all of the sudden completely disappeared” Sam explains to Charlie.

“Why do we need to be muffle from Dean?”

Sam looks at Charlie, frown upon his face “Did you forget we are on a mission to remove the Mark of Cain from Dean’s arm?”

Charlies stands up and looks at Sam a little concern and skeptical

“Ok whoa, this whole scene is getting weird even for me- what was that whole scenery with you back in the infirmary- you seem content just then- and didn’t seem bother by your brother’s uh new looks and strength?”

Sam turns red- “I was tired and been given a bath-which was kind of puts me in a…. a… state…. you know what never mind about that!” he fumes at her.

“It was just an act all right!” Sam finishes

“An act?” Charlie looks skeptical at Sam’s claim.

“Dude, I’ve been Larping my whole life and been to several cons and events and what you were doing was no cosplay or acting…and believe me I’d know- you suck at it last time I saw your role play”

“What are you saying?”

“It looked more genuine Sam, like you know?”

“No I don’t” Sam glared at her

“I don’t know, but what Hannah and Castiel said kind of made sense and then seeing you with Dean, it made all the puzzles pieces fit together, since I’d known you two” Charlie finished

“You were happy, like really happy and you didn’t have all those worry frowns lines and sadness surrounding you and Dean actually was glowing watching you”

Sam is sitting there in his baby blue PJ’s looking all adorable but lost and confuse again at Charlie’s statement

“So you’re not going to help me?” Is all Sam can think to say to her.

Charlie Sighs “No wonder the books describe your puppy dog eyes- as deadly weapons” she smiles as she says this to Sam

“I don’t know Sam, Cas said the book vibrates with negative energy- and I also told you the backstory was “ick”” she reminds Sam

“Maybe the book is the wrong way to go” She looks at Sam

“The book is the only source we found that actually has a spell to be able to talk to Lucifer, we are using the book to get a phone line into the cage, that’s it” Sam argues                            

“Do you really think it’s safe?”

“Well when we first started this- we had Cas, who was going to help with incantations and made sure the symbols and sigils were accurate- since they seem pretty old, now it’s just you and me and possibly Crowley?”

“We are going to work with Crowley?” Charlie has this look of you must be kidding me.

“Well since Cas is out of the picture- who else would know more about old dark magic or at least find someone who can help us. “

Charlie look hesitant “Sam you should know something”

“What”

“Back at the Stynes home when Dean had Monroe and another two family member trap in the library…. He almost actually lost to them..

“What! What happen?”

“According to Cas, when he got there, Dean seem to be under some spell or he look mesmerize by the book Monroe was holding. He heard Monroe telling Dean he’s link to the book or the Mark is”

“What does that mean?”

“Cas doesn’t know but Monroe seem to know something was up and was about to use it to his advantage - Crowley showed up at the last minute behind Monroe and snatch the book and placed in a curse box and then Dean was able to function again- but for a moment he zombie out on everyone”

“So Crowley got the book?”

“Yeah…but…”

“No this is a good, this really good”.

“Sam weren’t you listening to anything I just said”

“Yes, it means we keep the book away from Dean”

“Sam!”

“And if it’s in Hell all the more better and easier to access and performed the spell I need”  


“You think Crowley is going to cooperate, he has the book of the damn he can become very powerful.”

“Nope he still needs me to release him from Solomon spell- tick for tack the spell won’t release until our deal is completed” Sam smirk

“Geeze Sam you are really playing with fire here… literally”

“So that’s a no from you,” Sam states

“I didn’t say that…uh just maybe this whole set up you have here with Dean might not be so bad- what harm is he doing. Right?”

“What harm?! Sam eyebrow raised “Dean’s a demon…and you are okay leaving him like that!” Sam voice raise

Where Charlie panicky and look over at the doorway and did the “Shhh”, hush motions with her hands- giving Sam an imploring look.

Sam also look over quickly to the door ad gives a shrug of his shoulders indicating he forgot.

“Okay what has he done that is so terrible, hmm?” Charlie finally asked Sam “and the age-play stuff, he has going with you does not counts as terrible” She waits for Sam’s response one eyebrow raised.

Sam opens his mouth and closes it trying to think besides what Charlie said, and then he has the answer:

“He’s my brother and it my fault he’s a demon- he died Charlie, I’d watched him die again and then got turn into a demon. All this happened because I push him away, when all he was doing was looking out for me…again…but he lied on how he did it or didn’t share the specific details until it was too late”

“Ah” now Charlie understands “So Dean did something you didn’t like and you decided to punish him by probably saying something that will hurt him”

Sam just nods

“Wow...brothers” Charlie finally says “ok so you are trying to fix something that you feel should never had happened in the first place- and not tell Dean about it- just like Dean didn’t tell you about Gadreel?” Charlie finishes

Charlie sits down next to Sam, crossed leg.

“Sam if you really believe this is the right way to go…like really, really believe- then okay”

Sam smiles at Charlie and is grateful “I’m not leaving my brother likes this”

“ok then, then somehow you better find a way to get to your cellphone because I send you something really important that I finally- remember how it took all one month to decipher some word here and there- well I finally broke the code and made a codex and send you the tablet I created-“

“You didn’t keep a copy on you?”

“Dude I was being stalked and before those goons broke down my door I send it to you and burn the rest on my laptop with a virus”

“Well this is great; this means we have more leverage to use on Crowley”

“We offer him the translation tablet for help, in getting close to the cage”

“WOW you’re really going to do this aren’t you?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Geeze Sam I’m no therapist here- but almost 200 years in that place, that’s major PTSD you’re asking for, are you ready to handle going back”

Sam eyes glaze “No” he whispers “But he’s my brother”

That one sentence seals it for Charlie and she smiles “Okay Sam”

Sam smiles back through glazed eyes “Thank you” as reaches over and squeezes Charlie’s hand.

“Whoosh” Charlie lets out and smiles big “Ok enough of that, as your brother says let’s end this Chick flick moment”

Sam agrees and starts to fill Charlie on when he will contact her next-the day before the full moon. That’s when Crowley will come into the bunker, help Sam get out, and then they’ll meet up later.

Dean is in the kitchen finishing up dinner and walks into the last bit on conversation and hears…..

“Within 3 weeks I assume” is the last part- Dean hears from Sam

“The last three weeks of what?” Dean asked casually

“Oh hey Dean, I was telling Sam about a Larping place close by and thought you and Sam might love to come participate again “Charlie smiles brightly, Dean raises an eyebrow and watches Sam as he drops his face down and his hair hangs in his face- a tell-tale sign when Sam is trying to hide something…

“Uh huh” Dean Response “I don’t think Larping and Sammy go hand and hand, but some play time at a park might be ok”

“Cool, yeah Picnic and playing at park totally chill with that” Charlie overly exaggerates her facial expression.

 Dean is still looking at Sammy who is still not responding at all

“Sammy ready to wash up for dinner”

Sam nods his head, while playing with his hands, still quiet Dean muses- and Sam hands are a dead giveaway- he’s nervous, He’ll give him some space and wait him out.

He was about to pick up Sam when Charlie interceded “No I got him Dean why don’t I help Sam wash up in the bathroom and we will join you as you set up” Charlie smiles brightly at Dean again 

Okay now he knows something is up. He looks at Sam who finally looks up and watching Dean carefully with a hesitant look…ok he’ll play along for now

“Sure Charlie there a washroom across the kitchen hall way, there’s a baby bench in there, you can have Sam sit down while you wash his hands”

“Okay Sam, let’s go” Charlie smiles at him and hold out her hand to him. Sam looks again at Dean, hesitantly grabs Charlie hand and stands up carefully. His legs a little a wobbly, but he takes his first step carefully as Charlie waits with him and then another a little stronger and then he smiles as he takes two more wobbly but strong steps, he looks up at Charlies who is smiling big at him and then she gushes

“look at you, very good Sam” she praises

Then Sam stops and looks at her blushing. Because it sounded exactly how you’d praise a baby who is learning how to walk. He gives her a grimace and pushes himself past her. He knows he is still trembling as he walks but he be damn if he allows Charlie too also start treating him and believing that he is a baby.

Charlie looks perplex and walks fast after him as Sam rounds the corner to the washroom. He walks in and plops his butt on the white cushion bench next to the sink, Charlie follows in and sees the frown on Sam’s face

“Ok what did I do?” Charlie looks over at him

“I’m not really a baby, you know that right?” He fumes.

“Who’s asking, Sam or Sammy” She looks at him expectantly-

“What!”

I mean, I get you are you right now, but I gotta tell you, you a moment ago, you were exactly that. I was just going along with it. So Dean doesn’t suspect us conspiring” She reaches over to the sink and turns on the faucet water and grabs a wash cloth and rinses it under the running water and proceeds to wash Sam’s hands.

She had offer to do this because she did not want Sam to be caught with the symbols he drew on there. Alternatively, she for that matter, last thing she needs is getting herself scolded by Dean, that would not be fun.

“Look I get you said you are just playing along for survival until you get out. But either you have a praise Kink, or ….

“Or What” Sam scowls at her

“OR you really are a toddler stuck in a man’s body Charlie cringes as she finished the sentence- when she sees that Sam did not bite her head- she continues to Sam’s open gape mouth look

“It’s like Castiel said- your soul is uh really young- so when you’re tired, hungry, sick, hurt or completely relax- you naturally come out- I don’t know I guess Castiel thinks its because you feel safe and secure knowing Dean is there to take care of you and he never complains when you regress…

“I do not regress! Why do you all think I do that!  I am just out of it and loopy when I’m sick or hurt, most people are” Sam argues

“That’s not loopy Sam, I’ve seen loopy…Dean’s loopy when he’s on codeine! You are a giant two-year-old who want Big Bro to kiss your boo-boos to make them better” Charlie comes back with, but slams her hand over her mouth when she realizes what she’ said to Sam. Especially when the big puppy man-child’s eyes just glazed-up.

“That’s not…true” Sam rasp out in a whisper

“Sam sorry, I didn’t mean it like that, I mean I was just trying to- you know help you maybe see what everyone else I guess expects you to know?’

“Expect me to know what?”

“UH…well…. geeze Sam you’re either really oblivious to your inner self- or you have a major case of denial syndrome or something”

‘Sam just rubs his face and sighs “Look let’s just drop this and continue on what we need to be doing- I’m tired and I’m actually really hungry-“

“Okay –recap, A.) You need your phone, B.) Meet-up with uh-black bird and C.) Escape pod provided by yours truly and this by full moon” Charlie finishes

Sam has this baffled look on his face “What, was that? … Black bird?  Escape Pod?”

Charlie does the “shhh”, motion and looks at Sam points to his hand- he looks down is reminded he does not have the protection sigil- since she washed his hand- but she still has hers but has to be careful how to word things. She reaches into her pockets and pulls out the same pen they use earlier. She then whispers to Sam “I’m using code words” Charlie makes finger quote motions.

Then pulls out a receipt of paper and writes down “blackbird=Crowley” the “escaped Pod= car”

“Get it” she says with a smile, Sammy scowls how was he supposed to know that…

“Uh yeah got it”

“well then let’s go”

They walk out of the bathroom towards the kitchen. They go to the dining area connected to the kitchen. Sam can smell the rich aroma of spices and sauce- he realizes Dean made Spaghetti and meatballs. Sam face lights ups a bit and half hurry into the dining room with the communal table Dean installed since he didn’t’ want chairs with a formal look, but more relax ambiance for friends’ and family to sit down and enjoy eating and hanging out.

“Wow that smells good” Charlie’s says

“Wait till you tasted it “Sam beams, he remembers this was the one thing beside Mac and Cheese that Dean would make, when he had a full kitchenette- he make them a whole pot to last a week- since the supplies for it was simple pasta, can sauce and ground meat. As the years went by Dean would experiment when he could with spices or other add-ons. Now here at the Bunker Dean had a full kitchen to make the best spaghetti with meatballs.

However, he’d only make it when they were not on case or after a hunt because the sauce was so rich and heavy it made you sleepy afterwards.

Sam beam as he saw the pot steamy sitting in the center of the table and there were French rolls to go with it, with plates setting all set up, just as he rush to sit down, he was grab from under his arms by Dean and lifted up

“Whoa there Sammy, a little fast there, you skip your chair”

Sam looked down and saw he was being place in that dreaded high chair, he’d forgotten about, he immediately started to squirm and twist.

“Wait Dean, please, can I join you guys at the table?” Sam pleads

“Sammy you are joining us at the table?” he manages to settle Sam in- then he pulls the straps over Sammy’s arms, he clicks the buckle in place. Sam looks at his brother and pouts as his big brother then snaps on the tray.

Before Sam, starts to protest loudly Dean quickly set his plate in front of him and one roll. Sam eyes go wide and smiles in appreciation, quickly reaches for the roll and dips it in the sauce and pop the piece of bread in his mouth.

“This is awesome,” Sam says through a mouth full of food-but a satisfied smile

Dean chuckle “I’m glad you like it Sammy” Dean turns to face Charlie who was watching their interaction again “well dig in” he tells Charlie

She herself hurried over since it does smell so good and her tummy growl- She quickly spoons a full serving on her plate and snatches a roll from the basket. She takes her first bite and ….

“Oh god this is heaven!” Charlie exclaims! She proceeds to eat with gusto. Dean joins them, happy to know his guest like his cooking.

Castiel stops by 5 minutes later to join them, though now that he has his grace back he was disappointed to learn he can now only taste atoms and particles. However, he continued to eat just for the companionship with people he now considers friends and family- especially the Winchester- as Dean has reminded him he is family.

Hannah had also stop by 30 minutes later, decline to eat but sat and at least drank something called beer. She was trying to see what Castiel finds in these humans. She can always sense his emotions, which are always warm and contend. She looks across the table; she sees a happy glow surround these people a connection that comes from the brothers. She feels something herself she can’t quite grasp, but she wants …like wishing...maybe… a longing?

Before she can contemplate more on these feelings, she is experiencing.

She sees a piece of fruit in front of her eyes, she pushes her head back in confusing and follows the hand that is holding it, which is cover in tomato sauce and grease, before she can polity refuse, she sees the eyes to Sam Winchester, smiling in earnest. Hannah reaches tentively and smiles half-heartedly to the young boy next to her. Who beams at her when she takes the fruit.

She can’t help but returned the smile “thank you” she said and then it happens, she watches again as these golden entrails surges forward a wraps around her wrist coming from this young soul.

She realizes this is coming from both boys not just Sam. A sense of belonging envelops her. This is what the Winchester give back when they help and include people in their inner circle she watches in amazement as it completely envelops her it feels… like a hug but from something higher something she and her kindred have wish to feel in a long time “God’s love.”

This is what this is, this is what it’s like to feel to belong and she has been accepted and included- her eyes do something they’ve never done before in the vessel- they glaze up and she feels warm.

She looks at Sam and smiles, genuinely smile from her Angel grace

“Thank you young one”

Sam thinks, the thanks is for the fruit he just given her, he gives her a quizzical look but says “You’re welcome.”

He turns back to his food and eats more of his pasta with such enthusiasm, no realizing once again he lower face is cover in red sauce and so are his hands when the plastic child fork would drop some noodles he catches some in his hand and place it back on the fork.

Hannah watches in amazement how this child radiates with so much light and innocence and he seems not aware of it? This does puzzle her a bit, she then notice Sam’s eye starting to droop, but tries to keep them open, by blinking them over and over. He finally huffs impatiently and reaches to rub one of his eyes. She covers her mouth when she sees the results of his efforts- As Sammy whines because he covered his eyelid with pasta bits and sauce. It catches Deans’ ears and he whips he head over to Sam who is trying his damnest to wipe his face and not succeeding.

Dean jumps up quickly as he sees Sammy getting frustrated and starting to more than just huff now.

Oh dear Hannah just realizes she is closest to Sam and was just watching instead of helping him- where are her manner, she quickly grabs a warm wet towel to hand immediate to Dean who has reached Sam.

“Thank you “Dean tells her “Sammy stop. You’re just rubbing it in more kid”

“Am Not” Sam answers angrily “Just give me a minute” he yelps as he feel the wet towel on his face and tries so wiggle and push Dean’s hand away..

“Dean Stop. I can do it, give it to me” Sam reaches with one hand to get the towel himself he has one eye open. Trying so hard to reach towards Dean other hand. Sam finally notices that the sounds of talking has stop and through squint vision, he sees Cas and Charlie watching them.

Sam face goes red and tries with one more lunge to grab the towel and end this embarrass treatment. Before Dean says something sternly and maybe even smack Sammy’s hand away. Hannah quickly puts her hand on Dean’s shoulder.

“Let me please” she raises eyebrow asking to Dean.

Dean is surprise and hands over the towel. She turns and stands in front of Sam as he watches them. She smiles warmly and holds the towel up for Sam to see.

“Will you let me help you Sam?” She waits patiently as Sam twisted his fingers and finally nods his head. She reaches and with care, she starts to wipe off as much as she can. She also gives Dean a look and tilts her heads towards Cas and Charlie and he get the message to continue as though nothing has happen. He smiles his gratitude and sits down again. Cas and Charlie notice what is going on. They restarted their conversation.

Hannah finishes up with Sam, his face is a bit stain, but the sauce and pasta are gone this definitely need more of a quick wash in the bathroom with some warm water. She unlocks the tray and unsnaps the straps,

“Would you like to wash your face Sam in the bathroom?”

Sam knows he must still look a mess- so he agrees, he was about to jump off when she reaches her hand out for support and Sam hesitate but then takes it. He wanted to go by himself but Hannah had asked him if she could assist him, not wanting to be rude like he can be with Dean. He agreed.

They walk to the big share commune bathroom closest to Sam’s room. He walks up to the rows of sinks and is about to turn one on but stops looks at his reflections, and gets mad at himself. He has never eaten like such a slob not since he was four. By five, he had learned how to get the food to his mouth without spilling it.

Now he somehow manages to not just spill food but smear it in too. His face is stain light red, the bib is completely soiled and his poor elephant on the front shirt did not survive either. He sniffles a bit at himself.

He feels a small soft hand on his cheek and sees Hannah looking at him.

“There now, nothing to be upset about, all young ones tend to make mess of themselves when in complete enjoyment of the stuff they are doing”

“But… but I’m not a baby anymore this should not be happening- I know all the things, we are taught to do when we are young and don’t know better, I’m past this” he says through gritted teeth trying not to give in to tears.

Hannah give him a reassuring squeeze on his arm “I know the vessel you are in is tall and 31, but your heart and soul are still eternally young’

“So, why hasn’t it never happen before? Why now? When it could have been when I was 18 and scared at Stanford! Or dam it at 22 and Dean was back in my life and any other times that first year back. If I’m so young as you say, why didn’t I then asked or just let Dean kiss my boo, boos or rock me to sleep when I had nightmares. Or just any babying treatment from Dean all my adult life!! Since I’m so young I would have welcome it right!!” Sam argues vehemently

Hannah looks confuse a bit at his outburst- “Samuel, you did?”

“What?”

“Remember February 2006? Jessica Moore had been dead for 3 months and you made your body fall ill from sleepless nights and not eating properly. Dean was most worried about you. You spike 104 and Dean for the first time finally took over, as he should have instead allowing you to get that bad. He ran a luke-warm bath and undress you to bring down your fever all the time cooing, at you since you started to cry and thrash. Do you not recall how you responded to this treatment?”

Sam face was red as he does recall that event not when he was delirious with fever but after Dean brought him down to 101, and treated him as if he was Sammy again with soup and movies and (gulps) cuddles and stories.

~~~Flashback~~~~~

He remembers Dean bought a couple of big bright colorful books and read them to him. However, that was an unspoken secret, he remember when he got better and woke up next to his big brother. Dean look so exhausted but happy.

He knew playtime was over he would not feel relax with Dean once he woke up. He had to pretend it never happen, hopefully Dean would get the message, let it go and not push Sam. Because he was still feeling vulnerable and if Dean pushed, Sam would cave in and want to cuddle next to Dean every night when its bed time and get a story too and he quickly put the brakes on when his mind almost started slipping down that slope…

They needed to get back on the road, find dad and finally put that yellow eye demon to rest. There was no more time for stories or playtime. They were hunters and people are dying. This was not needed anymore; Sam was better, not sick and loopy to act so childish so by the time he finished his thoughts. He had push all the warm memories back and fully convince himself, he was ill and mentally out of it to explained his behavior.

That’s why he gave Dean attitude and shit when he walk in the bathroom while he was showering for one brief moment Dean almost push and if Dean only knew then Sam waited with bated breath pleading with two thoughts in his eyes “Please let it go Dean” and “Please call my bull shit Dean”

~~~~~~End Flashback~~~~~~

But no Sam can’t even think that now…

“No I don’t know what you are talking about” Sam lied to Hannah

Hannah felt Sam internal struggle and his real need to be what he once was to Dean...his Sammy….. Hannah hopes that Dean will be able to help Sam reach that point soon.

“I see” is all she said. She reaches over the sink and turns on the faucet waits for it to get hot. Then temps it down a bit with cold water, she was about to grab a face towel when Sam steps up and leans down in the sink and reaches in the streams and begins to splash water onto his face and scrub with his hands.

Hannah sighs and reaches for one of the big towels on the sink as they are going to need it, since Sam is getting water everywhere and on himself not just his face. Sam knows it; he just doesn’t care.

He just wants to wash off all the stains of the tomato sauce, then he’ll just take off the damp shirt and change into one of his more comfortable sleep shirt. He lifts his head up and then shakes his head to get some of the water off the fringes of his front hair areas that got wet while he washed his face, he was about to reach to the side of the sinks to grab a towel when he feels it on his face. He startles a bit forgetting Hannah is still there.

He grabs for the towel from her hands and begins to dry his face and part of his bangs that got wet. He tosses the towel into the brown wooden hamper in the bathroom, and turns walks out the bathroom.

Hannah follows close behind giving him space, he stops at the entrance of his bedroom doors and sighs big, his shoulders slump.

“uh, Hannah, you wouldn’t know where Dean put my regular clothes do you”

Hannah tilts her head and responds, “They’re in the 3rd guest room down the hall, why do you asked?”

“Well assuming this whole change of scenery for me was to acquaint myself with my true self. Did you guys, ever expected me to be myself at all? I just want to wear my grey long sleeve sleep shirt and black sweat pants to sleep today if that is all right with ya'll” he huffs humorlessly.

Hannah knows this is a human comfort for Sam and she smiles, "Of course  Sam, I understand"

She lifted her hand up in right there folded where Sam's favorite black sweats and Grey long sleeved shirt. Sam didn't want to feel emotional over something as simple as sleep wear but it was a comfort for him in all this craziness that was happening.

"Thank you" he whispered and that small victory lasted about 5 seconds when she open the door to his room  

"Did you need a change before you slip into you sweats and shirt?"

Sam wanted to bang his head against the wall, but refrained, knowing it would probably cause another - owie check or baby treatment.......

 


	16. More Tears and Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is feeling more lost and confused after speaking with Hannah...the only thing he has to tried to keep in mind no matter how much he falls in himself, he needs to remember "Save Dean". this mantra will always help pull him out of whatever head-space Dean or the angels or anyone else has him in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello All, who have stuck by this story,thank you for your patience....I'm learning that maybe I do not need to write such long chapters, I just need to write a something, anything and just keep the ball going. No matter how small or big.
> 
> this chapter is only 3k to 4k words better than my usual 10k to 20k words....... I have two other WIPS and might use the same formulas or wait until I finish this one first and then tackle the other two and finished them too... I don't know I'll see what my mind and soul do.....
> 
> i want to thank you "SCOUT" for helping me get this out and your enthusiasm and energy gave me fire again. Thank you to my dear and good friend Miss Pixieleigh1234 writer herself for "HOME" which i give praises to :) you've been the strength that I need to keep going.

 

Chapter 16: More tears and comfort

Sam took a deep breath and exhales, and turns to face Hannah,

“Just for tonight, I am asking to please let me sleep without the craziness I’ve been put through the past week” Sam has his hands clasped in front of him, firm look on his face.

Hannah once again knows this is Sam’s comfort, but it would be wrong of her to let Sam sleep without the protection of a pull-up seeing as Sam body now is most likely to leak while he sleeps as the bladder muscle has accustomed itself back to the relax state of an infant.

She nods to herself thinking the best way is to be honest with Sam and appeal to his intellect.

“I understand your request, but I…” before she could explain

Sam turns around, cuts her off with a curt “Thank you”, and walked into his room closing the door behind him. Hannah was puzzled with the action and was about open the door to follow but paused.

This is one of those times Castiel told her of knocking before entering, but she does admit it’s puzzling especially when the individuals know each other and there is important stuff to discuss. She feels through the door, sensing Sam’s movement and emotion. Sam’s emotions are actually all over the place, this gives her pause wanting to enter but hesitating, thinking this will cause the child more turmoil.

He seems to be sliding in his mind, since she mentioned the memory of him being back with Dean hunting together for the yellow-eyed demon. She thought it would help Sam see and understand, not send him into more distress. She gave a quick knock and called out through the door.

“Sam I will be joining the others, if there is anything else you need, please don’t hesitate to call me”

Hannah steps away, goes back to the others and informs Dean of Sam’s possible unsuspecting predicament while he sleeps.

~~~~~~~~

Sam stands in his room or what used to be his room…and holds onto what he considers a part of who he is, in his hands, while he struggles with the memories of what Hannah had mentioned to him.

He looks again around his room, and looks at the colors of blues splashed with colors of sunset pinks around the walls and matching furniture. It was really a beautiful nursery, you can tell a lot of care, and planning went into it. He walks over to the rocking chair, sits down and leans back. It feels nice and he can actually relax a bit.

Sam starts to push back and feels it rock back and forth, remembering Dean rocking him the last time and it feeling nice. He stops rocking immediately and sighs that his first thought is of Dean holding him and rocking him and it should freak him out but all it does is make him crave that once more.

His hand starts clenching and unclenching while it rest on his thigh, this is so stupid he thinks, “What is this proving?” Sam has always been a man of research and intellect; he needs a reason as to what is the benefit for any plans he and Dean did. Even with hunting, he always weighs the pros and cons in the approach …of course some of his best plans don’t always go according to plan. Aw whom is he kidding? All their perfect planning tends to go up in smoke. Dean’s fly by the seat of his pants thinking had gotten them out of difficult situations. Sometimes though it was just pure dumb luck.

He shakes his head. What was he doing again? He looks down at his lap and sees his sleepwear. Oh right change and get some sleep.

 

Sam gets dressed in his black pants and Grey long sleeved shirt. After struggling to get the damn diaper off. He rolled it up and dump it in the bin next to the changing table.

He realized too late that he didn’t ask for boxer briefs just his pant and shirt. Oh, well commando it is then, at least it’s better than wearing a diaper!

He walks over to the crib and sees the rails up, Sam sighs. This is actually a comfortable mattress if it weren’t for the damn rails. He would not have a problem sleeping on it….he walks to the middle and pushes in the button to release and struggles a bit, he always did hate these type of release lever on cribs, hospital beds, or safety gates they put on stairs for toddlers and pets.

He finally manages to get it all the way down; there much better, it looks more like a daybed now. He reaches up, put his hands on the mattress, and pulls himself up onto the mattress. He sits for a few minutes, testing it out, bouncing a bit and yeah, comfortable. He yawns and is about to lay down, when his right hand hits something soft. 

He looks downs and sees a stuffed animal, now that he looks around the whole bed, there are several stuffed animals. He huffs and quickly grabs them all and toss them out. There much better now, he reaches to his pillow to fluff it out. He feels something underneath and pulls out another stuff animal…it’s the dog one….the ones he found in one of those Goodwill stores when they were kids…well not the actual one, that one burned in the fire back in Stanford…but it is an exact duplicate….

“Uughh” Sam grunts and he’s about to toss it too but stops and look down at it again. Why! Why, would Dean thinks he would needs this again? He’s 31! It has been 9 years since he last seen it. Even then, it just sat on a shelf next to a picture of Jess and himself. Jess thought it was cute that he had kept a piece of his childhood with him. “Not many people do” she would tell him and share, “most would just pack up everything and store it, or send it off to a Goodwill, or at the worst dump it”.

He remembers that he was close to doing that himself. He had showed up at Stanford he was 18 years old and while he unpacked, he saw it nestled in his duffle at the bottom. He’d felt sad and angry at the same time, because he knows he left it back in house they were renting then, and he hadn’t bother to pack it up.

That was his way of saying 100% goodbye to his old life, to his family, because if John could cut him off like that, then so could he. He didn’t need any reminders. It also hurt more when Dean just stood there as he walked out; of course, he caught up with Sam later walking out on the road. Still…

That must have been when Dean snuck in the Flops; Dean was always slight of hands. It was one of the reasons he was good at poker and (not a very proud feat) he could pickpocket anything without anyone noticing, or yeah even shoplift. Except for that one time, when he was caught.

However, he was 16 and trying to get back to a sick 12 year old little brother, and he was feeling a bit down because another gambler at a poker game tricked him. He lost all the money their dad left, not that a 100 bucks would get them far for 2 weeks. Dean was just trying to double it up.

Dean got too cocky and forgot the rule his dad taught them, to quit while ahead and keep your eyes open, because they weren’t the only ones who hustle in games.

That was a cluster fuck- Dean ended up in a boy’s home and Sam ended up with Bobby and then John.

Unpacking at Stanford, Sammy had held tight to the dog, remembering all his memories. How dare Dean sneak in Flops in his bag? This was hurtful but also it was a small token of Dean’s love because his big brother could not, say the words aloud, so his action was telling Sammy he will keep in touch. To hell with that. He had gotten the dog out, walked over to the trash bin and proceeded to dump it in.

Then the damn dog had landed looking up, and it looked lost and forlorn. Sam hesitated and bit his lip. Memories of sick days and nightmares flashed through his head. Of Bedtimes, stories snuggled close next to Dean and holding Flops. Of tears and fears and holding on to the stupid dog waiting for Dean to come home safe from a hunt (after he learned about monsters).

Then, one clear memory out of all them came through clearly…the first time he saw the stuffed dog…

They’d been at another Goodwill and a 5 year old Sam saw a box with stuff just thrown in. He had toddled over from where he was standing next to John as he looked at what was sitting slight hanging out, the brown and white patched, missing one eye stuffed doggy.

“Hi Puppy” Sammy whispered in awed as he knelt next to the box, he reached out tentatively and pick up the stuffed dog and hugged it. He walked over to his dad with the doggy in his hands and remembered asking his dad for it, and John looking sad and reminded Sam that today was Dean’s choice to pick out something, because he got A on his math test. Sam remembered agreeing, but wanting to cry. Dean had found 5 old used comic books and he had just enough with the 2 dollars dad had given him.

Sam’s heart clenched when he remembered walking out with the stuff dog and Dean only had two comic books. This is what made him pick up the dog from the trashcan he just dump the dog in, and hugged it tight to his chest back in Stanford. Dean always sacrificing for Sammy….

~~~~

This memory is what stays Sammy’s hand now as he sits in the crib, hand pull back ready to kick out the stuff dog. He carefully puts his arm down and looks at the ball of fluff with the patches of brown and the black button eye Dean had sown when he got back to the motel…but this is just a replica right?

Sam turns the dog upside down and looks at the tag close to the tail and in faded ink it says “SW” and a heart symbol next to it…Dean had written his initials for him, when they got back to the motel. He hugs it tight to himself and inhales and it does have the hint of cotton candy smell. Sam got it covered in it once, and Dean had washed it as best as he could but the smell somehow lingered, faintly but still there.

He knows this is the stuffed dog from his childhood and not just a carbon copy. How did…? Never mind, he can guess at how Dean did it, after all they’re life has been so crazy since the Angels became of part of their norm- So time traveling to get one childhood trinket would be easy.

Sam looks at the dog one more time and feels the overwhelming feelings of something wanting to come through. He finally just lays down slowly, his head on the pillow, and pulls the dog close to him as he looks out to his room and slowly closes his eyes.

 

Sam’s eyes snap open the moment he turns to his other side in his sleep.

He feels it, the cold wet sensation all over his lower half. He wants to cry or even moan but he knows what will happen next if he does, so he pushes down the emotional cry that wants to come out..

He slowly sits up and winces at the stickiness of his pants on his legs, groin and bottom area. Fuck, he thinks, how did he not feel the need to wake up to go to the bathroom? He pulls the blue blanket off him, the stench of urine hits him, and he scrunches his nose.

He sees the baby crib bars are still down and he pulls himself over to the side, slides off, and continues to fall until he hits the ground on his bottom, but not too hard as the blanket he was holding onto helped slow his descent.

He sat on the floor for a few moments, trying to decide what to do. He felt disgusted and yeah “icky’ was the best word.

He finally stood up and looked down at himself, his pants were completely soaked in the front and down between his legs. His gray shirt didn’t survive either, the lower part got wet too. He looked at the crib bedding and could see the large wet spot. He sniffled a bit, it was just damn embarrassing. He was probably 9, the last time he wet the bed, and that was only because he started having nightmares after discovering monster were real.

Dean had been completely cool about it and didn’t make a big deal about it, and didn’t get angry having to be the one to clean Sam’s bed up. Dean was fast and efficient, and he made Sammy feel all better after.

Sam looked at the bedding as he pulled it off and felt helpless as to what to do next. He looked over to the door and thought…maybe…but no he shook he shook his head.

He’s not some little kid, or worse some baby. He is 31 and 6’4 he was no longer small. It was just so gross touching the blankets and sheets and walking in his wet pants. How did Dean do it? He got to the door and opened it quietly.

He looked down the hall, dragged the sheets, blankets behind him towards the bathroom, and dumped them on the floor. He looked at himself in the mirror and can see himself clearly now, oh yeah he got himself good. He needs to get out of these wet clothes and take a shower. He walks over to the shower stall, turns on the water and steps back, and then proceeds to take his clothes off.

The pants were easy, just pull and let them drop without touching. The shirt is a bit tricky. You would think after being splattered with Vampire’s blood and Ghoul’s guts, touching pee on his shirt would not gross him out. He got his arms out the sleeves, but it was hard getting his head out without letting any part of head/face touch the lower wet spot.

Unfortunately it does not work, he gets lost, confused, and frustrated. In doing this Sam forgets he left the sleeping sheets on the floor. His feet get tangled, and down he goes. He tries to catch himself but the shirt is still covering his face. He falls back and yup, the back of the head collides with the hard tiled floor…

It’s instant…and really if Sam is honest with himself, an automatic reflex.

“DEEEEE!!!” he screams. 

And the tears come without fail, but at this moment he doesn’t care.

His head is throbbing, he is lying in tangled peed on sheets, and his vulnerable side is front and center.

Dean was at his side in an instant, he helped Sam sit up and pull the shirt off his head. Then he proceed to run his hand through his hair to feel for…

Sam hissed…Ah there it is, the bump on the back area, feeling like the size of a walnut.

Dean was trying to see what happened. He had went to check on Sam after Hannah told him what transpired earlier. He saw Sam’s toys thrown out of the crib, but Sam hugging “Flops” to his chest. The rails were down and Sam was in his favorite sleepwear.

He did check and as Hannah said, Sammy had no diaper on. He debated whether to put one on Sam while he was sleeping, but chose to leave it be. He just made sure there was an absorbent pad under the sheet, and he was going to pull up the crib rails but stopped when he heard Sam sniff, and he noticed his baby had dried tears tracks on his face

Awww baby what got you all upset, Dean wondered, he also saw Sam had his thumb in his mouth. He gently stroked Sammy’s hair and it helped him stop snuffling, relax and fall into a restful sleep. He had gotten up from sitting next to Sam, deciding to leave him as is. He was hoping it would be enough to get Sam to let his walls down a bit then talk in the morning the way Charlie told him and make some compromises with Sam.

It’s not like he won’t listen, Charlie assured him, and she also admitted she believes Sam really doesn’t mind this…in fact deep, really deep down inside his little brother loves and craves his big brother’s affection and doting…they just needed to set up some rules. She explained in all RP games there are general rules and parameters the key master must set up and the players adhered too.

Same thing in an age play community, Carlie had just gotten her tablet out to show Dean a community she had heard about through the grapevine. He could look into and have Sam read it and let him see that it’s normal.

That’s when they both heard the scream and dashed.

Seeing Sammy lying on some blue sheets, his shirt caught around his neck over his face and naked from the neck down. It made Charlie blush at first and look up and away. But the heart wrenching sob and wail that came next tore her eyes back to Sam, watching Dean jump toward the crying little brother who all in all resemble exactly what a toddler would be acting like when he has fallen and gotten hurt.

The wailing and the sobbing while in between trying to call out to their parent. She watched as Dean gently sat Sam up and removed the shirt off and the tears streaming down his face as he looked up at Dean.

Then Dean examined Sam’s head and found the lump that was there, Sam wincing and then trying to move away from the probing. Dean holding him while comforting him.

“Hey it’s okay Sammy, I just need to see how big it is.”

 Sam wailed for him to stop, because it hurt.

For now, Charlie forgot about the naked grown man and saw the small young vulnerable child. At that moment, she agreed with the fans of the “Supernatural” books how you just want to give Sam a hug and make it all better.

As Dean tried comforting Sam, he finally got his hand around Sammy waist. As he stood up he hoisted Sam into his arms, one arm under his

bum and the other circling to hold his back and his hand cradling the back of Sam head.

As he rubbed up and down, trying to soothe him through the loud hiccupped cries, Charlie was just mesmerized by this brotherly bond between the boys. She felt like she was witnessing something personal. It’s not like she hasn’t seen something like this before, when Sam had gotten hurt by a banshee on a hunt, a while back.

She remembers after the hunt when she went to her car to get the first aid kit, she had come back to find Dean holding his baby brother like a mom would a hurt child, and offering soothing words to calm the hitching sobs she could hear from Sam.

 

She thought Sam was going to give Dean some snarky, sassy remark to Dean’s baby talk to him- but instead he actually curled in more towards his brother, hand clinging tight to his shirt. She felt like an intruder, especially when Dean reassured Sam, once Charlie got back with the kit he would fix it and all would be better.

She had purposely walk 5 steps back quietly and then made noise walking back in. When she enter again, the scene had changed Sam’s hand was still fisted in Dean’s shirt but he was not curling towards his brother just laying flat on his back. He seem to be breathing in and out to control the pain. But she could still the tracks of some tears.

Then right before the trials, Sam had gotten the flu and she showed up unannounced. She walked into a quiet bunker, thinking the boys were out. She thought she would fix herself a snack and wait for them. As she got to the small alcove past the library to get to the kitchen, she saw the big reclining chair that was normally in the den, right in the library right before you enter the kitchen.

She could see Dean but he was holding something, she was curious, so She walked over and almost let out a gasp. When she saw Dean shoot her a warning glare, she had clamped her hand over her mouth to stifle any sound.

He just given her a quick nod and continued to rock gently. Sam was swaddle in his arm his body completely turn and curled towards his big brother. She had given Dean a tight smile with a thumbs up and walked to the kitchen.

When he had joined her 30 minutes later, he did not address what she saw, only told her that Sammy had been sick all week with the flu. So if she did not want to catch it, she should stay away from the bunker, until he is 100% better. His polite way of telling her to leave.

She remembers other similar incidents. But had learned never to mention them. There seem to be this unspoken rule among them.

But now, this seemed to be more than those times, this seemed to be what Hannah had mention in the infirmary to her and even more just a few moments ago during dinner when she came back. After leaving Sam, what Hannah said had clicked in Charlie’s head- all those little incidents she had come across, where in fact normal behavior for Sam.

The story Castiel had shared of two souls not just being split like soul mates in the way humans understood, but both being created on purpose to balance out the other. The ever warrior guardian soul which was Dean’s soul and the forever young innocent soul that was Sam to be his balance and focus.

 

So having this new information, it was not so weird, as she watched Dean attend to Sam. She wanted to help Dean at this moment, so she quickly offered to take the sheets, blankets and clothes, by what she could see where um yup…an accident. 

But for Sam’s sake, she will not worry about how or why…she grabbed everything and took it to the laundry room in the bunker. When she got back to the bathroom, she could see Dean giving Sam another bath. Sam was not crying so much except to give small-hiccupped cries, wanting to get out and Dean having to shush him as he cooed at him.

“S’alright Sammy, almost done,” and, “I know baby, I know, you’re tired.”

Charlie watched as Dean finished and finally wrapped Sammy up in a big white fluffy towel. The towel actually had a hood and he placed it over Sam’s head and turned towards Charlie.

“Thanks Charlie” Dean spoke in a low voice. “I’m getting ready to put Sam down, if you want we can continue to talk about what you mentioned later?”

Charlie understood, Dean needed her out right now. Because although right now she can see Sam is in a completely regressed form. Dean still needed to protect his little brother. She’d witnessed how Sam gets when new people watch him. In what really should be something nice for Sam to enjoy fully. Once Dean and Sam had set up some rules of course.

“No worries I was heading out anyways, but remember what I told you and I left the link saved on your laptop “

She gave the peace sign and was about to say her usual slogan “Peace out B”—but stopped herself before finishing that sentence.

“Oops,” she smiles, “sorry.”

Dean smiled at her, “No worries.” He held Sam in one arm and held out his other so she could hug him. She gave Dean a side quick hug and Sam gave a small whine. Maybe in protest? Or maybe he was just really tired as Dean said and was just letting them know.

She walked out of the bathroom and gave pause at Sam’s room. She walked in and looked around quickly, she knew she had less than 2 minutes to do what she had to do.

As much as she is starting to understand what Cas, Hannah and Dean have shared with her. She did promise Sam she would help him and she did agree with Sam about the Mark of Cain on Dean’s arm.

She gave a quick look out toward the bathroom, and Dean still has not come out. She walked to the library and left Sam a message there as well.

If all goes according to plan, Sam will have found a way to contact her one more time, before he bust out of here with Crowley’s help.

Here is keeping her fingers cross and hopes “Winchester Luck” does not affect her.

 

 

 

 


End file.
